Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey everyone, I wanted to share and compare hopes and dreams for a moment.  So if you could pull up a chair that'd be great!  ;D

I'm not exactly sure where I am in my physical transition, but I know that my mental transition is over.  With my Orchi coming up in a few months, I'm sure the physical part will be done soon enough, so I must be close to the end.  :laugh:

I live as a woman and I'm accepted as just another woman by all my peers in social situations.  And while at times I tend to look back and see how far I've come, or worry about my Orchi, I'm trying very hard to look forward, and envision my life maybe 5-10 years from now.  Where do you envision yourself when your transition is long over?  Or, if your transition is already over, did your hopes and dreams become reality?

For me, I'd like to have a good paying job, and be able to support myself (and any partner/children we have) in all my endeavors.  I'd like to be married, to a wonderful woman who shares my hopes and dreams, and vision for a more sustainable life.  I'd like for us to have a child, a daughter, either through in vitro or adoption, but probably adoption.  I'd like a small piece of land here in the North East, with a small cabin and some gardens for all of us to enjoy, and eventually build a small eco-friendly community for my friends and family, and my partners friends and family, and a few kittens  ;D.  I'd hope that every day would bring happiness and joy into my life, as is the case today, where I'd be able to enjoy the small things and treasure every waking moment.

Eventually, I'd like to see my daughter go off to college and watch her build her own family and achieve her hopes and dreams.  I'd like to grow old with my partner too, and know in my last moments that I lived a fulfilling life of joy, and was able to bring joy to others.

Jenn

I'm getting to an age where I'll be happy if I'm still alive in 10 years.  I'm older than Bernie Mac, and will be the same age as I. Hayes (later dude, you rocked!)  So I'm well aware that the old grim reaper could be hanging around the corner.  On the other hand my grandmothers lived into their 90s so hell I could have decades and decades and decades left. 

Oh its all so confusing.  But I'm going to see one son married next month, the second one graduate UofO this spring or summer, grandkids on the way.  Life is good.

Oh yeah, I would like to be able to work until I die, I'm afraid retirement would kill me, so I have to find something to do when I can't load trucks anymore.

Quote from: tekla on August 11, 2008, 10:56:40 AM
Oh yeah, I would like to be able to work until I die, I'm afraid retirement would kill me, so I have to find something to do when I can't load trucks anymore.

Travel?  Spend your time asking really deep questions about the universe?  I dunno, I certainly wouldn't want to work until I died.  If you can't have fun, what's the point?

I would like to have an SO, gender doesn't matter.  A couple of greyhounds and a place in the country.  I am a grandmother now so no kids, but I would love to see them.

Maybe we could pay an RV and tour the country.  Of course if Jay and I were together ( another thread ) then we could go to every amusement park in the country and we could write a tour guide to the greatest coasters in America.

Mistress Janet

I have been full time for about 8 months now, and will hopefully be done with FFS and SRS within the next few years, and right now my life is exactly where I want it to be. I have a great job that I love and that pays well. I am accepted by everyone who I care about, and those I don't as well. I have a lot of fun with my friends.

What I hope for the future is to someday (not any time soon) have 2 children, maybe three, buy a nice house where me, my wife (maybe husband, but I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian), and children live, continue to be active in my life and hopefully I'd found a girl who is just as active so that we live a long and fun life. I want to raise my children with love, give them the best chance for a happy life, and watch them grow up to be whatever they want to be. I hope I live a long life. I love life and don't want it to end. I value my life and the experiences I have had and will have and am kind of scared to die so I'm going to leave it at that...live for as long as I can and have fun for all the years I have left.

Finished with SRS and everything
Completed school
Paid off all student loans
Have a nice condo
Have a stable, awesome, well paying job in the game industry (thanks to completing school)
Be in a committed, healthy relationship/married

Hope y'all don't mind a boy replying here.

I plan on completing transition within two years after I finish school (that could be anywhere from six to ten years from now) or during school. After that, I'm going to get some sort of job, hopefully one I enjoy and can be successful at. I'm going to eventually (once I've got a stable place and some savings) look into adoption (if anyone will LET me adopt). I want a child or children (probably no more than two) but at this point I am not interested in a long-term relationship. If I meet someone in college, I doubt I'll stay with them. I might have an interest in finding love later in life, but it's not included in my plans now. After I adopt, I want to spend my time being the best father I can. I plan to travel, immerse myself in culture, experience the world, talk to as many people as I can. I want to feel what it's like to step across the border of my country (I've never left it before). I want to raise my kids right so that they will be independent, intelligent, and, most importantly, happy. After my kids are grown... well, I haven't planned quite THAT far yet. I might devote myself completely to writing if any of my talent remains.

So basically, I just want to live a real life. Just like everyone else here.

Well I am 34 years past transition/SRS and as ghastly as life was before, it has been GREAT since. I integrated easily and seamlessly and within a couple of years became FAR MORE as a person than I ever thought possible. I had my "wild years" (which did a great deal for my self-confidence), married (twice), and had a great career as one of the first women in a non-traditional field. I had hoped to have children but that never became realistic. I am not well off but I get by and I am now looking forward to retirement in a couple of years. The only thing missing is a S.O. to share my retirement with but I haven't given up hope.

I used to joke that I took my retirement up front when I could still enjoy it.

Travel?  Spend your time asking really deep questions about the universe?  I dunno, I certainly wouldn't want to work until I died.  If you can't have fun, what's the point?

I've been on every continent except Antarctica, lived and worked outside the US, toured with major rock bands (any more fun like that and I will be dead) and as for the deep questions, been there, done that, got the degree, know the answer.

And I do love working.  To me it is fun.

So I raised two good kids, married once (that's enough) and I try to ski a lot.  So I like it when people have plans, nothing worse than looking back thinking 'shoulda, coulda, woulda' and all that. 

No regrets.  There were things I might have done different if I had known, but not all that much, not all that many.

Would like to to to Antarctica I guess.  And run a base camp at Everest.

My transition should be complete by January, with T continuing its effects after that.  Surgeries completed and healed, and I should be passing fairly well.  Name changes etc. will be completed and I hope to have my passport then also.

The plan is to get on with the rest of my life.  I feel like I'm in a holding pattern, stuck on a treadmill until I get all of the steps completed.  Doctor appointments, therapy, paper pushing and name change filing, etc.  All while trying to raise two cool kids.

I just want to live the rest of my life as as the man that I am.

Six more months.  That's not very long at all in the grand scheme of things.

Hmmm.  Now when can I start training for that century ride??

Jay

Now when can I start training for that century ride??

Shouldn't you be working on that now?  I can do 40, 60 if I'm not going be riding the next day (which is rare) 100 is a long way, and a lot of training.

Quote from: tekla on August 11, 2008, 11:07:20 PM
Now when can I start training for that century ride??

Shouldn't you be working on that now?  I can do 40, 60 if I'm not going be riding the next day (which is rare) 100 is a long way, and a lot of training.

Can't until my surgeries are over, unfortunately.  Meantime working out the regular way.

Jay

Having been through and finished transition, my life now is not how I imagined it to be.

Before transition, I guess I had all the paranoia and normal fear that everyone starts out with. Passing was going to be utopia, acceptance was probably never going to happen and the rest of my life was going to be spent in lonely isolation, being ridiculed and an outcast of Society. Unable to do many of the hobbies and past times I had previously enjoyed.

During transition and going into Full Time, my feelings began to change. After starting hormones, having speach therapy, overcoming the whole coming out process and being the "novelty act" for a few months at work. Everything started to settle down into a kind of normality. Despite going through a painful divorce and other family issues, I started to change my perception of where my life was going.

I actually started to become sociable, confident and enjoy the company of others and this without the paranoia I had held about passing and being accepted. I made new friends, which have been deep meaningful friendships and many of those still remain today.

Looking back over the post op years, I know realize that being made redundant was a blessing in disguise (although it did not seem like that at the time). It enabled me to escape my transsexual past, by moving abroad, starting afresh and going to a place that I actually live in stealth.

I started a new job, travelled the World, went to many of the places I hade dreamed about, but never thought I would see (Kyoto, Mysore, Petra, Great Wall of China etc). I even resumed a sporting career that I had all but given up on and reached a level I never considered possible, when I played in two international tournaments in 2007.

Today I run my own business, I am my own boss, have wonderful home and American boyfriend (well thats a downside I know), great social life and do the one thing I had only ever wanted to really do in my life, just be me.

My relationship with my Father is something I know cherish, we are close friends, Father and Daughter as before we where never Father and Son, that just didn't work.

There are many things that transition has cost me, I will probably never see my sons again, never see them marry or see my grand children, I have lost a wife I actually loved deeply, but couldnt return that love when I could no longer bear the role of husband and father.

As we cannot change the past, we cannot predict the future. Our history is there to be written and I for one know realize how negative that woukd have been, If I hadn't transitioned or embraced my new life.

As for the future........ Its what I want to make of it.

Buffy

Having transitioned six years ago, there is no possibility I could have guessed I would be where I am today.  All the I-would-like-to's don't mean much after the fact.

I have dreams; they are nice. But yes, working a long time as I love it and that IS fun. Watching my children grow and their children at least get started.

Just walking along in my life. Nothing particularly special; but maybe that is all special is: enjoying one's own life.

Nichole

Well, I don't imagine life to be terribly different after SRS than it is now since I'm not really "waiting" on anything transition-wise, but just living life.  Right now I'm still dealing with my epilepsy, but doing just about everything else within my capability that I enjoy.  I've thought about eventually becoming a research scientist in the field of robotics, but for now I'm just doing this in my home.

I've already been in 2 musicals and taken ballet lessons which are some goals I had set with transition.  My latest thing I've taken up is learning to play the violin.  I think it's important to not let transition be something you have to wait for because that is only making it a self-imposed barrier.

Quote from: SarahR on August 11, 2008, 05:59:52 PM
I love life and don't want it to end. I value my life and the experiences I have had and will have and am kind of scared to die so I'm going to leave it at that...

SAaRRAAAHHH!!!!!!!11!1!1!!!  :icon_boogy:

Oh wow, did I tell you I'm the BIGGEST hypochondriac because I'm so happy now. I'm in a constant state of feeling like I have a terminal illness. I've had a million DVTs, one PE, HIV, MS, Diabetes, SARS, West Nile... (I'm not marginalizing those who have these awful illnesses, but my hypochondria is spiraling out of control!)

Anyway, on topic... Realistically, I see myself (if i live) concentrating on my work, hopefully making good money in law or climbing the corporate ladder. I want to have enough surplus $$ to be able to shop regularly (i LOOOooOOVveve shopping, it's therapy), have a nice house or townhouse somewhere in L.A., maybe a small business on the side, taking care of my dogs (maybe eventually adopt), giving back to LGBT organizations (especially youth), and I'd like to own an assortment or Porsches (dream fleet: a dedicated Porsche race car, a desert modified Cayenne, a Panamera, a Cayman, Boxster and either a Carrera S or Turbo) -- I'm a huge Porsche fanatic.

Pretty materialistic, yeah? Well... truth is, I'm pretty jaded on the love thing. I just don't think I will ever find the type of guy I'm looking for (meeting all my stringent criteria! LoL) and at the same time, accept my past. I just see it as too much of a stretch. Turns out, my ex wasn't even who he said he was...  :'(

So, I'm preparing myself to be alone the rest of my life, and dammit, I'm going to enjoy it!

Quote from: lacitychick21 on August 14, 2008, 11:44:39 AM
I just don't think I will ever find the type of guy I'm looking for (meeting all my stringent criteria! LoL) and at the same time, accept my past. I just see it as too much of a stretch. Turns out, my ex wasn't even who he said he was...  :'(

>:D So there are actually a few million men walking around in the LA Basin without breath or a pulse, luv??! :)

N~

BTW, Laci, great avatar!!

Quote from: Nichole on August 14, 2008, 11:50:53 AM

Quote from: lacitychick21 on August 14, 2008, 11:44:39 AM
I just don't think I will ever find the type of guy I'm looking for (meeting all my stringent criteria! LoL) and at the same time, accept my past. I just see it as too much of a stretch. Turns out, my ex wasn't even who he said he was...  :'(

>:D So there are actually a few million men walking around in the LA Basin without breath or a pulse, luv??! :)

N~

BTW, Laci, great avatar!!

OohhhHhHh!!! Are we talking necrophilia?! That sounds hot. A man like that will NEVER leave me! ...and I'll love him, and squeeze him, and hug him...

Thanks for the compliment, Nichole. I'm trying to lose more weight; I look fat in that pic, but I liked my makeup and the outfit. It was Halloween '07. I've since lost almost 15 lbs and hope to lose about 15 more. :) I'm almost there!

Quote from: lacitychick21 on August 14, 2008, 11:59:30 AM
OohhhHhHh!!! Are we talking necrophilia?! That sounds hot. A man like that will NEVER leave me! ...and I'll love him, and squeeze him, and hug him...

*is reminded of an old Bugs Bunny cartoon*

That sounds so gross Laci, but I don't judge, so to each their own.  :laugh:

BTW, the Porche collection sounds cool.

Jenn