Susan's Place Transgender Resources

 A question for mtf's.........when did you first dress female?

11-15

But it wasn't a full outfit and it wasn't for the same reasons. I thought it was a sexual problem, but it only manifested itself that way...


So I could also say 19, cause this year was the first time I had actually worn ALL female clothes...

Do you mean when did I first dress as a female and go out in public?

Or do you mean when did I wear women's dress in private?

In private, when I was an early teen.

In public when I was 46.

Whew.  That was a long wait!

mine was about 4 years old if you mean first time outings with female clothing, by the time i was 8 i dressed alot.

16 i was thrown out of my house(dear daddy i love you) and had my full wardrobe that age.

I voted 0-5. I think I was four or five. I remember it was before kindergarten.

I was either 15 or 16.. I wasen't really dressing in girls clothes to dress as a girl.. I was "emo" so the girls tee's and tight fitting pants were totally in..

First time about 9-10, and Mom never knew.  First time in public was about 25 years ago and I was scared to death.  First time in public without fear after my makeover about a couple of months ago.  And Now every chance I get, and in about 20 days ever damn day.

Janet

I was somewhere in the 6-8 range when I first dressed in private. The first time I went out dressed in public was Halloween, I was around 19 or 20 then. It just felt so right!

Z

The first time that I dressed as a female was when I was 11. I did it for quite awhile until I hung up one of my mom's dresses wrong then I got busted. I didn't dress again until after I turned 29 and there is no looking back now.

I first fantasized about dressing up was when I was 6 or 7.

I first did it (in private) was when I was 12 or 13. That was the first time my parents left me alone for long enough.

I first dressed in public .... uh, I'll tell you when it happens.  ;)

No, I never went out as a girl at Halloween. I would have loved to, but I was afraid everyone would realize I enjoyed it.

before kindergarden, so before five, was doing full outfits by the time I was 8-9, started going out when I was 15, but was wearing skirts frequently then anyway.

I guess my first experience was around 8...
..but it took another 13 years before I got as
far as shopping in the high street!...

My family moved when I was 5. I don't remember too much about living in the apartment before that, only snippets here and there, and nothing about dressing up or anything. The earliest I remember was when we moved, so at like 5 or 6 was the first time. From then on I would do it every time I had the house to myself and every night until the age of 12 or so. After that I would stop, trying to suppress the feelings, then start up again until the age of 19 or so when I finally found out about transsexuality.

My first time dress female I was about 4 or 5 I wore my sister night gown. It was nothing fancy a pink flannel with some lace and ruffles. I got caught that time by my sister and she didn't say anything probably because she wouldn't want dad to find out back then because he was a mean person. I been dressing female in private regularily since I was 6 only gotten caught 3 times plus the one previously mention.

First time in public I was 24 or 25 I wore a green jumper dress to a 24 hour grocery store about ten at night had no problems. The last time was out was a few months later I stop at a Gas station near my house at night to get a pop out of the vending machines and some people pull into the station and a guy started approach me so I hurried back to the car drop some change the guy went to pick up the change and I was just worried so I drove over the parking thing with the left side of the car I was trying not to run over the parking thing. My thoughts leaving the station was it somebody I knew, did they recognized me, and did I run him over( I checked later to make sure I didn't). I only been out in public 3 times and that was the last time it has been 9 or 10 years since I been out in public last.


Anna

I'm surprised by the number of people whose "first time" was when they were 10 or less.

If you don't mind my asking, what were the circumstances? I mean, did your parents dress you up as a girl? Or did you do it in secret? And if you did it in secret, how did you manage it??

When I was that age, there was no way I could have done that secretly. My parents kept too close a watch over me. At that age, all I could do was look at the girl's clothing section of the Sears catalog and dream.

Quote from: MarySue on September 07, 2008, 05:10:47 PM
I'm surprised by the number of people whose "first time" was when they were 10 or less.

If you don't mind my asking, what were the circumstances? I mean, did your parents dress you up as a girl? Or did you do it in secret? And if you did it in secret, how did you manage it??

When I was that age, there was no way I could have done that secretly. My parents kept too close a watch over me. At that age, all I could do was look at the girl's clothing section of the Sears catalog and dream.

OK in my case it was in secret, starting more as a facination with one or two items of clothing on rare occasions, although I do know of freinds who were cross-dressed for school produtions or events by their parents at an early age. I had the opportunity once at school at about 10, but refused in a macho manner, as I was scared people would find out I actually would like to do it.

I think many parents accept being local to their child is good enough once they have been at school a year or so, and will check that they are OK wilth a call (without making visual contact every time), if they believe they are in a relatively safe place and playing.

In terms of the Sears catalog (or similar in different countries), I doubt that there are many of us that haven't seen this as a source of dreams at one time or another.

In terms of the Sears catalog (or similar in different countries), I doubt that there are many of us that haven't seen this as a source of dreams at one time or another.

Yeah, toys, guns and lingerie and dresses, what more could a kid ask for?

One, I grew up in a big house with a large (2 acres) yard, so there were always places to hide.

Two, I was a nighthawk by the age of 7, I could stay up long past my parents.  I guess that's why I love my work when I get to sleep till 2 and not have to be in till five or six.  Really, I love the dawn, but I would rather be up to watch it, as opposed to getting up to watch it.

Three, I wasn't on the honor roll just because I could do math puzzles so well.  It was not that hard to out think my parents.

Four, I got caught.  A lot.

I voted 0 to 5 because there was a picture of me at maybe a year of age in a beautiful yellow dress. I have no idea how that came about but I look happy as can be in that picture.

The first time I dressed unmistakably female in private was probably about age 9 and by 15 I was living part time en femme.

Posted on: September 07, 2008, 07:55:19 PM

---

Quote from: MarySue on September 07, 2008, 05:10:47 PMI mean, did your parents dress you up as a girl?

In the picture I mentioned, they must have.

QuoteAnd if you did it in secret, how did you manage it??

I stole clothes from clothes lines and from my cousins - my sister was too much younger (and smaller).

When I started living en femme, I would either dress in my bedroom and slip out the window or dress at a friend's house.

I got my skirt today along with a bra that actually fits, and it was the most scary mall trip ever.

I was alone in that one...

My parent divorce when I was five and for a year or so I shared a room with my sisters. So it easy to go upstairs and wear clothes. Later I got move into my own room I would take sisters clothes and hide them in my room. I did get in trouble for hiding clothes I told mom that I was hiding because I was mad at my sisters. I stop for year and half when I was 7 and 8 because of incident. Later I could just miss school and dress up.

Anna

Quote from: MarySue on September 07, 2008, 05:10:47 PM
I'm surprised by the number of people whose "first time" was when they were 10 or less.

If you don't mind my asking, what were the circumstances? I mean, did your parents dress you up as a girl? Or did you do it in secret? And if you did it in secret, how did you manage it??

When I was that age, there was no way I could have done that secretly. My parents kept too close a watch over me. At that age, all I could do was look at the girl's clothing section of the Sears catalog and dream.

In the early years it was mostly in private like at night where I would go to bed and change from the PJs into either a nightgown or just some undies. Other than that, it was when I was home by myself when I got the chance. That was mostly in the later years closer to 8-10 years old and beyond. I got caught by my brother at age 10 or so and had suppressed it a little after that, but it eventually went back to the same as before.

I was about 4 and I went to the neighbors house to play with their daughter. We went up to her room to play house and I put on one of her yellow dresses to play. Her Mom came in the room and made me change. She told my parents and after that my dad beat, verbally humiliated and sexually abused the sissy out of me. I didn't dress again until about 12 or 13.

It wasn't easy surviing being a soft boy. But then all of us know that.

11-15

I'm pretty sure thats when I started dressing.  Unfortunately I have no sisters, so I was forced to raid my moms closet.  I must of looked funny in the outfits I wore heh.  Before that I just felt like I was a girl but I don't think it manifested into dressing until later.

Very good question.

I know it was sometime between 11 and 15. I remember dressing up in my sister's clothes a lot after school.

the very first times i remember dressing up in female clothes was when i was at around 5-7, i did it secretly. and now i'm full-time female. i go out in public dressed as a girl .-.
no one notices that i'm transgender, which is great!

One of my earliest memories involves me wearing this little fuzzy white cardigan at about 3 that my mom had dressed me in and how pretty it made me feel. Not a female item of clothing per se probably but it did make me feel quite girly. Then at about 5 I remember posing in front of the mirror like the bikini models on TV, twisting my clothes and yanking up my underwear to make it more closely resemble what I saw; my grandma found me out once but said nothing, just sternly advised me not to let anyone other than my mother or herself "touch my behind" :icon_redface: I was pretty scared of being found out after that (feminine behaviour was met with disapproval) so I don't remember any more of my mirror sessions until later on, at about age 7 or 8. Then abuse happened and I recoiled from any kind of dressing until about 13 when I discovered the dirty clothes pile and it was back to mirror sessions. Mostly underwear, since I started getting seriously bummed about my appearance from 10 on and thought myself an ugly, crazy misfire of life all my adolescence. Then 21 came and I discovered that other people dressed, bless the internet, and some even (gasp!) transitioned to living full time. Then moving to the other hemisphere with just a suitcase happened so I never actually went out fully dressed until 24 and shortly before deciding to transition. Not long after that, I got on hormones.

Gah... that was long.. sorry!

I was about 7. My mom made me wear a dress, pantyhose, heels, and a bra to see how it would look on my sister as a present. Well I loved it alot. Then another time when my sister an I went trick or treating and we switched costumes to re visit houses and get more candy(My idea, a year ago)I liked being a cheer-leader! Ever since then I have been doing it. Then just this past year(Im so giddy) She had me try on her prom dresses at the store for size reference; I made it akaward when I asked to wear pantyhose and heels to make it more realistic.  :P she said no, but I insisted and I stuffed a bra to make it look more realistic. I come out of the room wearing a dress much like this http://www.camdendrive.com/orange-prom-dress-L3779.html (http://www.camdendrive.com/orange-prom-dress-L3779.html)
And who do I see near me? A girl from school. all she said was "I like your heels they match your dress" :embarrassed:

 I remamber being like 4 and a friend and I were playing dress up and when we left her room her family laughed at me and i changed and went home crying. ever since dressing has made me depressed. i don`t dress female anymore and may never again. But I am changing my body to be one though. Well, maybe girls pants and tank tops.

Quote from: MarySue on September 07, 2008, 05:10:47 PM
I'm surprised by the number of people whose "first time" was when they were 10 or less.

Well I for one thought the question was how many years ago did you first dress and that was less than five years ago for me, about age 20 or 21. I didn't get around to dressing until I figured I was transsexual. Now I'm of two minds, because on one hand, I would like to have nice size breasts, but on the other hand, bras really annoy me.

Apparently I was running around in my female cousin's clothes when I was 3, but I don't remember that.
The first time I consciously recall making the decision to wear girl's clothes was when I was five - helping myself to my sister's wardrobe.

Hi
I remeber 4-5, I took my (2yr older) sisters dress into the toilet and tried it on. Didn't know why. Throughout 9-16 regularly at home, caught a number of times ( see separate threads). At University fairly regulsrly in public, but jeans and T - mainly unisex. Went to Australia and full time outside work but not public. Now full time outside work and increasingly in public. 2009 resolutions, start electrolysis/ laser. Maybe hormones.

Cindy James

Make believe, earlier in my life when I was a kid I plaid a lot of pretend games. I was a loner and an outsider so I had a lot of time to play imagination games and some of those games included playing being a girl, stole clothes and dressed up where ever I could where I thought no one would find me.

I also remember on occasion during my preschool years I had long hair my mom would put ribbons in it and dress me up in a dress. I beleive that was something common in those days, I never realy asked about it though. I also use to play house and dress up occasionally with the neighbors daughter and I would get dressed up for tea parties. Unfortunately this all ended by the time I was 7 years old when someone decided I was getting to old to be playing with girls or something like that.   

At the time I thought I was just playing pretend, no different then any of the other pretend games I played. Until I got into my early teens I discovered my interest in girls had changed and it had nothing to do with physical sexual attraction.I was deeply and secretly envious of these girls and some times to the point of hurting and crying for the need to want to be a girl.

During my teen I buried up with this girl, tom boy and cast away like me. We ran together for 5 years and had a few scrapes with a local policeman who kept threatening to throw us in the drunk tank. I remember one night he brought both of us to my moms house, mom had never met Helen yet. The nice officer pushes us ahead of him into the house and takes his hat off with his left hand and says to my mom. You know mam, you shouldn't be letting your two daughters run around about town loos like this by themselves this late at night. That cop became our best ally.

I also ran away from home when I was 15 years old and ended up living in a commune with the Hippies for nearly two years. I passed quite well as a girl back then, my hair was butt length wearing unisex clothes and I was housed with the girls, did the cooking and housekeeping along with the rest of the girls. Did arts and crafts and also went down town a group of us at a time to sell our wears. There aren't to many days go by that I don't wish I had known about transitioning way back then.

Cindy

Hey Y'all

         The first time for me was when I was 7 or 8, my sister's underware. I pretty much wore them all the time. Wearing them made me feel like, at least a small part of my outside matched the way I felt on the inside. I got caught when my brother and I got into a fight in the car on the way home from the store. Mama marched us into our room for a spanking. She insisted that we drop our pants but I pleaded with her not to make me. Finialy I had to. Mama freaked and a spanking turned into a beating. With her screaming at me,"Never let me catch you doing this again!" and me sobbing,"I just wanted to know how they felt." and "I promise, I wont do it again." Of coarse y'all can imagine that was just the beginning. Mama never punished me like that over "the phase I was going through" again. Thirty plus years later, while talking about the episode, after telling her of my plans to transition, she said she freaked because she was terrified of what my homophobic, self centered, bigoted father would do, if he found out.

                                                                     Always Love,
                                                                     Heather Rose

quite young, i remember stealing one of my mums dresses to pretend it was a robe for some wizard game me and my sister played. Tbh, i didnt really care for it much, i hated how i looked, and i never felt right wearing girls clothes in a boys body. First time i really actually wore all girls clothes? i was just 20, and it was after 3 months hrt :P

I wore a dress for the first time when I was 5 or 6 and really liked it (I was around one of my families houses). Then I didn't do it again until last year in about November (though I wore bits and bobs of female clothing (like long socks, gloves etc.)...though I did often wish I could wear women's clothing from about 2004-last year.

Using Imagination to help you in transition.

I always enjoyed, actually lived for attention for as far back as memory can reach. I loved doing the clown act and get people to laugh, I still do. I thrive on it!

Now this brings us to about twelve years ago, when GID reared its head to where it ran rampant, out of control, if you know what I mean. It was around that time I began my first tentative steps into the real world in the female gender role. But my using imagination as a way to escape from reality and live as myself in imagination helped me to find who the inner-self was.

You may read the rest of my story in my blog bellow.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,44860.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,44860.0.html)

Cindy

I imagine folks who did not have a sister were not able to dress until they grew old enough to wear their mother's clothes.  I'd be interested to see a cross reference with age of dressing versus sisters or no sisters.

Please .... a "->-bleeped-<-" thread ?

Sure I played about with clothes, make-up, and "stuff" when I was a youngster ... mom's clothes and things.

But as I got older it wasn't at all about clothes, but about identity and how I wanted people to see me ... clothes were peripheral.

As I am now I live in my jeans, but really enjoy shopping for clothes and accessories that I rarely have a chance to wear ...

C'est la vie ...

Laura x

Sorry Laura
I didn't take this as a ->-bleeped-<- thread, more of a when did you realise you were TG, even if you didn't understand the concept at the time.

Cindy J

So you never wore boy clothes? Would have been cross dressing then by your definition.

I don't think anyone was asking if you cross dressed. They were asking when the first time was you dressed in female clothing.

actually i first dressed fully as a woman when i went to femmefever in long island,and that was about seven years ago.but i had been underdressing for longer than that. :icon_birthday:phylisanne

I was in Long Island 7 years ago but I was already full time fem, that was where I met a very good friend, one I miss very much, wonderful lady. I only pray that my partner and I can make it back out east to Long Island to visit. But then I have good friends in Tennessee and North Carolina as well as mid and southern Ontario.

The earliest I can remember I was still preschool, 3 years old.

Back in December 1995 when I was just 12.

Sometime in my early teens in the early '70s and then on and off from then

Somewhere around 6-7 I think I "borrowed" mom's bras and hose, the when a bit older some dresses.  First put it all together as a "girl" when 13, then off and on through teen years and then not for a long time.

I discovered a pretty red satin dress and I had to try it on. I was only abou 4 or 5 years old. I still love red satin.

Started when I was very young, about 4 or 5.

I got really shouted at by my Dad for it, the only time he ever used to lose it with me!

My Mum then sent me very young to a Child Psychiatrist because of it. Don't remember much but I've always favoured an androgynous look since my teens so maybe he brainwashed me or something... :)

Imaz, Sorry but I got a chuckle out that. Sent to a shrink? I have an acquaintance in SLC Utah, Deborah/malcolm who grew up in a small town in Ohio. He would dress and go out at night when nobody was around. He was afraid if he got caught they would send him to an asylum and administer electroshock therapy.

Quote from: Genevieve Swann on February 27, 2009, 08:26:24 AM
He was afraid if he got caught they would send him to an asylum and administer electroshock therapy.

I had that same fear.  Electroshock and pre-frontal lobotomies were quite the rage when I was growing up.  It was the cure for *everything* until they came up with mood altering drugs.

And at that time trans-anything was gay and gay was something that could be fixed.

I was terrified.

-Sandy

Sandy, When I was 18 years old I worked at a mental hospital and we had two guys who they had given lobotomies. One had to be helped to go to the bathroom.The other spent most of his time masturbating and drooling. Both were confined behind bars. It was cruel and unusual punishment. Lobotomies are now illegal for good reason.

Quote from: Genevieve Swann on February 27, 2009, 08:26:24 AM
Imaz, Sorry but I got a chuckle out that. Sent to a shrink? I have an acquaintance in SLC Utah, Deborah/malcolm who grew up in a small town in Ohio. He would dress and go out at night when nobody was around. He was afraid if he got caught they would send him to an asylum and administer electroshock therapy.

Hehe! Didn't want to come across as being post lobotomy!

Never had ECT or medication, I was lucky that even back then the shrink realised that it was my Mum that was crazy. As regards all that Gay business I grew up with everyone thinking I was Gay. Well I was Gay in that I preferred girls but that wasn't exactly what they meant.

Gay cannot be "fixed" to the best of my knowledge. Something I don't understand is why so many people assume a crossdresser is gay when most are straight, married, have children and are still in the closet. Those are the statistics anyway.

---

Post Merge: February 27, 2009, 09:37:00 AM

---

Sandy, As far as crazy family members, my mother has been in lockdown for intensive therapy. My sister has multiple personality disorder. They have names and talk to each other. It's rather entertaining. At least she will never get lonely.

---

Post Merge: February 27, 2009, 10:38:21 AM

---

Sorry I meant imaz not Sandy.

Quote from: misty on August 29, 2008, 07:07:46 PM
A question for mtf's.........when did you first dress female?

I don't even remember.  I was too young.  It's always been part of my life.  I'm guessing that before I knew I was 'a boy' and not supposed to be a girl, dressing in feminine clothes was normal and therefore not something that would be vividly burned into my memory.

I do remember coming to an awareness that the way I like to dress and present myself was considered wrong.  I was about five then.  But it still took a couple of years before I had a better understanding that there would be a heavy price to pay if I continued to act or dress femininely.

Julie

I never did, at least not fully, in fact I did all I could to avoid it.
I didn't want to know what feelings it would aise and what it would mean.

Quote from: Ava Nieves on February 04, 2009, 08:56:55 PM
Back in December 1995 when I was just 12.

Quote from: imaz on February 27, 2009, 07:48:08 AM
I got really shouted at by my Dad for it, the only time he ever used to lose it with me!

My Mum then sent me very young to a Child Psychiatrist because of it. Don't remember much but I've always favoured an androgynous look since my teens so maybe he brainwashed me or something... :)

I neglected to mention I first dressed feminine at the age of 3 (in 1986)--my mother didn't really pay any attention at the time.

Then in 1995, my mother was downright mad and caught me in her underwear while I was in a relationship with my first girlfriend (Amanda) in front of my then five-year old dog, three-year-old cat, and two-year-old dog.

Eight years later, at age 20 in 2003 (now with my mother deceased,)  I dressed as a woman named "Ava" for Halloween and that was when I realized I started to live full-time (but did not completely go full-time until I turned 21) as a woman. The next month, I was in a psych ward where I was diagnosed as a transsexual (Gender Identity Disorder.)

Quote from: Ava Nieves on February 28, 2009, 09:37:31 AM


I neglected to mention I first dressed feminine at the age of 3 (in 1986)--my mother didn't really pay any attention at the time.

Then in 1995, my mother was downright mad and caught me in her underwear while I was in a relationship with my first girlfriend (Amanda) in front of my then five-year old dog, three-year-old cat, and two-year-old dog.

Eight years later, at age 20 in 2003 (now with my mother deceased,)  I dressed as a woman named "Ava" for Halloween and that was when I realized I started to live full-time (but did not completely go full-time until I turned 21) as a woman. The next month, I was in a psych ward where I was diagnosed as a transsexual (Gender Identity Disorder.)

Lol... Love the dogs' and cat's ages detail!

Hi Ava Nieves that was the age I remember my mom dressing me in girls clothes. I believe that in the forties and early fifties it was a fad back then where they occasionally would dress their boy child in girls clothes, anyway my mom did on occasion and I never got a haircut until I was 6 years old when I started my first year at school.

In my teens I would often sneak my sisters clothes out and dress up in the privacy of the woods. I even got bold enough at times that I would wear my sisters clothes and my moms wig and go sit on the rocks overlooking the lake and wave at boaters going by. From where they were all they could see was a girl.

I also once dressed up when there was no one at home and had the good ole rock music on and dance around the living room in front of the big picture window and these guys driving by on the highway half way out of the windows whistling and waving at me. Again from that distance I appeared to them as a girl. I Had long hair down to my butt in my teens during the hippie era, wearing unisex clothes and bullying with a tom boy I passed quite well as a girl.

Budying? Heck, Helen and I were like Siamese twins, inseparable. I believe that during those years I passed more as a girl then what my lower anatomy presented ;)

May not be around as much I found a really awesome Wiccan site.

Cindy   

I went to a Halloween party hosted by two school girl classmates and since I didn't have a costume they dressed me up in some of their clothes for the evening.

At 13

it is amazing that a full 65% of the respondents dress before the age of 10. This fact trumps any sexual connection

The first time I dressed as a girl was well before kindergarten. I would wear my cousins dresses and dance singlet since we were the same age. My mom and aunt thought it was cute and just silly. Publicly I have only gone out dressed in womens cloths a few times with the first being halloween at age 18.  Not until I really decided to transition at age 30 did I dress as a woman in public again.

Idk, when I was little. My dad would get mad, not that I hold it against him or anything.

This past august at age 51. Trying to figure out whether I might be MtF transgendered. A transwoman friend suggested I try going out and see how it felt. I didn't want to try unless I was at least partially passable, so I made kind of a engineering project out of it.

Before last summer the thought of crossdressing hadn't occurred to me. I didn't want to dress like a woman, I wanted to BE a woman.

I started dressing when I was 5 I remember it was around the time I started kindergarten.

I was probably about 17 - though I certainly would have done it at an earlier age if the clothing and opportunity were available.

I only went out publicly for the first time recently... talk about not making a discrete debut: the moment we stepped out of the Holiday Inn (we were in Dallas for a coupla nights to see a concert) I was asked for a cigarette by one fella while, simultaneously, a group of three young adults (or old teens) asked us if we knew of a store that might be within walking distance of the hotel.

What can you do? Just act normal - lol.

I'd say it went well. ;D

Still haven't yet. Seriously.

I know.

at 10

Before I ever started school back in the '60's. 

The first time I went out in public that way was when I was 12.

The 1st time I put anything on me I was 6 or 7 and put on a girl friends babushka.
This was about 1949

My first time was on my birthday at 4 years old. It was a cute little polka dot pink dress. My Mom borrowed it and more little girls clothes from the family across the stream from us out on the rez. She wanted me to be happy on my birthday, instead of the sad child I was. Because of my body shape even as a child female clothes fit me better than male clothes did, so I wore female clothes whenever I could get away with it. Of course after my adoption I had to hide this from my adopted father, but he was easy to fool with this. I just kept my shorts and tanks in my locker at school, or outside somewhere where he couldn't find them. If it was just shorts and a tank most times he wouldn't notice. Getting away with little things like this is what kept me sane in that awful environment. Though when I got caught, I'd pay for it in blisters.

Allie :icon_flower:

First time I dressed in female clothing was back in 1997 (if it weren't for going to see the Lost World: Jurassic Park 2 that weekend I wouldn't have remembered the year this happened, and that made me 23 I guess) when we got invited to a big family reunion, this in Massachusetts where most of the family came from, I didn't go, had to work, couldn't get the time off, so my mom, brother, sister and her only son (still a baby) at the time went. During my time alone at home, I had me a few days to reflect on the things I had been feeling about myself for many years that in recent years had become so strong that I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, I did some experimenting and some dress-up. I tried on some of my mom's clothes, the ones that fit. There was this very nice dress that I thought I would look pretty in, if only I were a girl. I wore this dress almost the whole time, but taking care not to ruin it or make it so it looked like it had been worn., I also put on a little bit of make-up that I had the guts to actually go out and buy, pretty red lipstick. I was terrified when I went in to pick it out, stopping in at RiteAid on my way home from the mall after getting my ears pieced, and even more so when I brought it up to the counter to pay for it, I'm sure it showed too. Since I knew that I would be alone for several days (the whole weekend), sometimes I would spend all day dressed up in the house, occasionally I'd look at myself and dream, but for the most part I just did what I always did, sat around and watched movies or played video games, but dressed like a woman, I felt wonderful. But after it was all over with and I couldn't be me anymore because family was coming home, I got really depressed because I knew it was time to put myself, the real me, back into hiding (she was put away for a little while, but not long before I'd soon blow up and let it all out, but that's another story). Afterall, how could they accept me like this, I'd be a disgrace, an embarassment, my family would be angry, hurt, disappointed, ashamed, denial (this would be the first reaction), what else, so I went back into my shell.

You look lovely in your new Avatar Megan. And I know how you felt. Every chance I got while growing up I'd dress female letting the real me out. It felt so wonderful the feeling in itself is almost indescribable.

Allie :icon_flower:

This may sound warped even for you girls but the first time I felt something was different was not so obvious.  I was about 10 ish (I am 42 memory little foggy on when:)) when I got to wear this bright mustard yellow shirt and yes just a shirt nothing gendered about it.  The but I do remember feeling this is great something that is not drab boy clothes but something special and it did become a favorite shirt.  Normally and even today do not have much of a favorite clothes well ok some secret stash of girly stuff:)  And yet I don't think of the crossdressing as sexual anymore its more put into a different state of mind If you will.
Ha ha does this qualify or should I have put later when I actually wore actual feminine things or am I just stranger then most:)  BTW just at the see therapist questioning self phase if that makes a difference.

As in completely dressed? probably... 9 or 10? not for long though, wouldn't have wanted to get caught.

First time I dressed was around 11 or 12.  I would come home from school, sneak into my mother's room and put on some of her clothing.

I had many experimental experiences with single items of my mother's or sisters clothes I recall from around 7 or 8, but being fully dressed as female and go out, was at age 8, when my Mom dressed me up as a nurse including white hat, and white dress outfit (she made it herself for me) for Halloween, I loved it....

C -

1974 when I first began school. I was interacting with girls my age and I wished I was one. My mother allowed some dressing at home and in public I was often androdgynous,- long hair, some jewelery,jeans,tshirt, girlish cardigan


Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

0 to 5 years

I wasn't able to wear women's/girls clothes when I first wanted to since my sister was considerably smaller than me and mom was an adult and I was 10-11. However, I could use my mom's makeup, and I liked the change. When I started working, I bought my first panties from Victoria's secret  (1987 or so. the Second Skin style- still love them, still fits, and still are in good shape). Panties were about it until I hit 30 or so, then I started buying clothes. I still don't have much. I have been out in public only twice intentionally and once unintentionally.

Very young, swiping my sister's clothes out of the laundry hamper.

It was in the 6-10 range.  I couldn't say exactly.  As I recall, a schoolmate of mine moved away, and she and her family left some boxes of stuff in our garage, among them some girls clothes, which I immediately swiped.