Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Haha. Yeah, I have no idea when to come out. Post transition? Pre transition? I've told a lot of people I have GID. Is that coming out? I don't really beat my chest and say, "ME MAN. HEAR ME ROAR." But... coming out isn't even really something I've thought about doing. Instead, I've thought it will gradually just... make sense to people. Is that a bad approach? Anyone else feel that way?

Being female to male, I think my transition will be a lot less, I don't know, "scary" for people. I don't think FtMs face the same prejudice that MtFs do (and that's a damn shame! I think those girls blossoming into their womanhood is a beautiful thing!)...

I think you are right.  It's much harder to be an FtM in some ways than to be an FtM in todays society.

Sometimes it feels better staying in the closet for some people but for some others it's probably lonely for them that they're afraid to express their true selves and they feel they need to stay in the closet. You're right..it seems it's less "scary" to society for FtM's than MtF's probably because guys who were born guys are expected to live like a man and be strong and all of those other stereotypes and when they turn out to be MtF people think "well you're a gaymo or sissy or blah blah blah" just like how it seems it's less scary for women to come out as lesbians than for men to come out as gay. Sad huh?

Quote from: Godot on May 31, 2008, 07:03:40 PM
Sometimes it feels better staying in the closet for some people but for some others it's probably lonely for them that they're afraid to express their true selves and they feel they need to stay in the closet. You're right..it seems it's less "scary" to society for FtM's than MtF's probably because guys who were born guys are expected to live like a man and be strong and all of those other stereotypes and when they turn out to be MtF people think "well you're a gaymo or sissy or blah blah blah" just like how it seems it's less scary for women to come out as lesbians than for men to come out as gay. Sad huh?

Well, this is the weird thing.

To my immediate family and friends, I will have to come out.
But I don't want to waltz around public saying I used to be a girl. I'm going to be closet in the sense that I'll act as a man and not let anyone know about the fact that I used to be a girl... unless they need to know.

Well, closets are very confining, especially if they're tucked in the corner of the box most people live in.  I live so far out of the box anyway that I absolutely can't go hide in the closet.  OTOH I'm not wearing a tee shirt proclaiming PROUD TO BE TRANS everyday, either.

I'm not ashamed, but I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Jay

I wouldn't call what I feel shame, but calling myself trans is just asking to be calling myself a person who "used to be a woman" in most people's eyes.

yes,Elwood being Mtf is extremely hard especially when you do it in towns in the middle of nowhere. men are expected to be men no matter what-no exceptions but women can be whatever they want and still act like a girl(?){not sure if that is how i want to put that...lol}, you come out whenever you're ready, i just wouldn't do it around holidays or huge family get togethers, it just may not go over so well. which is the problem i have with my so's dad's side of the family. i only see them twice a year at most, thanksgiving and christmas. so yeah, i wouldn't feel like i was ruining a family, but also two family holidays, oh last year this is when the freak came out, wonder what kind of present we'll get this year....i can just see them sitting at the table saying it too....but only you can decide when the time is right.


Warrior Princess Mickie

i just wouldn't do it around holidays

Oh but so many people do, its almost a cliché.  Every year at the Christmas Eve show the local gay mens chorus does its version of "I'm Coming Out at Christmas."  Its a showstopper.

Lovely tree and by the way, some of my closest friends are gay

The London Gay Men's Chorus singing it can be found at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWPMkDDAb7w&feature=related

not sure

That's sort of how I've been doing things, Elwood.  I've just been telling people I have GID and that I've started therapy.  I've been seeing my therapist for a little over a month.  I'm starting hair removal, but still dealing with consults and test patches, that kind of thing.  I haven't really worked out how much farther I'll go, partly because I have things to work out with my wife, yada yada yada.  So there's time yet.  I've just been dealing with things one decision at a time.  I'm not even worried about SRS at this point because it's so far in the future.  Since things are still sort of "up in the air" for me, I haven't told anyone much of anything definite at this point.  I mean, nothing is definite yet, so at least I'm being open and honest with everyone.  :)  I've told family and close friends, so no one is left wondering what's going on as things do start to change. 

And I'd second (or third, or fourth or whatever) the motion to avoid telling people during holidays.  A letter would be better.  I just asked my Mum and Dad if I could talk to them and that way I wasn't responsible for ruining anyone's birthday or Christmas or whatever.  I told my Mum over lunch, and talked to my Dad over dinner a week later. 
Well, best of luck to you!