News and Events => Opinions & Editorials => Topic started by: Shana A on August 14, 2008, 10:48:33 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Affirming Gender: Do transitioning spouses betray their partners?
Post by: Shana A on August 14, 2008, 10:48:33 AM
Post by: Shana A on August 14, 2008, 10:48:33 AM
Affirming Gender: Do transitioning spouses betray their partners?
August 4th, 2008
by SJordan
http://www.gayalliance.org/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=114&p=2500 (http://www.gayalliance.org/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=114&p=2500)
By Diana Lynn
Recently I was reading a couple's trans-blog and a wife wrote...
"We are vastly betrayed by having been led to feel that we knew the person you used to be and that you didn't trust us enough to let us know."
I certainly can understand how a spouse or partner could feel that way. In fact, for a long time I was fairly judgmental regarding my "sisters" who seemed to have had some sort of a midlife "epiphany" that they were actually women, with no apparent prior feeling that this was what they were. However, I'm beginning to rethink this.
August 4th, 2008
by SJordan
http://www.gayalliance.org/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=114&p=2500 (http://www.gayalliance.org/index.php?option=com_mojo&Itemid=114&p=2500)
By Diana Lynn
Recently I was reading a couple's trans-blog and a wife wrote...
"We are vastly betrayed by having been led to feel that we knew the person you used to be and that you didn't trust us enough to let us know."
I certainly can understand how a spouse or partner could feel that way. In fact, for a long time I was fairly judgmental regarding my "sisters" who seemed to have had some sort of a midlife "epiphany" that they were actually women, with no apparent prior feeling that this was what they were. However, I'm beginning to rethink this.
Title: Re: Affirming Gender: Do transitioning spouses betray their partners?
Post by: NicholeW. on August 14, 2008, 11:01:38 AM
Post by: NicholeW. on August 14, 2008, 11:01:38 AM
The topic is one that is a hard one to handle. We each have our opinions and I suppose, like all things in our lives, that as long as it doesn't involve murder, repression, abuse or some other violent and intentional act, that a bit of understanding might well be applied to both spouse and transitioner.
It is difficult to think that one can control that which she or he cannot. A lot of us spend years making that attempt, thinking we have "overcome" only to discover that some things are simply out-of-our-control.
I suppose it's all too easy for me to make a judgment about what someone else should have done and when. Easy because I haven't had to live their life.
Nichole
It is difficult to think that one can control that which she or he cannot. A lot of us spend years making that attempt, thinking we have "overcome" only to discover that some things are simply out-of-our-control.
I suppose it's all too easy for me to make a judgment about what someone else should have done and when. Easy because I haven't had to live their life.
Nichole
Title: Re: Affirming Gender: Do transitioning spouses betray their partners?
Post by: lisagurl on August 14, 2008, 11:36:45 AM
Post by: lisagurl on August 14, 2008, 11:36:45 AM
The biologist Richard Alexander has noted,"Evolution is surly most deterministic for those still unaware of it."
Bad idea to say that our motives are meaningful in a personal sense only because they are inexplicable in a biological sense.
Bad idea because it conceals the downsides of denying human nature; persecution of successful, intrusive social engineering,the writing off of suffering in other cultures, an incomprehension of the logic of justice, and the devaluing of human life on earth.
Bad idea because it makes our values hostage to fortune, implying that someday factual discoveries could make them obsolete.
Bad idea to say that our motives are meaningful in a personal sense only because they are inexplicable in a biological sense.
Bad idea because it conceals the downsides of denying human nature; persecution of successful, intrusive social engineering,the writing off of suffering in other cultures, an incomprehension of the logic of justice, and the devaluing of human life on earth.
Bad idea because it makes our values hostage to fortune, implying that someday factual discoveries could make them obsolete.
Title: Re: Affirming Gender: Do transitioning spouses betray their partners?
Post by: NicholeW. on August 14, 2008, 11:40:25 AM
Post by: NicholeW. on August 14, 2008, 11:40:25 AM
Quote from: lisagurl on August 14, 2008, 11:36:45 AM
The biologist Richard Alexander has noted,"Evolution is surly most deterministic for those still unaware of it."
Bad idea to say that our motives are meaningful in a personal sense only because they are inexplicable in a biological sense.
Bad idea because it conceals the downsides of denying human nature; persecution of successful, intrusive social engineering,the writing off of suffering in other cultures, an incomprehension of the logic of justice, and the devaluing of human life on earth.
Bad idea because it makes our values hostage to fortune, implying that someday factual discoveries could make them obsolete.
Well, I could only rate the essay a "5."
Had no idea that it's implications were quite that wide, Lisa!!
"To see the world in a grain of sand."
>:D