Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I have been often thinking about meeting a therapist. But somehow, I can't seem to think what way I should talk to the therapist.
I am pretty introvertish and its usually real hard foe me share my feelings and its even harder for me to talk about me being a transgendered. And thinking about talking about it, even to a counselor, makes me feel a little scared and insecure. Not sure whether this is the right place or is something that has been discussed quite a few times, how should I got about getting in touch with a therapist, discussing my issues and what should in look for while searching a therapist.

On another note, if someone can recommend a good therapist in Indiana area, it would be great.

Angela, I don't live in Indiana so I can't help you with a recommendation, but when I called my therapist for the first time, I came right out and said that I wanted to work on GID issues. He knew right away what my main focus would be. If you find a specialist, maybe you can do the same thing to sort of get the ball rolling. Heck, I guess you could do it with a therapist who doesn't specialize. Once s/he knows what your main issue is, that can be the icebreaker, and s/he can sort of guide you along from there.

Quote from: AngelaRedd on August 24, 2008, 12:37:36 PM
I am pretty introvertish and its usually real hard foe me share my feelings and its even harder for me to talk about me being a transgendered. And thinking about talking about it, even to a counselor, makes me feel a little scared and insecure.

I hear ya on this--I had (well, I'll be honest, still have) problems with this. In fact, when I posted "Ambivalence about therapy" over on the FTM Transsexual board, I went there--and not this therapy forum--for a reason. I felt so insecure about posting where lots of people were likely to see my musings that I couldn't do it. I needed to feel the security of a bunch of transguys around me. And all I was doing was saying that I had mixed feelings, stuff like that. I was grateful that nobody saw fit to move that thread, but now I don't really care who reads those postings. So I guess I'm making some progress.

I think that when you find a good therapist, s/he will do what mine is doing--he puts me at ease, doesn't push, lets me work my way around to stuff sort of peripherally, and acts more like a guide than anything else. I've had five sessions and have said very little about gender as yet. He knows how hard it is for me, and he is soooo great about it.

It's hard as hell at first, but the right therapist will understand.

I hope you find someone you can talk to.

The nice thing about a therapist is that they are a neutral 3rd party.  They listen and don't judge.  I can dump stuff on them I could never say in real life.  And in doing so it does help me to learn how to phrase things, awkward things and I do find myself being more open IRL.

Think of them as people to whom you can vent your spleen with no fear of reprisals.  It feels good to dump ->-bleeped-<- and let it go.

Jay

It's scary for everyone. It took me until quite recently (5 months or so) before I could really start speaking my mind without getting terribly nervous.

Saying "I am a cross-dresser", then "I am transgendered" were the two hardest things I ever said.  When I went to my first therapist for "depression", I could not even say the word crossdress, I had to write it on a piece of paper and push it across the desk.  I, too, am introvertish and find it difficult to discuss my feelings with people.  And this was such a secret, a top secret, so highly confidential, that if I even thought it, I had to kill myself.  Which I did, twice.

The good news is, if you can tell these things to someone that you trust will not judge you, the relief is life-changing.  And the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Give it a try.  Find several therapists near you that state that they work with gender issues (usually means gay),
make an appointment, talk for an hour, pick the one makes you feel the most comfortable, and go back.

Carol

"In our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God."

The first time I said, "Frack it, I'm a man," I really hesitated. It was hard to say that, because my body always told me I wasn't.

Which part of the state are you in?  I go to a great one in Bloomington but there is no point in mentioning her if that is to far from you. 

Kara,

I live in Downers Grove.  That's a western suburb of Chicago in DuPage county.  I've been to Bloomington, it's a nice town, but a bit far to see a therapist.

Thanks so much for the thought.

Carol

I'm sure that the Chicagoland area has a bucketful of good people to talk to.

There is a list of therapists by city and state here:

http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html (http://www.drbecky.com/therapists.html)

Thanks for the replies  :)
I live in central Indiana (Lafayette) so a local therapist or one in Indianapolis would probably be best. Bloomington isn't too far off too if the therapist is good :)
And Thanks for the list Glenda... that's a pretty comprehensive list.

Thank Dr. Becky.  And you're welcome. :)