Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I realized I was transsexual when I got a brilliant report card [A+ for the whole year] and burst into tears because the teacher had said I was a "brilliant young lady".
Getting upset over something that was supposedly true was what alerted me to the fact that I really despised being physically female.
Before then, I'd thought I played sport with the boys because it was fun - I didn't realize it was because I was trying to be one of them myself.

Did you guys know all along? And if not, what happened for you to realize it?

i was on a board for furries and there was a trans woman there and i was like BAM... they DO exist... except im a trans guy.  but the whole switcheroo never really occured to me in real life untill that moment.  that happened almost exactly a year ago.

When I was little, probably around 4 or 5 I told everyone I was a boy and I wouldn't let anyone call me by my birthname, they had to call me my chosen male name or I wouldn't answer to them.  Then when I was old enough to realize I wasn't physically male I tried my hardest to look like I was. When I was about 9 or 10 one of my older friends said I was to strong to be a girl and I should get a sex change because I was suppose to be a boy. That's when I decided that's what I wanted to do.  I talked to one of my friends about it when I was around 10 and my mom found out and yelled at me. So i tried to just act like i was a "lesbian." About 2 or 3 years ago I started researching "transgender." With the help of my fiance I then began making strides to become who I really am. Basically my entire life it was in the back of my mind. Now that I am actually old enough to do something about it, i am.

like most trans guys, i knew there was something different about me from when i was very little. i just kinda assumed i would grow up to be a man, but when i got older and realized this wouldn't happen i jus tried to accept it, i didn't really know that people could transition. when i was like 13 i figured i was just a lesbian and completely embraced that identity. it wasn't until the end of 2007, when i was 17, i was introduced to one of my girlfriend's friends, who was just a normal guy. after he left she told me he was born a girl, which fascinated me and i started researching and realized this is who i am..

Quote from: Josh on January 12, 2009, 10:42:00 PM
i was on a board for furries and there was a trans woman there and i was like BAM... they DO exist... except im a trans guy.  but the whole switcheroo never really occured to me in real life untill that moment.  that happened almost exactly a year ago.

what the hell is it with young FTMs and furrydom?!?!

I didn't know, but there were small hints from as early as kindergarden, but not enough to make me realize. But I was always depressed as a kid cause I knew there was something different about me but I didn't know what it was. It's like when someone is following you down the street, and you know they're there, but every time you turn around, they disappear. I figured out that difference when I started my period. I really wanted to cry that day, for no particular reason. I just felt something really bad had just happened. Turns out I was right. From there, it grew until I knew what I was. Kinda weird.

I guess I'm a freak 'cause I certainly did not know when I was very young. I was quite the tomboy, and everyone said so, so I figured that's what I was. I was fine being a tomboy, as it gave me a special kind of pass. "Oh, she can climb trees with her friends 'cause she's a TOMBOY." "We don't have to worry about her swimming a mile into the ocean--she's a TOMBOY!!!!!" I figured my mom knew my friends would take care of me, as I was (understandably) the runt, and take care of me they did, though reluctantly.

The first time I realized something was wrong, my friend wanted to play some game that required a penis (I think it had to do with erections--to this day I really have no clue). He kind of started and then frowned and said I needed one or I couldn't play. He wasn't mean about it, even trying to make one out of paper for me (lol!) but I felt really bad and refused. The only other time something like that happened was when his mom said we could play in the bath tub together, and I assumed we'd have something on, and when I figured out I'd have to strip I balked. Not because he was a boy and I was a girl, but because I was embarrassed and didn't want him looking at me. I felt inferior.

I identified strongly with the LGB scene at my middle school and started telling people I was bi then. I wore lots of skirts and girly clothes in middle school because that was how the cool girls dressed, and I thought I was a girl.

The first time I talked to someone about being trans was actually the first time I talked to my now best friend online. I didn't even have a word for it ("I feel like I want to be with a boy but not as a girl, as another boy."). I started questioning then, but not too deeply, as I had an abusive boyfriend who would have freaked.

When I finally got away from him I tried to girl thing again, as he hadn't let me wear any girly clothes in a long time. One day it came to me that I wanted to try to "go as a boy", so... I went to the store, bought some Ace bandages, and never looked back.

Quote from: Mister on January 12, 2009, 11:40:56 PM

Quote from: Josh on January 12, 2009, 10:42:00 PM
i was on a board for furries and there was a trans woman there and i was like BAM... they DO exist... except im a trans guy.  but the whole switcheroo never really occured to me in real life untill that moment.  that happened almost exactly a year ago.

what the hell is it with young FTMs and furrydom?!?!

uh... i was never into it...  ???

Quote from: iFindMeHere on January 13, 2009, 09:37:31 AM

Quote from: Mister on January 12, 2009, 11:40:56 PM

Quote from: Josh on January 12, 2009, 10:42:00 PM
i was on a board for furries and there was a trans woman there and i was like BAM... they DO exist... except im a trans guy.  but the whole switcheroo never really occured to me in real life untill that moment.  that happened almost exactly a year ago.

what the hell is it with young FTMs and furrydom?!?!

uh... i was never into it...  ???

when I say young, I mean like...  22 and under.  possibly younger than that.  the 18-19-20 year old set seems to be obsessed with, um, animals.

From Kindergarten to 2nd Grade, I told all my friends that I was born a dude, but my stuff was bitten off by a dog, so my family tried to make me into a girl instead.

I knew even then that I was lying through my teeth, but it felt cool to have them refer to me with male pronouns. Unfortunately, the teacher found out and made me admit 'the truth' in front of the class.

Quote from: Pay-Parrot on January 13, 2009, 09:58:50 AM
From Kindergarten to 2nd Grade, I told all my friends that I was born a dude, but my stuff was bitten off by a dog, so my family tried to make me into a girl instead.

I knew even then that I was lying through my teeth, but it felt cool to have them refer to me with male pronouns. Unfortunately, the teacher found out and made me admit 'the truth' in front of the class.

UGH humiliating. I'm sorry dude.

anyway. I guess boys jeans were less expensive/more durable when I was little and so my mom bought them for me (we were not well off)... but they made me feel bad because they had space for something I didn't have (early GID, maybe). But my family is heterofascist and abusive so I had no voice, no language for what I was feeling. Things like having to wear skirts on Chapel Day (baptist school) and going to a christian "Girl Scouts" thing (anyone heard of STARs? fka Missionettes  :icon_blah:).

When my mom started insisting I wear a bra... that was when the world really fell apart. "Enduring Sense of Horror" sounds about right.

Abortive attempts to be myself included 6-month cycles of dressing to please mom and dad vs. being myself... home haircuts at 12... at 14 i wore about what I wear now... at 15, i came out as "bisexual" for about two weeks (NOPE MOM I WAS WRONG EVERYTHINGS FINE YUP THANKS)... in 2003 I started describing myself as a gay man... i had relationships but they were uncomfortable 'cause they'd act like I'm a woman (understandable mistake, i'm damn pretty). At least I was getting laid? lol.

when i started meeting people like us it was simultaneous "wtf" and "omg yes this". still... the guys I met were hypermacho, so "i guess i'm not :( " probably set me back 3 years. Wish I could have met some swishy ->-bleeped-<-s. but here I am.

for me it was really young ! and growing up in an orthodox jewish family i always had to be "aware" of my gender and how wrong i felt!
when i was around 5 or six i would walk around saying i was a boy and my parents always had to "convince" me i wasnt.i was never convinced till this day lol!
but puberty was really the breaking point i would bind and deny what my body was going through causing me to turn to anorexia and bulimia.i even used to intentionally crack my voice lol it was sad but um thank g-d for today
it is wonderfully to live in a time when 1 can go through a physical treatment because it IS a lifesaver!

3 years ago. i thought you had to be lesbian to be ftm before then.
but as for when i knew i was male - i don't remember not knowing except that i thought i was crazy for it. i didn't think it was really possible.

i sat down one day and thought to myself how i could be more myself and i began thoroughly exploring what it was i really wanted in my head. It came to th conclusion i'm really a guy, not a girl.

I've always had feelings that something wasn't quite right

When I was a kid I dressed like a boy and had short hair, anyone new i met assumed I was a lad. When puberty started and I started to "develop" I really hated it.

I've always super hated anyone referring to me in a feminine manner, I always wanted to come across as tough and macho

about 6 months ago I was walking to my sisters house and some guy stopped me in the street to comment on how scary my marilyn manson hoody looked. (drunken people always seem to make random conversation with me) He then walked off and said to his mate stood across the street "Have you seen that young lads hoody?" and pointed at me

It felt really awesome that some random person (albeit, drunk, and at night, but whatever) thought I was a guy, that's when it hit me....I am supposed to be a guy

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 07:46:53 PM

It felt really awesome that some random person (albeit, drunk, and at night, but whatever) thought I was a guy, that's when it hit me....I am supposed to be a guy

Got the same thing, one time when i was wearing a skirt lol IT WAS BRILLIANT

Quote from: iFindMeHere on January 13, 2009, 08:32:15 PM

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 07:46:53 PM

It felt really awesome that some random person (albeit, drunk, and at night, but whatever) thought I was a guy, that's when it hit me....I am supposed to be a guy

Got the same thing, one time when i was wearing a skirt lol IT WAS BRILLIANT

I find it amusing when people tell me I look like a boy when they mean it as an insult, when I'm all like "really? awesome"

Unfortunately it happens on the other end of the scale when somebody's trying to give me a compliment. Saying I'm pretty, or have a nice figure. I've had many people tell me they'd kill for my boobs and it's like, take them! Seriously!

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 08:48:47 PM

Quote from: iFindMeHere on January 13, 2009, 08:32:15 PM

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 07:46:53 PM

It felt really awesome that some random person (albeit, drunk, and at night, but whatever) thought I was a guy, that's when it hit me....I am supposed to be a guy

Got the same thing, one time when i was wearing a skirt lol IT WAS BRILLIANT

I find it amusing when people tell me I look like a boy when they mean it as an insult, when I'm all like "really? awesome"

Unfortunately it happens on the other end of the scale when somebody's trying to give me a compliment. Saying I'm pretty, or have a nice figure. I've had many people tell me they'd kill for my boobs and it's like, take them! Seriously!

yep. Apparently I'm pretty. It's a bane.

I had an instance once when i was working in retail. I was proper gothed up, long hair, make-up. Some little kid my mate was serving looked at me and said: "Are you a boy or a girl?" Well, we know what i wanted to say... but my colleague jumped in and said i was a girl  :-\ Bugged me ever since that how much i wanted to say boy.

I figured out when I was 12 . . . kind of.  At that point, I thought I had only figured out that I was not a girl, and thought I was androgyne.  This was mostly because I was caught up in gender stereotypes, although there is a lot of truth to that sentiment.  When I dropped the stereotypes a few months after (hey, boys can wear skirts!), then I stopped identifying as androgyne, although I still have never identified strongly as male, and so have brought that back a little bit.
Adrian

Quote from: jonjon on January 14, 2009, 04:18:02 AM
I had an instance once when i was working in retail. I was proper gothed up, long hair, make-up. Some little kid my mate was serving looked at me and said: "Are you a boy or a girl?" Well, we know what i wanted to say... but my colleague jumped in and said i was a girl  :-\ Bugged me ever since that how much i wanted to say boy.

Gothic culture has an interesting prevalence of gender variance.... I am a goth too :) not that you can tell by the way I dress. I'm too old to wear graver pants so the best I can do with my hips is synthpop (cargo pants). I MISS MY SLINKY FABRICS.

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 08:48:47 PM

I find it amusing when people tell me I look like a boy when they mean it as an insult, when I'm all like "really? awesome"

Me too hahaha

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 08:48:47 PM

Quote from: iFindMeHere on January 13, 2009, 08:32:15 PM

Quote from: Jeatyn on January 13, 2009, 07:46:53 PM

It felt really awesome that some random person (albeit, drunk, and at night, but whatever) thought I was a guy, that's when it hit me....I am supposed to be a guy

Got the same thing, one time when i was wearing a skirt lol IT WAS BRILLIANT

I find it amusing when people tell me I look like a boy when they mean it as an insult, when I'm all like "really? awesome"

Unfortunately it happens on the other end of the scale when somebody's trying to give me a compliment. Saying I'm pretty, or have a nice figure. I've had many people tell me they'd kill for my boobs and it's like, take them! Seriously!

This happens to me all the time! People are trying to insult me (not many people like me because I'm too manly) or maybe just tease me, and so they're like 'You look like a guy!'. And I don't respond, but I'm thinking 'If you're going to insult someone, find out what they find insulting first. But, thanks anyway.'

And then people are complimenting girly things about me (no example but my parents say I'm pretty a lot to try and make me feel better; it doesn't work), and I'm thinking the same thing, except other direction and a little kinder sounding cause at least their trying to compliment me instead of insult me.

And then my sister's jealous because I have bigger boobs than her, and I'm like 'Dude, you can have them! I don't want them!'.