Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Okay the other M word. I would like to know if people are:

single & looking
single (happy or sad?)
dating
living common-law
legally married
separated
currently divorcing
engaged

(& if I forgot any please added it to your post).

More than one of these may apply eg I am living common-law with my fiancee (& I am very happy  :icon_razz: ).

If you are married or divorcing is your SO from pre-trans times? Is the divorce mainly b/c of your transition?
If you are married was/is it considered a same-sex-marriage?
If you are engaged, legally will government assign you as a same sex couple?
Are same sex marriages recognized in your area?
Has does your SO (partner type) use Susan's?

(I am not big on polls I like words   :icon_blahblah:   more than numbers so I choose to ask or 'poll' this way.)

Cheers
~Amy

I have wanted to be married since 3rd or 4th grade. Am I happy being single? No not really. It is not bad mind, but it is not my preference. It is not what I want and it is not what should be.  However, I am not (purposefully) looking because I am in transition. In flux. ^*chortle* What you see now is not what you get... An that is so not fair.

my answer's just going to be the same as spikes, but i feel obliged to answer ;).

engaged and living common law (practically married) and i feel like the happiest, most irritatingly in love guy on the face of the earth (i hold her hand everywhere all the time, even while driving). i refuse to get married until the government recognizes me as male. i hate that i have to wait and get specific surgeries in order to be able to get that recognition :icon_shakefist:. i am lucky that my fiancee is willing to wait and understands the importance to me as being married as a heterosexual couple and that she has the same desire.


      tino

I'm married and desperately trying to stay that way.

My wife is still with me  :angel: in spite of the pain that I can see she is going through.  She knew I cross dressed before we married and found out I was TS only 11 months ago.  My first marriage was essentially destroyed by my trying to unsuccessfully hide my CD'ing.

As I change I hope to become (an unfortunate rarity): a legal same-sex marriage.  Sex/gender modification cannot disallow a legal marriage!  The New York State Court of Appeals very recently ruled against same-sex marriages (and took, what I think, is a cowardly way out.)  I believe same sex marriages performed elswhere are recognized by law.

My SO doesn't post here (or anywhere else, for that matter).  She accuses me of spending too much time here while also acknowledging my need for a support network.  Maybe I do but it sure feels good to be here.

helen

Single and very much looking, which you probably know if you've read some of my other posts. Same-sex marriage is very much illegal and verboten in Indiana... this is Bible-belt country. I think the only place in America that still recognizes same-sex marriages is Massachusetts... although there might be more. However, many churches here will marry same-sex couples, it just can't be made legal.

Personally, I'm not worried about being officially married; it's just never been a big thing for me. I do prefer monogamous relationships, however, and if that means that eventually I'll be in a commonlaw relationship, that's fine with me. Really, I'm only concerned with having kids... I love kids more than anything, and if I have to adopt while single, that's cool with me.

Rafe

Single and not looking - for a relationship, that is. I'm game for anything else.
Am I happy being single? Yes, for the time being. Although it does get lonely at times.

QuoteReally, I'm only concerned with having kids... I love kids more than anything, and if I have to adopt while single, that's cool with me.

I want kids, too. Adoption? I can't see anyone placing a child with me. I'm trans and have a bit of a record - not the best candidate. So, little Miss Right must have children.

Nero

Legal MTF/FTM marriage.  We both had previous marriages, children and grandchildren.

We married before surgery and then each switched.  We figured it would be less hassle that way.  There was a Social Security spousal benefits holdup while they went through our marriage and sex change records and timing and prepared the mandatory legal brief and recommendation for the Social Security Administrator herself to approve.

The local (Seattle) SSA attorney told me they are used to the 'suddenly same-sex' benefits situations, but we were the first MTF/FTM case she had seen.

Robyn

O.K....here goes:

I have been divorced once, currently going through NIGHTMARE divorce #2, neither of those people were transgendered...psychotic maybe...transgendered? No.  I'm currently living with my FtM SO and we are talking of a wedding in the future, although nobody's gotten down on their knee yet (hint hint).  My state (California) does not recognize same sex marriage, we do not want it that way anyway.  Before any serious wedding plans can be made, we need to get through divorces and sex changes (well...just one of those).

;) Pam

I'm legally married to Gillian, 33 years now, and counting.  While we are still legally married, our relationship has changed somewhat.  We no longer wear our wedding rings, and we have both agreed not to stand in the way of the others happiness, and we now refer to each other as we're partners.  Same sex marriage is recognized throughout Canada.  We plan on staying together till death does us part.

Steph

Was engaged living commonlaw and very happy... the weddings were tentitivly planed for october or november...... *crys*

Currently Im single and absolutly miserable...... I want my Noe(nick name for her) back.......
Despite all shes done, or more specificaly how she went about doing it I cant stop loving her and its tearing me appart.....

Single and Lonley.

Never lonley when I come here of course.

Alice

Nero, I'm hoping that regardless of the fact I'm trans I will be able to adopt. That's part of why I'm so hesitant to come out to people... it might reduce my chances. However, the reason I'm moving out of state is so I can go work at an orphanage in Mexico, and the guidelines for adoptions in Mexico are far more lax than those in the U.S. A child is a child, regardless of his or her country of origin.

Rafe

Okay the other M word. I would like to know if people are:

Separating

Is the divorce mainly b/c of your transition? - Oh, yeah!

Same sex marriages are not recognized. The state Supreme Court decided that this is something that should be legislated.

Hopefully, my SO will not be using Susans.  I can almost see her trolling for information to be used in the divorce proceedings.

Married.

We don't talk about that aspect of myself anymore.
I'm am sure I could be more miserable than I am now, but I can't see surviving it.

Quote from: Rafe on July 16, 2006, 07:50:46 PM
Nero, I'm hoping that regardless of the fact I'm trans I will be able to adopt. That's part of why I'm so hesitant to come out to people... it might reduce my chances. However, the reason I'm moving out of state is so I can go work at an orphanage in Mexico, and the guidelines for adoptions in Mexico are far more lax than those in the U.S. A child is a child, regardless of his or her country of origin.

Rafe

I didn't mean it that way, Rafe. For myself, I'm not a good candidate because of my drug history.
Add to that the fact that I'm trans...
It shouldn't be a problem if you adopt before any big transition moves - hormones, surgery, name change, etc.
Working in a Mexican orphanage sounds fascinating. Mexican kids are adorable.

Nero

Single and happily so. My wife leaving me for transitioning was just about the best thing that could've happened to me.

Not looking, but not ruling it out. I will be a lot more cautious about my choice of partner next time though.

Dennis

Quote from: Chaunte on July 17, 2006, 05:51:14 AM
Hopefully, my SO will not be using Susans.  I can almost see her trolling for information to be used in the divorce proceedings.

Hi Chaunte:

LOL...I'm sorry I don't mean to make fun of your situation...but I found your comment very funny...yeah...you'd be surprised at the things some people do in order to get away with things.  Hopefully that won't be your case.

Take care

tinkerbell  :icon_chick:

Quote from: tinkerbell on July 17, 2006, 09:44:55 AM
Hi Chaunte:

LOL...I'm sorry I don't mean to make fun of your situation...but I found your comment very funny...yeah...you'd be surprised at the things some people do in order to get away with things.  Hopefully that won't be your case.

Take care

tinkerbell  :icon_chick:

No offense taken!  Just my paranoid-pessimist side coming out.

Once you have done quality control for a while, you become a paranoid pessimist.  Translation: not only is the world out to get you, it's out to get you in ways you haven't even thought of yet!  ;) 

So, for me, the glass isn't half full OR half empty.  It doesn't pass inspection, so the entire production run of Glasses-with-Water must now be inspected!  :icon_evil_laugh:

Single and kind of-sort of looking.  Waiting to find someone who is brainy and attractive and does not bring extra drama into my life.  LOL

I have had a number of offers but most are just looking to hook up for sex and that is all.  Not my thing.  Recently found out that someone I like does think I am very attractive but not sure how that will work out, if it does at all.

Quote from: HelenW on July 16, 2006, 10:37:58 AM
I'm married and desperately trying to stay that way.

Me too. Though I haven't done anything more drastic than therapy, letting the hair grow (still short though) and laser sessions so far. I don't crossdress anymore (didn't really do it much before anyway), so that doesn't get in the way. But she/we are still toying with the idea of having a kid, so that's a problem. I won't have one if I'm going to transition, and I don't want to trap her in our marriage if she wants one that badly. AND she wants a "real man" for sex (she doesn't mean that as cruelly as it sounds). So... I dunno where we're headed.

IF we split, it'll be because of the TSism, either directly or indirectly. All of our bigger marital problems can be traced back to it (mostly sex and intimacy issues).

Ok, I have kind of a unique situation, so I'll make up ones if I need to.

First of all, I'm not sure what qualifies as "currently in divorce".  Does the decision to do so count?

So, we have already decided to divorce and are separated.  We are both doing our own things with other people, so I'm dating as well.  We're still friends and all and talk about our relationships with the other people and that's what makes our situation unique.

Melissa

single and not looking its work in progress:)

I dont believe, endorse, or ever want marraige. I have never been married.

I have lost trust in what my nation defines as marraige. In my opinion, our legal marraige is headed in the wrong direction. The only reason I would marry would be to make it so whoever I married would have materialistic connection together. And for insurance benefits. That is something I dont currently need or care about. Mississippi is one of the state its illegal to have a same sex marraige in btw. And they do not recognize any marraige done same sex, out of state.

I break marraige up into different parts

Marraige as a legal binding of possessions and persons.
Marraige as a national recognition of joining of union.
Marraige as a religious ceremony.
Marraige as a communal celebration.
Marraige as a symbolic joining of intimacy.
Marraige as a real commitment to each other for now until when it ends, or sometimes till death.
Marraige as a vehicle during giving birth to bind each other and child.

The only thing I care about now is intimacy and commitment to each other which I do outside the national marraige system. I vote for people that I think will help remove the discrimination against in marraige, to help others however that feel it is important. I believe others that really want it should be able to be married without restrictions.

Quote from: Rafe on July 16, 2006, 11:28:44 AM
Single and very much looking, which you probably know if you've read some of my other posts. Same-sex marriage is very much illegal and verboten in Indiana... this is Bible-belt country. I think the only place in America that still recognizes same-sex marriages is Massachusetts... although there might be more. However, many churches here will marry same-sex couples, it just can't be made legal.

Personally, I'm not worried about being officially married; it's just never been a big thing for me. I do prefer monogamous relationships, however, and if that means that eventually I'll be in a commonlaw relationship, that's fine with me. Really, I'm only concerned with having kids... I love kids more than anything, and if I have to adopt while single, that's cool with me.

Rafe

Where in Indiana do you live?

---

I plan to be legally married one day. I can't wait. I want kids more than anything.

I'm single, and that's how it shall stay. I'm a coward, and I couldn't tell the guy I liked that I liked him... and honestly, I couldn't get married to a girl... I do like girls, but if I got into a marriage it would mean that I had to be the father figure... and that wouldn't work for me.... not in anyway.

Besides... I've never been too big on relationships, which is a good thing, because getting a good one would be very hard for me.

Quote from: Victoria on July 18, 2006, 11:16:07 PM...
I couldn't get married to a girl... I do like girls, but if I got into a marriage it would mean that I had to be the father figure
...

In my opinion I think you need to do a wee more research.

Or in other words not all girls want the same thing you know...

Married to a terrific lady (gg) and have 3 kids. This is the reason as i said before for no SRS, well the biggie anyways.

I am a happily married crossdresser.  We have been married for 38 years and have three grown children and two grandkids.  My wife knows about my crossdressing and I dress openly at home.  I did not tell my wife about my crossdressing until about nine years ago.  We worked through some difficult times--not so much because of my crosdressing as from my hiding this from her for so many years.  My wife does not participate here at Susan's other than occasionally looking over my shoulder while I post.  She is fairly well informed about transgender issues, but has no interest in anything connected with computers.