Susan's Place Transgender Resources

So I've always had this lingering paranoia that medication is a placebo, all my life. But I'm starting to get over that misconception because some of my medicines actually help me, let alone all the hospital visits I've had where medicine has helped me.

The thing is, I've been searching with my psychiatrist since either February or march for an anti-depressant that works for me, and we're almost into july with 2 different types of anti-depressants used and too many different dosages. It's to the point where my current meds have to be prescribed in 2 different bottles: 40mg + 20 mg and I have to take one of each bottle everyday...Does that mean 40mg is as high as they make it??

I really don't know, but I haven't seen any positive or negative side effects so I can't help but let my paranoia grow up again. It's not working on me at all and these anti depressants are a waste of my time. Wait, there was one disturbing side effect: weight gain. The meds make me think I'm hungry when I'm not, which is irritating. My therapist said she only wanted me to be on it for a year anyway to "stabilize the hormones in my mind" or some crap, so what's the point of taking it anyway. It's been proven that anti-depressants don't work, in long term cases.

I've had my moments since february, but overall I've made myself happier through my own self-discoveries and improvements to me. I'm a happier person overall, especially with the discovery of my being a guy knocked out of the way, but none of it was due to the meds. So I feel like it's pointless to take them, and I'll just keep continuing with my therapy. I haven't filled my psychiatrist's last 40+20 prescription, screw it. I'm gonna stop taking the pills tomorrow.

I guess by writing this, I wanted to let this out. I don't honestly know if I'm asking for advice or just needed to tell someone, so take it as you will.

Maybe your depression isn't biological. Some people have depression for legitimate reasons. I know most of my depression is caused by being transgendered and dealing with trans issues. Just about every time I'm depressed it's when I think about my body, how I wish it was and how much I hate the way it is. Then I'm so down in the dumps that I can't even sing blues. Now that's down, brother.

If the anti-depressants aren't making things worse, I'd continue taking them until your dosage is out. Maybe after a few months (or more months) you'll see a change. I'd just use them up and stop getting prescriptions. Tell your therapist that they aren't helping.

The fact that you are happier when your life improves tells me that your depression is a lot like mine; it's not biological, but situational and mental. You're sad because you have things to be sad about. Medication can't really help with that very much.

I'm glad you let this out. It gets some weight off your shoulders.  :)

I'd check with your doctor before stopping them cold turkey.  Some depression meds can have negative effects if you just stop.  Or, if that isn't an option, at least taper off them gradually.  (That's what I did at one point when I lost my insurance coverage.)

I stopped mine cold turkey, I do not recommend this activity. There can be some very serious complications and side effects, depending on the type of medication that you are using.

Definitely don't stop cold turkey!  Whether or not they were helping you, you will usually suffer serious side-effects if you stop suddenly, especially as it sounds like you have a high dosage.

And it took a while before i noticed any difference after starting taking anti-depressants (though that could have been due to other things).  If you want to stop, please talk to your doctor about it.

Quote from: trapthavok on July 19, 2008, 09:33:39 PM
It's been proven that anti-depressants don't work, in long term cases.

I don't know if your referring to the same research, but what i read was that a recent study had shown that anti-depressants were no better than placebos in the long-term (except for severe clinical depression).

But other research has shown that the placebo effect alone is strong in combating some illnesses, and so taking medication does make a difference (even if not biologically).

There are a wide variety of anti-depressants out there, and they each work differently depending on what the physiological cause (if there is one) of the person's depression is. Sometimes it takes a combination of meds to get depression under control. Even then, the meds need to be tweaked sometimes. All of this can take a lot of trial and error.

It does sound like your depression is mostly situational since you're feeling better just by getting things figured out in your life. As the others have said, you shouldn't stop taking them without talking to your doctor.

For some people anti-depressants do work and are necessary for them to live functional lives. Some may need them for only a short time; others may need them forever.

Due to the overwhelming "don't do it!" responses here, I took my meds today. Thanks for the input everyone.

Supposedly my mom has biological depression, so I guess it was just assumed that I got it from her. On my second session with my therapist, she was already ready to put me on anti-depressants. But once I started fixing things, personality wise and otherwise like I said I felt happier. Granted I had thought of suicide maybe 3 or 4 times in my past but I never did more than just think about it. Plus, I would say the times I had thought about it were the lowest points of my life, socially and mentally...so I didn't really agree that I should have gone on anti-depressants especially after only one session with my therapist.

I told her about my sister's issues too, though she's never seen my sister, she recommended my sister see a psychiatrist to stabilize her and put her on medication before she went to therapy. Now she's never met my sister before, and it seems like all my sister suffers from is anxiety, as far as I know.

Maybe my therapist is a little trigger-happy with the medication? I don't know. I'll wait til I see her next week thanks to you guys and tell her I want off the meds. I honestly do feel happier than I've ever felt in my life, and I haven't started the high doses yet, I just got a prescription for it. I have more friends now than I had before, because I stopped being afraid to talk to people and maintain my relationships...it's really not the medicine.

So thanks

Work with your doctor/therapist. Tell them that the medicine isn't helping. But continue to take it. You don't want to freak your body out by stopping. :)

Most therapists seem to be pretty trigger-happy when it comes to pills, in my experience. Mind you that my experience is quite limited. Haha.

You're welcome, and do continue to grow and blossom into the beautiful person you are. We all have the potential to be great people.  ;D

Havok, I'm so glad you took the advice.

Actually, you might do better to tell your doctor/therapist that you want to be titrated down from the anti-depressant rather than telling them that it's not working. Telling them it's not working could set up a whole 'nother set of wrangles with them about trying something else that "will work." That's usual practice.

If you think you can handle life without meds tell them that instead. Not only is it truthful, but it may possibly avoid a larger fight later and just another script for something else that you will also not want to take.

(I'll pull the experience card here.) After spending 13 years working with mental health clients I do know the score somewhat when it comes to meds. I think you may stand a much better chance of "winning" them over if you just approach it with "I wanna try living without them. Please titrate me off of this so I don't start with a crisis of some kind due to anti-depressant withdrawal." That will show good sense and a positive reference for yourself.

I think you'll get the result you want if you can make a good case for yourself and sound calm and reasoned and confident. Agree that if you can't remain stable that you're willing to work with them on another regimen.

All the best,

Nichole 

Count me in with those who are glad you didn't stop cold turkey. Withdrawal symptoms really are no fun, believe me!

And I second Nichole, just talk to your doctor/therapist in a calm and confident manner. Show her that you have thought about it, have a fair idea about the consequences and that, should you fall back into depression, you are willing to try medication again (that is, if you are willing).

It does sound like your therapist is medication-happy, which is something that surprises me. So far, my experience with doctors and therapists have been that they prefer not to give out medication.

Good luck,
PolarBear

omg yea... i forgot my pillonce and it was horrible.  i was like crying and freaking out.  also, meds that dont work make you feel WORSE.  anyways... yea, i have the biologic depression.  and stopping cold turkey is most definitely a BAD idea.