Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Is '->-bleeped-<-' Offensive?

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/09/is_->-bleeped-<-_offensive.php (http://www.bilerico.com/2008/09/is_-%3E-bleeped-%3C-_offensive.php)
9/9/2008

I'm happy to be a part of the Bilerico team now, and I thought I'd start off by reposting something I wrote in my own blog a couple weeks ago. It was inspired by a reoccurring conversation I've seen on several blogs, including this one, so it seemed fitting.

It always goes like this. A cis (non-trans) person tosses out the word '->-bleeped-<-' in a comment. Then a trans person calls them out on it and tells them its a word that they shouldn't be using. Argument ensues over who's allowed to use what language, invariably, we hear "but my trans friends are okay with me using it." And usually the issue ends unresolved -- in my opinion, because no one discusses the history of the term or why it can have such a powerful negative impact.

I don't know, I don't find the word offensive unless the context it's used in is one I find offensive... but I personally don't like the word and wouldn't use it in conversation.

The word makes me think of the gearbox on a car. :-\

i don't mind trans, but ->-bleeped-<- is totally out of the question. i HATE that word.


Warrior Princess Mickie

Quote from: The Only Warrior Princess Mickie on September 09, 2008, 05:29:56 PM
i don't mind trans, but ->-bleeped-<- is totally out of the question. i HATE that word.


Warrior Princess Mickie

I feel the same way.

Do I look like I am attached to an engine? I don't think so.

It is one of the many words I don't care for.  It is derogatory.

Janet

People have the right of free speech but it shows how ignorant and inarticulate they are.

Quote from: Janet Lynn on September 09, 2008, 07:30:56 PM
Do I look like I am attached to an engine? I don't think so.

It is one of the many words I don't care for.  It is derogatory.

Janet

Agreed.  Every time I have heard the word it has always been used in a derogatory sense.

Jenn

I said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it!  >:(

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:11:08 PM
I said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it!  >:(

tink :icon_chick:

agreed.

"... but my trans friends are okay with me using it" is akin to "...but my black friends are okay with me using the N-word".
Doesn't mean you should say it, especially in the company of random black people. Same with '->-bleeped-<-'.

Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.  It doesn't really matter if the person saying it is transsexual herself/himself; it just shouldn't be said to anyone IMO.  If anyone (people, friends, etc) wants/want to refer to me, please use woman or girl because that is what I am.

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:25:54 PM
Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.  It doesn't really matter if the person saying it is transsexual herself/himself; it just shouldn't be said to anyone IMO.  If anyone (people, friends, etc) wants/want to refer to me, please use woman or girl because that is what I am.

tink :icon_chick:

I prefer that they refer to me as she, her, Janet, Miss, or Miss O'Brien.  And I am open about my transition.

Janet

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:11:08 PM
I said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it!  >:(

tink :icon_chick:

Well said Tink!  :eusa_clap:

Jenn

I hate the word. >:(  Makes me think of stillettos and torn fishnet stockings, and many guys who use it think thats how we get about in the after hours.  ::)

*EDITED BECAUSE SENSE CAME INTO MY HEAD*

yes. even the ones whose names you say and everyone goes "AUGH NOT THEM" should not have that said about them. There's too much mental, emotional, and literal violence associated.

Sorry if any of you read the poop i wrote before... I'm having a rough night (reading the words of the Puritans for a Literature course argh!!!).

I'm gonna go sit in the corner nao.

Lane

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:11:08 PM
I said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it!  >:(

tink :icon_chick:

Can we fuel the flames with the master copies of The Jerry Springer Show?
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg144.imageshack.us%2Fimg144%2F2394%2Fsarclg1.gif&hash=5bfea3056c28b2e905f4cbc3e95d02a684d13ebf)

If it were okay to call us that word then we'd have to call non-TG people cissies. :P

I dislike the word for the same reason as buttercup does.... and I agree with Tink! :eusa_clap:

type '->-bleeped-<-' into google & see what you get.  not offensive? come on! give me a break, will ya? ::) if someone calls me a '->-bleeped-<-', i make them see the stars!

Usually adding a -y to the end of something just makes it cuter I guess...

Guess its all about the history and context. Otherwise, the word alone is pretty well... Tame in my opinion.

The biggest deal in SF for years and years was ->-bleeped-<-shack, which just closed it's run.  No one seemed to object.

I dont find the word offensive. Just depends on the context and who says it really.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet "

That word, along with a few others should go to Hell and be expunged from the language. I'm with Tink & Natasha on this one.

Unlike Natasha I am unlikely to make much of anyone see stars unless I bring them out to a nice meadow on a clear night, and even then I'd merely ask that they raise their eyes and look. Although a quick Google pretty much does make the point quite well

And yes, just as "n*g**r" & "c**t" are offensive regardless of who is using them so are "sh*m*le" & "tr**y."

So, please stay away from me with them.

Nichole

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 10:11:51 AM
That word, along with a few others should go to Hell and be expunged from the language. I'm with Tink & Natasha on this one.

Unlike Natasha I am unlikely to make much of anyone see stars unless I bring them out to a nice meadow on a clear night, and even then I'd merely ask that they raise their eyes and look. Although a quick Google pretty much does make the point quite well

And yes, just as "n*g**r" & "c**t" are offensive regardless of who is using them so are "sh*m*le" & "tr**y."

So, please stay away from me with them.

Nichole

really? I'm a feminist. I cant stand the word vagina because of it's etymology ("sheath for a sword"). That word dishonors a woman's ownership of her sex/sexuality by stating that it exists to be used. I am exceedingly in love with the word "c**t". My seven year old has been taught that she has a vulva and, when she is old enough, will be taught why.

Of course I also see the word "b!+(h" as a compliment....still w/ya on t-word tho.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 10, 2008, 10:25:06 AM

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 10:11:51 AM
That word, along with a few others should go to Hell and be expunged from the language. I'm with Tink & Natasha on this one.

Unlike Natasha I am unlikely to make much of anyone see stars unless I bring them out to a nice meadow on a clear night, and even then I'd merely ask that they raise their eyes and look. Although a quick Google pretty much does make the point quite well

And yes, just as "n*g**r" & "c**t" are offensive regardless of who is using them so are "sh*m*le" & "tr**y."

So, please stay away from me with them.

Nichole

really? I'm a feminist. I cant stand the word vagina because of it's etymology ("sheath for a sword"). That word dishonors a woman's ownership of her sex/sexuality by stating that it exists to be used. I am exceedingly in love with the word "c**t". My seven year old has been taught that she has a vulva and, when she is old enough, will be taught why.

Of course I also see the word "b!+(h" as a compliment....still w/ya on t-word tho.

1st paragraph seconded.

I presume that as a feminist you enjoy being called one? To be called a C**t is quite different than having one.

All of the slur terms seem mostly unredeemable to me. Yes, you may like being called a b***h but it still stings and the effect of all of those words is to lessen one's sense that the person they call a slur-term is as human as they are. That is the inevitable result of their usage. It's the reason for their usage.

We consistently "other" people with the words we use to refer to them when we don't like them or disagree with them.

That seems a simple enough thing to see given the long-history of slurs.

N~

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 12:03:17 PM
I presume that as a feminist you enjoy being called one?

Being a guy, I'd just assume they were anglophiles (it's a nongender insult there)... but no it wouln't bother me.

You can re-read now. I think my point was clarified after you responded. The "one" I was referring to is "c**t."

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 12:11:10 PM
You can re-read now. I think my point was clarified after you responded. The "one" I was referring to is "c**t."

yep thas the one i thought you meant. it's a nongendered insult in the UK. And no it wouldn't bother me.

I don't feel too strongly about words in and of themselves.  If someone calls me a ->-bleeped-<- or a c*nt, it's not all that big a deal to me...they can go ->-bleeped-<- 'emselves, but it's not the end of the world. I'm gonna get just as angry if they call me an a*sshole or whatever. Words are words, it's the intent that matters. If someone accidentally says something I find offensive, I just ask them not to say that around me. Problem solved.

PS The word c*nt is nongendered, at least here (Northeastern US)

If anyone ever used that word in referring to me, they would be spitting teeth!  :o

But then I am functionally stealth so it would be meant as a supreme insult so knocking them flat would be perfectly within the Cat-Fight rules!  ;D

Quote from: Ian on September 10, 2008, 12:58:20 PM
I don't feel too strongly about words in and of themselves.  If someone calls me a ->-bleeped-<- or a c*nt, it's not all that big a deal to me...they can go ->-bleeped-<- 'emselves, but it's not the end of the world. I'm gonna get just as angry if they call me an a*sshole or whatever. Words are words, it's the intent that matters. If someone accidentally says something I find offensive, I just ask them not to say that around me. Problem solved.

PS The word c*nt is nongendered, at least here (Northeastern US)

Perhaps I live in a different Northeast and missed the cultural memo on that word, Ian. That word is hardly non-gendered. That it's used on males as well as females doesn't non-gender it. No more than "pu**y" is non-gendered just because it uses a female part as a slur toward a male.

Okay, since it's so non-gendered I suppose I will just need to start carrying a lead-weight in my purse to use on the first fool who uses it in regard to me.

Nichole

I personally am offended by any use of any word as a derogatory.

Both the C-word and the T-word have been used by me and others have referred to me that way.  But in those cases I was not offended because they were used in a loving or caring or erotic context by people who I love and trust. 

When any term is used in a hurtful way it is offensive.
For example:

"Next on Jerry Springer!  ->-bleeped-<-s!  And their sex lives!!"  <--- Very Offensive! (Please excuse my use of the word here)

but using the more accepted term in an equally offensive way does not soften the offense or make it more palatable:

"Next on Jerry Springer!  Transsexuals! And their sex lives!"  <--- Equally Offensive.

In a similar vein, African American people may use the N-word with each other or allow it from others that they trust/love, but are extremely incensed when used by people who do not share that trust.

Language can be sooo complex!

-Sandy

Well if that is the meaning for ->-bleeped-<- well that would make me a 62 year old gear shift  ;D

Jokes aside though I quite agree with Tink;

QuoteI said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it! & Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.

It's that kind of trashy publicity we do not need, it is not who we are.

In the past six years I have worked with the cisgender folks or regular folks out there I was addressed as female and by my proper name with respect and still do. Actually for those last six years I was only known as Cindy and never even gave a thought to the word transsexual, or trance, TS, TG or anything else TS oriented.

After six years I upon my own choice decided to get involved with the TS community here in Vancouver. I also work with street girls at a local women's shelter, one entity I keep separate from the other but I am still the same woman who is fulfilling both jobs. I am also active with other activities in the community with, regular women, none know my affiliation with one or the other of my duties and activities elsewhere in the city. I like to think that many of us here have a desire to be loving compassionate and reputable women just wanting to go about living normal lives with loving caring mates as we possibly can.

Who needs the constant fear and the drama, just put the wheel back on the wagon and git rollin.

Cindy     

Where I grew up in NYC half the people's native language was not English. Many have no idea of the definitions of most the words they speak. How could anyone be hurt by words, ( sticks and stones) it is the action after the words that can harm. I think too many people have no self confidence and accept other people's opinions and judgment as better than their own. A sad day in those people's minds. Speaking intelligently is an asset. Slang and being inarticulate just shows your ignorance, I try to hide my laughter.

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 03:03:41 PM

Perhaps I live in a different Northeast and missed the cultural memo on that word, Ian. That word is hardly non-gendered. That it's used on males as well as females doesn't non-gender it. No more than "pu**y" is non-gendered just because it uses a female part as a slur toward a male.

Okay, since it's so non-gendered I suppose I will just need to start carrying a lead-weight in my purse to use on the first fool who uses it in regard to me.

Nichole

Go for it. I should also say I dont think it's ok to insult other people period, though I'm guilty of breaking that rule. Just one more of those self-improvement projects on the books for this lifetime lol....

QuoteGo for it. I should also say I dont think it's ok to insult other people period

You can not control how other people feel. A person can be insulted and you could have no idea as to what insulted them. Every culture has its rules and dogma and you cannot be expected to know all those paradigms. What is expected in one group is an insult in another. The only thing you have control of is your own feelings.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 10, 2008, 12:07:46 PM

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 12:03:17 PM
I presume that as a feminist you enjoy being called one?

Being a guy, I'd just assume they were anglophiles (it's a nongender insult there)... but no it wouln't bother me.

personally, I can't stomach that word.

Personally, I use the word "->-bleeped-<-" in only an endearing way. I'd never use it as an insult. If someone called me a ->-bleeped-<-, I'd only be upset if they were using it as an attack.

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:25:54 PM
Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.  It doesn't really matter if the person saying it is transsexual herself/himself; it just shouldn't be said to anyone IMO.  If anyone (people, friends, etc) wants/want to refer to me, please use woman or girl because that is what I am.

tink :icon_chick:

Quote from: Northern Jane on September 10, 2008, 02:23:49 PM
If anyone ever used that word in referring to me, they would be spitting teeth!  :o

But then I am functionally stealth so it would be meant as a supreme insult so knocking them flat would be perfectly within the Cat-Fight rules!  ;D

Quote from: Nichole on September 10, 2008, 12:03:17 PM
I presume that as a feminist you enjoy being called one? To be called a C**t is quite different than having one.

All of the slur terms seem mostly unredeemable to me. Yes, you may like being called a b***h but it still stings and the effect of all of those words is to lessen one's sense that the person they call a slur-term is as human as they are. That is the inevitable result of their usage. It's the reason for their usage.

We consistently "other" people with the words we use to refer to them when we don't like them or disagree with them.

That seems a simple enough thing to see given the long-history of slurs.

N~

Thank you all for articulating my own feelings so clearly.  If I am "intolerant", then I am intolerant, but I am an intolerant woman, nothing else.

Wing Walker

There is one word that I find very offensive and any woman who is Native American would and the word is 'Squaw'.  In most Tribal languages it is not a reference to a wife,  it is referencing her genitalia.  It basically is calling a Native American woman a c**t.

Thought I would add this to the list of insulting words.

Janet

I know Tobi. I wrote on Tobi's blog and told Tobi how I thought it was offensive and that some of the gender queer group was trying to normalize the word. I find it as offensive as the "N" word and others that were brought up. I'm not a label like that, I'm a woman and I have a name. Those are the two distinct labels I have other than Miss, Ma'am and maybe honey and that is a maybe. Write to Tobi and read some of the comments on Tobi's blog.

Use of the word ->-bleeped-<- among fellow transpeople doesn't bother me, I see it as reclaiming words that have been used against us. I rarely use the word myself, when I have it was humorously directed at myself, never towards others. I would never call someone else ->-bleeped-<- who wasn't comfortable with it. I certainly don't wish to incur the wrath of Nichole's brick.  ;)

That said, I'm still not totally used to the idea of identifying as queer, even though the community has reclaimed that word. I guess the many times I was called that as a kid really stung. And as a Jew, I would never use the word kike for myself or another Jew. I find it interesting which of these bother me and which don't.

Z

I say that the word mostly is. My anti-trans little sister uses it quit a lot.

I used to think it was, but most people seem to use it as a throwaway word without really thinking about it, so I don't bother too much about it now. In common with many others however, I would be angry if it were used in order to be offensive.

The one word which does annoy me, my current pet hate at the moment, is genderqueer.

Quote from: Secretgirl on September 11, 2008, 07:45:56 AM
I say that the word mostly is. My anti-trans little sister uses it quit a lot.

Your little sis sounds like one of the other hot words in this discussion.

Quote from: Karen_A on September 11, 2008, 11:12:55 AM

The one word which does annoy me, my current pet hate at the moment, is genderqueer.

I'd like to hear more about this.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 12, 2008, 12:09:49 AM

Quote from: Karen_A on September 11, 2008, 11:12:55 AM

The one word which does annoy me, my current pet hate at the moment, is genderqueer.

I'd like to hear more about this.

Me too. I have friends who identify as it. Its kind of non insulting...

You don't exactly hear a redneck call people that....

I realy don't know much about the meaning of genderqueer is so I am certainly not sufficiently educated to comment on that one. But if you take that just ten years ago, queer anything, at any rate wasn't considered a very nice compliment.

Cindy

Quote from: cindybc on September 12, 2008, 12:58:28 AM
I realy don't know much about the meaning of genderqueer is so I am certainly not sufficiently educated to comment on that one. But if you take that just ten years ago, queer anything, at any rate wasn't considered a very nice compliment.

Cindy

It's also one of those phrases that is being reclaimed.

I don't get how reclaimers think they can fix things.

Well I am happy to have got through transitioning I got enough of the being called queer, Odd, nuts,  crazy, a space cadet, weird well as the litany goes. Just all so childish as I look back on it now, bullies and meanies, air headed red necks. Akkkkk glad it's over for me. And if you think that name calling and cuts and bruises makes you stronger, think again. People treated me better once I came out as myself for keeps.

Cindy

Let me say at once that I don't consider the word 'genderqueer' any more offensive that I now consider '->-bleeped-<-'. What I really object to is the 'queer' part and how that appears to the many ill-informed people out there who will, for example, either treat it as meaning weird or homosexual.

Having been involved in the TV/TS scene in London in the early eighties, I am only too aware of how people treated all gender fluid people as strange and, usually, automatically assumed that they all were homosexual. Society has, thankfully, become slightly better acquainted with the facts, but I feel that the use of the word 'genderqueer' may rekindle this old belief.

Recently I read on another site that 'genderqueer' is gaining popularity among androgynes and may eventually replace androgyne altogether. I, for one, feel that may be a bad step.

Quote from: Karen_A on September 12, 2008, 07:56:04 AM
Let me say at once that I don't consider the word 'genderqueer' any more offensive that I now consider '->-bleeped-<-'. What I really object to is the 'queer' part and how that appears to the many ill-informed people out there who will, for example, either treat it as meaning weird or homosexual.

Having been involved in the TV/TS scene in London in the early eighties, I am only too aware of how people treated all gender fluid people as strange and, usually, automatically assumed that they all were homosexual. Society has, thankfully, become slightly better acquainted with the facts, but I feel that the use of the word 'genderqueer' may rekindle this old belief.

Recently I read on another site that 'genderqueer' is gaining popularity among androgynes and may eventually replace androgyne altogether. I, for one, feel that may be a bad step.

i don't know a whole lot about androgynes. I always sensed a strong difference between the androgynes i have met and the queer-identified people i have met.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on September 13, 2008, 01:09:44 PM

Quote from: Karen_A on September 12, 2008, 07:56:04 AM
Recently I read on another site that 'genderqueer' is gaining popularity among androgynes and may eventually replace androgyne altogether. I, for one, feel that may be a bad step.

i don't know a whole lot about androgynes. I always sensed a strong difference between the androgynes i have met and the queer-identified people i have met.

I knew of the term genderqueer for years and never identified as such, however as soon as I heard the definition of androgyne, it resonated with my internal sense of being neither gender, and felt exactly right for me.

Z

Why do we have to have all these offensive labels? We don't call other ethinic people by names that were used in the 50's and by Archie Bunker. Why would we call ourselves by names that are very demeaning of who we are. I know that I'm a woman, not a "B" or a "C" or any other bad name. Just because I did transition from one gender to another, why should I be called a "T--Y" or "G--Q" or someother label from the porn people. I don't look at porn nor do I condone it either. Maybe I am a prude but I think somethings should remain in the privacy of your bedroom. I find some of the things that Tobi and company do are a little offensive to me. Like pornography.

The word '->-bleeped-<-' always conjurs up the wrong sort of image, and for those who don't know what I mean, think UK comedy sketch show 'Little Britain' and the image it attaches to transsexual peeps.  It's completely inaccurate, and very offensive, to use it to describe a transsexual person.

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:25:54 PM
Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.  It doesn't really matter if the person saying it is transsexual herself/himself; it just shouldn't be said to anyone IMO.  If anyone (people, friends, etc) wants/want to refer to me, please use woman or girl because that is what I am.

tink :icon_chick:

I agree with has been said here.  "->-bleeped-<-" means cant look for ourselves as what we really are.  I dunno. but I don't want to be "a man that changed sex" after my GRS.  "->-bleeped-<-" means we are what we aren't & that's not me. I'm female. A girl. a woman. Can't think of anybody that wants to be "that ->-bleeped-<-". Sorry can't identify. 

Hi, Sheila, If I had to use any of those labels I would and I did accept the label "trans" but I have not had to use any type of labels to address myself except for Cindy, she, her, Well I have heard the word "bitch" used a couple of times in the past six years, both times were just an off day, otherwise I usually get along with folks pretty well.

But I do agree with all of the rest of you girls.  Why do we have to use such archaic and defunct terminology on ourselves? Medical science researchers have been teaching students about "trans" for how long? Since Christine Jorgenson, maybe? I mean, cheez whiz, have they not classified some gender variances with proper and official scientific labels? I mean, what ever they come out with will no doubt be sterile and hard to spell for the most part but at least we would have official labels for the different gender variances from the scientific research community.

What we are getting for description of the gender variances are street talk made legitimate by medical and academic usage. Now I do really hope I don't get abducted by aliens from Andromeda or the men in black come to take me out for a nice car ride in the desert never to be seen again except on the other side of an experimental star gate, Dang Grauwels anyway.

Cindy

Quote from: Jeannette on September 19, 2008, 11:51:32 PM

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:25:54 PM
Personally I find it terribly insulting since it implies we are not real women or men (in the case of FTM's) but a cheap imitation.  It doesn't really matter if the person saying it is transsexual herself/himself; it just shouldn't be said to anyone IMO.  If anyone (people, friends, etc) wants/want to refer to me, please use woman or girl because that is what I am.

tink :icon_chick:

I agree with has been said here.  "->-bleeped-<-" means cant look for ourselves as what we really are.  I dunno. but I don't want to be "a man that changed sex" after my GRS.  "->-bleeped-<-" means we are what we aren't & that's not me. I'm female. A girl. a woman. Can't think of anybody that wants to be "that ->-bleeped-<-". Sorry can't identify. 

I support this notion too.  This word can't be good when applied to transsexual people.  It's contemptuous & denigrating!

Quote from: Leiandra on September 09, 2008, 05:29:36 PM
I don't know, I don't find the word offensive unless the context it's used in is one I find offensive... but I personally don't like the word and wouldn't use it in conversation.

The word makes me think of the gearbox on a car. :-\

Quite obviously you have never been called a "->-bleeped-<-", a hybrid, a freak of nature, have you? You're lucky!  When you are, I'd be looking for your answers...

Quote from: Nero on September 09, 2008, 08:15:12 PM

Quote from: Tink on September 09, 2008, 08:11:08 PM
I said it before, and I will say it again, this term along with "she-male" should die in a fire and go to hell while we are at it!  >:(

tink :icon_chick:

agreed.

"... but my trans friends are okay with me using it" is akin to "...but my black friends are okay with me using the N-word".
Doesn't mean you should say it, especially in the company of random black people. Same with '->-bleeped-<-'.

I completely agree with Tink & Nero.  I put all of these words in the same category as the "c" word.  In my opinion they should never be used under any circumstance.

Personally, I am even slightly bothered by the word "transsexual". Although I think it has an accurate definition, the connotation of it these days seems to be very sexually charged. Just put it in Google and see what it turns up.  Consequently if I'm referring to someone, I use their name, and the appropriate pronouns of the gender they identify with if I know it, or by the way they are presenting.

When I came out to people, I never even used "Transgendered" or "Trans". When I "came out" I used phrases such as: living as a female, assuming the gender role, change of gender, gender reassignment, etc.   However, if I am comfortable with people and they know my personal background, ie. I'm Trans, I am comfortable using the word Trans or transgender.

As one other person said, for me.... I would be preferred to be referred to as Tina, Miss, Ms, She, her, woman, or female......and if you are going to swear at me or use a derogatory word, use the word b****.(I may not like it, but at least I won't want to hit you over the head with a heavy object!)

QuoteWe don't call other ethnic people by names that were used in the 50's and by Archie Bunker

Archie Bunker is a fictional character, exaggerating the low class, living in the melting pot of a world of immigrants. The culture of many people not very articulate in English and all trying to improve their lives after coming from much worse conditions make for funny and colorful language use. Looking beyond the surface of words you see a heart of gold. Do not be so quick to take language at face value.

Hi Blanche, well I was a misfit since I became of age to go to grade school, I learned to ignore but never got use to no way but then what could i do pick a fight? Anyway I do agree that the derogatory terms discussed here are not very palatable in anyway except maybe for the few that allow you to still keep your dignity.

I got lucky in the little town where I came out hte folks accepted me and I had not problems outside of the odd sneer from teenagers and after a year that all died out, and I was respectfully adressed me by the proper name and gender pronouns. Shortly after starting  full time I never even heard the word Transsexual again until 8 years later when I came back to this group last year. I have a partner, she is TS M-F and It don't bother me if we are described as Lesbian. No one else appears to have any problems with our relationship either.

Cindy