Susan's Place Transgender Resources

For most crossdressers, I think family is more important compared with other categories of gender minority. Although it is difficult, I have tried to make my crossdressing harmonious with my family. I know that my kids do not like my crossdressing, but they accept it anyway.

Recently I realized that crossdressing for daily life is more desirable and better than for occasional going out. In this case, chances of wearing bold fashion and makeup greatly diminish. For example, my first son does not like my wearing very short skirt, and I seldom wear it only when I meet my friends. Moreoever, my colleagues at workplace accept me better when I wear plain clothes for women. Most of female employees at my workplace wear plain clothes.

At the inistial stage of my crossdressing, I might need to wear bold fashion and makeup items to compensate for what I have not been able to do during the past. Now I think I have had enough, and I will seek ways for family-oriented crossdressing. I can express my femininity with plain clothes and makeup items such as flat sandals, capris and mascara. My little daugther sometimes says that I look like mom, and I hope that she will be able to remember that I indeed loved her despite my queer and funny appearance. I want to become an unusual, but competent dad. And, people will hopefully accept me as the norm in the near future.

Barbie~~

Seems a wise way to go, you seem to think through things and wind up at the right spot, so you will be able to pull this off too.

I'd have to kill someone if they took away my 3/4th princess seam blouses, spandex under shirts, and petite jeans/slacks, but I can live with just them for now. I have nothing else to wear now, anyway.

You are correct that there's the whole 'making up for...' bit. I feel it too. Of course I'm 22 and think 'Damnit, 18 year olds get to... and I never will, even if I transition.' Same way that so many people, myself included, can only sexualize femininity at first until we become more accepting of ourselves and realize that there's more to it than that. Feminine sex and skirts are just the glaringly obvious 'female' things.

As someone who came to terms with cross-dressing at about age 38, I feel like a lot of time has been stolen from me, but that might not be the right term. Maybe I can think of a better way to describe it.

The girls' fashions in the '80's were just so damned cute. While some of them seem to be coming back, the whole dress age-appropriate thing would seem to indicate that I could only ever get away with wearing such things in private, at a drag bar, or a costume party. Maybe I'm wrong about that, too.

I really haven't done much cross dressing lately, owing to the pot belly I'd like to get rid of first. As another board member here put it, I'd hate to look like a man in a dress.

But, another reason I haven't done much cross dressing is that I'm not sure how my kids would react and I don't want to creeep them out. One thing I've got going for me is that my youngest is 16 and my oldest is 19. Neither of them will be at home much longer, say 10 years at the most. So, I feel like I don't have to wait too much longer to avoid bothering them. Hell, I've waited this long.

don't feel too bad i've seen genetic girls who i'd swear were men in dresses. ;D


Warrior Princess Mickie

Hi Shades of Grey I have been a CD for 56 years. I am now 67. Since Ive retired plus my children have long left home I now live as a woman. I used to go out enfemme when ever the oportunity arose. traveling enfemme away from home. One idea u might think about is going wearing clothes that both men and women might wear with fully feminine `lingerie  pantyhose corselette etc You can even gro your hair a bit longer and have it styled  and dyed. Then when your children leave home dress enfemme more  openly
Once you start being a CD you usualy cant stop The first time out the door dressed fully enfemme you will sort of automaticaly begin to act like a woman Its fun and a delightful experience
Joanna

Quote from: Autumn on August 20, 2008, 05:46:02 AM
Feminine sex and skirts are just the glaringly obvious 'female' things.

Yes. At workplace or with my family, there are some items that I should avoid. Skirt and heels. As skirts and heels are so much feminine and forbidden, my desire to wear them is so strong. I can not wear them everyday, but fortunately I can do in some weekends. Wearing lipstick seems to be fine at my workplace, but probably not at home with my kids.

Barbie~~

Posted on: August 21, 2008, 01:12:34 AM

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Quote from: Shades O'Grey on August 20, 2008, 10:33:19 AM
I really haven't done much cross dressing lately, owing to the pot belly I'd like to get rid of first. As another board member here put it, I'd hate to look like a man in a dress.

In my case, I got rid of my pot belly about 6 years ago by running for ca. 40 mins every one or two days. It just took one or two months to decrease my waist size from 34 to 28 inch, but I do not expect most people can decrease the waist size so fast. Anyway, running slowly is a best. My wife and kids do not and can not complain at my regular exercising. Nowadays my wife also began exercising.

Yesterday night, I went out downtown with my colleagues to drink and chat. I wore very short denim pants with white sneakers. It hardly covered my private part, but one female colleaugue admired my legs and pants. She even suggested that we should go to a nice and large restaurant because I wore so much pretty short pants and I should show my wearing the pants to more people. A problem is that even women do not wear such short pants at my workplace. I sometimes wear it at home with my kids, but no problem. Another male colleague confessed me that, when he first saw me, he thought I am a woman, and later asked people about the beautiful woman, and disappointed.

A few of my colleagues suggest me to wear 'full' dress at workplace. I replied that most people will critisize me. Then, they replied that all people know my crossdressing, and what's the matter. I am afraid of it, but I progress little by little by checking responses to my new fashion item. Wearing deep red lipstick initially caused a little disturbance, by now seems to be O.K. As my little daughter says I look like mom when I wear lipstick, I will avoid it at home.

Barbie~~

I wear skirts and camis or a blouse around the house all the time. My son is okay with it and my wife accepts my dressing. I feel complete when I crossdress and I have gotten compliments from strangers.

Gennee

:)

Quote from: gennee on August 21, 2008, 09:11:19 PM
I wear skirts and camis or a blouse around the house all the time. My son is okay with it and my wife accepts my dressing. I feel complete when I crossdress and I have gotten compliments from strangers.

Gennee

:)

It sounds surprising, but not impossible. Eventually can I be like you? I am not sure, but probably not.

Barbie~~

Hi Barbie -

I think you're right. Family is important, perhaps more important to CD'ers because we make the liberty to express our feminine side more frequently and obviously than other males.

Shades, there are many places you could go out to and have a night without running into the kids.

Quote from: tekla on October 07, 2008, 09:41:55 AM
Shades, there are many places you could go out to and have a night without running into the kids.

That's true. I guess I'm still a little shy about the whole CD thing in public. I know, I'm probably just being silly. I should probably just do it. But, there it is.

Not to be a bad influence - though its kinda my purpose in life I think - but you are here, in the Bay Area, where you have a lot of options, choices, and chances, ones that others could only dream of being in a place not only so accepting, but also a place that has places to go from support groups, to events, to marches to dance clubs and shows.

Quote from: tekla on October 07, 2008, 10:01:13 AM
Not to be a bad influence - though its kinda my purpose in life I think - but you are here, in the Bay Area, where you have a lot of options, choices, and chances, ones that others could only dream of being in a place not only so accepting, but also a place that has places to go from support groups, to events, to marches to dance clubs and shows.

You aren't being a bad influence...now.

At this point, I'm saving up some cash for an outfit and some makeup. I can have a 5 O'clock shadow 20 minutes after I shave, so I want to learn to use makeup to cover that. I have the blue-grey hue my face has.

We  just moved and our rent is $100/month higher than it was before. So, it'll take me a little longer than I hoped; cash is real tight now. But, I hope to be going out en femme soon.

Well let me know, I go out all the time and kinda keep up on what the scenes going on are, who goes and how safe/weird/accepting/expensive they are.

Quote from: tekla on October 07, 2008, 11:08:42 AM
Well let me know, I go out all the time and kinda keep up on what the scenes going on are, who goes and how safe/weird/accepting/expensive they are.

Thanks, Tekla.

Nowadays, my little daughter (4 year old) talks like "Daddy, are you a man or a woman?" "My dad is a man" "Daddy, do you like sister?" "Dad is pretty"

I do not understand fully what she means. I guess some girls and boys in the playground talked about me in front of my daughter. Fortunately, my wife does not make an issue about this.

Barbie~~

Gender roles are learned.  I think what it means is that she is learning about gender roles and is exhibiting the natural curiosity of a 4-year old.

My daughter is very interested in her fashion. Everyday she changes her clothes several times, and mom grumbles. In the morning, she chooses clothes she wants and usually argues with mom. She likes tights, and I suspect she was impressed by my wearing athletic tights. My two sons were not so much interested in fashion at age 4.

Unlike her brothers, she likes dolls very much. My first son also once liked barbie dolls at age 4, but it did not last long once he went to pre-school.

I think it is a half nature, and the other half nuture.

My daughter likes pulling down and playing with my long hairs.

Barbie~~

i dont think any1 should have the rite to tell me what 2 wear. i wear wha i want skirts tube tops heels wherevar whenevar.