Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My mom and I have a tense relationship, and me coming out as Trans to her aint gonna help with that. Just peep what she wrote to me after the election:

Quote"I know your glad....however I am screwed.....now not only will I my
personal well fare program for family I will have less money on my check
so I can pay for more people that F%^&*() don't want to work. I so pray
this is the right choice. Until you are paying 40% of your hard earned
money to the government you won't get it!
I love you. God Bless America"

Should be a fun thanksgiving dinner... Maybe the Seahawks will beat the Cowboys and cheer me up. :)

In all seriousness, I'd love some advice on how to approach this.

Do you know exactly what you're going to tell them? That's probably the first step - have a plan for the points you want to get across. That you're transgender? Transsexual? Going to transition? Or just communicate your feelings about it all? Etc.

Anticipate questions. They'll probably ask if this means you're gay, how long you've known, why they never noticed anything, etc. All common questions it seems.

They'll probably want to know what this MEANS to them and ask what are you're going to DO about it?

~Kate~

If you are terrified why do it rite now? I haven`t told a single family member yet and I`ve been on hormones for a year now. I`m not telling anyone till I can show them as well. ( my wife knows though)
  But if you are going to do it I would say start off with probing around to see how she feels about trans people first.

Quote from: almost,angie on November 15, 2008, 12:50:28 PM
If you are terrified why do it rite now?

I think coming out to parents is always gonna be terrifying.  It was for me as well, at least.  I really hope it goes well for you.

I think Kate gave some good advice, so i don't know what else i can add!
Telling her in the way that you find most comfortable, i think is the best way to do it.  The less at ease you are the less at ease your mum will be hearing it.

FWIW, when i told my parents i did it in a letter, though i gave to them personally and was there when they read it.  It got out everything i wanted to say, in the way i wanted to.

yes why say anything right now.

I'd wait until you have alteast seen your therapist it will give it a offical diagnosis otherwise parents can kind of say the issue is with you. A medical practitioner usually hold alot of weight with older generations.

Also timing can never be right but unless you have a gameplan why spoil an offical dinner / occasion with whats probably a bombshell and is there ever that much need to run down the transition road rather than a measured walk?

Johnnie, SLOW DOWN. too much too soon.

I don't know if i agree with the consensus here that you should slow down.  I went from coming out to fully transitioned (on testosterone, top surgery, hysterectomy) in just about a year and it worked for me just fine.

What i will say is that the holidays are a *terrible* time to come out. People either look at them one of a few ways- happiness for having the family back together, happiness for having the family back together while everyone is totally uncomfortable hiding family drama or attending out of obligation.

I'd hold off 'til after New Year's to give your mom the time and space she's going to need to digest your news.

I have to agree... holiday is a terrible time to do it. Do it a day after?