Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I selected 2 my SO accept that I'm a CD person but doesn't want to see me dress or in makeup. She also doesn't encourage me at all.
I know that I'm a cross-dresser and I'm beginning to believe that I may be a transsexual.
Thanks for you answers. Please if you would make some additional comments.  I'm sure they will help me and many other people.
:)
Jillieann

Hi JillieAnne,

Back when I was first coming out, and especially with clothes and makeup, my wife helped me a lot and was very accepting.  However, since I'm not CD, I didn't vote.

Melissa

I do not have a SO. I am very single at the moment  :(.

Alice

Back when I was "still a cross dresser" (that's what I thought of myself at the time) my first wife left me shortly after I came out to her.  There were other major strains on the relationship, though, and this one just added to the load.  I foolishly kept it from her until after we married.

My second and current wife knew of my cross dressing but did not approve.  If she found some female clothing of mine it immediately disappeared with not one word being spoken.  She purged more than I did, LOL!  As the years have gone by she stopped throwing my stuff out (I kept replacing it) but still was very unwilling to witness, let alone participate in my dressing.  When I came out to her with my suspicions that I was TS she took it very hard but now has gotten to the point where I can dress at home and she helps out sometimes too.  She still hates that I go out presenting as female (Wig, makeup, etc) but doesn't complain when I go out looking androgynous.

The point, though, is that this took a very long time - years (We were married in 1987 and were together 5 years before that).  But this was all done without the help of a knowledgeable therapist.  And I feel very lucky so far, many, or even most marriages (from what I read) do not survive this kind of thing.  I think it depends on both people in the relationship.  If the one isn't willing to give a little, the other wiill have very few choices left.

helen

I came out to my wife about six or seven years ago.  At the time we had been married for over 30 years and we are still married.  At first she did not want to see me dressed en femme, but this changed a month or so after I told her.  She was initially accepting but has become more supportive and encouraging over time.  She has bought me gifts of jewelry and clothing and makes helpful comments on my makeup and clothing.  I always helped her pick out her clothes and she has been appreciative of my sense of style.  We have had our disagreements from time to time, but have tried to find a place where we can both be comfortable.  I have learned not to push too far in certain areas and she understands my need to crossdress.  The most painful thing about telling my wife was not that she objected to my crossdressing but that I had kept this a secret from her for so many years.  Of course the primary reason for keeping this from her was my own sense of shame.  I could not tell her until I was honest with myself.

My wife also says she accepts it but doesn't want to see it.  Then again what can I expect when I am still trying to accept it myself.

Thank you for your replies. Some many of you are like me; your SO knows but doesn't want to help or even see you dressed.
Be encouraged by the polls. They show that you are not alone in beening not able to express an important part of yourself to your loved one (SO). 
It not you but your SO who has the problem. Let us continue to encourage one another as we have been doing.
:)
Jillieann