Susan's Place Transgender Resources

The weirdest thing happened today.  I got "Sir"ed at the passport office - and I wasn't even trying to  pass.  I was wearing makeup for pity's sake. (Gots to look purty for the photo.)  It actually made me a bit uncomfortable, because I knew I was going to have to immediately out myself.  Do any of you find that there are times when it just makes you self-conscious when you get "Sir"ed? Sometimes it bothers me a little, because I know the moment I open my mouth they're going to know I'm not "really" a guy.  Some days I just can't handle the apologies, or the "what a weirdo" looks.  I probably shouldn't care so much what others think, but I hate living in this half-man-half-woman limbo, never truly getting by as either. *sigh*  Still, I guess it means I'm moving in the right direction style-wise.  ;)

The day I get my first SIR I'm throwing a party.  I still get ma'am-ed and 'that lady' all the time.

ARGH!

Jay

I've never been "sir"ed in my life. I'm with Jay--I'll celebrate when it happens to me. =[

I could see how it would be annoying, but maybe they feel like that's what you want to be called so they want to do what would please you ya know?

i never really thought of that brady.  im used to getting intentional hurtful names instead of what i want to hear.

i havnt been sir'd ever.  but i look pretty young.  when i was a little kid i was mistakefor a boy a lot of the time.  now that i have boobs, i think people get a little confused.  they arent aparent, but its enough to prevent the sir.  i havnt been she'd either...

I get sir a lot, or mr. Never makes me feel weird, it doesn't really phase me that much.

I couldn't help myself, I saw this on the front page.  I know I'm not the type you were asking but I'll give you an answer.  It doesn't bother me to get sir'd just because it's what I expect to hear from people.  Ok, so it bothers me a little but it can't be helped because when I open my mouth the sir is confirmed.

Always, I'm not my dad.  I'm not a sir.  I'm just a dude.

To me 'sir' might as well be 'gramps.'

Being 'Sir'ed is the blood of my existence.

Thought all the dudes wanted 2 be si'red :laugh: :laugh: but maybe its me :laugh:  When I was pre-t I just gave it my best shot & talk in my most masculine voice.  nobody noticed anythin.  but  along time ago a woman called me "she" at the store.  I told her "it's he".  she said "so sorry sir, I apologize sir" :laugh: :laugh: & that was about it.  sometimes u just gotta tell them u know.

The very first time I got "sir"ed was when I was 15 and cut my hair short for the very first time. I laughed about it, mostly at the look on the guy's face when I said something to him.

But the more it's gone on and the more frequent it's become, the more I find I like it.

i love it.  makes my day.  I'd rather have that than Mr.  "Hey Mister" would make me feel really old.  I'm lucky i get sir, i look so young.  So when i get it it makes my day.

When i was early on i found that on the days that i wasn't trying, as in throw crap on and a quick errand, was when i passed the most.  So i get what you're saying that it can be a bit unnerving in that respect.  Mainly 'cause when i REALLY tried i failed.

Quotebut I hate living in this half-man-half-woman limbo

nobody said it was gonna be easy.  we've all been there.  hell i'm still there.  one day at a time, things will slowly start to come together for you.

Quote from: J.T. on June 24, 2008, 07:41:05 PM
nobody said it was gonna be easy.  we've all been there.  hell i'm still there.  one day at a time, things will slowly start to come together for you.

Thanks for the support, J.T. :)

Chris - You're right, it all really boils down to confidence.  Fake it 'til you make it, right?  ;)

Hey,
      I'd like to say I am so glad I found this place and this thread. I love being called sir. It validates how I feel inside. It turns, well, you know. I don't try, It always has come natural. I have to calm myself down when I get the ma'ams, because the first impulse is to jump over the counter at the person. What matters most, however, is that I am comfy in my own skin. that is why after all this this time I am gonna go for it. Salutations

i got sirred on Mother's Day, in full dress, if you will, with barrets and a purse. i thought i was gonna die.

ahh, that bites ell.

I still think that being called 'sir' is one step away from being called 'Gramps' as in "Hey Gramps, shuffle over to the next section where the Geritol and walking sticks are."

Not at all - sure as hell bothers the F outta me to be "mam'd" though, especially when it's intentional. Like when people say it, then glance at you to see your reaction.

Quote from: J.T. on June 25, 2008, 06:35:53 PM
ahh, that bites ell.

*in a whiny voice*   unh hunh.

I want people to call me by my name, if they don't know it, I'll tell it to them mightly quick.  Of course, they are all 'boy' or 'girl' to me.

Quote from: ell on June 25, 2008, 06:34:46 PM
i got sirred on Mother's Day, in full dress, if you will, with barrets and a purse. i thought i was gonna die.

Oh, sweetie!  You didn't tell me about that.  At least you never got sirred when you were here.

Quote from: Jamie-o on June 25, 2008, 05:19:29 AM
Chris - You're right, it all really boils down to confidence. 

yep

QuoteFake it 'til you make it, right?  ;)

nah its more like learnin 2 be u ;)

Quote from: ell on June 25, 2008, 06:34:46 PM
i got sirred on Mother's Day, in full dress, if you will, with barrets and a purse. i thought i was gonna die.

That's unbelievable, Ell!   :icon_hug:

Okay, but even if whoever read you, it was kind of obvious they (he/she) should refer to you as she and ma'am, since you were dressed as a lady.  Sheesh. 

Jay

I don't get bothered when I am called "sir" whether or not I'm "trying to pass." It has nothing to do with what "mask" I'm wearing that day. If they call Dapper Dan "sir," then they're addressing me in a respectful manner. They "ma'am" me, and they're possibly mocking me. That or they noticed the tight leather pants I chose that day. Though I have tried tight pants with a convincing pack, most people who know I'm "really" a girl tend to assume it's a "natural fold of the cloth" and think nothing of it. But in all honesty, being male, when I'm addressed with "sir" I am not "ecstatic" nor am I disappointed. I don't see why I should get a rush from it or reject the idea. It's a tad obsessive when one is thriving in pleasure when they hear the proper pronoun; that behavior borders on the line of fetishism. Though I must say the first time it happened I was quite gleeful that I was acknowledged.

I get "sir"ed and I don't mind because I am a guy. The argument is about my sex, not my gender. So if someone says I am male, I'm going to have to say "not yet," because my legal designation is female and will be female until I start HRT and move through the legal process of changing my legal sex. Then saying I am male won't be a lie anymore, unless someone is asking for the purpose of my physical sex (like a doctor), in which event I will have to tell them I am a transsexual male.

My voice makes me seem younger, not female. I am 5'3", have a mild voice (not deep, not high), I obviously have no facial hair and I'm quite thin. So I'm often mistaken as a 13-16 year old boy who's a little slow with puberty. It's unfortunate because I am an adult who is capable of adult jobs.

Now, I certainly can't pass as male in a dress, because I was given a pretty "amazing" female body... it's unfortunate because many girls would kill for my bone structure and body composition. If I wear anything feminine, it immediately shows off those features. All I lack is a "good pair of breasts," which I'm quite thankful for because I don't have to bind.

Overall, when I am "sir"ed I like it because it matches my "style" and persona. I am an actor, so it's often hard to come out of that acting boat. However, that does not mean I am a walking characature. It simply means I like to dress oddly in order to express myself sometimes, often in the form of suits or work clothes, as that is really something I aspire to... Not just that, but I feel that I look incredibly good (and masculine) in these arrangements. I keep wanting T because it for sure will top off my look and no one will ask anymore. They'll just know.

I was in a pub once with my girlfriend and her two kids and she went to the bar to order the food and the guy serving asked her "is there anything else sir?" When she came back to the table she was in shock as she is very feminine, double D breasts AND she had a low cut top on and has a high voice. We were all perplexed but saw the funny side of it the end (kids kept calling her sir all the way home).

On a similar note we were out in a club once and bumped into my bosses brother who is very pc and has been very supportive of what I am doing. He took us over to introduce us to his friends and said, "this is John, she works for my brother" and then said "and this Janette and he also works for my brother." Couldn't work out why everyone was laughing at him. He had had a fair bit to drink though.

Overall I have been pretty lucky as even before I started on the T I looked very male (although not a male of my age) and had a deeper voice than a lot of generic males. I never get tired of being called "sir" "mate" or "young man" even though sometimes I am older or the same age as the person calling me it.

I've been called a boy my entire life so I'm pretty used to the Sir thing. I swear I'm probably one of the best passing males out there without any drugs or whatever.

Quote from: Snowdoggy on June 26, 2008, 12:02:43 PMOverall I have been pretty lucky as even before I started on the T I looked very male (although not a male of my age) [...]

That's kind of what I'm going through... with clothes, I pass as male quite well but much younger. Obviously if I'm not wearing the right stuff my shape shows and I have a very feminine bone structure. So I am not really a "good passing male," because I have to make slight altercations to pass well.