Community Conversation => Transitioning => Therapy => Topic started by: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
So next week I am planning on going to see a therapist. I tell you what, I am so nervous and afraid but I am drawn to go see this therapist to finally figure out what is going on with me. I'm tired of putting this off anymore, and I think it is time to quit suffering. I really need someone in real life to confide in and I really hope this person can help. I am going to request HRT when I see her. I going to be completely honest to her about my need to match my body with my female mind, and the way this condition has been a detriment to my life and my relationship with other people. I'm tired of living this way, pretending and masquerading to be a boy/man/male. I have reached that edge where I just want to take that leap and seriously start the journey.
I hope this therapist is the right one, is understanding, caring, and won't treat me like an abomination. I guess the reason why I am posting this is to maybe get some words of encouragement. I'm so afraid of doing this but I know if I'm going to get any better that it must be done. I know I am new here and you all don't know me to well, but I was hoping maybe some of you can say something to me that will prevent me from chickening out and changing my mind.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 03, 2009, 07:09:24 PM
Post by: lizbeth on January 03, 2009, 07:09:24 PM
hi Mika,
I just had my first therapy session today. I was so nervous leading up to it that I couldn't sleep last night. I found out today that it was all for nothing. I let my therapist lead me where she wanted and just answered honestly. as long as you can be honest with her and honest with yourself at teh same time you will do fine.
if you have any questions, write them down and don't be afraid to ask her.
be prepared to talk about non gender issues too, I did some free writing this passed week and it helped me collect my thoughts and remember my timeline a little better. you might get some benifit from doing some more self analysis before your first session.
above all else, good luck!! =)
I just had my first therapy session today. I was so nervous leading up to it that I couldn't sleep last night. I found out today that it was all for nothing. I let my therapist lead me where she wanted and just answered honestly. as long as you can be honest with her and honest with yourself at teh same time you will do fine.
if you have any questions, write them down and don't be afraid to ask her.
be prepared to talk about non gender issues too, I did some free writing this passed week and it helped me collect my thoughts and remember my timeline a little better. you might get some benifit from doing some more self analysis before your first session.
above all else, good luck!! =)
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 03, 2009, 07:09:59 PM
Post by: lizbeth on January 03, 2009, 07:09:59 PM
oh, and as others have told me, don't be afraid to find another therapist if this one doesn't work out.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Randy on January 03, 2009, 07:14:58 PM
Post by: Randy on January 03, 2009, 07:14:58 PM
Therapy is like any other stage in transition: scary as hell before you go through with it, but once you're there you realize that your imagination created a whole lot of fears where no threat actually exists. I'm a pretty introverted kind of guy, so it was difficult and scary for me at first, but it gets easier every week. If you think about "chickening out" just remember why transition is important to you, and remind yourself that it's something you have to do (that we all have to do). Hope all goes well. :icon_flower:
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Suzy on January 03, 2009, 07:23:56 PM
Post by: Suzy on January 03, 2009, 07:23:56 PM
Mika,
I well understand your fears. But you will see, after you have gone through it, that you had nothing to fear really. Whatever you say will, of course, be bound by confidentiality. You are the consumer, you need not pay the therapist for more than one visit. So relax. You are currently shopping for the right one.
I hope it works out, as it is really a PITA to have to come out to other therapists. My first time was really hard. It was like lancing a boil. I didn't know what to do or how to act. And stuff that came out was so hard to talk about. But each session has gotten better and better, and I now leave them feeling much better than when I arrive. Now she is one of my biggest supporters.
So don't expect it to be all roses from the start. But you do want someone who will be honest with you, and not tell you just what you want to hear. Else, why pay for their advice. You want things to be challenged and clarified so you can make the best decisions for your life. A good therapist will do that, help YOU make the decisions. Also, don't expect a letter of referral for HRT right away. It takes a few visits before most therapists will do that.
Best of luck!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I well understand your fears. But you will see, after you have gone through it, that you had nothing to fear really. Whatever you say will, of course, be bound by confidentiality. You are the consumer, you need not pay the therapist for more than one visit. So relax. You are currently shopping for the right one.
I hope it works out, as it is really a PITA to have to come out to other therapists. My first time was really hard. It was like lancing a boil. I didn't know what to do or how to act. And stuff that came out was so hard to talk about. But each session has gotten better and better, and I now leave them feeling much better than when I arrive. Now she is one of my biggest supporters.
So don't expect it to be all roses from the start. But you do want someone who will be honest with you, and not tell you just what you want to hear. Else, why pay for their advice. You want things to be challenged and clarified so you can make the best decisions for your life. A good therapist will do that, help YOU make the decisions. Also, don't expect a letter of referral for HRT right away. It takes a few visits before most therapists will do that.
Best of luck!
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Wing Walker on January 03, 2009, 10:53:18 PM
Post by: Wing Walker on January 03, 2009, 10:53:18 PM
Hi, Mika,
Confiding in anyone can be scary so the first thing that you might want to do is to confirm what should be obvious to both you and your therapist: that all you say is in strict confidence.
I have seen five therapists over time and I have never found one to be judgmental of me. I have been referred by my psychiatrist to see my gender therapist and she was, in my opinion, good at what she did.
In our first meeting she asked why I came to see her and I told her that I was transsexual. She then conducted an interview with me that included one question: What steps have you taken to live in the gender that you need to live in?" Before that meeting ended I had a concrete plan of action to start my transition.
I am not sure about how quickly any therapist will recommend any patient to a physician or endocrinologist for Hormone Replacement Therapy. In my case it was 92 days after I started gender therapy and i have not regretted it in the least.
To sum it up, establish that your talks are in full confidence, ask for ideas on how to start your transition, understand that a recommendation for HRT should (IMHO) take some time, and don't be afraid to stop the session if you feel that you are being judged.
I've been in your place before and i hope that what I have shared with you will help.
Wing Walker
Flyin' the Post-op Skies
Confiding in anyone can be scary so the first thing that you might want to do is to confirm what should be obvious to both you and your therapist: that all you say is in strict confidence.
I have seen five therapists over time and I have never found one to be judgmental of me. I have been referred by my psychiatrist to see my gender therapist and she was, in my opinion, good at what she did.
In our first meeting she asked why I came to see her and I told her that I was transsexual. She then conducted an interview with me that included one question: What steps have you taken to live in the gender that you need to live in?" Before that meeting ended I had a concrete plan of action to start my transition.
I am not sure about how quickly any therapist will recommend any patient to a physician or endocrinologist for Hormone Replacement Therapy. In my case it was 92 days after I started gender therapy and i have not regretted it in the least.
To sum it up, establish that your talks are in full confidence, ask for ideas on how to start your transition, understand that a recommendation for HRT should (IMHO) take some time, and don't be afraid to stop the session if you feel that you are being judged.
I've been in your place before and i hope that what I have shared with you will help.
Wing Walker
Flyin' the Post-op Skies
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 04, 2009, 11:36:43 AM
Post by: Chrissty on January 04, 2009, 11:36:43 AM
Quote from: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
I know I am new here and you all don't know me to well, but I was hoping maybe some of you can say something to me that will prevent me from chickening out and changing my mind.
Mika
I've got my first appointment booked next week after 50 years of fighting this on my own.
Don't make the same mistake, get that appointment confirmed and go.. if it doesn't work out you don't have to go back, and everthing is in confidence.
You know you can do it hon..... ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Arch on January 04, 2009, 12:40:36 PM
Post by: Arch on January 04, 2009, 12:40:36 PM
I had been through therapy a number of times before for non-trans things. But talking to my gender therapist for the first time may well be the scariest thing I have ever done in my life. I was at the end of my rope after repressing for years. I figured that if he wasn't the right one, I wouldn't have the guts to find someone else. All or nothing.
I guess I'll never find out what I would have done; everything worked out fine. He understood, and he did his best to put me at ease.
He has never failed me. Now I would trust him with my life. In a way, I already have.
Your therapist might not turn out to be a good fit for you, but of course you realize that if you don't go, you will never find out, and you'll never transition. Just keep telling yourself that this is the first big step to transition. And remember that the therapist WANTS you to feel safe.
I must be one of the biggest chickens in the known universe, but I did it. If I can do it, I know that you can. And it will get easier and easier. When you go in there for the first time, think of all of us at Susan's. We're behind you all the way.
Good vibes to you. Let us know how it goes. We're rooting for you.
I guess I'll never find out what I would have done; everything worked out fine. He understood, and he did his best to put me at ease.
He has never failed me. Now I would trust him with my life. In a way, I already have.
Your therapist might not turn out to be a good fit for you, but of course you realize that if you don't go, you will never find out, and you'll never transition. Just keep telling yourself that this is the first big step to transition. And remember that the therapist WANTS you to feel safe.
I must be one of the biggest chickens in the known universe, but I did it. If I can do it, I know that you can. And it will get easier and easier. When you go in there for the first time, think of all of us at Susan's. We're behind you all the way.
Good vibes to you. Let us know how it goes. We're rooting for you.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 05, 2009, 10:21:58 PM
Post by: paulault55 on January 05, 2009, 10:21:58 PM
Hi Mika,
I know this is scary, i had my first appointment the begining of December, i called their office on a Wednesday and they had a opening that afternoon, i had not prepared anything in advance but my therapist knew the right questions to ask and in the begining he asked me questions about other things till i told him about my gender issues, from that point that's pretty much all we talked about. When i left his office i felt like i got a 500 pound gorilla off my back. During the time between visits i jot down thoughts and questions on a pad so at the next visit i don't forget what i want to tell him. Tomorrow will be my sixth visit and i look forward to seeing him, he's almost like a friend and i trust him.
Paula.
I know this is scary, i had my first appointment the begining of December, i called their office on a Wednesday and they had a opening that afternoon, i had not prepared anything in advance but my therapist knew the right questions to ask and in the begining he asked me questions about other things till i told him about my gender issues, from that point that's pretty much all we talked about. When i left his office i felt like i got a 500 pound gorilla off my back. During the time between visits i jot down thoughts and questions on a pad so at the next visit i don't forget what i want to tell him. Tomorrow will be my sixth visit and i look forward to seeing him, he's almost like a friend and i trust him.
Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 12:29:20 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 12:29:20 PM
Thank you all for your support. Well, I've been making a few phone calls to therapists in my area. None of them answers thier phone. I leave messages but no one is returning my phone calls. I'm getting pretty sad right now. Maybe there is no one here that can help me. Because of my job, it is difficult for me to travel very far. I don't know, I'm tired. Thanks again for the kind responses.
Mika
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 06, 2009, 12:52:02 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 06, 2009, 12:52:02 PM
Hi Mika,
I found therapists not answering their phone and saying they would call back was quite common, plus the time of year may have an effect on their response (I know the ones I talked to booked appointments direct rather than through a receptionist). If they don't respond within a day give them another call. I was advised persistance would pay off, and it did for me on the second call. ;)
I wil say though, that if you haven't already booked an appointment, it could take a couple of weeks to get one. :-\
Good luck honey, please don't get depressed, you will get there. :icon_biggrin:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
I found therapists not answering their phone and saying they would call back was quite common, plus the time of year may have an effect on their response (I know the ones I talked to booked appointments direct rather than through a receptionist). If they don't respond within a day give them another call. I was advised persistance would pay off, and it did for me on the second call. ;)
I wil say though, that if you haven't already booked an appointment, it could take a couple of weeks to get one. :-\
Good luck honey, please don't get depressed, you will get there. :icon_biggrin:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 06, 2009, 01:31:34 PM
Post by: paulault55 on January 06, 2009, 01:31:34 PM
Hi Mika,
Did you look on the main page under medical there is a list of therapists and counselors grouped by state, maybe one is close by.
Paula.
Did you look on the main page under medical there is a list of therapists and counselors grouped by state, maybe one is close by.
Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 06:19:37 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 06:19:37 PM
Thank you Chrissty for sharing your experience. I'll keep looking and maybe I'll get someone to return my call. I don't think it would be a good idea to go at this alone without any proffesional help, but I'm not getting any younger so I don't know...
Paula, yes I have looked. The closest one on there is 45 min away. The phone number doesn't work though so I'm back to square one.
Mika
Paula, yes I have looked. The closest one on there is 45 min away. The phone number doesn't work though so I'm back to square one.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 06, 2009, 06:53:00 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 06, 2009, 06:53:00 PM
Hi Mika,
If you post a new topic requesting some suggestions for a local therapist on this forum stating you nearest town/city in the Subject Title (not your address) you may have some better luck if your struggling.
Chrissty
If you post a new topic requesting some suggestions for a local therapist on this forum stating you nearest town/city in the Subject Title (not your address) you may have some better luck if your struggling.
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 07:50:32 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 07:50:32 PM
Oh my! The therapist just called me back. She said she has experience with gender identity therapy and has transitioned past clients. She seemed really nice and easy to speak with on the phone. I have an appointment tommorow. Now I'm very nervous. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Chrissty you were right that perssistance does pay off, I called her three times.
Mika
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 06, 2009, 08:14:07 PM
Post by: paulault55 on January 06, 2009, 08:14:07 PM
Hi Mika,
Great news, i'm so happy for you, all i can say is be yourself when you go and let her guide you, i really like my therapist and look forward to each session, talking to him is like talking to a friend. Write things you want to ask her on a note pad, i do this between sessions so i don't forget something important.
Paula.
Great news, i'm so happy for you, all i can say is be yourself when you go and let her guide you, i really like my therapist and look forward to each session, talking to him is like talking to a friend. Write things you want to ask her on a note pad, i do this between sessions so i don't forget something important.
Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 07, 2009, 02:17:43 AM
Post by: Chrissty on January 07, 2009, 02:17:43 AM
Quote from: Mika N. on January 06, 2009, 07:50:32 PM
Oh my! The therapist just called me back. She said she has experience with gender identity therapy and has transitioned past clients. She seemed really nice and easy to speak with on the phone. I have an appointment tommorow. Now I'm very nervous. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. Chrissty you were right that perssistance does pay off, I called her three times.
Mika
I'm so pleased for you!
Take care, and let us know how you get on... ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 08, 2009, 03:49:43 AM
Post by: Mika N. on January 08, 2009, 03:49:43 AM
The therapy session I would say went pretty good. Being that I am so socially isolated, it was great having someone in real life to express myself the way I did to the therapist. In that one hour we spoke, she now knows more about the real me than anyone in real life. I am looking forward to my next appointment. I am feeling a strong desire to show up next time dressed up as a woman, the real me. I asked the therapist about that, and she said I should do that. Now I need to decide what would be a good outfit to wear for my next appointment. lol.
I can't thank you all enough for the supportive responses.
Mika
I can't thank you all enough for the supportive responses.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 04:04:43 AM
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 04:04:43 AM
Thats great Mika, I'm so pleased it went well..!
..it sometimes makes you wonder why we worry so much about these things.. :icon_biggrin:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
..it sometimes makes you wonder why we worry so much about these things.. :icon_biggrin:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 08, 2009, 07:46:58 AM
Post by: paulault55 on January 08, 2009, 07:46:58 AM
I'm so happy for you and i bet after, you felt that big sigh of releaf i know i did and you probably wondered like Chrissty said why you worried about it.
Paula.
Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: vanna on January 08, 2009, 11:22:15 AM
Post by: vanna on January 08, 2009, 11:22:15 AM
Quote from: Chrissty on January 04, 2009, 11:36:43 AMQuote from: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
I know I am new here and you all don't know me to well, but I was hoping maybe some of you can say something to me that will prevent me from chickening out and changing my mind.
Mika
I've got my first appointment booked next week after 50 years of fighting this on my own.
Don't make the same mistake, get that appointment confirmed and go.. if it doesn't work out you don't have to go back, and everthing is in confidence.
You know you can do it hon..... ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Did you decide on Dr C btw Chrissty hun?
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 02:36:26 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 02:36:26 PM
Quote from: Vanna on January 08, 2009, 11:22:15 AMQuote from: Chrissty on January 04, 2009, 11:36:43 AMQuote from: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
I know I am new here and you all don't know me to well, but I was hoping maybe some of you can say something to me that will prevent me from chickening out and changing my mind.
Mika
I've got my first appointment booked next week after 50 years of fighting this on my own.
Don't make the same mistake, get that appointment confirmed and go.. if it doesn't work out you don't have to go back, and everthing is in confidence.
You know you can do it hon..... ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Did you decide on Dr C btw Chrissty hun?
Hi Vanna,
Yes it's my first date with Sharon tomorrow at doctor C's place..... :icon_nervious:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 08, 2009, 02:58:11 PM
Post by: lizbeth on January 08, 2009, 02:58:11 PM
good luck chrissty! don't worry, before you know it, it will be over and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
:icon_hug:
:icon_hug:
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 03:12:48 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 03:12:48 PM
Quote from: eliza beth on January 08, 2009, 02:58:11 PM
good luck chrissty! don't worry, before you know it, it will be over and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
:icon_hug:
Thanks Elizabeth
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: vanna on January 08, 2009, 03:15:17 PM
Post by: vanna on January 08, 2009, 03:15:17 PM
Quote from: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 02:36:26 PMQuote from: Vanna on January 08, 2009, 11:22:15 AMQuote from: Chrissty on January 04, 2009, 11:36:43 AMQuote from: Mika N. on January 03, 2009, 07:01:12 PM
I know I am new here and you all don't know me to well, but I was hoping maybe some of you can say something to me that will prevent me from chickening out and changing my mind.
Mika
I've got my first appointment booked next week after 50 years of fighting this on my own.
Don't make the same mistake, get that appointment confirmed and go.. if it doesn't work out you don't have to go back, and everthing is in confidence.
You know you can do it hon..... ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Did you decide on Dr C btw Chrissty hun?
Hi Vanna,
Yes it's my first date with Sharon tomorrow at doctor C's place..... :icon_nervious:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Your be just fine then Chrissty hunny,
they are all wonderful people and once you have been your see any worries were for nothing.
Good luck :)
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 03:18:00 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 08, 2009, 03:18:00 PM
Quote from: Vanna on January 08, 2009, 03:15:17 PM
Your be just fine then Chrissty hunny,
they are all wonderful people and once you have been your see any worries were for nothing.
Good luck :)
Thanks Vanna
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 02:38:37 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 02:38:37 PM
Quote from: eliza beth on January 08, 2009, 02:58:11 PM
good luck chrissty! don't worry, before you know it, it will be over and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
:icon_hug:
Well it is all over, and we didn'd stop talking for a moment...
......so we decided it's back on the couch at the end of the month when I've saved a few more pennies to finish the formalities ! :icon_biggrin:
....and then she went and gave me homework too... :-\
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 09, 2009, 02:54:33 PM
Post by: lizbeth on January 09, 2009, 02:54:33 PM
that's good news! :icon_hug: I bet you feel relieved :D
it's the good kind of homework though, right?
it's the good kind of homework though, right?
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 03:14:19 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 03:14:19 PM
Quote from: eliza beth on January 09, 2009, 02:54:33 PM
that's good news! :icon_hug: I bet you feel relieved :D
it's the good kind of homework though, right?
Well getting to meet for the first time is over, but I won't really feel relieved until I have got a little deeper at the next session. :-\
...and No..... it one of those tricky "dig around in your head" and let me see the results type homeworks....
...easy to set... but darn' difficult to put into words....still, I'm game to try... ::)
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 09, 2009, 03:15:01 PM
Post by: paulault55 on January 09, 2009, 03:15:01 PM
Congrats Chrissty the first visit is the hardest and they really do get easier as time goes on, and btw i get the homework assignments too my last one was a doozey, i had to contact my hr dept. to find out about my companies EO policy not having gender identity in it, I'm now out to them and they are ok with me transitioning. So far my therapist, my laser tech and now my company knows about me, just have to get over the hurdle of coming out to everyone else.
Paula.
Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 09, 2009, 03:22:48 PM
Post by: lizbeth on January 09, 2009, 03:22:48 PM
i didn't have any home work like that, my homework was basically "set up an appt here for a check up and labs and start laser, see ya in 3 weeks"
are you talking about writing an essay or just some free writing to collect and organize your thoughts. I did some free writing just to help me make sense of the last 34 years so that I could be prepared to cover my life story.
either way, congrats are in order! :eusa_dance:
are you talking about writing an essay or just some free writing to collect and organize your thoughts. I did some free writing just to help me make sense of the last 34 years so that I could be prepared to cover my life story.
either way, congrats are in order! :eusa_dance:
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 03:42:13 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 09, 2009, 03:42:13 PM
Quote from: paulault55 on January 09, 2009, 03:15:01 PM
Congrats Chrissty the first visit is the hardest and they really do get easier as time goes on, and btw i get the homework assignments too my last one was a doozey, i had to contact my hr dept. to find out about my companies EO policy not having gender identity in it, I'm now out to them and they are ok with me transitioning. So far my therapist, my laser tech and now my company knows about me, just have to get over the hurdle of coming out to everyone else.
Paula.
Thanks for the congrats and advice... It sounds like it's really going well for you Paula..!
I think my problem is that I have a whole bunch of life issues that I am trying to balance with my GID, so we are going to need to work at this a differenent way.
Quote from: eliza beth on January 09, 2009, 03:22:48 PM
are you talking about writing an essay or just some free writing to collect and organize your thoughts.
either way, congrats are in order! :eusa_dance:
Thanks again Elizabeth.... We're talking "mind map", I already gave her 2 sheets of history and physc notes , and some of my pics...actually presenting the pics seemed to surprise her a little...but then nobody here has had to sit loookin at the ugly male me! :icon_yikes:
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: katherine on January 21, 2009, 01:19:10 PM
Post by: katherine on January 21, 2009, 01:19:10 PM
Hi! I caught this one late. Still browsing the forums. I'm so happy you've all gotten started with your therapy. Such a relief to get that first session out of the way! I truly hope your sessions go well. I've had my sessions but stopped short at rlt (a marriage issue) and am ready to move on. You girls look so lovely! Anyway, before I start rambling, I wish you a happy journey through your therapy sessions and what follows...
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 21, 2009, 06:48:24 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 21, 2009, 06:48:24 PM
Hi Katherine, thank you.
I've been browsing a lot lately also. Real life and my employment has kept me from schedualing another appointment. The situation has gotten me a bit bummed out. The therapist doesn't work on weekends so it has been very difficult to find some time. In the past few days I've been just hiding in my shell, putting on my mask and going to work. I've been working diligently on my female voice while commuting in my car to work.
Anyway to make myself feel a little better, I recently purchased a couple new outfits and a lot of makeup from MAC. Well, you can say I spent a lot of money. I'm still a bit sad because I really want to find some time to see my therapist again, but I guess I need to wait a bit till things in real life can afford me some time.
Mika
I've been browsing a lot lately also. Real life and my employment has kept me from schedualing another appointment. The situation has gotten me a bit bummed out. The therapist doesn't work on weekends so it has been very difficult to find some time. In the past few days I've been just hiding in my shell, putting on my mask and going to work. I've been working diligently on my female voice while commuting in my car to work.
Anyway to make myself feel a little better, I recently purchased a couple new outfits and a lot of makeup from MAC. Well, you can say I spent a lot of money. I'm still a bit sad because I really want to find some time to see my therapist again, but I guess I need to wait a bit till things in real life can afford me some time.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: 01803lpn on January 21, 2009, 07:38:35 PM
Post by: 01803lpn on January 21, 2009, 07:38:35 PM
I am trying to find the courage just to make an appointment. You have already taken such a huge step. I hope you go and talk. Maybe it will give me the courage to try rather than just hoping for a miracle. Good Luck and remember that no matter what happens you are cared for by many!!!!!
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: katherine on January 22, 2009, 02:24:19 AM
Post by: katherine on January 22, 2009, 02:24:19 AM
You're welcome, Mika. I know it can be very difficult to attend therapy while working. If you could manage even one day a month, that would help you considerably. I think your therapist would understand. Also, if you haven't, you may want to keep in touch with your therapist, just to keep him or her aware of your situation. I hope you'll be able to work it all out.
Hi Christine! As others have said on the forums, that first appointment will probably go much better than you think it will. Just find a therapist who is experienced with GID. I know my therapist was very easy to speak with, a very pleasant woman.
Hi Christine! As others have said on the forums, that first appointment will probably go much better than you think it will. Just find a therapist who is experienced with GID. I know my therapist was very easy to speak with, a very pleasant woman.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 22, 2009, 01:41:57 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 22, 2009, 01:41:57 PM
Quote from: Mika N. on January 21, 2009, 06:48:24 PM
I've been working diligently on my female voice while commuting in my car to work.
So Mika, I'm not the only one who practices in the car :icon_biggrin: ...have you started calling your own mobile number an leaving a message to check your progress yet?....
I hope you can find a way to get back to your therapist somehow... once a month is all I can afford at UK rates....
Quote from: Christine01803 on January 21, 2009, 07:38:35 PM
I am trying to find the courage just to make an appointment. You have already taken such a huge step. I hope you go and talk. Maybe it will give me the courage to try rather than just hoping for a miracle. Good Luck and remember that no matter what happens you are cared for by many!!!!!
Hi Christine, as Katherine says, a therapist appointment can be just chatting about how you feel and working a few things out. It does not have to be seen as a countdown to transition or anything else.
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: 01803lpn on January 22, 2009, 01:49:20 PM
Post by: 01803lpn on January 22, 2009, 01:49:20 PM
Intellectually I know all that but emotionally I am a wreck. I am working on it and set a deadline to call someone by Feb 1. Now if I dont I will think of it as letting myself down.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: paulault55 on January 22, 2009, 02:15:44 PM
Post by: paulault55 on January 22, 2009, 02:15:44 PM
Hi Christine,
If you don't make your deadline it's not the end of the world and nobody here would think you let yourself down. We all have been where you are right now and it is scary if you let yourself think that way. I know there are million thoughts going thru your mind right now, a therapist is there to help you sort things out and the first session or two they will ask most of the questions and all you have to do is answer truthfully, the question of do i have to dress to go comes up allot and all i can tell you is for the first visit at least go dressed however you feel comfortable. I waited till my 3rd visit before i dressed completely and my therapist didn't push me to do so. So this is an order girlfriend pick up the phone right now and make that appointment after your first visit it will feel like you got the world off your shoulders and wondered what the fuss was all about.
Hugs Paula.
If you don't make your deadline it's not the end of the world and nobody here would think you let yourself down. We all have been where you are right now and it is scary if you let yourself think that way. I know there are million thoughts going thru your mind right now, a therapist is there to help you sort things out and the first session or two they will ask most of the questions and all you have to do is answer truthfully, the question of do i have to dress to go comes up allot and all i can tell you is for the first visit at least go dressed however you feel comfortable. I waited till my 3rd visit before i dressed completely and my therapist didn't push me to do so. So this is an order girlfriend pick up the phone right now and make that appointment after your first visit it will feel like you got the world off your shoulders and wondered what the fuss was all about.
Hugs Paula.
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Chrissty on January 22, 2009, 02:32:58 PM
Post by: Chrissty on January 22, 2009, 02:32:58 PM
Quote from: Christine01803 on January 22, 2009, 01:49:20 PM
Intellectually I know all that but emotionally I am a wreck. I am working on it and set a deadline to call someone by Feb 1. Now if I dont I will think of it as letting myself down.
Hi Christine, Like Paula says it's not about deadlines or letting yourself down.
I went to my first appointment a couple of weeks ago simply because I was becoming an emotional wreck too..... ::)
I was becoming worried that I was loosing control, and might do something stupid....it does help!.. ;)
Chrissty
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 22, 2009, 06:41:17 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 22, 2009, 06:41:17 PM
Christine, let me say that I am so very glad I made that first appointment. Nervous and a little scared the night before, yes.
However, Randy put it so well by posting
"just remember why transition is important to you, and remind yourself that it's something you have to do."
I would like to thank Randy for stating that to me. That and all the positive reinforcement by people on this site helped me. I realize that I must complete my transition so that I can actually "live" my life. Staying the way I am (isolated, sad, pretending) isn't the way I want to exist for the rest of my life. I feel I wasted so many years being untrue to myself. I want to speak, feel, smell, dress, think, move, care like a woman; I want to be as complete a woman that I can possibly be. Christine, you can do it, make that call. I am also planning to see my therapist again in February. (Correction), I "will" see her again in Feburary.
Chrissty, that's a great idea! I never thought about doing that. I'm going to call myself a few times and leave voice messages to check how my phone voice sounds like. Looks like I'll be doing the once a month sessions too.
Mika
However, Randy put it so well by posting
"just remember why transition is important to you, and remind yourself that it's something you have to do."
I would like to thank Randy for stating that to me. That and all the positive reinforcement by people on this site helped me. I realize that I must complete my transition so that I can actually "live" my life. Staying the way I am (isolated, sad, pretending) isn't the way I want to exist for the rest of my life. I feel I wasted so many years being untrue to myself. I want to speak, feel, smell, dress, think, move, care like a woman; I want to be as complete a woman that I can possibly be. Christine, you can do it, make that call. I am also planning to see my therapist again in February. (Correction), I "will" see her again in Feburary.
Chrissty, that's a great idea! I never thought about doing that. I'm going to call myself a few times and leave voice messages to check how my phone voice sounds like. Looks like I'll be doing the once a month sessions too.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Randy on January 22, 2009, 09:00:21 PM
Post by: Randy on January 22, 2009, 09:00:21 PM
Quote from: Mika N. on January 22, 2009, 06:41:17 PM
I would like to thank Randy for stating that to me.
Glad I could help. :)
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: katherine on January 26, 2009, 04:58:14 AM
Post by: katherine on January 26, 2009, 04:58:14 AM
Hi Mika...
So, how did your session go? I hope you attended that it went well for you!
So, how did your session go? I hope you attended that it went well for you!
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Firelight on January 27, 2009, 08:54:25 AM
Post by: Firelight on January 27, 2009, 08:54:25 AM
Mika, we're in the exact same boat. I'm a week away from my first real therapy session, and my mind is completely full of questions. I also want to get started on transitioning as soon as I'm given the green light to do so. I've got a lot on my mind and was barely able to get any sleep at all tonight (a situation I expect to repeat itself as this time goes by). We'll just have to support each other as we go through this, being at such similar stages.
Stay frosty, girl. We'll make it! ;)
Stay frosty, girl. We'll make it! ;)
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Mika N. on January 27, 2009, 08:08:05 PM
Post by: Mika N. on January 27, 2009, 08:08:05 PM
Katherine,
My first therapy session went pretty good. Answered a lot of background get to know me questions ranging from my childhood experiences to the present. Then I just spilled my guts on everything I needed(transitioning, ffs, srs, hrt). She wasn't judgmental at all and very easy to speak with. From that first visit, she said that she didn't see any issues against me transitioning but wants to see me some more. She liked the perfume I was wearing. ^^
Firelight,
It is best to write all your questions down like the advice other people have said. That way you won't walk out and forget some things you want answered. Honestly, I didn't sleep much the night before; but afterwards I realized how much of a relief it was to let it all out to the therapist, and I kind of enjoyed the therapy session. I know other people had to look around a bit to find the right therapist, but so far I think I'll stick with this one. I think everyone gets nervous before thier first session, but really it isn't nothing to be scared about. Go and be honest with the therapist, you will be glad you did.
Mika
My first therapy session went pretty good. Answered a lot of background get to know me questions ranging from my childhood experiences to the present. Then I just spilled my guts on everything I needed(transitioning, ffs, srs, hrt). She wasn't judgmental at all and very easy to speak with. From that first visit, she said that she didn't see any issues against me transitioning but wants to see me some more. She liked the perfume I was wearing. ^^
Firelight,
It is best to write all your questions down like the advice other people have said. That way you won't walk out and forget some things you want answered. Honestly, I didn't sleep much the night before; but afterwards I realized how much of a relief it was to let it all out to the therapist, and I kind of enjoyed the therapy session. I know other people had to look around a bit to find the right therapist, but so far I think I'll stick with this one. I think everyone gets nervous before thier first session, but really it isn't nothing to be scared about. Go and be honest with the therapist, you will be glad you did.
Mika
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: Firelight on January 28, 2009, 12:16:51 AM
Post by: Firelight on January 28, 2009, 12:16:51 AM
Very nice advice, Mika. Advice I intend to take. One really great thing is that this is a specialist in TG therapy, so that's a very good thing. It's a little less than a week away, and believe me, I'll be counting the minutes...
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: lizbeth on January 28, 2009, 12:21:47 AM
Post by: lizbeth on January 28, 2009, 12:21:47 AM
Mika! you deserve a big hug! :icon_hug:
i'm glad your first time went well :)
firelight, the buildup to the first session is so much worse than the actual session. it's hard not to have all those thought run through your head, but once it's over you'll be so releived.
we're all here to support each other. :)
i'm glad your first time went well :)
firelight, the buildup to the first session is so much worse than the actual session. it's hard not to have all those thought run through your head, but once it's over you'll be so releived.
we're all here to support each other. :)
Title: Re: Going to see a Therapist but afraid.
Post by: katherine on January 28, 2009, 01:13:01 AM
Post by: katherine on January 28, 2009, 01:13:01 AM
Hi Mika, Firelight,
I agree with Eliza beth, the waiting is worse than that first session. So many worries and questions, and when that first session is over, so much relief.
Congratulations Mika! I'm happy you followed through and attended your session! I know it is such a relief to speak with someone about all the feelings we keep inside. Like Eliza beth said, we are here to support each other...
I agree with Eliza beth, the waiting is worse than that first session. So many worries and questions, and when that first session is over, so much relief.
Congratulations Mika! I'm happy you followed through and attended your session! I know it is such a relief to speak with someone about all the feelings we keep inside. Like Eliza beth said, we are here to support each other...