Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I was hoping to tell my parents when i reach my 17th birthday which is on July 15th this year. But my family seems to be having a lot of money problems recently....So here's the thing. Should i tell ?

Well, I am assuming that you are referring to 'coming out'. If you wait until there are no other problems then you may never get the opportunity to do it. But, the choice is ultimately up to you.

Quote from: Natal on May 18, 2008, 10:12:41 AM
I was hoping to tell my parents when i reach my 17th birthday which is on July 15th this year. But my family seems to be having a lot of money problems recently....So here's the thing. Should i tell ?

My vote is for telling them when you have resources to point them to for better understanding.  Just dropping a foreign and potentially confusing/misunderstood idea on them at any time is hard to take.

As for financial problems, if coming out does not have a financial component to it - be sure to inform them of that early on, as it's natural to equate transition as just another unexpected expense.

Also, do they know anyone (have any friends or co-workers) who have already come out?  Having someone they've known to equate your experience with can be very helpful.   

Finally, at 17, they'll definitely want to tell you that life today isn't life forever, and question your current feelings/needs/perceptions.  To reduce their stress, you might want to consider presenting it as more a mission of discovery rather than a set-in-stone position.  While they're thinking you're being open minded, it also enables you time for further discovery and growth.  Coming out is a step, not a result (in my opinion).

As for financial problems, if coming out does not have a financial component to it - be sure to inform them of that early on, as it's natural to equate transition as just another unexpected expense.

_{link removed ~Leia}

Financial problems are everywhere and it can be stressful, but stressing yourself over coming out isn't going to help anyone. I'd say not your birthday... given it is a happy day... but that's a very public day yes? Maybe the weekend before when you have the chance, straighten up the house a little, maybe even ask to help out with dinner, and when your parents are relaxed... (This is the point of the cleaning up... it sets a good feeling all around and makes the place comfy lol even if its a pain in the behind)  ... ask and see if they'd be able to talk to you for a while. When everyone is settled and you feel ready, ease into it and be honest.

^^ Hope that helps a little.

Quote from: Laura91 on May 18, 2008, 01:29:16 PM
Well, I am assuming that you are referring to 'coming out'. If you wait until there are no other problems then you may never get the opportunity to do it. But, the choice is ultimately up to you.

This.

There is never a good time.  It's a holiday, someone dies, the cat's sick.. whatever.