Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've just watched the "Lord of the Rings" series again, and was wondering....

This time, the scenes of Arwen, and then of Eowyn, evoke such emotional responses....

When Eowyn slays the witch king, declaring "I am no man..!", it stirs such an emotional response in me!

And, as a brunette, Arwen's scenes stir an amazing amount of emotion...her joyous laugh at the end, in the arms of Aragorn, sends me to such tears of joy for her!

Am I nuts?  Or is this one of the natural parts of womanhood I didn't prepare for?

Can an image on a screen really invoke such an emotional response?

I can tell you that a lot of trans guys have the opposite experience.  They used to cry at movies and tear up whenever they felt really strongly about things, but once they start taking testosterone they find that they can't even cry when they want to.  Personally, I'm pre-T, and I cry at movies all the time.  I cried at Toy Story II when the cowgirl told her sad tale of her little girl growing out of playing with toys.   :icon_redface:  I think it's one of the joys of Estrogen.  ;)

Yes definitely the estrogen after a time will rewire the neural pathways in your brain. Get ready for the ride Honey. But these emotional sensitivities will all level off after a few months and you will not cry as frequently. Still you will find that when you feel emotions, these emotions will go to a much deeper level then you have ever known before. You will also find that your emotions become more widely varied in reason and intensity then they ever have before.

It was like some kind of trip the first time my emotion reached that depth of varying intensities. It is such a wonderful relief to be able to  show emotions where before it would have been unheard of to exhibit emotion before strangers. Now, well if you are living full time as female, you are able to show emotion when ever you feel a desire to do so with another supportive person or persons, no matter where. With anyone you know who will receive you with kindness and compassion. sensitivity to what ever is in your heart and mind.

**Removed some unnecessary info.**

Cindy   

Quote from: tgirljuliewilson on October 12, 2008, 03:01:35 AM
Can an image on a screen really invoke such an emotional response?

Certainly. Heck, all it can take is a single word/name or a lovely scene. Mind you, I don't think it is always just emotion for emotion's sake, but rather an emotional response to stimuli. I tend to blame it mostly on there simply being a lot lurking in my mind. Perhaps things are similar with you.

Quote from: cindybc on October 12, 2008, 04:54:07 AM
... these emotional sensitivities will all level off after a few months and you will not cry as frequently.

Nah, not more than once a day or so!

I always used to cry at movies, now after HRT, I cry at the drop of a hat.

I was in the library finishing a "chick-lit" book that I was reading and the tears were streaming.

Welcome to the wonderful world of womanhood!

LOL, yes, movies, books, anything like that can create a strong emotional reaction. I love having a full range of emotions rather than, as Jenny Boylan put it, "one damn mood all the damn time."

And, too, characters in books and movies can reflect back to us a self we recognize. Seeing "The Crying Game" with the character Dil was a major turning point for me. I thought, that's me! Up intil then, I had thought, sure, I'd love to be female rather than male, but it's impossible; I have no wish to be a man in a dress, to be ridiculous. Then I saw Dil in that movie and began to think, wait a minute, maybe .... :)

Anyways, I cry at movies all the time--including that very scene in Toy Story II--and I love it.

Stealth

PS--I was watching a movie about General Custer, called "Son Of The Morning Star", and in one scene he angrily tells his Indian scouts that if any of them will not move forward, he will take that man's weapons and make a woman of him. I about fell off the couch laughing and said "Yayyyyyy, how soon can we start?"  :laugh:

I am pre-HRT and have always cried at movies, theater, concerts, sights or anytime there is a beautiful touching experience. The drag was that I had to hide it and never really let it go and enjoy it for what it could give me.

So I can't wait to be able to feel and express all my emotions without ridicule.

I'm pretty emotionally regulated and analytical in my daily life but put me in a movie theater, concert hall or sitting with a novel and I well up frequently.  Actual streaming tears come too if I'm sufficiently moved.  My daughter used to tease me but I don't care.  I love the release!

I cry at movies, books, TV, real life, anything. I've been a crybaby my entire life. I hate it. I don't want to break down and weep like a child when something evokes an emotional response. I want to be in control of my emotions and cry when I want to. Stupid hormones.

It might not just be a part of womanhood.  As a previous reply by a trans guy suggested, it might have more to do with testosterone or lack thereof.  I also read this article by a man who had androgen deprivation therapy as part of prostate cancer treatment, which gives more of a non-transgender perspective on this (search for the word "weep" if you don't want to read the whole thing):

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/27/health/27case.html?_r=1&ref=health&oref=slogin (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/27/health/27case.html?_r=1&ref=health&oref=slogin)

Anyway, I wonder if my testosterone levels have dropped recently for some reason.  I've noticed over the past few months that I cry much more when I see sad things on TV; I don't think these things would have made me cry previously.  It seems to me that it's mainly a matter of empathy.  I can see advantages and disadvantages to this, but I think I like it better.

Music is an other excellent lubricant for the tears, or reminiscing about pleasant memories. I would never have guessed there was such a rich reservoir of beautiful heart felt moments, pleasant, happy ones and  fantasised romantic ones as well. Music gets it to well up to the surface. And of course movies. and it doesn't have to be something dramatically big either, just something that triggers a memory of having experienced something emotionally similar. What I mean about the leveling off is where you find yourself less just sitting and crying uncontrollably on and off for no apparent reason. Ever cry and laugh at the same time, now I think that can be a piece of work, not unlike wetting your panties while laughing your butt off. I remember my sister doing that and it would make me laugh watching her hurry off to the bathroom her face all flushed in a nice shade of red, I loved making her laugh. Oh my, now it's my love has piked up the knack do affect me the very same way with some silly off the wall slap stick humor.

If there ain't anything else I love then a good soul cleansing cry i is laughter. I like laughing and I love making others laugh as well.

Cindy   

The only time I cry at movies is when they have happy endings. Then I cry cause I can't get my money back.

I tear up watching movies and my wife never does. I don't know how much of the tearless thing in men is down to social inhibition or biological reason.

Personaly I like the emotional flatness, it can be really useful, feeling like a machine. If you can switch it on or off as required or drip feed it through, even better.

 I`m full of E and still can`t cry. May be I just never will. WHen I feel like I need to nothing comes out. I think it`s all about who you are and not whats in you. I will Aways have the emotions of a rock. >:-)

I often cry at films, and music and books.

(Remember the book of captain corelli's mandolin - didn't stop sobbing for about half an hour, thinking, you stupid man, you could have been so happy, why didn't you just talk to her?)

Though I fall asleep at lord of the rings.

Hi Angie hon, I just caught site of this post just as I was leaving. #1 I want to ask you how long have you been on hormones?
#2 have had any other symptoms of changes yet from HRT exotically the breast area?

OK, good luck and I will check back when I get back from work later this evening.

Cindy

QuoteEver cry and laugh at the same time, now I think that can be a piece of work, not unlike wetting your panties while laughing your butt off.

Photo Beauty gets attention
Then her eye paint's running down
She's got a rose in her teeth
And a lampshade crown
One minute she's so happy
Then she's crying on someone's knee
Saying laughing and crying
You know it's the same release - Joni Mitchell

I've cried at movies all my life whether male or female.  I think it has more to do with empathy than hormones.

Even before I started on estradiol, I would get emotional at movies.  Now, its so easy to get choked up!  I even cry with animated flicks!  Part of it is the chemistry.  Part of it is allowing myself to feel.

Chaunte

Quote from: cindybc on October 12, 2008, 05:27:49 PM
Hi Angie hon, I just caught site of this post just as I was leaving. #1 I want to ask you how long have you been on hormones?
#2 have had any other symptoms of changes yet from HRT exotically the breast area?

OK, good luck and I will check back when I get back from work later this evening.

Cindy

Ive been on hormones for 11 months. I do have some breast development ,  and a slightly rounder face and it is much much harder for me to keep waight off. My Dr. sais it just takes longer for some to feminize than others.

Can an image on a screen really invoke such an emotional response?


Of course it can.  They are designed, engineered, and created (by people who makes LOTS of money) to do exactly that.  And when it works out right, it is art.

I can cry (or at least tear up) for any of the following, at almost any time.
- Bogart's speech to Bergman in Casablanca, when he says "We'll always have Paris..."  Timeless
- Carlos Santana playing Samba Pa Ti, or Jerry playing and singing Stella Blue
- The end of It's a Wonderful Life
- Standing in front of The Sleeping Gypsy by Henri Rousseau at the The Art Institute of Chicago Museum.

Or try any of these: Terms of Endearment, Beaches, Night and Fog, Schindler's List, E.T.,

So yeah, they invoke emotions, they are supposed to.  There are several scenes in LotR that do it for me, the one you noted when she says "I am no man" or the incredible love story between Samwise and Frodo, which is the heart of the book, and the best part of the adaptation.  You feel it, because these people are good, and they are all doing good work, and that's what they do.

Emotion is the name of the game, in rock music, and perhaps in all music - listen to Dylan sing The Lonesome Ballad of Hattie Carrol, or Beethoven's Ninth - the sound, fury its so uplifting its almost a drug.  Movies (and remember laughter is just as emotional as tearing up), greeting cards, commercials, especially holiday commercials, have as their stock and trade emotional manipulation (hopefully in a good way - though watch Leni Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will for the bad way). 

Hi, Claire de Lune, I love the prose. May I repost it in my blog?

And I say, aye, about the empathy. I have gotten away from talking about empathy here because of lack of interest, but you are quite correct. I had these sensitivities for as long as I can remember but had to keep them hidden away from others unless I was looking to get called some nasty, hurtful names or get bullied because, **boys weren't supposed to show emotions like that**. Ever feel someone else's hurting, fear or any other intense emotions?  I mean, like you were inside of them feeling their feelings, like they were your own?

QuoteEven before I started on estradiol, I would get emotional at movies.  Now, its so easy to get choked up!  I even cry with animated flicks!  Part of it is the chemistry.  Part of it is allowing myself to feel.
Chaunte

I agree once I made the decision to do my journey into transition, I allowed myself to feel and to express what I felt. That was the most liberating part of my transition, except for the final step after I became as complete a woman as I can ever be. Animal movies, Walt Disney cartoons, animations, and kids adventure movies, to name a few, do get to me.

I cry if I see a critter that is hurting or appears to be lost or has gone astray. I won't kill an insect in the house, and I won't let anyone else, either. I will pick them up and let them go outside. I can go to the park and have the little critters come to me. Whether it be a rabbit, raccoon, skunk, or Sally's poodle, or one of the little ones like a chipmunk or a squirrel, climb up on my shoulder, or a bird land on my shoulder or a whole flock of them in a tree above me. I attract bright- eyed, inquisitive little kids in a shoping mall or supermarket, like they already know me. I have even had grown up folks, young and old, stop momentarely to look at me like they were attracted by something, but the poor dears don't have a clue as to what it is they have just felt. Perhaps they felt the energy of a witch?

I used to think I had some type of curse upon me. I have had these sensitivities as far back as I can recollect. So yep, I certainly do know about feelings and emotions are, as well as the effect it has on others around me. I truly thought I was bewitched until I found out about what empathy and empaths were about. My love, Wing Walker, figured it out before I ever did, and she certainly got to see some of these phenomena I have mentioned, and a few strange occurances since we been together in the past four years. More than she had ever experienced before in her life! I only found out about about empaths a year after I discovered what the expression of transsexuality was about. "Huh?????" oh yea, for sure, talk about a double whammy, or a double awakening, which ever it might be!    BELIEVE  IT OR NOT!!!


Cindy

A thread on crying intertwined with empathy?  Why not?  The two are often cause and effect.

When I was a young child in my prior life I avoided the company and doing of young boys.  I had nothing in common with them and there was no use in faking it.  I could not participate in the pain that they inflicted on animals and insects.

I grew up in town and when we kids went "hunting" our game was cats.  We never wondered what would happen if we caught one but we "hunted" them all the same.

One day I saw a cat and I had a clear shot at it, so I picked up a rock and pegged it at the animal that was frozen in its tracks.  The stone fell short of the cat and became a "one-hopper" that hit the cat in the ribs.  I heard the thump of the rock on the cat and immediately felt the desire to hunt drain away in the knowledge that the cat had nerve endings and must have been hurt.

It wasn't my way to do as the boys did so I paid the price of non-acceptance and going with my heart and feelings.  I cried over some cartoons, like the Bluebird of Happiness and others that had a story to them.  I never stopped to think that it was only a cartoon because I was too busy grieving over the hurt puppy or the rejected bluebird.  And so it still is today.

I felt a bond with those who were outcasts from my class in school.  I didn't taunt them or cause them pain along with the boys and most of the girls.  They trusted me and befriended me and it was a mutual friendship because I could feel their warming-up to me.

I had no idea that I had any of the empath in me until I was well past 30 years old.  It was then that I learned that an empath can feel what others feel within themselves.  I learned the difference between sympathy and empathy:  sympathy wears thin and empathy never wears out.   

I cry when I hear certain songs, see certain things in movies, when I read something that moves me within, and see human suffering. 

And so it is for me.

Wing Walker
Keep Smilin' Through the Rain

I always cried watching emotional movies long before I ever touched HRT..

QuoteAm I nuts?  Or is this one of the natural parts of womanhood I didn't prepare for?

Can an image on a screen really invoke such an emotional response?

Yep... I was always emotional prior to HRT... and after it's been a wild ride. I know it sounds odd
but before HRT there was some feeling that it was a good thing to cry, but now it feels SO good
to cry... it's like I can't tell the difference between laughter and crying any more... both are good.
Both let out emotions that don't need to be surpressed. And laughter can easily turn into tears...
not bad tears... LOL... yea I know... weird Amanda.

Amanda

Hi Amanda, I know exactly what you mean. Either crying until you find that for some reason or another why you were crying is funny. Or when someone says something while your crying tickles you funny bone which ends you up cracking up laughing. Fortunately some people are gifted that way. Or crying and laughing at the same time, I found was a combination of the first two reasons I mentioned above. Human behaviour is kind of weird but it can be a nice weird.

And lastly I had emotions and feelings in my other life but I didn't feel right expressing them to anyone else, especially the crying or even showing sensitivities except the type that was superficial. All the  HRT did was to allow me the freedom to express emotions I didn't feel were appropriate in the male gender. Laughter and crying can be the best medicine.

Cindy

Posted on: October 13, 2008, 08:13:13 pm

---

Do I shed Tears over silly things? Well I shed a few tears just watching to this little Walt Disney video of Beauty and the Beast which I found on the.... *what are you listening to thread.*

But then I am an incurable romantic who loves to indulge in flights of fantasy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psWT3N0aGa4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psWT3N0aGa4)

Cindy

I like the music, but....^^

I can't stomach the way Disney sanitizes and pretties up stories. In Hugo's great novel, Esmerelda has the same reaction as everyone else to Quasimodo--horror. This only makes his undying love for her the more touching.

Hugo's Great Novel? I don't beleive I know that one. But I did watch the original black and white movie of Beauty and the Beast, well yea, bauty and the beast was a good one too but I meant Huntch Back of Notre Dame, and even cried more during the movie then I did with the Disney World one. I still Like there cartoons and animations though, I love any cutsie type of movies. I got to liking Wing Walker calling me cutsie as well. Told ya I was silly. Always was, it's just I had to hide it for a while for my own good.

OK me has better get to that bed. Tell me more about the book please. :D 

Cindy  

"The Hunchback of Notre Dame" by French author Victor Hugo, the same man who wrote "Les Miserables".

Deformed bellringer Quasimodo falls in love with the gypsy girl Esmerelda, whom he sees dancing with her little goat for coins in the street. Unfortunately, Esmerelda is also obsessively admired by a corrupt clergyman. While the cleric's "love" is nothing but lust, self interest and ultimately deadly obsession, the hideous bellringer's love is true.

The book's 2nd and 3rd chapters digress, in typical Hugo style, into the layout and architecture of medieval Paris and gets quite tedious. But from that point on, the story is a great one, one of the most moving that I have ever read.

Stealth

The fact I can`t cry makes me want to cry. Ha, ;D Nee slapper

Quote from: tgirljuliewilson on October 12, 2008, 03:01:35 AM
I've just watched the "Lord of the Rings" series again, and was wondering....

This time, the scenes of Arwen, and then of Eowyn, evoke such emotional responses....

When Eowyn slays the witch king, declaring "I am no man..!", it stirs such an emotional response in me!

And, as a brunette, Arwen's scenes stir an amazing amount of emotion...her joyous laugh at the end, in the arms of Aragorn, sends me to such tears of joy for her!

Am I nuts?  Or is this one of the natural parts of womanhood I didn't prepare for?

Can an image on a screen really invoke such an emotional response?

NO!! You're not nuts :)

Have you read the books? (They're my favoriates and I re-read them every year.) For me reading these passages in the original is even more emotional experience (yes, I cry when reading these passages, they're just so powerful.

I cry at a lot of movies, epically 'chick flicks' but most others too that have a powerful story. 

Hi well I use to imagine myself being the girl in the hero's arms from since I was in my early teens and actually had a boy friend back in 19and 61-63. In my teens I looked more like a girl then a boy with my long hair, I could very well have transitioned back then if I had known about it.

Stealth thank you so much for the information on the book by Victor Hugo. I am certainly going to look for it, would make for good reading when Wing Walker and go I to Montreal for her surgery.

Thanks.

Cindy

OMG! you all may laugh at me but When I was 14 I read the Original Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and I swear I never cried harder over a novel, The I got pissed 'cause it made me cry 'cause we all know 'Boys don't cry' which by the way was great movie that also made me cry. Most recently the movie "August Rush" had me digging in my bra for tissue... ::)

I've always been more emotional then normal males but after HRT its defiantly worse.

Of course they are emotional, they are put together by people who are most excellent at manipulating emotions.  In this case, yours.

the key seems to be to let them

I have always cried over sad movies, cried saying goodbye to a friend, cried over a beautiful sunset, cried over a friend's misfortune, cried for any reason at all and sometimes for no reason. No wonder I could never pass for a guy!

Now I watch "teenie-bopper movies" and cry over them to. I don't care who see!

I'm a transman but movies are one of the things that can make me cry. Same thing with songs though. The part on the first Lord of the Rings when Gandalf dies I had a lump in my throat and I had to fight from crying in front of my brother. Recently I watched this movie called Mr. India and there was a scene in it I didn't think would be that sad but it made my eyes water. Video games make me cry if there's a sad scene in it, movies make me cry if there's a sad scene and sad music sometimes makes me cry (unless I played the song out). Usually the only kind of sad scene that makes me tear up is usually a death scene or a song about saying goodbye, having a break-up, or a death. I'm usually a rock hard person but hey, a guy can have his sensitive moments  ;D

Sunsets and other works of the natural sublime are one thing, but movies/TV is quite another.  Tell you what, take that scene where Gandalf dies (sort of, not really) and take that dramatic music score out and put the soundtrack to "hamster dance" in.  Not nearly as moving.

Yah music does play a big part in movie scenes..

Its why, as a general rule, the music is written after the cutting, with the orchestra playing in a studio while the scene is played on a screen. 

And that hamster dance deal works, just play it over any sad scene, no more sadness.  It's the entire minor key deal with the build to the tonic that makes it dramatic.  Like a pal of mine says, "Give Jimmy Page a ukelele and LedZep ain't near as heavy as the Gibson through the Marshall stack."

http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/movies/galleries/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=7379640&ocid=today&GT1=61502 (http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/movies/galleries/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=7379640&ocid=today&GT1=61502)

'films men cry at' apparently.



Personally I like to give myself over to a good tear now and then. But I tend to laugh more (though not at films).