Susan's Place Transgender Resources

ok. so it turns out that my doctor lady is a little worried about not making enough progress in my wardrobe - ie not dressing girl clothes enough. and is wondering about my committment.


given that i do not have much taste/idea of current fashion and it is quite difficult for me to start out right away with pair of skirts and spaghetti strap (not trying to be sterotypical, but just exaggerating a bit), a friend suggested that i go androgyney first hand but more towards femenine style.
ie wear girl jeans but less embrodary and not as tight, wear shirts that girls might wear, etc.

even that, i have difficult distinguishing between a guy's and a girl's jeans. let along anything else.
was wondering if anyone can lend a hand about what i should pick and what to wear, what not to wear (avoid suspicion). i mean, there HAS to be some suttle difference right?

anyways, i guess i just need suggestion not just in jeans, but any other appeals that are appropriate.


thanks in advance

I agree with your friend. Concentrate on shopping in the female section. Start buying the type of clothes you always wear but made for women.

Often the difference is just the cut of the clothing when your talking about basics like jeans and T's and shorts. If you try some on you will see what I mean.

My advise is to just go for whatever you think looks good on you or takes your fancy. This is all anyone does. As long as you dress age appropriate I don't think you can go too far wrong. I would suggest doing some people watching to get an idea of what other women are wearing, look in catalogues and look at how outfits are put together. If you have some girlfriends they will be your best help.

I would go for stuff you can mix and match e.g. jeans, skirts, and various tops. That way you can make the most of a limited wardrobe.

Quote from: Nero on January 21, 2009, 07:21:32 PM
I agree with your friend. Concentrate on shopping in the female section. Start buying the type of clothes you always wear but made for women.

I think I'm wearing a pink waffle-long sleeved shirt...

I figured it might go with something, but its not REALLY my color per se.

I dk. Maybe I like playing around with my wardrobe more now that I'm free to do so XD.

But I'm mostly for that dystopian future look. Like... I have a jacket thats a bit between Clerks, Pirate like, and Future Trunks' Capsule Corp jacket. Its pretty awesome and I'm going to get a feminine one when I can, I swear. That can be my birthday present.

I'm aiming for something between a lot of styles I suppose... D:

OH clothes...

Once I learn how to use a sewing machine I will be the Queen of Chemical Plant Zone. :3

Yeah. Feel free to play around with stuff you weren't able to wear pre-transition and girliness, but don't lose yourself I suppose.

First of all what its your age range?

And second I think your friend advice its quite good. It mostly depends on where you live and your age. Jeans and some tops (spaghetti or polo) sounds good.


What to avoid?

Hmm maybe at this moment, heels and mini skirts that are too much mini :p

I agree with everyone else about age appropriate clothing, Go to the mall and observe what others are wearing that's what i did. I don't know how many sessions you have had but when i started i just came as him for the first couple then started dressing a little more at each session till now i go as Paula, my therapist never once asked me to dress i did it on my own. I know there are others here that will disagree with me but i don't think you should feel pressured to wear womens's clothes yet if you don't feel comfortable. Women's jeans and women's Reboks is what i started with then added a wig, top and makeup. I usually have to wait in the waiting room for a few minutes and others there never give me a second glance. I see alot of young women wearing hoodies, i live in Cleveland and it gets pretty cold these days. So women's jeans a hoodie and Reboks or Nike type shoes would look ok depending on where you live.

Paula.

thanks, everyone, for the support and suggestions.
honestly after i pressed the submit button, i figured that i was asking a rhetorical question...
sometimes the clothes look so similiar, i just don't understand what defines what?

as for what i am getting.....if anything, my preference kind of turn towards goth and emo  :D  (then again, pulling it off is another question. what look good on a gGIRL on magazine, doesn't necessary transfer).

i am close to 30 y.o now.. but i think i can still fancy the jeans and shirts. so, i think that will be what i aim for.
mind you that i am not tall and do not have legs like a broomstick as many teenagers are like out there.
skirts and fancy top are out of the question now.

i will be shopping tomorrow and definatly will do my research!

thanks again!

Quote from: cyanide on January 21, 2009, 07:07:06 PM
ok. so it turns out that my doctor lady is a little worried about not making enough progress in my wardrobe - ie not dressing girl clothes enough. and is wondering about my commitment.

OMG, commitment to what? This is scary, very 70's-Johns-Hopkinsish. I know you were exaggerating about the skirt and spaghetti straps, but it's a scary thought to say the least.

I'd suggest finding a comfort level with androgyny, see how that works for you.

Ideas, I don't know...muted earth tones, flared jeans, layering your shirts so you can see the bottom layer(long, thin girl shirt underneath and hoodie over it or a long-sleeved t over it), girl cardigans, get your eyebrows thinned out, both ears pierced with girlish studs (little flowers or something) in them, girl shoes, girl socks, start wearing your hair a little differently....

the point here is to get people used to seeing a different you. break them in now. are you out to them? where are you in transition? use this stage to come out..."why do you look like a girl?" 'well, i'm glad you asked, you have a few hours...' then talk and answer questions. By the time you go full time, everyone will know and it will hopefully be a little seamless. Slowly start to shift your wardrobe from guy clothes to girl clothes and get to the point where there isn't ANY place you'd wear guy clothes because that's how full time is.

anyway, just some of the things that worked for me. i did all that and took a year to go full time. it was at my pace and comfortable for me, especially coming out. it got to the point where when i told people, it...just...made...sense...i hope this helps you :) meghan

[quote auhor=MeghanAndre]
deas, I don't know...muted earth tones, flared jeans, layering your shirts so you can see the bottom layer(long, thin girl shirt underneath and hoodie over it or a long-sleeved t over it),
[/quote]

that's a nice idea...

Quote from: scarboroughfair on January 24, 2009, 08:46:50 AM
I won't even read the responses to this thread! lol

To me the answer is simple, you wear what yiou like! Don't wear women's clothing if it doesn't suit you, wear what YOU want to wear!

What make you feel good, what makes you comfortable?
What appeals to YOU?
That's what makes you who you are. :-*

:)
i am comfortable wearing male and female clothings. but i know what you mean about comfortablity(sp). and thus, i don't find the spaghetti-strap and miniskirt appealing. i can wear it but i don't feel it.

i know all about this i have to be ME type of idea. And, i am well aware of that, if i don't feel comfortable, no most-ultra-feminine-clothings in the whole wide world will make me a woman; but, i also think that there are a lot of consideration i should put in. Being ME is just not enough...


--
sidenote: my doctor lady was pretty nice actually, i understand her consideration and she is by no means the "traditional" type in way of treatment. honestly, if you look at my pic, you'll understand what she meant.

EVOLVE. It takes time to find your own style but the best tip I can offer is to dress to be as comfortable as possible and be at ease wearing because there are more important matters in life.

For me it is all about jeans, cute tops and tees.  Winter it is sweaters.  I have a few skirts, a couple of little black dresses ( should I ever go out on the town ).  But where I work it is jeans and tees.  Most of the women who come in the store wear the same thing.

It is all about what is age appropriate and what you like.  Color wise, try different things.  I have found and been told that greens are my color.  So what else would you expect from an Irish girl.

Janet

I think over time you will find out what works and what doesn't work for you and you will get your own style. I know some things don't work for me like full length woollen dresses I just look awful so mostly I buy tops, trousers and skirts (only short or long) and even with skirts I don't look good in medium length skirts. That's to do with the shape of my legs, or more to the point, knee, lol. 

ALL the above advice and look and scrutinise what other women are wearing, how they have put together certain items, etc.

hugs

Stardust 

Just remember choosing flattering clothes has a lot to do with how your body is. But also you can just forget that and experiment.

Hello girls, so before opening a new topic a small search has showed me that there is a similar line from before.

So I wanted to share my evolution on clothing, because I am finding it very interesting.

When I started my reaffirmation and was certain that I wanted to transition, I would look for the most feminine clothes I could find. I would try to show that I was more a woman than any other, using skirts and all the feminine cliches that you can think of.

After some time, I was confident on my decision and continued with voice training, long hair and HRT my desire to dress so girly started changing and didn't need to be so feminine all the time, just when I wanted.

Now, after some years, still during my transition, my underwear is femenine, but my outer clothes have gone to a more comfortable style, as Jennifer was saying here.

Quote from: JENNIFER on January 24, 2009, 01:16:32 PMEVOLVE. It takes time to find your own style but the best tip I can offer is to dress to be as comfortable as possible and be at ease wearing because there are more important matters in life.

This doesn't mean that every now and then I dress up, but I do it for myself and whenever I want.

I believe that as my confidence on myself increases, the need to show it of to the world decreases.
Now, at home, I use my leggings, sweatshirts and any other comfortable girl clothing, and when going outside, jeans and shirts are very usual...until summer, when I do enjoy dresses and skirts.

Has this happened to any of you?

Hugs Anne ❤️

I'm the same. I still like to dress up every now and then but the majority of the time I'm wearing skinny jeans, leggings or a long maxi skirt or dress with a slouchy top or big jumper.

As I have been trans all my life, I was dressing in my teens and younger years so I have gone through the mini skirts and mini dress stage when I was young, albeit in the closet!

Weirdly I feel dressing the way I do now is more affirming as this is how women dress all the time. It may be the HRT but I think I look more convincingly female too.

I love leggings and a nice feminine sweatshirt for comfort. Or sometimes a cute t shirt, cardigan and baggy pants. I do love dresses though as I'm really into the cutesy look. Only avoid unisex or male clothing now as getting misgendered constantly is no fun!

Charlotte

Quote from: Anne_lifetrip on February 25, 2026, 08:18:00 AMHello girls, so before opening a new topic a small search has showed me that there is a similar line from before.

So I wanted to share my evolution on clothing, because I am finding it very interesting.

When I started my reaffirmation and was certain that I wanted to transition, I would look for the most feminine clothes I could find. I would try to show that I was more a woman than any other, using skirts and all the feminine cliches that you can think of.

After some time, I was confident on my decision and continued with voice training, long hair and HRT my desire to dress so girly started changing and didn't need to be so feminine all the time, just when I wanted.

Now, after some years, still during my transition, my underwear is femenine, but my outer clothes have gone to a more comfortable style, as Jennifer was saying here.

This doesn't mean that every now and then I dress up, but I do it for myself and whenever I want.

I believe that as my confidence on myself increases, the need to show it of to the world decreases.
Now, at home, I use my leggings, sweatshirts and any other comfortable girl clothing, and when going outside, jeans and shirts are very usual...until summer, when I do enjoy dresses and skirts.

Has this happened to any of you?

Hugs Anne ❤️

Your clothing evolves as your age and time  moves along

I started my feminine journey at the age of 19, so i experimented with short skirts, very high heels and more sexy outfits, when i actually had breasts that gave me cleavage to show off.

now some 17 years later, my style as evolved more for comfort.. I am now a married women, and a mother to 3 adopted kids

 To work i wear female typical corporate type wear, pencil skirt a nice top with or without a jacket with heels,

home, winter months, leggings, with oversize tops, i love off the shoulder tops.. I love wearing slippers.. Summer months, i love wearing a summer dresses..

I love wearing dresses..

I wear typical mom clothes.

yes, I still love to dress up, when my husband takes me out for date night and then i will wear something sexy, I also love wearing sexy lingerie ... let his mouth water..


but for those starting out, observe what woman around your age wear, and try adjust your style to fit in with women your age..

I remember I was 21 when i started presenting full time as a woman.. and the biggest challenge was dressing every day.. when you cross dress or present part time, you normally dress for a reason or for an event..

but full time you need to dress everyday and you need everyday wear .. woman dont dress up everyday.. i found i needed more everyday.. like leggings, shorts/t-shorts.. shoes that were not heels.. and I needed more underwear.

It's called evolution hun. And what you do for a living, the community you live in and who you associate with are going have a lot to do with your evolution in fashion. I'm a blue jeans and work boots girl so it's pretty easy. I wear ladies wranglers for work and ladies tees or sleeveless tee tops. I have nicer tops jeans for going into town.
Get yourself a nice fitting pair of jeans and a top that's not too standy outy and something like tennies or low heeled boots.

Well let us see.

Some women's jeans have more fancy embroidery than that of males.
They may have darts, typically upwards from the middle of each of the back pockets.

They may be more curvy in their cut.  Some may have big flares on the bottom, bigger than a typical bootcut jean.  They may have a button crotch, probably less common on guy jeans.
Fading may be more common on women's jeans.

Quote from: ChrissyRyan on March 07, 2026, 01:41:57 PMWell let us see.

Some women's jeans have more fancy embroidery than that of males.
They may have darts, typically upwards from the middle of each of the back pockets.

They may be more curvy in their cut.  Some may have big flares on the bottom, bigger than a typical bootcut jean.  They may have a button crotch, probably less common on guy jeans.
Fading may be more common on women's jeans.

They're usually softer too. Embelished jeans seem to have disapeared from the UK high street these days, shame as I really liked the look. I love skinny jeans personally they just look so feminine with a loose top. Faux leather or coated jeans are pretty sexy too.

So, I see that i am also evolving on this femeinine side...good.

Quote from: noleen111 on March 05, 2026, 08:18:25 AMbut full time you need to dress everyday and you need everyday wear .. woman dont dress up everyday.. i found i needed more everyday.. like leggings, shorts/t-shorts.. shoes that were not heels.. and I needed more underwear.

This is soo true. As I started dressing on a day to day basis, I realized that my outfits were for some kind of purpose, but needed every day clothes. Jeans, bootcut with some embroidery and t shirt or bodysuit (I am not sure it is called that way) goes a long way and I feel very comfortable.

I see some outfits on some women and am really tempted to ask them where they have bought them, because, at least for me, purchasing and finding clothes is a bit complicated. I know what I want but I don't get to find it...guess time will help.

Thank you all very much for sharing clothing tips.

Love u all 💜

Our clothing has so much variety.  I really enjoy wearing them.  At the office they certainly rise up the formality scale.  Away from that, there is so much you can wear as a woman.

Enjoy accumulating your wardrobe!


Chrissy

Quote from: Anne_lifetrip on April 21, 2026, 05:26:53 AMSo, I see that i am also evolving on this femeinine side...good.

This is soo true. As I started dressing on a day to day basis, I realized that my outfits were for some kind of purpose, but needed every day clothes. Jeans, bootcut with some embroidery and t shirt or bodysuit (I am not sure it is called that way) goes a long way and I feel very comfortable.

I see some outfits on some women and am really tempted to ask them where they have bought them, because, at least for me, purchasing and finding clothes is a bit complicated. I know what I want but I don't get to find it...guess time will help.

Thank you all very much for sharing clothing tips.

Love u all 💜

I bet if you stopped them and told them you loved their outfit they would be happy to tell you where they got it from Anne. It's very nice to have strangers compliment you as long as it isn't done in a creepy way of course!

I find shopping online is far easier to find what you want rather than in store personally.

You can also use AI image creators to play with different styles and then use those images to help you find clothes that are similar. Works for me.

I love all the variety of clothing I can now access. But need to find a way to control it better as too easy to get soo much stuff and still have gaps. Thinking of just working out a list of styles, occasions and seasons. Then having maximum two outfits for each. Also trying to work out which things I can pair. Its hard as my love of fashion crosses so many genres. On one hand I want really nicely coordinated outfits and dresses for work, good but normal looking outfits for going out and everyday normal outfits. Then more out there Kawaii / bright / cute outfits for both going out and everyday. Then multiply these across 2-3 seasons with layering. So 5 different themes x 3 seasons is 15 outfits! If I have two of each that's 30. This gets tricky!

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 21, 2026, 06:06:31 AMI love all the variety of clothing I can now access. But need to find a way to control it better as too easy to get soo much stuff and still have gaps. Thinking of just working out a list of styles, occasions and seasons. Then having maximum two outfits for each. Also trying to work out which things I can pair. Its hard as my love of fashion crosses so many genres. On one hand I want really nicely coordinated outfits and dresses for work, good but normal looking outfits for going out and everyday normal outfits. Then more out there Kawaii / bright / cute outfits for both going out and everyday. Then multiply these across 2-3 seasons with layering. So 5 different themes x 3 seasons is 15 outfits! If I have two of each that's 30. This gets tricky!

You need a bigger wardrobe Charlotte!

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 21, 2026, 06:20:13 AMYou need a bigger wardrobe Charlotte!

There is a list of things I need including a walk in wardrobe, personal stylist, make up artist and hair dresser. May as well add a chef and housekeeper. Unfortunately I'm not a celebrity!

Charlotte x

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 21, 2026, 07:21:42 AMUnfortunately I'm not a celebrity!

YET!

Give it time.
😁

I've been through this and it made sense for me. I was held back by fear of getting noticed and ignorance of options. I did not want to shop in the women's section.

My first item was a pair of black skinny jeans and they passed as male. But OH they felt different and I knew they were women's! Soon I was replacing my men's clothes with women's that barely pushed into feminine. Slacks, dress shirts (there was something special about buttons on the "wrong" side...like I was retraining myself to be female).

Then I got my ears pierced and things moved faster. It felt so good and right. I marched steadily and gradually forward. Fear faded. Knowledge increased. I'm quite the fashion gal now!

It helped to shop online. More private. It helped to talk to AI about clothes.

Enjoy the journey!

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 21, 2026, 06:06:31 AMI love all the variety of clothing I can now access.

I love that as well, when I was still living as male, i never understood why women always had such huge wardrobes. Now that I am a woman, I understand fully.

Even underwear, all the styles of bra and panties available, it amazing.

Quote from: Charlotte Kitty on April 21, 2026, 07:21:42 AMThere is a list of things I need including a walk in wardrobe, personal stylist, make up artist and hair dresser. May as well add a chef and housekeeper. Unfortunately I'm not a celebrity!

Charlotte x

I am a lucky woman, as when we bought our house, it was a fixer upper.. my husband did all the work himself, so i lived in a disorganized work area for over a year (He is in the building industry). One of the things he built me, was a walk in closet and a stunning dressing table. My fav part of my walk in closet is my shoe rack..My husbands says to me, I own way too many pairs of shoes.

Quote from: KristaFairchild on April 21, 2026, 08:44:43 AMThen I got my ears pierced and things moved faster. It felt so good and right. I marched steadily and gradually forward. Fear faded. Knowledge increased. I'm quite the fashion gal now!

I remember when i got my ears pierced, it was like a break through, almost like a right of passage to womanhood.

I remember when the idea sparked in my head, i was looking at earrings online, with my friend (she was the only person at that stage that knew about Noleen) and then she mentioned.. but hon, you need pierced ears for that pair, since i hated all the clip-ons. It took me a while get the courage to get them actually pierced, since I was presenting as a male still. But then my friend said, its not so uncommon for guys to have both ears pierced. I never got the courage to go, so my friend pierced them with needle at home. My friend gave me an old pair of studs. (I still have them in my jewellery box today) I looked after them and they healed without any issues. Earrings opened up a whole new world for me.. Now.. I have 4 holes in each ear (3 in my lobes and 1 cartridge piercing) , I got a small stud pierced into my nose and my navel is pierced as well. All my piercings were done professionally, besides the first one.

Quote from: noleen111 on April 29, 2026, 07:18:02 AMI remember when i got my ears pierced, it was like a break through, almost like a right of passage to womanhood.

I remember when the idea sparked in my head, i was looking at earrings online, with my friend (she was the only person at that stage that knew about Noleen) and then she mentioned.. but hon, you need pierced ears for that pair, since i hated all the clip-ons. It took me a while get the courage to get them actually pierced, since I was presenting as a male still. But then my friend said, its not so uncommon for guys to have both ears pierced. I never got the courage to go, so my friend pierced them with needle at home. My friend gave me an old pair of studs. (I still have them in my jewellery box today) I looked after them and they healed without any issues. Earrings opened up a whole new world for me.. Now.. I have 4 holes in each ear (3 in my lobes and 1 cartridge piercing) , I got a small stud pierced into my nose and my navel is pierced as well. All my piercings were done professionally, besides the first one.

I'm not in a position to get piercings yet but I love belly piercings so I will definitely get that along with ears. I bought some fake nose rings recently too and I love the look of that. That and studs to be honest. I'm not a fan of septum piercings but in the nostrils yep, sign me up.

Quote from: Stottie Girl on April 29, 2026, 07:48:27 AMI'm not a fan of septum piercings but in the nostrils yep, sign me up.

I agree with you, not a fan of septum piercings. I did buy some clip-on septum jewelry. I found it was irritating and wanted to take if off after a few hours. Plus i don't want to look like a cow.

Funny my husband, thinks i look sexy with it, so i do wear it from time to time for him.

My nostril piercing, i have not taken it out in years. My husband, who I have known for over a decade, has never seen me without my nose stud.

Quote from: noleen111 on April 29, 2026, 08:21:04 AMI agree with you, not a fan of septum piercings. I did buy some clip-on septum jewelry. I found it was irritating and wanted to take if off after a few hours. Plus i don't want to look like a cow.

Funny my husband, thinks i look sexy with it, so i do wear it from time to time for him.

My nostril piercing, i have not taken it out in years. My husband, who I have known for over a decade, has never seen me without my nose stud.

That's exactly what I think when I see the septum ring. Why is she wearing a bull nose ring? Is it meant to be submissive or something?

The clip on's I got are for either the nostril or they also work for the ear cuffs. I just got them to see whether I would suit the look. I think I do.

Quote from: noleen111 on April 29, 2026, 07:18:02 AMI remember when i got my ears pierced, it was like a break through, almost like a right of passage to womanhood.

Earrings opened up a whole new world for me.. 

I feel that with you. I wasn't nervous about getting pierced because of gender (though I was drawn to and terrified of other feminine things). I had talked about it for a few months, whimpering about pain. I'm not if it was clear to my wife that it was about not being cis-male. One day in the mall (where go maybe once a year), she said, "Claire's is right there. Let's do this." I had LOTS of reasons not to do this! Pain! Fear! Permanence! Gender confusion! And PAIN!

So of course I did it. I learned I was committed to not removing the initial studs for SIX WEEKS! Thank you universe. 

I was so trepidatious. Studs for months. 1 mm crystals. TWO mm crystals. Angst. Feeling my ears were ->-bleeped-<-ing EAR BEACONS! But I loved them. Now I wear any earrings I want to with no concerns. I own way too many 😀 They often set the tone for my outfits. 

I hope others who are hesitant but want it just get pierced. It doesn't have to be about gender and where I went it was a flat fee for both ears - no one ear discount. I could shrug my then-make shoulders and say I wanted my money's worth. 

 

Quote from: KristaFairchild on April 29, 2026, 09:57:18 PMI feel that with you. I wasn't nervous about getting pierced because of gender (though I was drawn to and terrified of other feminine things). I had talked about it for a few months, whimpering about pain. I'm not if it was clear to my wife that it was about not being cis-male. One day in the mall (where go maybe once a year), she said, "Claire's is right there. Let's do this." I had LOTS of reasons not to do this! Pain! Fear! Permanence! Gender confusion! And PAIN!

So of course I did it. I learned I was committed to not removing the initial studs for SIX WEEKS! Thank you universe.

I was so trepidatious. Studs for months. 1 mm crystals. TWO mm crystals. Angst. Feeling my ears were ->-bleeped-<-ing EAR BEACONS! But I loved them. Now I wear any earrings I want to with no concerns. I own way too many 😀 They often set the tone for my outfits.

I hope others who are hesitant but want it just get pierced. It doesn't have to be about gender and where I went it was a flat fee for both ears - no one ear discount. I could shrug my then-make shoulders and say I wanted my money's worth.

 

I got mine done at Claire's for my 60th birthday. It had nothing to do (consciously) with gender, as I was still rejecting my therapist's diagnosis. I got the Deluxe Kit with crystal stud starters, cleaning solution, and two or three packs of stud earrings.

They healed up nicely, and I went back and bought another bottle of their cleaning solution. It is great for all kinds of wounds. Peroxide and alcohol dry and irritate skin and kill beneficial bacteria needed for wounds to heal. This stuff is formulated to clean, disinfect, and not dry out the skin.

Quote from: Lori Dee on April 29, 2026, 10:35:54 PMI got mine done at Claire's for my 60th birthday. It had nothing to do (consciously) with gender, as I was still rejecting my therapist's diagnosis. I got the Deluxe Kit with crystal stud starters, cleaning solution, and two or three packs of stud earrings.

They healed up nicely, and I went back and bought another bottle of their cleaning solution. It is great for all kinds of wounds. Peroxide and alcohol dry and irritate skin and kill beneficial bacteria needed for wounds to heal. This stuff is formulated to clean, disinfect, and not dry out the skin.

Mine were pierced on my 60th too.