Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM
Wow... the caffeine LOL...
OK... another question for you all...
But first a lead up....
I get SO excited when I have small successes...
When I loose an inch in my waist...
Or I see Amanda in the mirror more and more...
Or I get called Ms at the Mc Donalds drive up without trying...
Or when my bra is too tight...
And the first thing I want to do is share with someone...
And I come here to susans...
I come to see my friends...
And I share some of them...
But I don't a lot of times...
Because I don't want anyone to think I'm gloating...
Or that I think I'm prettier...
Or that I think I'm ->-bleeped-<--er...
Because that's not ME at all...
I never seek the spotlight...
I'm the girl in the corner...
I would NEVER dream of posting anything for that reason...
All I want to do is share a small success...
It feels good...
It makes me happy...
No matter how small it is...
It's one small step at a time...
We all know that...
And I know others have told me the same thing...
Their intent is pure like mine...
But they hesitate to post things as well...
But I want to hear about others success too...
I want to hear when you pass...
I want to hear about your weight loss...
I want to hear about your bra shopping trips...
I want to hear yours more than mine...
But it goes further than that...
Much further than want really...
It's need...
I need to hear of your success...
Because that gives me hope...
And that's what this is all about...
Hope that we can make it...
Hope we can be "that" girl...
Hope that we can finally be ourselves...
Is it bad to want to share those successes?
Should we hesitate?
Can we ever feel good about sharing?
Amanda
OK... another question for you all...
But first a lead up....
I get SO excited when I have small successes...
When I loose an inch in my waist...
Or I see Amanda in the mirror more and more...
Or I get called Ms at the Mc Donalds drive up without trying...
Or when my bra is too tight...
And the first thing I want to do is share with someone...
And I come here to susans...
I come to see my friends...
And I share some of them...
But I don't a lot of times...
Because I don't want anyone to think I'm gloating...
Or that I think I'm prettier...
Or that I think I'm ->-bleeped-<--er...
Because that's not ME at all...
I never seek the spotlight...
I'm the girl in the corner...
I would NEVER dream of posting anything for that reason...
All I want to do is share a small success...
It feels good...
It makes me happy...
No matter how small it is...
It's one small step at a time...
We all know that...
And I know others have told me the same thing...
Their intent is pure like mine...
But they hesitate to post things as well...
But I want to hear about others success too...
I want to hear when you pass...
I want to hear about your weight loss...
I want to hear about your bra shopping trips...
I want to hear yours more than mine...
But it goes further than that...
Much further than want really...
It's need...
I need to hear of your success...
Because that gives me hope...
And that's what this is all about...
Hope that we can make it...
Hope we can be "that" girl...
Hope that we can finally be ourselves...
Is it bad to want to share those successes?
Should we hesitate?
Can we ever feel good about sharing?
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Nero on May 15, 2008, 02:42:04 PM
Post by: Nero on May 15, 2008, 02:42:04 PM
Of course you should! While I didn't get excited about girl milestones growing up (obviously), I remember hearing the girls go on about in school, about developing and clothes, and getting noticed, etc.
Think you girls are just late bloomers. :)
Think you girls are just late bloomers. :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Rachael on May 15, 2008, 02:42:12 PM
Post by: Rachael on May 15, 2008, 02:42:12 PM
go you amanda....
too many here use those things as justification to slap people down when they want to share happyness...
if i had a good photograph and posted it, id do that because i was proud of how i looked. Not because i wanted to put someone else down.
maybe those who try so hard to be offended, or see the worst in others, and make excuses to kick up a fuss should grow some self esteem.
R >:D
too many here use those things as justification to slap people down when they want to share happyness...
if i had a good photograph and posted it, id do that because i was proud of how i looked. Not because i wanted to put someone else down.
maybe those who try so hard to be offended, or see the worst in others, and make excuses to kick up a fuss should grow some self esteem.
R >:D
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: rozenmaiden on May 15, 2008, 02:44:48 PM
Post by: rozenmaiden on May 15, 2008, 02:44:48 PM
i know what u mean about
being called 'miss'. i'll never
forget that first time when
a complete stranger called
me that. sure it was not a
big deal to most people, but
it meant the world to me.
regardless how big or small
the accomplishments may be,
i think it is healthy to share
our success. finally getting
over the hump is a good
thing. we're all in this
together. :-*
being called 'miss'. i'll never
forget that first time when
a complete stranger called
me that. sure it was not a
big deal to most people, but
it meant the world to me.
regardless how big or small
the accomplishments may be,
i think it is healthy to share
our success. finally getting
over the hump is a good
thing. we're all in this
together. :-*
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Nero on May 15, 2008, 02:44:59 PM
Post by: Nero on May 15, 2008, 02:44:59 PM
Quote from: Rachael on May 15, 2008, 02:42:12 PM
go you amanda....
too many here use those things as justification to slap people down when they want to share happyness...
if i had a good photograph and posted it, id do that because i was proud of how i looked. Not because i wanted to put someone else down.
maybe those who try so hard to be offended, or see the worst in others, and make excuses to kick up a fuss should grow some self esteem.
R >:D
yep and there are always girls who'll be jealous and talk ->-bleeped-<- whether you're in high school or beyond.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: gina on May 15, 2008, 02:50:23 PM
Post by: gina on May 15, 2008, 02:50:23 PM
Yes without a doubt....thats what makes a support forum. Its a two way street..the good as well as the bad. :icon_yes:
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Moira Midnigh on May 15, 2008, 03:00:48 PM
Post by: Moira Midnigh on May 15, 2008, 03:00:48 PM
I, for my part, don't make a lot of huge steps...
But I do feel like sharing if something good happened today and...often! Just because I get so lifted when I hear about the successes of other's, I want to share mine too.
But I don't want to make a new thread every time, so maybe we should make a thread dedicated to small victories?
I'll share one here.
Tuesday, I was distracted, my mind was elsewhere, as I noticed when was dancing with a friend of mine (we go to salsa regularly. I dance as male, obviously, but we have tried to switch. She's rubbish at leading, and it doesn't help her that I'm taller either) so I went to the window to take a breather (and oh my gawd, it was hot too) and she comes over after a little while, just when I had figured out what was taking up so much of my mind.
So I say no, I'm just...really...really...can't think of what to wear to pick up my friend from Finland Saturday.
And she goes all = / and says, that's what girls think about!
And then she went on about how I would look good in anything and all, but I didn't really hear much after the first part there ^^
~Moi
But I do feel like sharing if something good happened today and...often! Just because I get so lifted when I hear about the successes of other's, I want to share mine too.
But I don't want to make a new thread every time, so maybe we should make a thread dedicated to small victories?
I'll share one here.
Tuesday, I was distracted, my mind was elsewhere, as I noticed when was dancing with a friend of mine (we go to salsa regularly. I dance as male, obviously, but we have tried to switch. She's rubbish at leading, and it doesn't help her that I'm taller either) so I went to the window to take a breather (and oh my gawd, it was hot too) and she comes over after a little while, just when I had figured out what was taking up so much of my mind.
So I say no, I'm just...really...really...can't think of what to wear to pick up my friend from Finland Saturday.
And she goes all = / and says, that's what girls think about!
And then she went on about how I would look good in anything and all, but I didn't really hear much after the first part there ^^
~Moi
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 15, 2008, 03:07:19 PM
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 15, 2008, 03:07:19 PM
Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 02:36:48 PM
I need to hear of your success...
Because that gives me hope...
And that's what this is all about...
Hope that we can make it...
Hope we can be "that" girl...
Hope that we can finally be ourselves...
Um ... yes. That pretty much says it. :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: soldierjane on May 15, 2008, 03:39:17 PM
Post by: soldierjane on May 15, 2008, 03:39:17 PM
Not at all Amanda, I feel that if you want to share something with the forum you should and forget about what people might think. That's how friendships are made, right? Being PC and distant defeats the purpose of actually connecting with someone.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: NicholeW. on May 15, 2008, 04:08:33 PM
Post by: NicholeW. on May 15, 2008, 04:08:33 PM
Why shouldn't you, or anyone else share their milestones and their happinesses?
I would also suggest that we all try to remember that different people are in different stages of transition around here.
Some are just starting, others have been living as themselves for years, others about to get GRS/GCS/SRS (whatever) and others are long post-op: not everyone is going to see a major success when someone has one. We either haven't gotten there yet or had that particular success years ago.
That not everyone is going to be excited for me when I write about being "ma'am-ed" "miss-ed" or "hey, woman-ed" :laugh: or when I find a boyfriend, girlfriend, start hormones, have GRS, get FFS, go to a large rally for LBGT, or enter or graduate college, do a drag show, or fly in a hot-air balloon seems reasonable enough.
Not everyone is going to be interested and some of the folks here have done many of those things long before many of us had even admitted to ourselves who and what we are.
Diff'rent strokes.
I see posters get upset because no one replies to their posts, or everyone replies to their posts, or not enough or too many people reply to their posts. *sigh*
Sometimes it's just hard to balance everything. ;)
I'll be honest, Amanda, some of your threads I absolutely love and find incredibly insightful, timely and just plain good. Others, I just cannot summon a reason to reply to. And I know people feel that way about mine, Nero's Cindy's, Tink's .... whomever.
It all washes out over time.
How many times do we see an old thread that managed to have two posts after the OP get resucitated months, sometimes even years, later because someone ran across it and replied and then the thread just takes off?
For every negative comment you've ever received here, I would bet you've had 25 or 100 positive ones. Right? :)
I know though, sometimes that one negative can gain a weight that the thirty positive ones cannot seem to balance.
Hugs,
Nichole
I would also suggest that we all try to remember that different people are in different stages of transition around here.
Some are just starting, others have been living as themselves for years, others about to get GRS/GCS/SRS (whatever) and others are long post-op: not everyone is going to see a major success when someone has one. We either haven't gotten there yet or had that particular success years ago.
That not everyone is going to be excited for me when I write about being "ma'am-ed" "miss-ed" or "hey, woman-ed" :laugh: or when I find a boyfriend, girlfriend, start hormones, have GRS, get FFS, go to a large rally for LBGT, or enter or graduate college, do a drag show, or fly in a hot-air balloon seems reasonable enough.
Not everyone is going to be interested and some of the folks here have done many of those things long before many of us had even admitted to ourselves who and what we are.
Diff'rent strokes.
I see posters get upset because no one replies to their posts, or everyone replies to their posts, or not enough or too many people reply to their posts. *sigh*
Sometimes it's just hard to balance everything. ;)
I'll be honest, Amanda, some of your threads I absolutely love and find incredibly insightful, timely and just plain good. Others, I just cannot summon a reason to reply to. And I know people feel that way about mine, Nero's Cindy's, Tink's .... whomever.
It all washes out over time.
How many times do we see an old thread that managed to have two posts after the OP get resucitated months, sometimes even years, later because someone ran across it and replied and then the thread just takes off?
For every negative comment you've ever received here, I would bet you've had 25 or 100 positive ones. Right? :)
I know though, sometimes that one negative can gain a weight that the thirty positive ones cannot seem to balance.
Hugs,
Nichole
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Eva Marie on May 15, 2008, 04:14:19 PM
Post by: Eva Marie on May 15, 2008, 04:14:19 PM
Amanda - post away! I always find your threads interesting. A good thing/happening/event is something to be excited about and to share.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 05:53:07 PM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 05:53:07 PM
Sorry...
I post like this...
Well...
Random thoughts I guess...
Otherwise it turns into one big quagmire...
Thank you Nero...
We are late bloomers...
But I guess that is to be expected...
Do we like to be noticed? ....
Of course we do...
We are girls...
Rachael my dear...
You are such a sweet girl...
You play with guns...
But that is OK...
More than OK really...
I think that's cool...
You have GREAT photographs...
I'm always happy to see them...
But you should share more...
You are so pretty...
Rozenmaiden you are SO right...
We ARE all in this together...
Stronger together...
Weak alone...
Nero you're right too...
Girls will be girls...
But we should be happy for each other...
Not tear each other down...
Gina...
A bright star...
Support... Absolutely...
Yes... that is what we are here for...
Moi... You are such a girl...
Thinking of what to wear...
I do that too...
And then I change...
But that's OK...
It's our right no? ...
I would have stopped listening too...
Good for you...
And yes... one thread is fine...
Something wonderful today...
Was that the purpose?....
I don't know...
Alyssa the climber...
Thank you...
I would gladly climb with you...
Climbing makes you feel alive...
Because you are so close to death...
I've been there...
Jane...
I hope thats correct...
You're right of course...
And I will...
We should not be distant...
That was how we were before...
And that never worked...
And Nichole...
O great one...
A wise word is never wasted...
And you waste few...
A point made excellent...
We are all at different places...
I'm sure me losing an inch is ho-hum...
I do get that...
And I don't care if people respond to my posts...
I LOVE that they do...
But writing them is enough...
And some of them...
It helps more than I can tell you...
And no responses...
No one should be upset...
You see...
I read a lot of posts...
No...
I read EVERY post....
But I don't add something just becuase...
I have to have something...
Something of value to add...
Otherwise I'm just talking...
And you are right Nichole...
The negatives are few...
But those are the ones that pierce...
That you carry...
Long after they are said...
You are kind Nichole...
Thanks for being here...
And everyone else too...
Thank you...
Riven... thank you...
I'll try not to bore you...
I'll keep it interesting...
Thank you Crécerelle...
There are no little people here...
Not at all...
We are all equals...
But here's the real story...
The reason I posted...
You see...
ICQ is a wonderful thing...
But it is anonymous...
And that is good...
And that is bad...
And someone rang me up...
And said some things...
Not happy things...
It's OK really...
I'm a big girl...
I think...
But it made me think...
Should I post anything? ...
Or everything? ...
Ever again? ...
Should I run?...
I wanted to...
I am fragile...
And things hurt...
I'm feeling my way along...
It's a dark tunnel...
But I know I can make it...
As long as I'm here...
And I read this thread...
And it made me feel better...
So I stay...
Maybe they were jealous...
Or hurt...
Or just bad people...
But I chose to ignore their harsh words...
And I chose everything...
I will share it all...
And please remember...
I don't post here for any reason...
Other than I need you all...
I need to hear your success...
I need you to hear mine...
Not as my ICQ friend said...
Because I'm prettier...
Or because I'm skinnier...
Or I love my wife more...
Or I make more friends...
No...
I post here...
Because it helps...
Amanda
I post like this...
Well...
Random thoughts I guess...
Otherwise it turns into one big quagmire...
Thank you Nero...
We are late bloomers...
But I guess that is to be expected...
Do we like to be noticed? ....
Of course we do...
We are girls...
Rachael my dear...
You are such a sweet girl...
You play with guns...
But that is OK...
More than OK really...
I think that's cool...
You have GREAT photographs...
I'm always happy to see them...
But you should share more...
You are so pretty...
Rozenmaiden you are SO right...
We ARE all in this together...
Stronger together...
Weak alone...
Nero you're right too...
Girls will be girls...
But we should be happy for each other...
Not tear each other down...
Gina...
A bright star...
Support... Absolutely...
Yes... that is what we are here for...
Moi... You are such a girl...
Thinking of what to wear...
I do that too...
And then I change...
But that's OK...
It's our right no? ...
I would have stopped listening too...
Good for you...
And yes... one thread is fine...
Something wonderful today...
Was that the purpose?....
I don't know...
Alyssa the climber...
Thank you...
I would gladly climb with you...
Climbing makes you feel alive...
Because you are so close to death...
I've been there...
Jane...
I hope thats correct...
You're right of course...
And I will...
We should not be distant...
That was how we were before...
And that never worked...
And Nichole...
O great one...
A wise word is never wasted...
And you waste few...
A point made excellent...
We are all at different places...
I'm sure me losing an inch is ho-hum...
I do get that...
And I don't care if people respond to my posts...
I LOVE that they do...
But writing them is enough...
And some of them...
It helps more than I can tell you...
And no responses...
No one should be upset...
You see...
I read a lot of posts...
No...
I read EVERY post....
But I don't add something just becuase...
I have to have something...
Something of value to add...
Otherwise I'm just talking...
And you are right Nichole...
The negatives are few...
But those are the ones that pierce...
That you carry...
Long after they are said...
You are kind Nichole...
Thanks for being here...
And everyone else too...
Thank you...
Riven... thank you...
I'll try not to bore you...
I'll keep it interesting...
Thank you Crécerelle...
There are no little people here...
Not at all...
We are all equals...
But here's the real story...
The reason I posted...
You see...
ICQ is a wonderful thing...
But it is anonymous...
And that is good...
And that is bad...
And someone rang me up...
And said some things...
Not happy things...
It's OK really...
I'm a big girl...
I think...
But it made me think...
Should I post anything? ...
Or everything? ...
Ever again? ...
Should I run?...
I wanted to...
I am fragile...
And things hurt...
I'm feeling my way along...
It's a dark tunnel...
But I know I can make it...
As long as I'm here...
And I read this thread...
And it made me feel better...
So I stay...
Maybe they were jealous...
Or hurt...
Or just bad people...
But I chose to ignore their harsh words...
And I chose everything...
I will share it all...
And please remember...
I don't post here for any reason...
Other than I need you all...
I need to hear your success...
I need you to hear mine...
Not as my ICQ friend said...
Because I'm prettier...
Or because I'm skinnier...
Or I love my wife more...
Or I make more friends...
No...
I post here...
Because it helps...
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: MeghanAndrews on May 15, 2008, 05:58:33 PM
Post by: MeghanAndrews on May 15, 2008, 05:58:33 PM
Hi Amanda,
I don't post as much in the forums, I know, but I just wanted to tell you that I love your posts, you already know that though. I guess this kind of goes along with Nero's post (I think it was Nero, the 'are you straight up with peeps on here' post), do you consider posting things and then change your mind.
Yes, I do that all the time. Actually, this morning I posted two replies in the forums to threads that kind of got me in a mood, then I didn't post them. Lol, one of them I posted and then I deleted. Why? Because I don't feel like rocking the boat more than it already is. I mean really, so many people, they are who they are, they won't change. That's just the way it is. There are sooo many different personalities on here.
It's like a friend of mine says, so many trans people think that they should be friends with every other trans person or at least try to be when in reality, you would NEVER EVER be friends with them in real life. Maybe they just aren't the type of person you get along with, maybe they just don't get along with you, etc. The truth of the matter is that for most of us, the trans-experience is what we have in common. It isn't much else in the beginning. We come here under the guise of taking part in a community that has people going through similar things we are going through.
Many of us start here, grow here and ultimately mature like butterflies and maybe spend less time here or leave altogether. We take friendships with us and we leave behind those that we wouldn't have been friends with anyway. It's the natural cycle of a relationship I think. We attach ourselves to people we view as having a similar experience as us, then time will determine whether a friendship blossoms or fades away.
Amanda, I consider you a friend. Your posts always make me think. Although I don't reply to them all the time, they always make me think. I like that. I like hearing about your successes. I think you should revel in them, it's your life and we're here for you. Keep smiling, Meghan :)
I don't post as much in the forums, I know, but I just wanted to tell you that I love your posts, you already know that though. I guess this kind of goes along with Nero's post (I think it was Nero, the 'are you straight up with peeps on here' post), do you consider posting things and then change your mind.
Yes, I do that all the time. Actually, this morning I posted two replies in the forums to threads that kind of got me in a mood, then I didn't post them. Lol, one of them I posted and then I deleted. Why? Because I don't feel like rocking the boat more than it already is. I mean really, so many people, they are who they are, they won't change. That's just the way it is. There are sooo many different personalities on here.
It's like a friend of mine says, so many trans people think that they should be friends with every other trans person or at least try to be when in reality, you would NEVER EVER be friends with them in real life. Maybe they just aren't the type of person you get along with, maybe they just don't get along with you, etc. The truth of the matter is that for most of us, the trans-experience is what we have in common. It isn't much else in the beginning. We come here under the guise of taking part in a community that has people going through similar things we are going through.
Many of us start here, grow here and ultimately mature like butterflies and maybe spend less time here or leave altogether. We take friendships with us and we leave behind those that we wouldn't have been friends with anyway. It's the natural cycle of a relationship I think. We attach ourselves to people we view as having a similar experience as us, then time will determine whether a friendship blossoms or fades away.
Amanda, I consider you a friend. Your posts always make me think. Although I don't reply to them all the time, they always make me think. I like that. I like hearing about your successes. I think you should revel in them, it's your life and we're here for you. Keep smiling, Meghan :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: soldierjane on May 15, 2008, 06:04:28 PM
Post by: soldierjane on May 15, 2008, 06:04:28 PM
Amanda honey, it's not a crime to be happy. Everyone is happier and more sad than someone else, I think maybe your friend needs to start looking at how they can improve their own situation and rise, not pull you down.
*hugs*
*hugs*
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...
Amanda
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: deviousxen on May 15, 2008, 06:22:58 PM
Post by: deviousxen on May 15, 2008, 06:22:58 PM
My brain needs to let pressure out, even good pressure. So trust me. The day I have good stuff happen in contrast to this grey-organic paste called Connecticut, you'll be the first to hear it from me. I'm actually often afraid of overconfidence and a good mood, cause over doing it always makes me mess up somehow... Or fate just remembers I'm there, and flicks me over again.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Lori on May 15, 2008, 07:00:10 PM
Post by: Lori on May 15, 2008, 07:00:10 PM
Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...
Amanda
I hope you didn't go to explode somewhere. Are you sure its just caffeine?? LOL, I'm out of breath reading your posts. I love your posts, and a few others here as well. I hope you always share no matter how stupid and trivial it may seem to you. I have to say that there have been some recent posts that just totally blew me away and I feel like I actually belong for a change. Simple little things that I think about, do , have said, discussed or thought about have been brought up and I think its awesome.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: lacitychick21 on May 15, 2008, 07:16:54 PM
Post by: lacitychick21 on May 15, 2008, 07:16:54 PM
Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 15, 2008, 06:08:11 PM
Thanks Jane, Meghan...
I've got to run...
I'll respond to you later...
But I wanted to add one thing...
It occurred to me...
I'm not looking for sympathy...
That was not what this was about...
I just wanted to share...
Maybe we can share our bad things too...
Amanda
I think you have very good reason to feel the way you do. There's an impression, a mood of sorts, that seems to linger on TS forums but it may be something we're being hypersensitive to... something that may not really be there.
I'll admit, I totally know where you're coming from. When I transitioned into full-time I felt as if those little successes may come off as gloating on the forums, but I think I got that impression because, by and large, we all tend to feel the compulsion to post when something REALLY bothers us. So this 'ranting,' if you will, sort of perpetuates itself. It's almost as if I didn't want to post because "so and so" just came out to an unaccepting family, or "so and so" was 'sir'ed' again. I felt bad, almost guilty, for having these successes because the last thing I wanted to do is to make anybody feel worse.
But you know, if we don't post those successes, we're doing each other a disservice. You're right Amanda... I think it can give us all hope even if one or two people do accuse you of "gloating." You know you're not. If your "gloating" helps just one member's light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel seem just a little brighter...than dangit... I say gloat!
Thank you Amanda for bring up a wonderful point. I hope everyone shares ALL their successes from now on. I know I will do my best to.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: gina on May 15, 2008, 07:22:43 PM
Post by: gina on May 15, 2008, 07:22:43 PM
Amanda, I'm new but the little time I been here I find your post very interesting and from the soul... :) I'm very similar in many ways, so I'm sure there will be alot to share, . I do have to say I see a great bunch of people on this forum, and it makes being new alot easier to handle....So I say post and they will reply.... ;)
gina
gina
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: mickiejr1815 on May 15, 2008, 09:08:52 PM
Post by: mickiejr1815 on May 15, 2008, 09:08:52 PM
i would also like to say Amanda, that i thoroughly enjoy your posts as well. i love reading about everyone's successes, especially from the guys. i know it's even tougher for some of them i think. but when they get sirred i know exactly how they feel. any success is amazing...and i'm glad to read about it
will modify this later......
will modify this later......
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Sheena on May 15, 2008, 09:36:59 PM
Post by: Sheena on May 15, 2008, 09:36:59 PM
Amanda,
I love your posts and when I hear of your successes, and others as well, it brings a smile to my face. I catch a little of the excitement and happiness that your feeling. Do keep it up and feel good about it. :)
Sheena
I love your posts and when I hear of your successes, and others as well, it brings a smile to my face. I catch a little of the excitement and happiness that your feeling. Do keep it up and feel good about it. :)
Sheena
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Rei on May 15, 2008, 10:57:04 PM
Post by: Rei on May 15, 2008, 10:57:04 PM
Absolutely, you should share everything. The feelings you get from other's successes might just be the same they get from yours. Not sure if that sentence made sense. Oh well, you should tell us everything. I know I love to hear about other's successes and failures as a way to learn from them. Humanity needs community. We need your input just as much as you need ours.
-Rei
-Rei
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: tekla on May 16, 2008, 02:48:44 AM
Post by: tekla on May 16, 2008, 02:48:44 AM
People have differing needs, values, and reasons for posting what they do. Some people do want to post each and every thing, and for some people, they need to read that. I think there is a lot of reassurance in all that everyday stuff.
On the other hand, I have two sayings at work that I'm almost a legend (in my own mind) for:
I'm pleasantly ignorant about that - meaning, not only do I not know, but when you find out, do not come running back to tell me.
You can stop now, I'm professionally bored - meaning, its nice that you know what your doing. But I have other things to worry about and don't need to know that, any of it.
So, ya read what you can, reply as needed. I have a lot of posts, but most of them (80%) are single sentence replies to news items, more to let the girls who put that together know that someone is reading it. If I feel a need to say, then I do, if I must. But that's not saying that the stuff I don't reply to is not interesting, enlightening, or amusing, its just that I don't need to say anything, or someone else already did.
On the other hand, I have two sayings at work that I'm almost a legend (in my own mind) for:
I'm pleasantly ignorant about that - meaning, not only do I not know, but when you find out, do not come running back to tell me.
You can stop now, I'm professionally bored - meaning, its nice that you know what your doing. But I have other things to worry about and don't need to know that, any of it.
So, ya read what you can, reply as needed. I have a lot of posts, but most of them (80%) are single sentence replies to news items, more to let the girls who put that together know that someone is reading it. If I feel a need to say, then I do, if I must. But that's not saying that the stuff I don't reply to is not interesting, enlightening, or amusing, its just that I don't need to say anything, or someone else already did.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: noeleena on May 16, 2008, 04:17:13 AM
Post by: noeleena on May 16, 2008, 04:17:13 AM
hi....Amanda & to you others as well . ill use one word ....trust.... do we have this here well what i see . yes . there are some . how do you have in letting us have a insight in to your life & your wife s. .that takes trust i talk to others on other forums in the u k aust & here in n z most of us trust each other now .that has taken time you may ask am i real . well you can check on that as i have been on t v the net & papers so what do i have to lose nothing so have a look please go to google use my name noeleena Lochhead then have a read .then youll know yes i am a kiwi . then youll see thanks ...noeleena...
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Moira Midnigh on May 16, 2008, 04:55:05 AM
Post by: Moira Midnigh on May 16, 2008, 04:55:05 AM
I think it's natural for us to want to share our emotions, as Nero says.
Sometimes, true, you will make a post because you want attention. Sometimes, you'll make a post because you need to get something down on 'paper' and you don't really care if anyone reads it. Sometimes, you make a post for others, sometimes you make a post for yourself...sometimes, you want them to reply, and sometimes you hate it when they do.
Sometimes, you will read a post that makes you feel inadequate. Sometimes, you will read a post that gives you hope. Sometimes, you will let your feelings influence your reply and sometimes you will say what the person wants to hear and sometimes you will tell the truth...
In any case, the only thing that should keep you from posting is if it is something better left unsaid.
Like a hurtful comment, a piece of non-constructive criticism, something that no one needs or wants or likes to hear. I know that the truth can hurt, sometimes, but people need to hear it.
You post doesn't -have- to be constructive, fun, encouraging, truthful, important or anything at all. It just needs to be.
I, for one, would like to share a lot of things, and I would love to know what the stuff I share makes others feel.
But I'm rambling, of course.
My point is this!
You make a post because you feel like it. You can't know how people will react. Maybe they will care. Maybe they won't. What matter is that -you- care. And I am sure you have not been let down by the people here yet, when it comes to that. 'Cause my feeling is, they do.
So, all in all, practically what Tekla said, but I guess I needed a few more words to say it.
Share if you feel like it. Don't share if you don't feel like it. Let us decide whether we want to read it. Let us decide whether we want to care.
I truly enjoy reading about every single small victory that people have. I am really grateful that they trust me enough to let me in on their most personal thoughts and experiences.
But I want to hear the bad stuff as well, even though that it harder. It is always easy to say you're happy for someone. It's much harder to say you're sorry, and really mean it too. I think that takes a lot more trust, though, and some of it might be better kept for those truly close to you.
I appreciate beauty where I find it. Your thoughts are as beautiful as any, Amanda.
~Moi
Sometimes, true, you will make a post because you want attention. Sometimes, you'll make a post because you need to get something down on 'paper' and you don't really care if anyone reads it. Sometimes, you make a post for others, sometimes you make a post for yourself...sometimes, you want them to reply, and sometimes you hate it when they do.
Sometimes, you will read a post that makes you feel inadequate. Sometimes, you will read a post that gives you hope. Sometimes, you will let your feelings influence your reply and sometimes you will say what the person wants to hear and sometimes you will tell the truth...
In any case, the only thing that should keep you from posting is if it is something better left unsaid.
Like a hurtful comment, a piece of non-constructive criticism, something that no one needs or wants or likes to hear. I know that the truth can hurt, sometimes, but people need to hear it.
You post doesn't -have- to be constructive, fun, encouraging, truthful, important or anything at all. It just needs to be.
I, for one, would like to share a lot of things, and I would love to know what the stuff I share makes others feel.
But I'm rambling, of course.
My point is this!
You make a post because you feel like it. You can't know how people will react. Maybe they will care. Maybe they won't. What matter is that -you- care. And I am sure you have not been let down by the people here yet, when it comes to that. 'Cause my feeling is, they do.
So, all in all, practically what Tekla said, but I guess I needed a few more words to say it.
Share if you feel like it. Don't share if you don't feel like it. Let us decide whether we want to read it. Let us decide whether we want to care.
I truly enjoy reading about every single small victory that people have. I am really grateful that they trust me enough to let me in on their most personal thoughts and experiences.
But I want to hear the bad stuff as well, even though that it harder. It is always easy to say you're happy for someone. It's much harder to say you're sorry, and really mean it too. I think that takes a lot more trust, though, and some of it might be better kept for those truly close to you.
I appreciate beauty where I find it. Your thoughts are as beautiful as any, Amanda.
~Moi
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Shana A on May 16, 2008, 08:45:38 AM
Post by: Shana A on May 16, 2008, 08:45:38 AM
I don't respond to 90% of what I read here, but I do read and appreciate it all. When I think that something I can say from my own experiences might help someone else, I post it.
Occasionally I've posted my thoughts like writing in an online diary <ack, 1000s of people reading my deepest feelings :embarrassed: >, writing them out loud, so to speak, helps me sort out where I am with my feelings.
Share all you want Amanda!
Zythyra
Occasionally I've posted my thoughts like writing in an online diary <ack, 1000s of people reading my deepest feelings :embarrassed: >, writing them out loud, so to speak, helps me sort out where I am with my feelings.
Share all you want Amanda!
Zythyra
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Kate on May 16, 2008, 09:33:53 AM
Post by: Kate on May 16, 2008, 09:33:53 AM
Please keep sharing Amanda, both the good AND the bad!
When I first joined, it was reading about people's "successes" that probably saved my life. I really didn't think transitioning "worked" up until that point. I figured people were just deluding themselves, or growing a thick skin to deal with being a "man in a dress" to society. The concept that someone could transition and just be an ordinary woman was just too much to hope for.
But the more I read, the more I realized it was at least *possible*. Maybe not likely, but it was a CHANCE.
Of course, the horror stories (especially the news articles posts) scared the heck out of me too. But I felt I was finally able to have a realistic grasp of what I was getting myself into.
On the other hand, I feel bad about posting good news sometimes too. I worry it comes across as "gloating," and heck, maybe I am sometimes. But sometimes it's just so incredible, and it just bubbles out, you HAVE to share it, know what I mean?
The downside is I have a bad habit of insisting that because something worked for me, it'll work for everyone else too. The more I read, the more I realize my situation, experiences, goals and even motivations are somewhat unique... and I'd hate to think I led someone into a bad situation because of my arrogance :(
~Kate~
When I first joined, it was reading about people's "successes" that probably saved my life. I really didn't think transitioning "worked" up until that point. I figured people were just deluding themselves, or growing a thick skin to deal with being a "man in a dress" to society. The concept that someone could transition and just be an ordinary woman was just too much to hope for.
But the more I read, the more I realized it was at least *possible*. Maybe not likely, but it was a CHANCE.
Of course, the horror stories (especially the news articles posts) scared the heck out of me too. But I felt I was finally able to have a realistic grasp of what I was getting myself into.
On the other hand, I feel bad about posting good news sometimes too. I worry it comes across as "gloating," and heck, maybe I am sometimes. But sometimes it's just so incredible, and it just bubbles out, you HAVE to share it, know what I mean?
The downside is I have a bad habit of insisting that because something worked for me, it'll work for everyone else too. The more I read, the more I realize my situation, experiences, goals and even motivations are somewhat unique... and I'd hate to think I led someone into a bad situation because of my arrogance :(
~Kate~
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 01:22:05 PM
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 01:22:05 PM
A very interesting thread Amanda and I can clearly see that you speak from the depths of your soul and from your heart. I recall just recently that you contemplated leaving us due a crisis of confidence and yet you stayed with us.
We are immensly fortunate to have someone with the writing skills that you possess. When I read your opening lines last night, I suffered because I had very little sleep owing to my mind being put through a wormhole of emotion and self examination. It was long overdue and I honestly believe that I have benefited from it.
Today, whilst doing my face before going out for my weekend shop, I saw a new Jennifer in the mirror. A combination of light, angles and reflection in the mirror presented me with an image of a woman that I would chase down and beg at her toes for friendship if I were a man, it stunned me to the extent that I messed up my eyeliner and I forget to swap my slippers for shoes when I stepped outside :embarrassed:.
This is what could be what you spoke of, one of those little victories that make transition so worthwhile. Heaven knows we need those triumphs when we so often suffer ignorance and hostility because we seek to live as we feel.
Today I had a good day, I feel honoured to be able to share it with you Amanda and to all of you reading this i say ' Keep the faith, you are doing the right thing and never let anyone tel you otherwise'. :)
We are immensly fortunate to have someone with the writing skills that you possess. When I read your opening lines last night, I suffered because I had very little sleep owing to my mind being put through a wormhole of emotion and self examination. It was long overdue and I honestly believe that I have benefited from it.
Today, whilst doing my face before going out for my weekend shop, I saw a new Jennifer in the mirror. A combination of light, angles and reflection in the mirror presented me with an image of a woman that I would chase down and beg at her toes for friendship if I were a man, it stunned me to the extent that I messed up my eyeliner and I forget to swap my slippers for shoes when I stepped outside :embarrassed:.
This is what could be what you spoke of, one of those little victories that make transition so worthwhile. Heaven knows we need those triumphs when we so often suffer ignorance and hostility because we seek to live as we feel.
Today I had a good day, I feel honoured to be able to share it with you Amanda and to all of you reading this i say ' Keep the faith, you are doing the right thing and never let anyone tel you otherwise'. :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 16, 2008, 01:59:37 PM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 16, 2008, 01:59:37 PM
I stole this format from someone...
I can't remember who...
I thought it unique...
Who ever you are...
Thank you for letting me use it...
It works well sometimes...
But now I'm ready...
For complete sentences...
But not just yet...
Yesterday was a bad day...
And it carried over...
But you all know how that is...
These feelings are not new to many of you...
But their new to me...
But you all know that too...
And I'm coping...
Or trying to...
And then I posted about my childhood...
About my parents...
That was bad...
I need not go there...
It always makes me sad...
But that's not all...
The things that were said by my ICQ friend...
They hurt...
And hurt sets off a chain reaction...
And ends up with...
Why am I doing this...
I don't have a choice of course...
Meghan...
You have a heart of gold...
You need not post all that...
It can be unsaid...
Because I feel it from you...
You are my friend too...
I agree too...
There are people we might not be friends with...
Other than here...
But that's OK...
Because we need each other...
Thank you Meghan...
For just being you...
Your words always brighten my day...
Jane... you're right...
Happiness is not a crime...
It just feels like it should be sometimes...
But I'll try not to let them get me...
Lori... I did not explode...
I wanted too...
As usual you and everyone knows...
That of course it's not just the caffeine...
It's hormones...
It's my ICQ friend...
Thank you Lori for reading my posts...
And you feel like you belong? ...
That makes me smile...
Thinking I might have played a small part...
That makes all this worthwhile really...
Deviousxen, I can't wait...
To hear the good stuff from you...
I'm going to be watching for it...
And I won't forget... mom...
lacitychick21...
Or is it just chick?...
Your not just a pretty face...
And pretty it is...
No... you have wisdom beyond your years...
Meghan is lucky to have you around...
And you are lucky too..
I'm glad you joined susans...
I just wish I knew your name...
Because lacitychick21...
Seems so impersonal...
And you seem so personal...
You should share your successes...
I want to hear them...
From this thread...
I think i can speak for others...
We all want to hear them...
Gina, please do post...
I like what you say...
You're fun...
And yes... it comes from the soul...
Things I've wanted to say...
Things I needed to say...
It all comes out now...
Mickie... thank you...
I want to hear yours too...
Sheena... you make me smile...
When you feel my excitement...
That's cool...
Rei...
It made sense...
And yes, you are right...
It's hard to see how I affect others...
And I know how I affected my ICQ friend...
Not good I assume...
But thanks...
Tekla... me too...
I'm pleasantly ignorant about that...
I've used that before...
Not in so many words...
So yea... I totally get what you're saying...
And you have a lot of good posts...
Don't sell your self short...
I don't...
It does take trust...
Noeleena...
I googled you...
A whole page of results...
Wow...
And you are famous...
And real...
And here for us...
Thank you...
I do trust you...
And I trust all of you...
Moi... yes, yes and yes...
I agree with all that you say...
But I have to disagree...
On one thing...
My thoughts are only half as beautiful...
As yours Moi...
Thank you...
And Thank you Zythyra...
I'll will share...
Dear Kate...
I can't thank you enough...
For just being here...
You know I don't want to...
Be the man in the dress...
That would be bad...
But there is one thing I've NEVER thought...
That you were arrogant...
But I'll keep that in mind...
That you are unique...
Because you really are...
Jennifer... the writing...
It's no skill..
It just comes out...
From the heart...
Good or bad...
I can't tell...
But it's things...
Things I could only dream of saying...
Before...
Like...
I love you Jennifer...
For sharing that little victory...
Letting me be a part...
Today is a good day...
And I will keep the faith...
And thank you for letting me smile...
Thank you all...
I hope I got everyone...
If I did not it was not a slight...
I feel closer to you...
I hope you can feel closer to me...
I'm sorry...
I need you girls now...
But I don't want to be a burden...
So one last thing...
Prom dresses...
That's what I talked about this morning...
With a client...
For over an hour...
Her daughter was going to the prom tonight...
And we talked about her prom dress...
She just knew...
Somehow...
That I would be interested...
That was awesome...
It reminded me of who I am...
No...
What I am...
Female...
And...
That is my small success of the day...
I love my life
Amanda
P.S. Thank you Meghan for that wonderful closing sentiment.
I can't remember who...
I thought it unique...
Who ever you are...
Thank you for letting me use it...
It works well sometimes...
But now I'm ready...
For complete sentences...
But not just yet...
Yesterday was a bad day...
And it carried over...
But you all know how that is...
These feelings are not new to many of you...
But their new to me...
But you all know that too...
And I'm coping...
Or trying to...
And then I posted about my childhood...
About my parents...
That was bad...
I need not go there...
It always makes me sad...
But that's not all...
The things that were said by my ICQ friend...
They hurt...
And hurt sets off a chain reaction...
And ends up with...
Why am I doing this...
I don't have a choice of course...
Meghan...
You have a heart of gold...
You need not post all that...
It can be unsaid...
Because I feel it from you...
You are my friend too...
I agree too...
There are people we might not be friends with...
Other than here...
But that's OK...
Because we need each other...
Thank you Meghan...
For just being you...
Your words always brighten my day...
Jane... you're right...
Happiness is not a crime...
It just feels like it should be sometimes...
But I'll try not to let them get me...
Lori... I did not explode...
I wanted too...
As usual you and everyone knows...
That of course it's not just the caffeine...
It's hormones...
It's my ICQ friend...
Thank you Lori for reading my posts...
And you feel like you belong? ...
That makes me smile...
Thinking I might have played a small part...
That makes all this worthwhile really...
Deviousxen, I can't wait...
To hear the good stuff from you...
I'm going to be watching for it...
And I won't forget... mom...
lacitychick21...
Or is it just chick?...
Your not just a pretty face...
And pretty it is...
No... you have wisdom beyond your years...
Meghan is lucky to have you around...
And you are lucky too..
I'm glad you joined susans...
I just wish I knew your name...
Because lacitychick21...
Seems so impersonal...
And you seem so personal...
You should share your successes...
I want to hear them...
From this thread...
I think i can speak for others...
We all want to hear them...
Gina, please do post...
I like what you say...
You're fun...
And yes... it comes from the soul...
Things I've wanted to say...
Things I needed to say...
It all comes out now...
Mickie... thank you...
I want to hear yours too...
Sheena... you make me smile...
When you feel my excitement...
That's cool...
Rei...
It made sense...
And yes, you are right...
It's hard to see how I affect others...
And I know how I affected my ICQ friend...
Not good I assume...
But thanks...
Tekla... me too...
I'm pleasantly ignorant about that...
I've used that before...
Not in so many words...
So yea... I totally get what you're saying...
And you have a lot of good posts...
Don't sell your self short...
I don't...
It does take trust...
Noeleena...
I googled you...
A whole page of results...
Wow...
And you are famous...
And real...
And here for us...
Thank you...
I do trust you...
And I trust all of you...
Moi... yes, yes and yes...
I agree with all that you say...
But I have to disagree...
On one thing...
My thoughts are only half as beautiful...
As yours Moi...
Thank you...
And Thank you Zythyra...
I'll will share...
Dear Kate...
I can't thank you enough...
For just being here...
You know I don't want to...
Be the man in the dress...
That would be bad...
But there is one thing I've NEVER thought...
That you were arrogant...
But I'll keep that in mind...
That you are unique...
Because you really are...
Jennifer... the writing...
It's no skill..
It just comes out...
From the heart...
Good or bad...
I can't tell...
But it's things...
Things I could only dream of saying...
Before...
Like...
I love you Jennifer...
For sharing that little victory...
Letting me be a part...
Today is a good day...
And I will keep the faith...
And thank you for letting me smile...
Thank you all...
I hope I got everyone...
If I did not it was not a slight...
I feel closer to you...
I hope you can feel closer to me...
I'm sorry...
I need you girls now...
But I don't want to be a burden...
So one last thing...
Prom dresses...
That's what I talked about this morning...
With a client...
For over an hour...
Her daughter was going to the prom tonight...
And we talked about her prom dress...
She just knew...
Somehow...
That I would be interested...
That was awesome...
It reminded me of who I am...
No...
What I am...
Female...
And...
That is my small success of the day...
I love my life
Amanda
P.S. Thank you Meghan for that wonderful closing sentiment.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 02:30:14 PM
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 02:30:14 PM
AMANDA,
Just wonderful. :angel: I have a neighbour, she is stunning, if I were a man I would give her my life and her babies but she is also the last woman I would consider feminine. She is what we Brits call a 'TOMBOY' forever wearing jeans and T shirt and training shoes. She is also a mother of 7 children and I can understand why because she is one of those women that devotes her life to children.
Anyway, she came to me recently because she was invited to a function where she would not know many people if at all, she wanted to reaquaint herself with what is good wiith female fashion and she confessed that I seemed to know more on this than she did. :icon_eek: She asked me to go shopping with her to choose clothes..... :angel:.......that moment gave me such a boost I almost cried. A woman asking me how to dress for a function where women needed to be 'traditionally dressed' etc? One could not have expected this situation when starting out on the road of transition but the feeling that followed being asked for advice was wonderous.
Transition is a fantastic journey, it is rough, riddled with hazards, it places ones senses at their peek and often becomes an ordeal but the outcome is perhaps best illustrated by the same transition process as that of a Caterpiller into a Butterfly. Utterly wonderous and I cant wait for the day when I finally awake from surgury knowing that all trace of my male identity has been dealt with :)
QuoteSo one last thing...
Prom dresses...
That's what I talked about this morning...
With a client...
For over an hour...
Her daughter was going to the prom tonight...
And we talked about her prom dress...
She just knew...
Somehow...
That I would be interested...
That was awesome...
It reminded me of who I am...
No...
What I am...
Female...
Just wonderful. :angel: I have a neighbour, she is stunning, if I were a man I would give her my life and her babies but she is also the last woman I would consider feminine. She is what we Brits call a 'TOMBOY' forever wearing jeans and T shirt and training shoes. She is also a mother of 7 children and I can understand why because she is one of those women that devotes her life to children.
Anyway, she came to me recently because she was invited to a function where she would not know many people if at all, she wanted to reaquaint herself with what is good wiith female fashion and she confessed that I seemed to know more on this than she did. :icon_eek: She asked me to go shopping with her to choose clothes..... :angel:.......that moment gave me such a boost I almost cried. A woman asking me how to dress for a function where women needed to be 'traditionally dressed' etc? One could not have expected this situation when starting out on the road of transition but the feeling that followed being asked for advice was wonderous.
Transition is a fantastic journey, it is rough, riddled with hazards, it places ones senses at their peek and often becomes an ordeal but the outcome is perhaps best illustrated by the same transition process as that of a Caterpiller into a Butterfly. Utterly wonderous and I cant wait for the day when I finally awake from surgury knowing that all trace of my male identity has been dealt with :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 16, 2008, 02:35:19 PM
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 16, 2008, 02:35:19 PM
Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 16, 2008, 01:59:37 PM
I stole this format from someone...
I can't remember who...
I thought it unique...
Who ever you are...
Thank you for letting me use it...
I think you have Sara(h) in mind. (She uses the "h" only in her profile name.)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 16, 2008, 02:51:52 PM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 16, 2008, 02:51:52 PM
That is an awesome feeling I bet Jennifer... I'm happy for you.
Thanks Alyssa and thank you Sara, I hope you don't mind sharing.
Amanda
Thanks Alyssa and thank you Sara, I hope you don't mind sharing.
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 03:29:09 PM
Post by: JENNIFER on May 16, 2008, 03:29:09 PM
Quote from: AlwaysAmanda on May 16, 2008, 02:51:52 PM
That is an awesome feeling I bet Jennifer... I'm happy for you.
Thanks Alyssa and thank you Sara, I hope you don't mind sharing.
Amanda
AWESOME? Yes, I guess that it is and it is one that will come to you when you least expect it, I am always stirred when a new experience comes my way and it because I project a female persona....just wonderful , it will come to you Amanda just dont expect it on demand, nature is a wonderful beast and has our best interests at heart.
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: gina on May 16, 2008, 07:48:40 PM
Post by: gina on May 16, 2008, 07:48:40 PM
Thanks for sharing girls....Jennifer may that feeling you had today stay foever...(hug)
And Amanda I'm sure you picked a Prom Dress that some girls could only dream about, but never have...(hug)...Congratulations to you both.. :icon_flower:
gina
And Amanda I'm sure you picked a Prom Dress that some girls could only dream about, but never have...(hug)...Congratulations to you both.. :icon_flower:
gina
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Suzy on May 16, 2008, 07:56:36 PM
Post by: Suzy on May 16, 2008, 07:56:36 PM
Amanda,
Thanks for sharing what you do. Why should you apologize? Really you have made yourself vulnerable by opening up and showing us what's going on. Some won't like it I suppose, but most will appreciate it and be inspired by it. I've shared the good, the bad, and the ugly here and it hasn't bothered you, has it?
Kristi
Thanks for sharing what you do. Why should you apologize? Really you have made yourself vulnerable by opening up and showing us what's going on. Some won't like it I suppose, but most will appreciate it and be inspired by it. I've shared the good, the bad, and the ugly here and it hasn't bothered you, has it?
Kristi
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: NicholeW. on May 17, 2008, 07:41:55 AM
Post by: NicholeW. on May 17, 2008, 07:41:55 AM
QuoteI am fragile...
And things hurt...
I'm feeling my way along...
It's a dark tunnel...
But I know I can make it...
As long as I'm here...
Amanda's Joy
Pink cherry blooms
Rain-washed black branch
Dripping after storm
Shaken in the breeze
Sun through clouds
:)
Hugs,
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 04:25:21 PM
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 04:25:21 PM
I thank everyone for "sharing" as otherwise this forum would be a really "dead space".
Sharing private experience is no less worthy than sharing practical advice .... and it helps us re-inforce good feelings about ourselves.
Just that so often (well almost always lately) I refrain from telling about what made me feel good that day ....
Like "didn't I just meet the cutest guy, we chatted all evening, cuddled and kissed and he still had no idea that I was any way different !", or "Asked out by XYZ", or recently "Wow .... that was my first proper date as Laura and he's mad keen on seeing me again !" .... as I DO feel I would be kind of "bragging" .... :( ....
But I do sort of want to relate my experiences just to say you don't have to be a 20 year old "cutie" to get to the point of being beyond "concerns about passing", to forging relationships, and making a successfull life as a woman.
And often when girls here post stories of their small successes I think "is that all ?" .... and then "slap myself on the wrist" as I know how important these things are in early transition, and feel happy that things are working out for others.
So please, please, keep on sharing .... :) .... !
Laura x
Sharing private experience is no less worthy than sharing practical advice .... and it helps us re-inforce good feelings about ourselves.
Just that so often (well almost always lately) I refrain from telling about what made me feel good that day ....
Like "didn't I just meet the cutest guy, we chatted all evening, cuddled and kissed and he still had no idea that I was any way different !", or "Asked out by XYZ", or recently "Wow .... that was my first proper date as Laura and he's mad keen on seeing me again !" .... as I DO feel I would be kind of "bragging" .... :( ....
But I do sort of want to relate my experiences just to say you don't have to be a 20 year old "cutie" to get to the point of being beyond "concerns about passing", to forging relationships, and making a successfull life as a woman.
And often when girls here post stories of their small successes I think "is that all ?" .... and then "slap myself on the wrist" as I know how important these things are in early transition, and feel happy that things are working out for others.
So please, please, keep on sharing .... :) .... !
Laura x
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Blanche on May 17, 2008, 04:34:02 PM
Post by: Blanche on May 17, 2008, 04:34:02 PM
I don't give out personal information. Blanche's my nom de plume & I'm so far away from America. Who would come here to look for me? If they see my piccie, what were they doing here to start with? What could they do to hurt me? kill me? arrest me? mock me? tell my acquaintances I'm a transsexual woman? Who's going to believe them? They will need to have solid proof and a piccie on an American transgender website isn't enough to make "false" accusations? ;)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 06:08:58 PM
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 06:08:58 PM
Quote from: Blanche on May 17, 2008, 04:34:02 PMBlanche, guess you misunderstand ?
I don't give out personal information. Blanche's my nom de plume & I'm so far away from America. Who would come here to look for me? If they see my piccie, what were they doing here to start with? What could they do to hurt me? kill me? arrest me? mock me? tell my acquaintances I'm a transsexual woman? Who's going to believe them? They will need to have solid proof and a piccie on an American transgender website isn't enough to make "false" accusations? ;)
This thread is more about sharing our experience and feelings (without overtones of being "superior" or "better" than others) .... not about sharing information that could "out" you ?
Laura x
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: JENNIFER on May 17, 2008, 06:27:22 PM
Post by: JENNIFER on May 17, 2008, 06:27:22 PM
QuoteThis thread is more about sharing our experience and feelings (without overtones of being "superior" or "better" than others) .... not about sharing information that could "out" you ?
Whilst being outed is probably the most traumatic thing that can happen for anyone with gender identity issues as opposed to sexuality issues, I have found that being open in the community as myself is immensly liberating. However, being 'out' requires extensive thought and planning if one seeks to be able to fit in with ones desired gender community. Obvoiusly it is an individual decision based on circumstances, it was with me because all things came together in my favour at the right time although without warning :laugh:, I took advantage because the time was right for me and it has been relatively easy for me as a result.
The plain truth of it is that I am OUT, living a female life with a female identity, forging new friendships and now struggling to remember why I waited so long to make the decision to change my life for the better. :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 07:12:55 PM
Post by: Laura Eva B on May 17, 2008, 07:12:55 PM
Jennifer,
This thread is not about being "out" or "stealth" .... we can "share" our experience here without revealing personal details that might compromise us in real life ....
I'm "out" in my profession, family, close friends .... but like to be "stealth" when meeting new friends / (men !), until I can really trust them enough that they become part of my "inner circle" ....
But that's a whole different topic .... ;) ....
Laura x
This thread is not about being "out" or "stealth" .... we can "share" our experience here without revealing personal details that might compromise us in real life ....
I'm "out" in my profession, family, close friends .... but like to be "stealth" when meeting new friends / (men !), until I can really trust them enough that they become part of my "inner circle" ....
But that's a whole different topic .... ;) ....
Laura x
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: JENNIFER on May 18, 2008, 01:17:42 PM
Post by: JENNIFER on May 18, 2008, 01:17:42 PM
I am sorry if I misunderstood you Laura and I take and accept your point about 'stealth' when it comes to meeting men :)
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: Just Mandy on May 19, 2008, 10:10:38 AM
Post by: Just Mandy on May 19, 2008, 10:10:38 AM
QuoteThanks for sharing what you do. Why should you apologize? Really you have made yourself vulnerable by opening up and showing us what's going on. Some won't like it I suppose, but most will appreciate it and be inspired by it. I've shared the good, the bad, and the ugly here and it hasn't bothered you, has it?
Kristi
No you're right... I LOVE reading about others here... the good the bad the ugly. It helps so much. Thanks Kristi for always
sharing :)
Amanda
Posted on: May 19, 2008, 10:09:17 AM
QuoteAmanda's Joy
Pink cherry blooms
Rain-washed black branch
Dripping after storm
Shaken in the breeze
Sun through clouds
Hugs,
Amanda
Beautiful :)
Amanda
QuoteAnd often when girls here post stories of their small successes I think "is that all ?" .... and then "slap myself on the wrist" as I know how important these things are in early transition, and feel happy that things are working out for others.
I think that is so true... so many of us are at totally different points in our lives and transitions. We are also from different
countries, different parts of the US, have had different lives. I occasioanly read something and think "what are they thinking"
but I'm going to work harder to see things through others eyes before OR IF I judge anyone... even to myself. Thanks Laura.
Amanda
Title: Re: Can we ever feel good about sharing things here?
Post by: noeleena on May 27, 2008, 05:05:34 AM
Post by: noeleena on May 27, 2008, 05:05:34 AM
hi..... yes i know so. i am on a lot of forums & i like to hear how as a large group of people get on its hard as it is for some of us so just be a kid as you grow like i am as a women .it takes time so yea keep on letting us know how you are doing yea its neat ....noeleena....