Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Does transexual purge???or only crossdressers purge?

With Regards,
Anisha

In my case as a TS, I purged three times in seven years. Thousands worth went into the trash. The reason, I was not accepting who I was. Once, it was an ultimatum from my "wife" and I dutifully obeyed. She said I was a danger to our adolescent daughter by wearing women's clothes.  That was big incentive to purge as I am dedicated to my daughter's well being. Each time, I went into despondency and became unable to function. Months of recovery.
Once I accepted that I was trans, no force on earth would make me purge.

Maggie

Anisha,
We all purge (crossdressers and transsexuals alike) until we're 100% sure of who we are - until our self-identity is fully accepted.  Like Maggie, I've purged twice before, and although it wasn't a huge financial loss, I miss some of the clothes that I donated to charity.  They represented a part of who I am, a part that I was trying desperately to deny.  Now I know better.

Carol

I threw out some old stuff before but it was not a classic purge. Also had an ex cut up what was left (yeah, bad breakup) which meant I had to go back to square one. Then again I did not dress too often and while I would become depressed after having to revert back I never really had the shame / guilt thing going on.

YMMV and everyone is different.

I'd hate to think how many times I have done it in my lifetime...

..but I guess overall when I look back, I have moved on each time
and there's actually very little of what went that I miss now.

I have to agree with Carol, that each time I came back I found that
I had sort of re-invented myself, and my understanding of style
changed for the better.

Chrissty

I have purged a few times in the past. It was nothing major just a few items here and there. But starting a couple of years ago I decided to keep what I buy from now on. (unless it wears out of course, then I throw it away)

The day after I bought a bunch of men's clothing, I took every last item of female clothing I owned (7 bags full, some with tags!!) down to the Goodwill store.  Good-bye!  Underwear, bras, and socks went into the dumpster.  Never looked back. 

I'm very frugal and if I had any inkling that this was a phase, or that I'd need that stuff someday, I would have put it into the basement for potential future use.

In my case I knew, no doubt.  And I didn't (don't) have family standing in my way.

Jay

As a transsexual, I purged all my goddamn male stuff! HA-HAAA! Good riddance to bad rubbish!  ;D

I have purged only once, but fortunately there was not a lot of $$$$ involved in what i got rid of.

The next time I felt the urge to purge, I packed it in a box, put it in the attic. Fortunately I did this, as it was less than a month, I retrieved the box of clothes from the attic and have never looked back since.

I do need to go through my wardrobe, and dispose of some things, but they are items that do not fit right, are out of style, or just things that I have not worn for a long time.

This time when i dispose of those items, they will be donated to the good will or a clothing box near me

Denise

Quote from: Hypatia on July 25, 2008, 04:45:38 PM
As a transsexual, I purged all my goddamn male stuff! HA-HAAA! Good riddance to bad rubbish!  ;D

Haha! Amen, sista! ^5 v5 BUMP!

I have purged three times in my life.  Two were very troubling to me as it was for others not me.  The last time was and is for me, I am slowly weeding him out.  ;D

Janet

I never crossdressed before coming out as trans.  My coping was all mental - I had several collections of stories over the years that I every so often would get deleted.  Then after my resolve ran out (I lasted a week once!) I'd be out there, hitting the sites trying to find them all again.

Val

Quote from: Anisha on March 16, 2025, 07:59:37 PM
Does transexual purge???or only crossdressers purge?

With Regards,
Anisha

I've only done it once and that once was quite the conflicted desire. Regardless, that once was a very expensive once. Much like bein' a girl, wanting to be a girl is very expensive. I'll mention a few items and stop when it becomes something painful: I tossed (purged) A very expensive (arguablly the best you can get) wig, a crazy-dollar amount in cosmetics, another crazy-dollar amount in dresses and accessories (yep, you guessed it, my dumbass was makin' $1200 a week at the time and thought I could buy, not only high-dollar cosmetics n' designer girly clothes, but order Italian Hosiery as well). Betcha could accurately guess the type of girl I'd be, huh? Anyway, Let me type, as diplomatically as I can muster, That I don't think a cross-dresser is as likely to purge as a True TS Person. My elucidation is this: Cross-dresser's are comfy with bein' part-time and fragmenting that facet of their lives-so I would theorize. TS People on the other hand, often feel conflicted stemming from what could be either a specific (single) or number of things. In my case, there were a couple of major factors. First, I had a niece n' nephew, both under 5 at the time, that I had grown to love dearly and feared their loss that would likely result from my "coming out". I'd like to add, no one whomsoever knew about me at the time which is another pertinent aspect to consider be it in my case or anyone else's. Support from others carries a great deal of weight. Second, I felt locked occupation wise at the time (much like I kinda do now) in that I was baffled/scared in thought of how I could make the same, or even near kinda money. Granted, for those of you thinking such anyway, I didn't necessarily hafta purge if I were reluctant to come out at the time. Correct, if you were thinking somethin' like. But I'm the kinda person that is far more considerate than they tend to give themselves credit for. I discovered this in almost staggering effect when I came out to those I have. Example: Danielle, who is a wonderful and understanding/accepting lady, claims she doesn't care that I dress to desire in the house when or not she's present. This is a very warm n' kind privilege or so I consider. But sometimes she will radiate, or so I feel, feeling that she's kinda uncomfortable with it. When this feeling comes over me, I stop dressing comfy for a while till I feel she's ready to see it again. See, this compels me to touch on a not-so happy subject about one of my first TS Friends. She was embarking upon transition to become female and not only had adequate financial backing, but was well built (bone n' skin-wise) to support what I'm sure would make a very convincing/passable girl. Fastfowarding, her and I were talking over the phone one day when the subject of "coming out" surfaced. She went on to tell me that people like us were actually very selfish people. When I questioned her position she explained how she feels that telling someone (family/friends, etc.) about our position is a "half-ass" Suicide. According to her, when we come out to someone, we more or less die to that person to one degree or another. I must admit, this intrigued me and I did devote quite a bit of thought to it. Hell, sometimes I still do. Anyway, Back to my base point B4 the Mandi reference: I think being considerate of those meaningful around you/us can serve to fuel a conflicting desire to put your/my happiness aside for their benefit. That was not only my primary concern then, but to a mentionable degree still is. I, much like many of my sisters like yourselves (m2f), tend to think with my heart. But that's who we are: We're girls-and such is just part of the program, like it or no. In attempt at summary, don't beat yourself up if you've ever done the purging thingee. I learned a great deal from it and so can you.

Rather like Hypatia, I "purged" guy stuff starting in my early teens - it was my way of protesting the "enforced gender role" of my mother. The only real "purge" was about 16 when I set out to erase every bit of evidence of my "male existence". It was pretty successful - the only items missed were those not at home but in the hands of others.

Quote from: carol_w on July 25, 2008, 10:39:56 AM
Anisha,
We all purge (crossdressers and transsexuals alike) until we're 100% sure of who we are - until our self-identity is fully accepted.  Like Maggie, I've purged twice before, and although it wasn't a huge financial loss, I miss some of the clothes that I donated to charity.  They represented a part of who I am, a part that I was trying desperately to deny.  Now I know better.

Carol

I never did purge, even once.

Wow, I guess I did purge. All my old girly clothes. Except I donated it to thrift stores.

But I only got rid of that stuff because I wasn't using it. I figured someone else could use it and enjoy it.

Is that what purging means in this context? Getting rid of stuff?

I too have done it more than once and thought about how much hard earned money I was throwing away. If I ever feel I have to do this again I'm going to find some safe place to store my clothes and stuff, knowing full well that I'm going to need them again in the future. Gender identity problems never go away for ever.

Quote from: Elwood on July 27, 2008, 01:00:48 PM
Wow, I guess I did purge. All my old girly clothes. Except I donated it to thrift stores.

But I only got rid of that stuff because I wasn't using it. I figured someone else could use it and enjoy it.

Is that what purging means in this context? Getting rid of stuff?

Well, to be accurate, not really. I was putting an ironic twist on the concept. It actually refers to MTF getting rid of women's clothing, or FTM getting rid of men's clothing, because of pressure or shame about crossing the gender boundary, an attempt to shove oneself back into one's birth-assigned gender.

I didn't dress in women's clothes before I came out, I was that repressed about it. So I had nothing to purge. Except one item I bought when I was in college, and when a young woman crashed at my place for a couple weeks when she needed a place to stay, I invited her to take it with her when she moved on. I made up a fake story about an old girlfriend having left it behind. That was my one and only purge. It didn't stop there-- she took the liberty to liberate other things from my apartment. I saw her months later wearing one of my t-shirts I hadn't given her permission to take, and when I walked up and said Hey cool t-shirt, where'd you get it, I watched her squirm with guilt.

OH. That's never happened to me. I love my boy clothes!  :icon_shakefist:

Purging...  I always felt slightly guilty about it but growing up family members would give me girl stuff as gifts.  Never used them so eventually just got rid of them.   Now there was a few periods where I try to be more femanine...  in middle school grew hair out long and wore make up for a bit and even dressed slightly nice (still couldn;t get me in a dress though)  but the next year purged all that.

Recently about a year or 2 ago was doing some of the dressing up in skirt, and shaws but kept hair short, and no makeup...   in last year though haven;t touched it except for the Crochet poncho my stepmother made for me (can't stand to miss treat that) and a coat which I got which looks kinda cross a women's and pimp's coat lol..  I like fuzzy stuff and swade and was only thing could find like that that was long enough to block out the cold winter air in winter (I hate cold lol)  Not sure what to do with them now really.   Worth to much to be just disposed off.

Yeh not what you ladies meant (trying not to use my usual broad term of guys which use to refere to people)  As for purging male stuff, I tend to collect things, and cloths I may wear up to 3-6 years if really like them and still fit.  Only purge male cloths when either their to worn (to many holes to patch up) or lose interest in them.  I may not follow the fasion fads other guys and gals do, but I do have my own interests in cloths which change over time.

Been there, done that.... Never again. I got one of my friends to remind me who I am as much as possible. It tends to sober me up and make more of the thick glass in my head crack and leak more. It needs to be hit a lot... D":

I almost completely purged all of my female clothes a month ago, in fact went as far as to put everything on Ebay and try to sell them, but nothing was selling for anything closr to what I had paid for it some of my heels, boots were brand new as well as some of my clothes. I then cancelled all of the auctions. I was at one of those points of making a another decsion about continuing to transition. I had decided that I was going to stop for the sake of my son and that if I had alll those female clothes around it would be that much harder.

I then realized that those clothes were are part of who I truly am and I couldn't get rid of them. I then went on ebay and bought more.

It's been a crazy up and down rollercoaster, transition, don't transition until my sons 18. I know this is off topic and I am sorry, but right now is very difficuly for me. I just had surgey on my right foot and ankle and I can't drive, don't have a lot friends to take me places, so I have ton of time on my hands. I was somewhat ok with waiting to transition when my son turned 18, because I was busy everyday and didn't have time to think about it. I've been laid up for two weeks and I stuill have four more to go on crutches. I can't eben get to see my therapist, no way to get there, bus stop is to far away to get to on crutches.

Anyways that is enough whining out of me. Again I am sorry to get so far oof the topic. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Hugz to all,
Ariana

I am a huge pack rat, so it is very unlikely that I will ever really purge everyhing, maybe a few things here and there to make space, but not all at once.  :-*

I've never purged anything, but only because up until recently I had nothing to purge.  I can point to a few times where, had I had anything, I would have almost certainly purged.  Even now that do have clothes of my own, the only thing close to purging that I've done is getting rid of a few less-than-satisfactory items.  I'm looking forward to when I can purge all my male clothing

That I don't think a cross-dresser is as likely to purge as a True TS Person.

I wouldn't be so sure of that.  First, since there is no end point, no goal, lots of CDs think they can just get rid of it and ignore it.  Second I think that CDs feel a lot more guilt.  Third, I think that because the focus is almost exclusively on clothing, the CD may well have more to purge.

Quote from: Anisha on March 16, 2025, 07:59:37 PM
Does transexual purge???or only crossdressers purge?

For what it's worth: Do transsexuals purge? (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2693.msg22568.html#msg22568)

~Kate~

It's a good question. I wonder why you ask. It would seem anyone in conflict with any behavior might purge the things associated with that behavior. Ever have to replace a sex toy purge? That's an expensive one!
Sometimes it seems to me that categories are not very useful.

Quote from: Anisha on March 16, 2025, 07:59:37 PM
Does transexual purge???or only crossdressers purge?

With Regards,
Anisha

Almost everyone has from time to time. I did many times. I hated myself for being a self diagnosed pervert.

Cindi

I've tried, but my fiancee always gives me the "spent too much money on that to throw it out" lecture.  ::) go figure.

I've never accrued enough stuff to purge ever.. but never felt a desire to either.. If I suddenly purged now I'd have to be running about naked! lol!

Did that too many times, and once I finally started to accept who I am, someone wanted me to turn back to boy after 2 years on hrt... (yeah my belongings have been thrown away without my agreement...)

Twice. Guilt is a powerful force. It solved nothing.

I purged once during my teens. Never again.

Only reason I purged was the fear of getting caught.

I have MOST of my male stuff in a box. For some reason I'm not quite ready to get rid of them, but I want nothing to do with their contents at the moment.

Quote from: carol_w on July 25, 2008, 10:39:56 AM
Anisha,
We all purge (crossdressers and transsexuals alike)

Nope. Not true. 

Quote from: Anisha on March 16, 2025, 07:59:37 PM
Does transexual purge???or only crossdressers purge?

With Regards,
Anisha

Your question is far too blunt to get any meaningful response but.... I'm bored so I'm going to give it a go.

There is arguably only one kind of person that is "transsexual" because,  that word is a medical diagnosis. Cross dresser on the other hand is much harder to define. You can't really ask is purging a cross dresser only phenomenon because there are different motivations for cross dressing. A lot of cross dressers are sexually motivated. They have a paraphilic fetish, just like any number of other fetishists out there.  Others cross dress for other reasons. I personally believe the term "cross dresser" is a bit like using a chain saw when you need a scalpel. I dont think any question that opens with an implied relationship between two different phenomenon is going to yield helpful answers.

I've lost count of how many times I've purged. Each time I wish I hadn't purged, I go further towards transition. Today I spent all day looking up what I need to do to start a RLE in my state. There aren't many ways to get closer to transition than that, so I'd expect my next purge to be of the male clothes.

Purging is kind of a strange concept, it seems backwards to me. I'm not even going to buy anything until I can pass and when I do, there's no way I'm going to feel guilty about supposedly cross dressing and just get rid of all of my new stuff! Technically a trans person can't even cross dress until their gender is set since cross dressing requires you to be one gender dressing as another.

Yes and Yes

Prior to transitioning full time (especially when I thoughT I was a cross dresser , I probably purged a couple of times. Then when I transitioned into a full time female role, two cis girlfriends purged all my male clothes, even having a dinner where they shredded my last set of male pair of trousers one night with a pair of scissors. I seemed to remember the three of us got quite tipsy that night. I remember Aison saying that for next six months I only want to see you in a dress or skirt - not women's pants or jeans. I was very good and 6 months later Alison & Maggie celebrated again by going shopping with me and buying me some tight skinny jeans and womens denim shorts as well as my first bikini!

When I was forced to de-transition two years later , due to financial and family pressures, I always knew that one day the dysphoria would bit again (and of course it did), so I took out one of those storage spaces and locked everything up, vowing to always think twice or three times before I was mentally tempted or forced back by a resurgence of my dysphoria.  Over the years yes it cost me a bit, but when compared to constantly  buying clothes, make up, shoes etc , purging then buying again over and over , it was a lot cheaper and the best  way forward. Also because it took a real effort to unpack stuff and get access this in itself was a sort of control. In the end of course I am now back into a slow transition again, but now HRT  has taken much more of a hold and I am almost at that threshold of Male fails and more often being seen almost 100% as female. So these days I dress about 80% of my time as a woman and pretty much pass 100%. Mind you the extensive Lasaser and Electrolysis has helped plus having No Adams Apple, Small hands and small feet plus sloping shoulders has helped a lot.

I've purged quite a few times, loosing thousands of hard earned money... and then I did not have the amount and costs of what I own these days  ::) ... hmm maybe an inventory is needed  >:-) naa just kidding

Actually thinking about it kinda makes me sad, the fact that I felt I had too, although one was for a supposedly good reason, moved out to Australia... wish I hadn't purged then...  :P

L Katy  :-*

I've purged multiple times over the years. Definitely wasted a lot of money and threw away stuff I can't get back. I would like to have all those skirts I threw away. I was afraid I was going to be found out for each instance of purging but now I don't care. Plus, everyone knows anyway.

I have also purged, most of it was over the last couple decades, the one or two pieces I had that were making me feel good. The first time was as a teen, I threw out a whole mini wardrobe. Watching the garbage truck leave that morning was so awful. I knew I was throwing myself away. That's how it felt every time I threw out or donated something, like I was giving up hope.

Never again, there's no need, everyone I know knows who I am at last!

One piece of my teenage wardrobe may still exist. I can't recall what I did with my Mom's vintage 70's hip hugger bell bottoms. They're the first thing I ever wore in public. I hope hope hope that I just put them back in the attic at my Pop's house. I will be visiting my folks next week and intend to go looking for them. It would make my trip home that much more special.

I do not mean to stray from your subject but your topic made me remember a very funny line from the movie 'girls will be girls'.. when Evie told Varla she was "all binge and no purge"..   I love that silly movie.

Back to your topic -- I thought everyone purged their wardrobe at some point to some degree. But I learn something new everyday and how it relates to my sisters. I now see how it applies to every aspect of womanhood.

This has happened in stages for me. I am in my first five months! As soon as I Came out to me SO, I had a real aversion to my old clothes. Many I saw as my 'depression' clothes and they were the first to go. I have basically culled all my male clothing, with exception to two pairs of nearly new jeans and a couple of other pair of slacks, and a couple of shirts that I think that my son may want. I have a few summer wait shirts that I still wear as replacements that fit the acceptable style are hard to find. Acceptable is related to my agreement with my SO to take this slowly, so andro look is in. I am really looking forward to being able to look at my clothing and see 'female'! This is how I see myself. I am continuing down my path with care but also with a clear vision.

Quote from: islandgirl on March 18, 2015, 09:37:24 AM
This has happened in stages for me. I am in my first five months! As soon as I Came out to me SO, I had a real aversion to my old clothes. Many I saw as my 'depression' clothes and they were the first to go. I have basically culled all my male clothing, with exception to two pairs of nearly new jeans and a couple of other pair of slacks, and a couple of shirts that I think that my son may want. I have a few summer wait shirts that I still wear as replacements that fit the acceptable style are hard to find. Acceptable is related to my agreement with my SO to take this slowly, so andro look is in. I am really looking forward to being able to look at my clothing and see 'female'! This is how I see myself. I am continuing down my path with care but also with a clear vision.

If we're talking about purging male clothing then heck yeah! That purge has been great. Right after I accepted myself I had gotten enough panties that I threw out all my boxers. Then my hat. Then my shirts. I have some stuff that will be going to charity. I'm Out to everyone I know now so I have no use for the wrong clothes. Purging my male wardrobe from my wardrobe has been enriching!

In the past four years, I've had to purge 5 times, but not for typical purging reasons. I've been losing weight. I've gone from a 3X pant size to size 6 or 8 depending on the maker. Tops 3X to large or XL depending on the maker. My medicos are a bit concerned but my weight loss has been consistent and well with safe boundaries in terms of the time. And, I'm still 10 pounds over the lower boundary for my height. I will NEVER gain weight again. Even when I transitioned and was skinny, I looked great in a size 14, because I am tall (5' 10") but I love the new skinny me. It's so easy to buy clothes and I can get them anywhere I go. Nope. No more weight gain. With what I eat, it's easy. I am not even tempted by other foods anymore. It's not control, it's just easy. And the best part of all this is that I had type II diabetes for 14 years. Now, I show absolutely no indications in my blood workups for diabetes. I know it's still in there even though my doctor says I no longer have it. Nope. No more crap food, no more french fries, just good healthy stuff.  I eat all day long but snack on vegetables and nuts. I feel great!

Cindi

Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 15, 2015, 02:43:06 AM
Almost everyone has from time to time. I did many times. I hated myself for being a self diagnosed pervert.

Cindi

Very well put

Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 15, 2015, 02:43:06 AM
Almost everyone has from time to time. I did many times. I hated myself for being a self diagnosed pervert.

Cindi

Hi everyone ,may i asked a one question.please give me advice.i want to start hormone replacement tharaphy.but i don't know.what medicine i can drink.

I am a mtf transgender.