Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Now I don't intend for anyone here to bare their soul and confess in front of the whole world, please stay anonymous, but it would be good for everyone to simply vote, without leaving a comment if they are so inclined.

Personally I haven't lied to either one of my therapists or any of my doctors.

Steph

I haven't lied either.  I want to be happy and if they don't have the correct information, they can't treat me correctly.

Melissa

Same. If I didn't tell the truth, I couldn't be assured appropriate treatment.

Dennis

I have never lied to my therapist.  But now my medical doctor is an entirely different thing, I never tell the truth to her about how I feel or any reactions to medications I am on.

Sarah L.

No I have never lied to Dr. D.  how coud I? what for?  Lying to a therapist is the same as lying to yourself.


tinkerbell :icon_chick:


P.S.  love you my angel without wings   :angel: you know who you are!!  ;)

Straight out lying, no. I'm as annoying, honest and verbose with my therapist as I am with you all.

But I do often find myself trying to translate my feelings and ideas into her belief system, into terms she'll understand. I constantly fear that her misunderstanding me will prolong the wait for an HRT letter. Some of my ideas and views are controversial enough on here as it is... and although I think we're all saying the same things in different ways, I don't necessarily want to risk an HRT letter putting that to the test with her.

AND, I once feared that her idea of a "true TS" required a history of compulsive crossdressing and whatnot. I don't think so now, as she's assured me she knows "everyone is different." And yet, if it takes wearing panties to our meetings to prove what *I* already know to her, then I'm wearin' em ;)

After nearly 51 years of lying I don't want to lie to anyone ever again.

It's the disgust with the lies that I have lived and am living that is a main driver towards transition.

If you want your life to not work - fill it with lies.

helen

Ummm, what would one lie about?

Robyn

Quote from: reikirobyn on July 20, 2006, 07:36:52 PM
Ummm, what would one lie about?

Robyn

Well, for some of us who are a bit, shall we say, uncoventional, there is a lot to lie about, or rather, omit.
I mean, I can really see a therapist rushing to give consent for hormones after she hears that I love my p****.

Nero

NO, I will not lie. I may not tell all that I am think unless he ask.
Like Helen, I have lied to myself for 50 some years and I won't do anymore.
It wasn't worth it than and still isn't.
So NO not for any reason.
:)
Jillieann

Quote from: Jillieann on July 20, 2006, 08:12:23 PM
NO, I will not lie. I may not tell all that I am think unless he ask.
Like Helen, I have lied to myself for 50 some years and I won't do anymore.
It wasn't worth it than and still isn't.
So NO not for any reason.
:)
Jillieann

Agreed.

Chaunte

No lies from me. Esspecially yesterday when I knew I needed help.

Alice

No, No, and NO!!  how can I get help with my other issues if I lie to my theripist?  Im a really screwy person and I know it..... (nightmares, insomnia, depression, formerly morbid depression, formerly suffered from anxiety attacks....and the list continues....)  If I lied to her, about anything... One I think shes very perceptive and would be able to tell, and two, what would it really gain me in the long run.  LoL,  I have my referal, and I have my perscription... and Im makeing progress......

Truth never lies, and in the end Id rather be embarresed, or hurt by the truth than hide behind a lie.


<P.S.> it dosnt mean that I dont BS with people LoL, thats diffrent.

Mayhaps the question should be more along the lines of, "would you lie to your therapist if you HAD to in order to get a letter?"

Naturally, there's little motivation to lie if we trust our therapist's skills OR if we already have our letters OR if we're confused and trying to figure out if we're really TS or not. In those situations, the beneficial therapist/patient relationship is preserved and works well.

It's not as simple if you already know who you are and don't entirely trust that your therapist will reach the same conclusion. This creates the antagonistic "gatekeeper" scenario, where the therapy process is compromised by a need to please the therapist.

Would I have lied to get letters like they had to do back in the 70's and 80's where you had to fit their classic definition to get treatment?  I'm sure I would have, if that were necessary to treat my condition.  But this is modern times and I didn't need to.  Also, if there is still one of those therapists around, you can always find a better one.

Melissa

m not sure what the truth is. 

I would to get HRT. Or find it blackmarket. I'm no saint and it wouldn't harm anyone.

lying isn't going to get you anywhere.  they will spot you from a mile away anyway.  they know who is & isn't real.  haha ;)

Lying might get you letters, but you wont be any closer to your goals.  A therapist can help in your mindset, which is key to transition and inner peace.

Janet

I answered "no" because I've never needed to lie. Who I am is plainly a genuine, full-fledged transsexual and anyone can see that. All I need is to just be myself. I've never pretended to be girly-- because I really am girly.

Now, if they still had the rule that you have to be heterosexual to transition, then I would have faked having a boyfriend, because that rule was simply unjust and I would feel no moral obligation to observe it. Thank goodness that's obsolete now. So I can see no reason to ever lie about who I am.

Quote from: Nero on July 20, 2006, 08:03:05 PM
Well, for some of us who are a bit, shall we say, uncoventional, there is a lot to lie about, or rather, omit.
I mean, I can really see a therapist rushing to give consent for hormones after she hears that I love my p****.

This cracked me up. I read that last word as "penis" and wondered what the heck you were talking about, Nero. Then I figured it out. Duh.

It all goes back to the way I perceive you. I guess, despite my best efforts, I've been socialized to equate masculinity/maleness with penises. Sigh.

On another note, one of the big reasons I didn't seek counseling when I first came out as TG--other than the fact that I had been burned a couple of times in therapy and had sworn off it for life!--was that in those days a lot of therapists (perhaps most) were still operating under some rather draconian views having to do with childhood molestation, gay FTMs, and people who didn't necessarily want to go "all the way" with surgeries.

I was molested as a child, I liked men exclusively, and I was pretty sure I didn't want anyone monkeying around with my genitals, especially in those days when the state of the art was quite a bit more primitive than it is now. If I had gone into therapy then, I probably would have had to lie at every damn session. Literally.

I think it's wonderful and miraculous that I am transitioning--finally. And that I was able to find a therapist that I don't have to lie to.

But I haven't yet told my GP that I'm gay. That's next on my list of things to do.

To be perfectly honest, I might.
I might... omit certain things, stretch certain other things, reduce other things, try and get the T sooner than in a year...
Actually, I think it's near certain that I will.
I just, can't cope this way much longer.

I lied to my therapist at first. I fed him the standard "I'm a woman trapped in a man's body" line so that he would give me a referral for HRT, when in fact, I am an androgyne who identifies as both male and female (sometimes neither) and I have never truly felt that way at all. I simply knew that if I told the truth I would not get the hormones.

BTW, that was nearly 12 years ago, I am still on HRT, it has helped improve the quality of my life tremendously, and I have never had any regrets whatsoever about lying to my therapist in order to accomplish my goals. And yes, I did eventually come clean and tell him the truth.

yup, I lied. I told my phsychologist I was out at work and had been for a long time.
A whole year RLE is just far too much to ask of someone who's "obviously female", if not on first sight then as soon as he opens his mouth.

I lied to my first psychiatrist, sorta. I presented a really strong, confident air because I wanted him to prescribe for me, when I was anything but...because I felt like it had taken longer then I wanted to get the referral from my regular therapist to see him because I had been honest with her. I left with my scripts, but also feeling very, very alone. Friday I met a new one, someone to whom I didn't have to explain what the word Transexual meant before we could talk, and I didn't hold anything back. What's she going to do, take my hrt? Like hell.

There's something to be said for both sides, on the one hand the hoop jumping is silly for some, but necessary for others so what can we say? We are paying these people to care, why not give them the right information so they can care for the real person and not some made up individual? I'm not sure that it's possible to even imagine how hard this stuff is until you do it, and how quickly our male constructed, testosterone reinforced walls come tumbling down. I would think it would be worth it to have someone there who can see what's happening to the real you, not just some narrative you gave them.

I said no.
Hell.......I haven't even been to my, or any therapist in over a year.
I might go back for a 'tune up'..........mostly age-related crap.


Bev

Quote from: Becca on September 13, 2009, 12:32:28 PM
There's something to be said for both sides, on the one hand the hoop jumping is silly for some, but necessary for others so what can we say?

That's the reason I have by omission.  I spent over a decade trying to convince myself I wasn't TG/TS and couldn't possibly transition for reason of those differences from the standard story and was miserable for it, so when I was in a position where I believed that bringing that up would leave me where I'd been I wasn't very inclined to mention it.