Susan's Place Transgender Resources

No matter how I look at this world I can't seem to find where I belong. I have noticed something about myself and I hate it but I can't seem to change it. For the most part I do NOT like the LGBT community, nor do I care for mainstream society. I hate the very thing I am as well (Gamers). I do not belong with any given group of people nor do I belong with outcasts. I am kind and loving and yet filled with unending rage. It just doesn't make sense to me anymore. I fill as though an inferno is burning deep within me, but at the same time it's being consumed by a pit of everlasting darkness. By my own nature I am separate from what fills like everything, I don't even fit in with my own kind...
great now I'm feeling sad again...

I do not fit in either Carolyn, I find it hard to know where I fit in. I know how awful it feels.

Alice

I know how you feel.  I like gaming but I don't fit in with gamers.  I'm in college but I'm 4-6 years older than everyone so I feel out of place.  I really like being compassionate and caring with people but I'm too isolated to be that involved with people.  And then there's the whole issue of what brings us to forums like these getting in the way.

I don't have any concrete answers for you but hopefully you'll find some help here, or elsewhere.

If I try really hard, I can fit into a kitchen cupboard.


Though anywhere else, involving people, forget it.

My main problem is that I'm a fearless optimist that puts others first in a world of lazy, self-serving, pessimistic cowards that are constantly looking for an excuse not to do something hard.

It's not to say that EVERYONE is like this, but it really does feel that way at times. I'm frankly disgusted and tend to look down my nose on people that don't have enough moral resolve to go after what they want and believe they can get it. Pessimism is, by far, the personality trait I detest the most.

Quote from: Firelight on February 12, 2009, 02:34:52 AM
My main problem is that I'm a fearless optimist that puts others first in a world of lazy, self-serving, pessimistic cowards that are constantly looking for an excuse not to do something hard.

It's not to say that EVERYONE is like this, but it really does feel that way at times. I'm frankly disgusted and tend to look down my nose on people that don't have enough moral resolve to go after what they want and believe they can get it. Pessimism is, by far, the personality trait I detest the most.

You're almost as pessimistic about pessimists as I am about optimists.


:)

Quite a conundrum, isn't it? :laugh:

Depression is treatable and quite easily. You sound depressed. I know the feeling well. Try and sek some help. Tell your Doctor you thoughts and get some help. Life is worth living.

Lots of Hugs, not preaching

Cindy JAmes

I use to worry about "fitting in". Most every body does. But then I finally realized that I am my own person. I am unique and that's OK. I am a kind and loving person. Sure, there might be others like me in some ways, But I am the one and only me that I have. Self acceptance can be the biggest obstacle standing between you and happiness. Many, including myself wrestle with self acceptance all the time. I guess what I'm saying is just be yourself and don't worry so much about it.  :icon_smile:   

I would agree with Cindy James.

One symptom of depression is lack of connection with other people.
Even if you are not depressed it sounds like you have stuff going on that you need to work through, unending rage and hate is not a good look. It is not something you should have to live with.

Some of the best advice I've ever got was 'if you don't fit in anywhere, you're free to go everywhere cause it will all be the same."

sounds like the advice someone should have given me a few years back.  :D

No one "fits" perfectly into any label. Maybe it's best not to be so hung up on finding any one label to identify with but rather just focus on being you. No one is "just" a gamer, just a parent or offspring or man or woman or trans or dancer or anything..
we're all a mass of assorted and sometimes contradicting labels and ideals and archetypes.. every last one of us. As such, you're perfectly normal.

That totally sums up my middle school years. It wasn't until a week ago, literally, that I finally found self-acceptance. And I'm currently a 17-year-old Junior in high school.

To give you the honest truth (from my own point of view), it is going to take awhile to find the place at which you take yourself as you are. I thought I'd achieved it last August, only to have doubt, anger, and raging self-hate come back to kick me back into submission. It's a long, painful, and repetitive process that requires a LOT of work on your part. The thing is though, you don't have to suffer it alone. Maybe if I'd realized that I'd have healed a great deal quicker from my own experiences.

The way I see it is as follows: No one label will ever apply fully as they are all rather arbitrary names our convoluted society dishes out to people who exhibit certain traits; doing away with those is a healthy choice. If, however, you want to be seen from a certain standpoint, put yourself in the category of Yourself. Be who you are, cause no one else is going to be you. Let compliments feed your self-esteem, and don't be afraid to cry or ask someone to help you out.

Also, I've found that journaling helps a great deal with any negative emotions - and it also provides the opportunity to look back on your happy moments too. I've been journaling, every single day, since 30 June of last year, and it has helped me enormously with my many little self-created problems.

Anyways, good luck and all power to ya!

-Shannon

Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on March 19, 2009, 01:05:01 AMIt wasn't until a week ago,  literally, that I finally found self-acceptance. And I'm currently a 17-year-old Junior in high school.

My, my, aren't we precocious! ;) Well, keep being Yourself, Shannon -- it seems like a good Self to be. :)

I think I've found self-acceptance about 1000 times; the problem is that I keep losing it. Maybe it's attached to my keychain or something and that's why. I should find a better place to keep it. Except right now I think it's in the back of my truck, with my ski helmet and avalanche beacon. I should get up to the mountains again so that I can find it again. 8)

I know the feeling, too, Carolyn, like so many people. I'm sorry you're feeling down Just keep doing what you love, that's all I can say. Even if you don't enjoy it, it gives you strength. At least that's how it's been for me. I'm sorry you're feeling down :icon_bunch:

~Alyssa

Quote from: Unconditional Acceptance on March 19, 2009, 01:05:01 AM
No one label will ever apply fully as they are all rather arbitrary names our convoluted society dishes out to people who exhibit certain traits; doing away with those is a healthy choice. If, however, you want to be seen from a certain standpoint, put yourself in the category of Yourself.

Not all labels are just dished out by society. For instance, I've taken some "labels" upon myself simply to have the vocabulary to describe myself. Language is imperfect, and can indeed be used to dominate and/or subjugate. But, it can also be used to educate, both others and oneself.

"Labels" and titles and such can be tricky. I could label myself as Myself, but what is Myself? I don't feel so much as I owe others an explanation, but I do owe myself one.

I don't really fit into any place in the BGLQT community, except on the fringes. I'm Bisexual, but committed. I'm an non-binary gender variant/androgyne, but not truly Transsexual/Transgender. I guess I could say I'm genderQueer. It seems that mainstream BGLQT culture doesn't really have a place for me, though I feel more drawn to that than mainstream married/heterosexual culture.