Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've been told by my shrink that if I present as my true self then I will probably get bashed has anyone else been told this and has any one recieved violence for not conforming to the Male/Female accepted presentation

nope.

I've never experienced physical violence due to gender presentation, however I've had a couple of close calls, mostly verbal taunting.

Z

Just curious, was your psychologist just presenting you with the facts or was it asking you to not be androgynous-looking?

I've had some people laugh, but hey, I'm told I'm a very funny person, no matter how I'm dressed.

Quote from: Burgundy on January 18, 2009, 07:49:15 PM
Just curious, was your psychologist just presenting you with the facts or was it asking you to not be androgynous-looking?

"If I wear very femine clothes with my beard then I'm probably going to get bashed so I should not wear clearly girl clothes"  so she thinks that they are facts
I've had giggles from stranges and strange comments from little kids
young boy - Mum why is that man wearing....
Mother - Shhhhhhhh
these times have made me smile

I've never been physically threatened, but I don't always look androgynous either, but I do get some funny looks at times, probably from people trying to figure out if I'm a boyish looking girl or a slightly feminine looking boy :D

I like to cause confusion sometimes, because then it makes people think.

Last month I had a guy get grabby at my goodie places in the parking lot of my apt.s. I finally pried him off and walked inside the lobby. So then he tried to attack me with a snow shovel. I did the duck and weave and ran away. While trying to hit me he set off a fire alarm. Several neighbors came out and found him with his pants around his ankles and clutching the fire alarm, trying to turn it off. The police wanted me to press charges. But I declined.

Two boys tried to rape me in the high school gym showers several years ago. They didn't get in much trouble. but were suspended and sent to therapy.
My step dad started teaching me Tia Kwon do and Jujitsu

Most other attacks were by muggers when I wasn't dressed. But I think they saw me as a target based on my fem. persona

My mouth started getting me in trouble long before my clothing choices, so I began with judo and karate, and then went into Shaolin, then perfected those skills working stage and club security.  By the time I was in college, if you were not a master or a linebacker, best of luck.

When I moved to coventry, I spent two terms in a school that had a strict uniform where I was constantly harassed, not because I didn't wear the uniform, but because I wore it wrong. I had a neat tie, I had plain socks, I used to go around in a knee length brown leather coat, I had matching brown doc martin boots and I had a lemon yellow rucksack. All this was not conforming to either the school or the pupils views of the right accoutrements required, and so both staff and pupils pestered me about it. I ignored them.

Weirdly enough, the school before when I could wear whatever I wanted, and chose some pretty garish items of clothing and I was either ignored or complemented.

To this day I just regard it as an example of the extraordinary small mindedness of the coventry people.

That's why Churchill let the German's bomb the >-bleeped-< out of them without putting up a single plane to defend it.  (OK, I know there is another real reason, but I like mine more.)

i made a new version of this popular song when i was there.

cov is burning
cov is burning
pour on petrol
pour on petrol
fire, fire
fire, fire
fetch the champagne
fetch the champagne

Just call the Luftwaffe, everyone like to play their greatest hits.

Quote from: Pica Pica on January 19, 2009, 02:18:17 AM


I just regard it as an example of the extraordinary small mindedness of the coventry people.

Yeah, the bigoted judge mental conditioned Frick and Fracks

kinkly, i have not personally been in your situation, but i know someone who was.  he is a male bodied androgyne and he has a beard and wears womens clothing.  he was beaten up while walking home.  fortunately, it seems to be a very rare occurence with the people i know.  and i know quite a few gender non-conformists.

Quote from: Phate on January 18, 2009, 09:08:58 PM

I like to cause confusion sometimes, because then it makes people think.

I'm the same,
I also love the inosence of young kids

sometimes it can be kind of scary going out in a dress or something but nothing has ever happened, and then suddenly people will actually seem pretty supportive and understanding.. it really builds my faith in humanity to be around total strangers and feel like i'm totally at home. I guess its because people empathize more than you'd think.

I have not experienced any violence but I have been around people that I would never want to be isolated with, you can see the violence simmering beneith their eyes - a kind of inhuman "must destroy" look. They just need the right trigger to ignite.

I'm fairly careful in simply avoiding possible situations. New Zealand is probably relatively safe too.

I never experienced much violence at school except for standing up for myself. I got more flak for being a bit of a nerd than anything else.

I've had snide comments and a few threats, but no actual violence ... yet.

yet?....you hoping to be beaten?

I have experied only violance from some close person. And it has never been severe.  :embarrassed:

That is how ''all'' people do to trannies and assault that only leaves some little pain to few days.

I think the pain inside lasts much longer.  :'(

It does hurt, and it hurts to depths you may have never known before.  The more you evolve and grow to become in-touch with the innerself, the "true self," the more it is like being ripped apart from the inside out.

I don't know if the people doing the hurting realise they are hurting you that profoundly.  Somehow they believe that they are doing well by you and may do so by showing their lack of acknowledgment of your true, "new" self by still calling you by your old name or using the improper gender pronoun.

This form of teaching seems to be what loved ones know best:  cruelty.

Cindy

I have met people (mostly female) that know that I am transwoman. Their attitude has been from neutral to supportive. However one of my (female) family member uses both physical and emotional violance and calls me then a freak, a >-bleeped-< or some other words. But I hope that it is only a stage that goes away.

They either believe what they are saying or doing it in an atempt in trying to discourage you or are just straight out rejecting you for who you are. Either way it is certainly not being supportive. It is just plain being disrespectful, uncaring, and demeaning of anothers feelings, emotions. Regardless both ways are without much thought and empathy for your well being and happiness.

I to had way more women friends that were supportive then those that were none supportive, especially family, all I can say is crap on family!!! You'll get more support from friends then you ever will family. Eventually family may come around to be supportive, but there is just about as much of a chance of that happening as being able to breath underwater without the aid of under water breathing apparatus.

Cindy

Thanx for the replies I don't know how many are comenting on my situation or someone elses coment pls add my name or a quote to anything diracted to me thanks

Sorry I was responding to Some MTF and Nicky I didn't check the beginning of the thread to see who posted it. I just stepped in where it ended, again my apologies.

Cindy

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Post Merge: January 21, 2009, 02:11:07 PM

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Anyone interested in continuing what we were discussing in the last three posts I have just opened a new thread in the MTF forums

How supportive were Family and Friends when you came out

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54124.new.html#new (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54124.new.html#new)

See ya there
Cindy

In regards to the original post:

Nope.  No one's ever bothered me.  But then again, I was 5'1" by the time I was 10, so yeah, I was bigger than most of the kids I was around.  And I'm from a small town where everyone knows everyone else.  There really wasn't much bullying there. 

But the trans group I go to (...sort of skipped this month, but anyway) are from an older generation and they meet in a really hidden place.  You can tell that they are really worried about that sort of thing.  The weird part is that they hide as much as they do, but they meet in the most liberal and accepting part of town (really, they'd be perfectly fine there).  I actually wondered around outside for about 15-20 minutes looking for the proper door and didn't find it until one of the girls from the group showed up.

I grew up in an inner-city where it was common to be attacked by kids (strangers). Religion or androgeny didn't seem to have anything to do with it. I never mastered running, but learned to hold my own until the attacker got bored and moved on.

I have one fellow at work who taunts me for my long hair, but I've written about that, and only once did he do anything but talk. I refuse to change who I am to suit him.

Sometimes personal things disappear at work, e.g.: my jacket and water bottle. My jacket and ID card turned up at lost and found. I don't know who or why, but another water bottle disappeared today--from my coat pocket--leaving me sad and annoyed.

Quietly defiant,
S

Quote from: Simone Louise on January 23, 2009, 09:41:58 PM
Sometimes personal things disappear at work, e.g.: my jacket and water bottle. My jacket and ID card turned up at lost and found. I don't know who or why, but another water bottle disappeared today--from my coat pocket--leaving me sad and annoyed.

Sorry about the harassment at work!

We could send the guard sheep after them   ;)

Z

Quote from: Zythyra on January 23, 2009, 11:05:09 PM

Quote from: Simone Louise on January 23, 2009, 09:41:58 PM
Sometimes personal things disappear at work, e.g.: my jacket and water bottle. My jacket and ID card turned up at lost and found. I don't know who or why, but another water bottle disappeared today--from my coat pocket--leaving me sad and annoyed.

Sorry about the harassment at work!

We could send the guard sheep after them   ;)

Z

Excellent idea, those snarling sheep should send a message, dang it!