Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I'm beginning to realize exactly how gay I am going to seem when I transition. I'm one of those kids that squeals and attack hugs a lot. I also do the EEEEEEEEK OMG THATS SO CUTE thing often. Possibly the biggest thing is that I hug guys a lot. Not the man2man "hug" where you grasp hands and body bump. Actual hugs.

Bio-guys never do these things. At least not with other guys [hugging]. It's acceptable to hug girls, but certainly not other guys unless it's in jest and even that is extremely rare. Okay, maybe they hug each other sometimes, but that usually doesn't happen unless someone has died or another major event. And no guys do the EEEEEK thing.

I've stopped hugging guys except my closest guy friend, but the eeeek thing just comes out ahaha.

No wonder nobody believes me when I say I'm trans. ::)

Any thoughts on the matter?

if a woman is browning meat on a tuesday morning, where is she and why's she doing it? is it ok for her to drink while doing so?

if a man is browning meat on a thursday evening, where is he and why's he doing it? is it ok for him to drink while doing so?

if the genders are switched?

my point is, the Binary is Broken, do what you want.

My partner, who is cisgender male (and straight), does some of the femmiest things. Like saying "Eek." That's just him.

If you really want to change, start working on your habits. If you like the way you are, do what makes you comfortable.

BTW, I don't like hugging people, but when I went to a support group a couple of weeks ago, I felt compelled to hug one of the fully-transitioned guys. I didn't even mind that my tits were in the way. Other than my chest, it felt good. I didn't care what other people thought. I like to believe that I'm starting to come out of my shell and act more human.

Of course, if any rednecks had been around, I would have been more circumspect. It's good to have enough control over your habits that you can rein them in as needed.

I'm going to come off gay too most likely.

I'm with Arch. Be you. Only drop ->-bleeped-<- that's not authentically you. Just learn to tone it down when necessary.

Be yourself.  Period.

You are who you are.

Jay

im pretty gay acting... if anything, im more stereotypically gay now than i was before because i didnt want to be seen as girly and now im just acting like myself period.

if you are huggy and like to squeal, why not?

Since we were born, out brains have been tenderized with the meat hammer that is feminimity, we have been programmed like robots. It will take probably the rest of your life to stray from those qualities.

aye, some of my habits probably have me percieved as gay lol then again I might be lol  maybe still in process of figuring that out

QuotePossibly the biggest thing is that I hug guys a lot. Not the man2man "hug" where you grasp hands and body bump. Actual hugs.

Bio-guys never do these things

The guys I know do.

Quote from: sneakersjay on October 08, 2008, 10:54:33 PM
Be yourself.  Period.

You are who you are.

Jay

Exactly.


I think I will come off slightly camp also. But I am 100% straight. I always get asked if I am gay.. but I just say Im metrosexual! ;)

Quote from: Jay on October 09, 2008, 03:31:40 AM

QuotePossibly the biggest thing is that I hug guys a lot. Not the man2man "hug" where you grasp hands and body bump. Actual hugs.

Bio-guys never do these things

The guys I know do.

Seconded.  There are bio-guys, even straight guys, who act girly.  A few of my own friends come to mind...  But they're still guys, even if they do like to be called 'cute' and give/receive hugs. 

Granted, I was convinced one of 'em was gay when I met him (straight, btw--he gets along better with girls), but... *shrug* there's no point in forcing yourself to act a certain way just to meet stereotypes of 'uber-manliness.'  And I doubt I'd like this friend as much if he put on a macho mask; it would seem forced.

Quote from: Eryk on October 09, 2008, 07:55:40 AM

Quote from: Jay on October 09, 2008, 03:31:40 AM

QuotePossibly the biggest thing is that I hug guys a lot. Not the man2man "hug" where you grasp hands and body bump. Actual hugs.

Bio-guys never do these things

The guys I know do.

Seconded.  There are bio-guys, even straight guys, who act girly.  A few of my own friends come to mind...  But they're still guys, even if they do like to be called 'cute' and give/receive hugs. 

Granted, I was convinced one of 'em was gay when I met him (straight, btw--he gets along better with girls), but... *shrug* there's no point in forcing yourself to act a certain way just to meet stereotypes of 'uber-manliness.'  And I doubt I'd like this friend as much if he put on a macho mask; it would seem forced.

Eryk I totally agree with you!

My bio-male partner thinks there is nothing wrong with hugging.  He's pretty obsessed with hugs.   ;D
He also thinks that all animals are super cute and cuddly and "eeee".  He's convinced that the way he'll die will involve trying to hug a lion or something.

I hear you, though, on having little quirks and "how gay I'm going to seem."

I keep getting teased about how into the Jonas Brothers I am (among many other Disney stars/movies).  I just love pop music!
In my defense, I was sheltered and raised hardcore on Disney...  I was not allowed to listen to any actual radio stations or anything until middle school or so, I was just always given Disney animated movies and their soundtracks!
However gay I seem for that, though, nothing will ever make me feel bad for thinking the movie Camp Rock was awesome.  Haha.

Quote from: iFindMeHere on October 08, 2008, 08:10:40 PM
my point is, the Binary is Broken, do what you want.

Amen! What's funny is (though I'm not sure I have any feminine gestures/habits) I actually am gay, so I'm not really concerned about it. For you though, I would agree with everyone else and say be you. I think we all can relate to the discomfort of everyone perceiving you as you're something you're not (gay in this case), but I'd say unless it really bothers you, it's their problem not yours.

I dont like hugging, but i like to 'eeek'. In fact i probably come across as uber gay. But what the hell, i'm comfortable being quite a feminine guy.

It been my experience that the uber male types are VERY physical with each other.

There is the now de rigur 'BroHug' and the ever popular terrorist fist bump, and handshakes are very physical.  There is also the hand on the shoulder deal, the domestic terrorist punch in the shoulder, the casual full body check, and the belly bump.

Quote from: tekla on October 09, 2008, 12:31:35 PM
It been my experience that the uber male types are VERY physical with each other.

There is the now de rigur 'BroHug' and the ever popular terrorist fist bump, and handshakes are very physical.  There is also the hand on the shoulder deal, the domestic terrorist punch in the shoulder, the casual full body check, and the belly bump.

the fist bump happens alot in my crowd. haven't yet experienced the belly bump.

Quotehaven't yet experienced the belly bump.

Me neither.. I can kinda guess why though I will probably knock them across the other side of the room!

Quote from: tekla on October 09, 2008, 12:31:35 PM
It been my experience that the uber male types are VERY physical with each other.

There is the now de rigur 'BroHug' and the ever popular terrorist fist bump, and handshakes are very physical.  There is also the hand on the shoulder deal, the domestic terrorist punch in the shoulder, the casual full body check, and the belly bump.

For some reason I want to see Tekla demonstrate...


Jay

Haha, belly bump isn't even possible for dudes unless you got a beer belly. I used to do boobie bumps tho. I stopped doing that, for obvious reasons. ::)

Quote from: freespeechz on October 09, 2008, 06:33:56 PM
Haha, belly bump isn't even possible for dudes unless you got a beer belly. I used to do boobie bumps tho. I stopped doing that, for obvious reasons. ::)

Oo Boobie bumps?!?! Nope, never did that.

Quote from: freespeechz on October 09, 2008, 06:33:56 PM
Haha, belly bump isn't even possible for dudes unless you got a beer belly.

That is so not true. It's just not possible to be NONSEXUAL unless you have a beer belly.

I have old habits I need to break too...I'm gay so maybe it's not a big deal. I'm not a hugging person...I usually stay away from body contact like that. I'm not trying to pass as sterotypical male anyways..I have femenine traits that I like so I'll probably be just seen as a gay guy..lol

I don't really understand why certain behaviours are perceived as typically male and others typically female.  Behaviour is not genetically predisposed after all.  No behaviours are exclusive to males or females.
I have never really looked at life or people in this manner, even before I came out as a trans guy and I certainly shall not be modifying my behaviour to fit in with what I see as idiotic gender stereotypes.

Quote from: milliontoone on October 11, 2008, 11:01:30 PM
I don't really understand why certain behaviours are perceived as typically male and others typically female.  Behaviour is not genetically predisposed after all.  No behaviours are exclusive to males or females.
I have never really looked at life or people in this manner, even before I came out as a trans guy and I certainly shall not be modifying my behaviour to fit in with what I see as idiotic gender stereotypes.

Well put

Quote from: milliontoone on October 11, 2008, 11:01:30 PM
I don't really understand why certain behaviours are perceived as typically male and others typically female.  Behaviour is not genetically predisposed after all.  No behaviours are exclusive to males or females.
I have never really looked at life or people in this manner, even before I came out as a trans guy and I certainly shall not be modifying my behaviour to fit in with what I see as idiotic gender stereotypes.

:eusa_clap:

Yeh, don't really understand why myself.  But society seems to think in black and white, or male and female on every thing.  Hope that things can change in time.  May never get ride of terms masculine/feminine entirely but hope that society can come to not care which and were in between you are. 

Civilization seems to need a name for every thing and a definition for everything, so the words may not disappear but hope the stereotypes will

Egads, man.

1) When you're on testosterone, your vocal chords will stretch. You won't even be CAPABLE of saying "eek" anymore.

2) There actually are appropriate channels for males to express affection to one another. You will adjust. It's like learning a new language. It's hard to teach in a class, but it comes naturally if you're around it all the time.

3) Here is a little known secret. It's something that you only really come to realize after a few years of experience, but your parents have probably told it to you since you were a toddler. If you were like most children, you probably didn't believe them, but it just happens to be a fact. No matter who you are or where you come from or what you stand for, people will respect you if you bear yourself with self-confidence and express yourself in a manner that suggests self-respect. Iron your clothes, keep yourself well-groomed, stand up straight and tall, and enunciate your words. It's pretty straightforward.