Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, I had a foray into transsexuality but I have discovered it was not for me. It was a good reality check.

Over this last couple months I have been really down to the point where I questioned the point of living (thought not so far that I would say I was suicidal).
I'm not actually sure what led me to think of myself as a woman. I think I was struggling to deal with things at the time and thought that this was the answer. I think I have always been sort of on the edge and decided to leap off but my hydrogen filled zeppelin did not fit in with the hot air balloons.

The thing that brought back to this current reality was a documentary I saw a couple nights ago. It was on transsexuals that are reverting back to their birth sex. One was a ->-bleeped-<- who was pre-op and did not have much difficulty going back (with breast reduction though). The other was a person that had SRS and had lived as a woman for 10 years or so. Ultimately they found it did not feel right, but in reverting back felt that being a male was not really for them either. I really identified with this person. I realised that what I thought I wanted did not actually match the reality of what it would be like. 

Today I feel really good for the first time in ages. I'm alive again!

Can I have my ear tag back Nero?

Hazah's all round!

Hi NS,

Yep, being lost in the gender jungle isn't a lot of fun, but I'm glad you have found your way again. 

I've been questioning whether I am transsexual quite a bit lately myself, but I keep coming to the conclusion that I'm just a woman-wannabe.  I have too much guy to be a gal, and too much gal to be a guy.  Most of the time being Androgyne feels right, but sometimes it really sucks.

.........L 

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream


I did a year as a girl, found out that it was too much, I wanted at least 1/4 of the time as a guy.  Its better to find that out now, then later.

Quote from: NickSister on June 25, 2008, 05:12:17 PM
The thing that brought back to this current reality was a documentary I saw a couple nights ago. It was on transsexuals that are reverting back to their birth sex. One was a ->-bleeped-<- who was pre-op and did not have much difficulty going back (with breast reduction though). The other was a person that had SRS and had lived as a woman for 10 years or so.

Sounds like a difficult yet good realization to come to. I can relate.

I'm curious, what was the movie?

Z

Hi, Nic. I'm happy you've found yourself, or at least found someone you can be content with. :) That's good regardless of what label someone wishes to attach to it.  :icon_hug: :icon_hug:

Good life requires comfort and being at home, I believe. And where is home and comfort, but where the heart is? I am very happy for you. Very proud to share space here with you. Thanks.

O, I'm sure Nero has the ear-tags to return you as soon as he awakens, exits the coffin and starts prowling about. :)

Nichole

Glad you are happy NickSister, that is all that matters.

Quote from: Zythyra on June 25, 2008, 11:20:59 PM
I'm curious, what was the movie?

Z

I think it was called "going back to gender" or "back to gender". It was a british doco.

I'm glad for you too! 

I'm sorry and happy for you.

We should all get together sometime and gore some scapegoat with our combined horns.  >:D

Quote from: Laurry on June 25, 2008, 06:39:44 PM
I've been questioning whether I am transsexual quite a bit lately myself, but I keep coming to the conclusion that I'm just a woman-wannabe.  I have too much guy to be a gal, and too much gal to be a guy.  Most of the time being Androgyne feels right, but sometimes it really sucks.

yeah, same here. However the long-repressed gal inside me sure has been making a ruckus lately to be let out some  >:D

Mmm, my more feminine urges have been itching for a prowl. Seems to go hand in hand with my spending more of my time alone. In my new room far away from the friends at the bar, my flatmates and my family. I am forced to have my own company more often, and when this happens I have a greater wish to be treated as a female, and to feel pretty. :)

I've covered my new room in faeries and flowers, bought some green and gold two-tone material with big brown flowers that I have stapled to the ceiling making the place look like a beduin tent. I have a wish for female trousers and pajamas. I sent a story to a magazine, I sent it as a female name so the inevitable rejection that I will receive will at least have that name..... It's all very pathetic.

But I'll not file my horn off.

In the name of thread hijacking (but how on Earth did I miss welcoming NickSis back? :embarrassed:),

Pica dear, this kind of gender confusion is just what you should expect for not getting your daily dose of being with us. Remember, you are an androgyne. You can feel pretty if you want to. You can wear female trousers if you feel like it. A female name is just as good as a male one. There's nothing pathetic in this. It's just, like a very cool friend of mine wrote in eir signature, 'the best of both worlds'.  :D

Thanks for dropping by, I don't think I'm the only one who's been wondering what you are up to these days.

  Nfr

A female name may be as good as a male, but it was not the one I was given, I may want to feel pretty but I look more like John Bull then Zoe Ball and I reckon female trousers wouldn't fit.

The trouble with being androgyne is that we must always fight for our place in this world.....

Oh Pica! Excuse me a minute while I go out to the kitchen and pop a bottle of champagne (actually Asti Spumante) to celebrate your return. I've been thinking along similar lines today.

My wife and daughter are out of town, so I have been wrestling with the question of what it is I want. Like you, I want to be treated as a female, though the biggest thing I've done lately is just to switch from a fanny pack to a shoulder bag--British khaki canvas, at that.

Then, it struck me to ask: who do I want to treat me as a female. If I want the world at large to treat me as female, then I should follow the transsexual path. Yet I already know I am not willing to jettison my relation with wife and family. For now, I long to have my wife treat me--as what? Sister? Lesbian lover? The idea is too new; I am not sure. I don't think I need it full-time, but I need sometimes to be something softer than the one who conquers fearsome insects and takes out the garbage. I want her to tell me my skin feels so soft.

In another thread, the question was: what does it mean to be a man or a woman. The answer, as I read it, is, since we are talking about internal gender identification, it means what each of us choose it to mean. For me, when she caresses my nipples, that is a step in the desired direction, but I don't know what the next step is (BTW I erred when I wrote I'd grown to an A cup size. The relevant measurements are 42 inches and 38 inches, and I misread the instructions on how to convert them to size).

She said she will miss watching Gilmore Girls with our college-bound daughter. I, too, have enjoyed watching the show, and suggested the two of us could watch it together. That might be heading in the right direction.

In my mind, I am lithe and agile. In the mirror, I am more like the phrase I use to remember my license plate number--24 inches high, 59 inches wide--and I am clumsy. I'd love to dance on the floor, rather than my partners toes. I'd love to dance creatively, in time with the music, and without thinking "ONE, two, three, four, ONE, two, three, four...." Gladly would I follow my partner's lead.

And pretty, you say? My wife, a few years ago, insisted I buy a black suit. It reminds of the lines from Legally Blonde--a serious person is one who wears black when nobody died. I am used to presenting as a man, but I never feel comfortable in that suit. OTOH I don't think I could be comfortable cross dressing unless I were blindfolded. Laurry complained about being a "woman-wannabe", but if I were as pretty as Laurry or Pica, I'd be on top of the world.

My own horn seems intact, but perhaps I have a better sense of direction now. At least I can come here to be treated as a female. I wonder if I can explain any of this to my wife.

Kiss kiss,
S

but conquering insects is also a pleasure... the bins never are but hey ho.

Thanks for the nipple imagery Simone. That's a keeper  ;)

I really liked your grapsing for understanding and I can almost feel what your are getting at, though I can't articulate it better.
Perhaps all we want is to be treated as androgynes but we have no benchmark for what this should be.

For me I think I want to be all things - strong, pretty, soft, hard, protected yet at the same time protector. Handsome and beautiful. I want to be dominated by my partner in bed yet I also like to take control. Follower and commander. Emotional yet calm and solid. Wild caveman and princess. I want no rules - I want to have whatever I need in the moment. I want to wear a dress to work and go slum it with the boys and then have the girls tell me how good my nails look.

I've got it - I want to be Zena! alalalalalalalalala!

(I can't stand suits either, or ties)

you want to keep simone's nipples  :icon_eek:

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 16, 2008, 04:18:21 PM
you want to keep simone's nipples  :icon_eek:

Anyone that talks about caressing nipples are ok in my book.

I saw this picture once of someone's home made fleshtunnels. They were made from their own nipples  encased in resin. Weird - why anyone would want to wear their nipples in their ears is beyond me.  ???

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 16, 2008, 03:37:14 PM
A female name may be as good as a male, but it was not the one I was given, I may want to feel pretty but I look more like John Bull then Zoe Ball and I reckon female trousers wouldn't fit.

The trouble with being androgyne is that we must always fight for our place in this world.....

Pica, I think you'd have an easier time looking pretty/female than I do. Anyway, it's nice to see you back here again. Simone, pour me a glass of champagne please!  ;D

And yes, the problem being androgyne is that most of the rest of the world has no clue, and just lumps us in the damn gender box M or F. I get really tired of that, and in this regard I'm probably more on the TS end of the scale because I feel too much pain over being seen as male.

Zythyra

Quote from: NickSister on July 16, 2008, 04:21:32 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 16, 2008, 04:18:21 PM
you want to keep simone's nipples  :icon_eek:

Anyone that talks about caressing nipples are ok in my book.

I saw this picture once of someone's home made fleshtunnels. They were made from their own nipples  encased in resin. Weird - why anyone would want to wear their nipples in their ears is beyond me.  ???

I never heard of fleshtunnels, so I googled and came up with two possible answers:

1. Fleshtunnel is a six-piece band that when together, they bring an onslaught of sound. Their style ranges from hypnotic trances to aggressive prog-metal rythmns, all the while holding a nice groove.

2. Steel And Titanium Fleshtunnel, Plugs
We have our own factory, manufactured and supplied quality jewelry and body piercing internationally to the wholesale market for many years.  We use only the finest materials (316L Surgical Steel, Titanium G23 and more) for your safety and comfort.  Our goal is to provide high quality body jewelry for lowest price possible to all of our customers.

I confess I still don't know what you're talking about, but please don't ask me to come caress your nipples.

Regards,
S

Posted on: July 16, 2008, 04:54:55 PM

---

Quote from: Zythyra on July 16, 2008, 04:24:24 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 16, 2008, 03:37:14 PM
A female name may be as good as a male, but it was not the one I was given, I may want to feel pretty but I look more like John Bull then Zoe Ball and I reckon female trousers wouldn't fit.

The trouble with being androgyne is that we must always fight for our place in this world.....

Pica, I think you'd have an easier time looking pretty/female than I do. Anyway, it's nice to see you back here again. Simone, pour me a glass of champagne please!  ;D

And yes, the problem being androgyne is that most of the rest of the world has no clue, and just lumps us in the damn gender box M or F. I get really tired of that, and in this regard I'm probably more on the TS end of the scale because I feel too much pain over being seen as male.

Zythyra

I'd be honored to pour champagne for you, Z, and the offer is open to other unicorns. I should say we live in a condo. We once invited 50 people over for my Northern Italian boiled dinner (includes beef, veal, chicken, and sausage). Fortunately, only about half of them could make it--and we still had people sitting on the stairs, juggling their plates.

Say, if I said, remembering Simone's misadventure, I wanted to present to potential muggers as a strong, powerful male, would I be invoking male privilege? Which situations pain you the most to be treated as male?

Your humble servant,
S

Pass the champagne, please!  We missed you, Pica!

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 16, 2008, 05:08:30 PM
Say, if I said, remembering Simone's misadventure, I wanted to present to potential muggers as a strong, powerful male, would I be invoking male privilege?

Your humble servant,
S

That's a very interesting question from the opposite view point because if I'm in a situation with my friends where any of us are being threatened, I become the protector.  I tend to act without thinking in a situation like that, but I do enjoy that role and it does make me feel masculine. (although one of my friends calls that "mama wolf", so if you think about it that way, it doesn't have to be a masculine role)  The only time I really like being protected is in a verbal assault.  I'm fine with my fists, bad with words.  :-\

Not to worry Simone, just kidding around.

Flesh tunnels go in your ears mainly - i.e. if you stretch out your piercings you get a big hole which you then put a flesh tunnel in. They are called flesh tunels as they are often hollow (like a tube).

I recently removed mine and I am happy. and lucky, to say the holes have shrunk to a more reasonable size. I can now wear normal earings.

I thought those were called ear stretching.


I don't know if this will help you Simone, but you could join a women's yoga class. Yoga helps you to feel kind of elegant. It might help defeat the feeling of being a klutz.  Also, being in a room full of women doing this meditative exercise, might trick your mind into forgetting your maleness.

Quote from: Rebis on July 17, 2008, 10:46:50 AM
I don't know if this will help you Simone, but you could join a women's yoga class. Yoga helps you to feel kind of elegant. It might help defeat the feeling of being a klutz.  Also, being in a room full of women doing this meditative exercise, might trick your mind into forgetting your maleness.

That sounds more attractive and certainly a more effective way to forget my maleness than what my wife suggests I do to support her use of the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath)--

"Imagine, an afternoon of scotch tasting, cigars, humor and a little learning - while supporting a good cause too!

..., you are invited to [the mikvah's] first ever men only event.  In addition to the scotch tasting, cigar smoking and schmoozing, [a well-know rabbi] will perform some of his best standup comedy for us."

So where do I find a women's yoga class open to me, and how do I avoid a men-only event while supporting my wife's pet cause? Or maybe I should go to the event clad in a T-shirt with the inscription "Ask me about the Androgyne forum at Susan's Place".

S

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 17, 2008, 03:07:07 PM
..., you are invited to [the mikvah's] first ever men only event.  In addition to the scotch tasting, cigar smoking and schmoozing, [a well-know rabbi] will perform some of his best standup comedy for us."

So where do I find a women's yoga class open to me, and how do I avoid a men-only event while supporting my wife's pet cause? Or maybe I should go to the event clad in a T-shirt with the inscription "Ask me about the Androgyne forum at Susan's Place".

Ick! Cigars are gross! <Z holds her nose and tries not to breathe>

I love the T shirt idea Simone!! I want one too.  :laugh:

Z

Quote from: Pica Pica on July 16, 2008, 03:37:14 PM
I may want to feel pretty but I look more like John Bull then Zoe Ball

Not in that dress, luv. The caption underneath is spot on.

  Nfr

Quote from: Zythyra on July 17, 2008, 03:14:39 PM

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 17, 2008, 03:07:07 PM
Or maybe I should go to the event clad in a T-shirt with the inscription "Ask me about the Androgyne forum at Susan's Place".

I love the T shirt idea Simone!! I want one too.  :laugh:

Z

Maybe you want to check it out with Susan first.

S

Publicity is never a bad thing, Simone. But, yeah, an email might be appropriate! :)

Nichole

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 18, 2008, 08:46:13 AM
Maybe you want to check it out with Susan first.

I know, you could have a t shirt that says "Ask me About Androgynes", then it doesn't publicize the site, just androgynes.

Z

Quote from: Laurry on June 25, 2008, 06:39:44 PMI've been questioning whether I am transsexual quite a bit lately myself, but I keep coming to the conclusion that I'm just a woman-wannabe.  I have too much guy to be a gal, and too much gal to be a guy.  Most of the time being Androgyne feels right, but sometimes it really sucks.

I understand what you mean.  I'm pretty much transitioned and most of the world knows me as a woman, but sometimes I feel more like an androgyne.  I cringe at the idea of being thought of as male and for the most part the female role feels much more natural to me, but there are other times I simply feel different than a lot of other women.  I've put a lot of thought into what path is best for me and my conclusion seems to be that I need to finish up my transition and continue being female for all intents and purposes, but either act more or less feminine as the mood suits me.  I also can't ignore the physical indications of my body that say "this person was supposed to be female" such as the 2D4D finger test.

At this point I usually don't wear much makeup and I don't really care if people see me working with tools or that I'm still stronger than most women or doing other "typical guy activities" (especially since it doesn't really change their perception of me), but I do sometimes feel like being more feminine and dressing a bit more girlish or just dancing around when I hear music.  If forced to dress formally, I prefer dresses as opposed to male clothes or even androgynous clothes.  I would much rather hear a "ma'am" than a "sir" any time (not that anyone has addressed me as sir in years), although I prefer it when people address me as "miss" because it implies youth.

I think I just described how most women my age are so I don't really feel out of place.  I've been fulltime for just over 2 years now and things feel more "right" than I can recall in the past.  If things just don't feel right to you in the female role, then I congratulate you on discovering the correct path for you.  No path is a superior path over another.  You just need to look at what is right for you.

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 17, 2008, 03:07:07 PM
So where do I find a women's yoga class open to me, and how do I avoid a men-only event while supporting my wife's pet cause? Or maybe I should go to the event clad in a T-shirt with the inscription "Ask me about the Androgyne forum at Susan's Place".

S

Just look around. The reason most women's yoga classes is just women is that men aren't into it.  Just ask nicely. Tell the truth. I would just out myself, but I do that for any reason these days.

You probably don't have to mention you're looking for a women only environment. Just show up at a couple of places and ask.

Quote from: Rebis on July 19, 2008, 09:47:40 PM

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 17, 2008, 03:07:07 PM
So where do I find a women's yoga class open to me, and how do I avoid a men-only event while supporting my wife's pet cause? Or maybe I should go to the event clad in a T-shirt with the inscription "Ask me about the Androgyne forum at Susan's Place".

S

Just look around. The reason most women's yoga classes is just women is that men aren't into it.  Just ask nicely. Tell the truth. I would just out myself, but I do that for any reason these days.

You probably don't have to mention you're looking for a women only environment. Just show up at a couple of places and ask.

Thanks for the response. I watched Two Weeks Notice on TV last night in which the heroine boasts she can bend like a pretzel. That'd be nice.

Earlier in the day, I went to the beach to view the sand sculptures. Amazing. I also notice it was not only the women whose bodies I envied, there were a bunch of males with more developed breasts than mine. I finally decided I was just being silly.

S

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 20, 2008, 06:15:46 PM

Quote from: Rebis on July 19, 2008, 09:47:40 PM

Quote from: Simone Louise on July 17, 2008, 03:07:07 PM

S

I watched Two Weeks Notice on TV last night in which the heroine boasts she can bend like a pretzel. That'd be nice.

S

If you watch Don't mess with the zohan you might not think that bending like a pretzel would me nice  :D ;D LOL