Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: paulault55 on January 30, 2009, 10:35:30 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Tonight\'s the night i come out to my Stepfather
Post by: paulault55 on January 30, 2009, 10:35:30 AM
Post by: paulault55 on January 30, 2009, 10:35:30 AM
Tonight is the night i have been dreading for months, coming out to my stepfather, he's 89 years old and is accepting of many things, my mom passed a few years ago and he is all the family I'm really close to and we see each other a few times a week for dinner. For years my mom would always ask when i was going to find a girl and get married and have children, but that was never going to happen because in addition to being asexual i also have GID and nobody but me ever knew it, at least i think i was a good actor . I'm sure they and my friends think that i am gay.
Casually over dinner tonight I'm going to bring this up and clear the air that i'm not gay but asexual and explain to him what that is then tell him about my GID, not giving too many details unless he asks. He likes to read and i have the book True Selves that i would like him to read, this book could have been written about me, then when he is finished, however long that takes, we can get together and discuss it. For me to move forward in transition i need to do this and my therapist thinks so too.
Paula.
Post Merge: January 30, 2009, 10:08:02 PM
Thought i would update everyone that has read this post, it went better than i expected, the beginning about being asexual answered allot of questions he had, talking about my Gid issue I'm not sure he really understands fully what i said, but i have his support and the book should help and we will talk Sunday.
Paula.
Casually over dinner tonight I'm going to bring this up and clear the air that i'm not gay but asexual and explain to him what that is then tell him about my GID, not giving too many details unless he asks. He likes to read and i have the book True Selves that i would like him to read, this book could have been written about me, then when he is finished, however long that takes, we can get together and discuss it. For me to move forward in transition i need to do this and my therapist thinks so too.
Paula.
Post Merge: January 30, 2009, 10:08:02 PM
Thought i would update everyone that has read this post, it went better than i expected, the beginning about being asexual answered allot of questions he had, talking about my Gid issue I'm not sure he really understands fully what i said, but i have his support and the book should help and we will talk Sunday.
Paula.
Title: Re: Tonight\'s the night i come out to my Stepfather
Post by: Janet_Girl on January 30, 2009, 11:00:06 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on January 30, 2009, 11:00:06 PM
Good for you Paula. I am sure things will be fine.
Janet
Janet
Title: Re: Tonight\'s the night i come out to my Stepfather
Post by: Cindy on January 31, 2009, 02:07:59 AM
Post by: Cindy on January 31, 2009, 02:07:59 AM
Paula
I think you have done well. A difficult situation but he sounds like a beautiful father who has a very concerned (and beautiful) daughter. As we know these roads are difficult. Did you go in Paula's clothes or in drag? I suppose that's the next step. Maybe it doesn't have to be taken for someone that age. The last thing you need is for him to have a C-stress.
I hope it works out, my Dad died 5 years ago not accepting, my Mum in December hating.
Love and hugs
Cindy James
I think you have done well. A difficult situation but he sounds like a beautiful father who has a very concerned (and beautiful) daughter. As we know these roads are difficult. Did you go in Paula's clothes or in drag? I suppose that's the next step. Maybe it doesn't have to be taken for someone that age. The last thing you need is for him to have a C-stress.
I hope it works out, my Dad died 5 years ago not accepting, my Mum in December hating.
Love and hugs
Cindy James
Title: Re: Tonight\'s the night i come out to my Stepfather
Post by: Gwen on January 31, 2009, 02:42:59 AM
Post by: Gwen on January 31, 2009, 02:42:59 AM
Congratulations Paula, well done on a major milestone! It sounds like you handled it well.
Title: Re: Tonight\'s the night i come out to my Stepfather
Post by: cindybc on January 31, 2009, 02:50:02 AM
Post by: cindybc on January 31, 2009, 02:50:02 AM
It is wonderful to hear good news when it comes to an amicable result with regards to relationship with family, congrats Paula.
Cindy
Cindy