Community Conversation => Transitioning => Therapy => Topic started by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:43:43 PM Return to Full Version
Title: My new therapist
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:43:43 PM
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:43:43 PM
I just had my first session with my new therapist. I was unhappy with my last therapist and stopped seeing her in April. I was getting ready to go fulltime soon, so I decided see see a new one that were within my constraints of location, cost, and scheduling. He met all 3 and was recommended by other members of the community. He is FTM himself and transitioned about 11 years ago.
Beforehand, I had typed up a 3 page outline about my history and that came in useful. I wanted to make sure I was able to talk about everything. I had made an appointment with him using my best female voice, so I'm not sure what he was expecting. When I got there, he said that until he noticed me up close, he thought I was already female, so that answers that question about how other perceive me from a distance.
I told him about why I was there and who I was, then I handed him the outline, which he went over. I told him, I was pretty much there for the letters. His only concern usually is with the hormone letter, but since I already had that, he said the others wouldn't be a problem. I went over some issues I was having still like with my parents not accepting me and my marriage ending. I also went over coming out at work, since I wanted to do that soon. He gave me a couple of pointers and agreed that my strategy sounded good.
So, how did this compare to my last therapy session, it was like night and day. The sessions with the old therapist were very formal and was me talking 98% of the time. With him, it was much more conversational. Words came much easier and I felt much more at ease. He wasn't just sitting back and saying "...and how do you feel about that?". In one session ($60), I'm getting my carry letter, Gender Marker change letter, and I have a plan for coming out at work. My old therapist was very resistant to me coming less often than weekly. He was like, "just call me if you need a session". I don't have to see him on a regular basis or anything and when I'm ready he'll write the surgery letter. Also, for the second letter, he'll refer me to somebody who will write the second one without having to get to know me. He figures that if you've already gone through hormones and RLT and all that, then you would most likely be pretty sure of yourself at that point.
So, now it's fullspeed ahead with transition. No brakes from this point forwards. I mentally and physically ready and once I am logistically ready, then it's fulltime. I just need to prepare my "coming out" package for HR and schedule to meet with them as soon as possible.
Melissa
Beforehand, I had typed up a 3 page outline about my history and that came in useful. I wanted to make sure I was able to talk about everything. I had made an appointment with him using my best female voice, so I'm not sure what he was expecting. When I got there, he said that until he noticed me up close, he thought I was already female, so that answers that question about how other perceive me from a distance.
I told him about why I was there and who I was, then I handed him the outline, which he went over. I told him, I was pretty much there for the letters. His only concern usually is with the hormone letter, but since I already had that, he said the others wouldn't be a problem. I went over some issues I was having still like with my parents not accepting me and my marriage ending. I also went over coming out at work, since I wanted to do that soon. He gave me a couple of pointers and agreed that my strategy sounded good.
So, how did this compare to my last therapy session, it was like night and day. The sessions with the old therapist were very formal and was me talking 98% of the time. With him, it was much more conversational. Words came much easier and I felt much more at ease. He wasn't just sitting back and saying "...and how do you feel about that?". In one session ($60), I'm getting my carry letter, Gender Marker change letter, and I have a plan for coming out at work. My old therapist was very resistant to me coming less often than weekly. He was like, "just call me if you need a session". I don't have to see him on a regular basis or anything and when I'm ready he'll write the surgery letter. Also, for the second letter, he'll refer me to somebody who will write the second one without having to get to know me. He figures that if you've already gone through hormones and RLT and all that, then you would most likely be pretty sure of yourself at that point.
So, now it's fullspeed ahead with transition. No brakes from this point forwards. I mentally and physically ready and once I am logistically ready, then it's fulltime. I just need to prepare my "coming out" package for HR and schedule to meet with them as soon as possible.
Melissa
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Kate on June 15, 2006, 10:55:54 PM
Post by: Kate on June 15, 2006, 10:55:54 PM
Congrats, Melissa! That's great news. I'm glad things are going so smoothly!
I'm really enjoying reading and watching your story progress... I know you've had incredibly painful moments, but sometimes it seems like a dream unfolding, like once you really knew and decided to DO it, the world just started opening up for you...
I'm really enjoying reading and watching your story progress... I know you've had incredibly painful moments, but sometimes it seems like a dream unfolding, like once you really knew and decided to DO it, the world just started opening up for you...
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:58:22 PM
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:58:22 PM
Quote from: Kate on June 15, 2006, 10:55:54 PM
Congrats, Melissa! That's great news. I'm glad things are going so smoothly!
I'm really enjoying reading and watching your story progress... I know you've had incredibly painful moments, but sometimes it seems like a dream unfolding, like once you really knew and decided to DO it, the world just started opening up for you...
Thanks Kate. It really is like a dream unfolding, but I get to really live it. It really does feel like I just keep having doors open in front of me, like it was meant to be. The trick is, what may look like a cliff on one side is really an important door.
Melissa
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Kate on June 15, 2006, 11:02:34 PM
Post by: Kate on June 15, 2006, 11:02:34 PM
Quote from: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 10:58:22 PMThe trick is, what may look like a cliff on one side is really an important
Wise AND beautiful...
Watch out world, here she comes :)
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 11:23:06 PM
Post by: Melissa on June 15, 2006, 11:23:06 PM
:icon_redface:
Thanks Kate.
Melissa
Posted at: June 15, 2006, 09:04:45 PM
I forgot to mention a couple things:
When I told him I was trying to present as male, he laughed, because I guess I was doing a poor job at it.
Also, he was actually taller than me, which surprised me for an FTM.
Melissa
Thanks Kate.
Melissa
Posted at: June 15, 2006, 09:04:45 PM
I forgot to mention a couple things:
When I told him I was trying to present as male, he laughed, because I guess I was doing a poor job at it.
Also, he was actually taller than me, which surprised me for an FTM.
Melissa
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: heatherrose on June 16, 2006, 03:19:11 AM
Post by: heatherrose on June 16, 2006, 03:19:11 AM
I am so glad for you Melissa, I hope I will be able to find a decent therepist, without the emotional or financial cost of having to wade through the duds.
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Melissa on June 16, 2006, 08:04:44 AM
Post by: Melissa on June 16, 2006, 08:04:44 AM
Quote from: heatherrose on June 16, 2006, 03:19:11 AMI am so glad for you Melissa, I hope will be able to find a decent therepist, without the emotional or financial cost of having to wade through the duds.
As I said in a different topic, look for somebody who offers a sliding scale. This will reduce your cost and it shows they are less interested in the money than you.
Melissa
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Chynna on June 16, 2006, 09:35:52 AM
Post by: Chynna on June 16, 2006, 09:35:52 AM
Congratulations!
Lets do lunch when you become fulltime!!
On you of course..afterall your the one with all the letters!
I wrote a letter once
Chynna
Lets do lunch when you become fulltime!!
On you of course..afterall your the one with all the letters!
I wrote a letter once
Chynna
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Melissa on June 16, 2006, 09:52:13 AM
Post by: Melissa on June 16, 2006, 09:52:13 AM
I would Chynna, but your way across the country. If you want to travel over here, I'll cover lunch. :)
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: My new therapist
Post by: Sandi on June 16, 2006, 10:32:07 AM
Post by: Sandi on June 16, 2006, 10:32:07 AM
Glad you found a better therapist. It is my opinion that those to don't like transgender therapists have not found a good one.
I felt like I lost a friend when my therapist told my I was well adjusted and didn't need more visits. Actually I suppose that we are friends of sorts, and occasionally when we meet in public we stop and chat for a minute or two (although generally not TS related).
I felt like I lost a friend when my therapist told my I was well adjusted and didn't need more visits. Actually I suppose that we are friends of sorts, and occasionally when we meet in public we stop and chat for a minute or two (although generally not TS related).