Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 06:10:27 PM Return to Full Version
Title: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 06:10:27 PM
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 06:10:27 PM
I was on campus the other day and came out to a terrific woman I've known for several years. It went like this:
ME: I came out of the closet this summer.
SHE: I thought you were already out?!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Later, I elaborated and told her exactly what I meant--that now I'm "all the way out" and understand myself as a guy instead of a girl who wants to be a guy. And that I've taken the first step (therapy) and hope to start physical transition next year.
To me, these things make all the difference, but they're not visible changes. They don't mean so much to other people who already saw me as transgender and perhaps pleasantly eccentric. (I hope pleasantly, although evilly eccentric can have its advantages, too.)
ME: I came out of the closet this summer.
SHE: I thought you were already out?!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Later, I elaborated and told her exactly what I meant--that now I'm "all the way out" and understand myself as a guy instead of a girl who wants to be a guy. And that I've taken the first step (therapy) and hope to start physical transition next year.
To me, these things make all the difference, but they're not visible changes. They don't mean so much to other people who already saw me as transgender and perhaps pleasantly eccentric. (I hope pleasantly, although evilly eccentric can have its advantages, too.)
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:11:50 PM
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:11:50 PM
OK, mark her down as one person you did not fool. Keep her around.
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 06:14:24 PM
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 06:14:24 PM
Quote from: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:11:50 PMI sortakinda almost fooled myself for several years. What did she know that I didn't?
OK, mark her down as one person you did not fool. Keep her around.
Well, I think she's a lot smarter than I am. (She's also gorgeous, but I don't think she knows it.)
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:17:39 PM
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:17:39 PM
Dude, your going to have to live with the fact that a lot of observant persons saw all this in you long before you were willing to admit it. Many times in my life when I got ready to tell people my 'big secret' they told me 'I knew that all along.'
So it goes.
So it goes.
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 07:01:11 PM
Post by: Arch on October 01, 2008, 07:01:11 PM
Quote from: tekla on October 01, 2008, 06:17:39 PMWell, I sorta came out twice...went underground in between...but during my suppression period, I still had short hair, dressed butch, took up space, had a male name, and had my students call me "Mister"...yeah, I'm the only one who was even REMOTELY fooled, I'm sure; and all that time was an enormous struggle to try to forget the things that I'd already discovered about myself. (I know that some people were reading me as a butch lesbian and probably continue to do so, but that's still a category that pushes the conventional boundaries of gender.)
Dude, your going to have to live with the fact that a lot of observant persons saw all this in you long before you were willing to admit it.
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 07:05:24 PM
Post by: tekla on October 01, 2008, 07:05:24 PM
That you chose to surpress it does not mean that people who were watching you also chose to ignore it.
Title: Re: A quickie (no, not THAT kind)
Post by: Jay on October 02, 2008, 10:09:21 AM
Post by: Jay on October 02, 2008, 10:09:21 AM
Congrats Arch!