Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: Tetanus on September 01, 2008, 12:23:24 AM Return to Full Version

Title: Day from one of the upper rings of Hades...
Post by: Tetanus on September 01, 2008, 12:23:24 AM
Today, my SO was incredibly upset about always having to have the hips and bum of a girl. REALLY upset. He looked online, and found that pelvic reconstruction is horribly dangerous for FTM and is almost never done due to the risks. He ended up sobbing because of this new information. In addittion to getting flamed all over LiveJournal in that genderqueer community for be a "fatophobe". So his day was ->-bleeped-<-e, as was mine consequently.

This wanting to be called "he" thing is fairly new, like in the last month or so since he came out to my mom. (Which went beatifully, btw) But it gets really hard when I get blasted all over creation for referring to my SO as 'she' to people he hasn't come out to yet, like my cousin. Advice here?


Title: Re: Day from one of the upper rings of Hades...
Post by: Janet_Girl on September 01, 2008, 06:44:38 AM
Changing pronouns is a hard thing to do.  My BFF Peg sometimes refers to me as 'he', even if I am not in boy mode.  It takes awhile.  Just talk to him and let him know that you are really, really trying.

As for the hip/butt problem, the only thing that one can do 'for now' is the old clothing tricks.  I really empathize with him.  I have the opposite problem, as I am MtF.  I really hate to say 'learn to live with it', because we are all thought that when it comes to our gender identity.  what I started to think it "OK what if I was born female and I still had the body I have and looked the way I look.  What would I do?" and believe it or not It Works.  I started look for ways to alter my look.  There are just somethings that we can't change. 

I know that I am not much help with the problem he is facing with the body dysphoria.  But it is part of GID.  I know that he is on the forum, I don't remember his screen name.  The Boys can help with that area.

Janet