Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Jay on February 09, 2009, 11:12:14 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Came out at work!
Post by: Jay on February 09, 2009, 11:12:14 AM
Post by: Jay on February 09, 2009, 11:12:14 AM
Hello Guys & Gals,
Last Wednesday I planned to come out at work, as due to my chest op next month, I wanted to start full time at work also. My manager has known about me for about a year now, and last Wednesday I wrote a letter for her to read to my colleagues at work about how I feel, what the process is and so on. I left work at quarter to 4. And my boss took on of the team down to a meeting room and they where told the strict confidentially of the matter and the legal obligations and then read my email, my colleague who was in that team previous knew and is a close friend so she reported back to me what people said and there reactions and everything. A few asked questions "Do they need to call me "he" now?", "Will there be any further surgery's?" The lady who asked about the further surgerys said about the pain of the surgery and one of my female colleagues who I don't get on in the slightest with and have never done said to that, "Lee has lived in pain and mental depression because of his body I don't think a couple of weeks of pain is going to matter". When my friend told me this I was extremely shocked! ;D
The same woman asked why have I got Annual leave booked for two weeks when I have my surgery? And it should be taken as sick as I shouldn't have to take my annual leave. That was really good. My friend said that everyone in my team was okay with it and so fourth and no one really looked shocked and my manager started crying reading out my letter that I wrote. Then there was time for the other team to be told, however I am not sure what was said in that team. My manager called me at about quarter to 5 to tell me how it all went. The teams where made to sign a document to say that they had been told and how confidential the matter is. When the second team got back my friend Claire walked over and one of the women who work in the second team said to Claire "where's Lee?" and Claire said "he has gone home". The woman then said "Oh I will send him an email then, I just wanted Lee to know I support her/him (not sure what they used) 100%. Claire said oh that will make his day that will! Which it damn well did! ;D
I am happy with how it all went, I haven't got back to work as of yet. However I will be starting back tomorrow, hopefully some people will have picked up the pronouns and there aren't going to be many questions! I shall let you know how it all goes tomorrow!
Jay ;)
Last Wednesday I planned to come out at work, as due to my chest op next month, I wanted to start full time at work also. My manager has known about me for about a year now, and last Wednesday I wrote a letter for her to read to my colleagues at work about how I feel, what the process is and so on. I left work at quarter to 4. And my boss took on of the team down to a meeting room and they where told the strict confidentially of the matter and the legal obligations and then read my email, my colleague who was in that team previous knew and is a close friend so she reported back to me what people said and there reactions and everything. A few asked questions "Do they need to call me "he" now?", "Will there be any further surgery's?" The lady who asked about the further surgerys said about the pain of the surgery and one of my female colleagues who I don't get on in the slightest with and have never done said to that, "Lee has lived in pain and mental depression because of his body I don't think a couple of weeks of pain is going to matter". When my friend told me this I was extremely shocked! ;D
The same woman asked why have I got Annual leave booked for two weeks when I have my surgery? And it should be taken as sick as I shouldn't have to take my annual leave. That was really good. My friend said that everyone in my team was okay with it and so fourth and no one really looked shocked and my manager started crying reading out my letter that I wrote. Then there was time for the other team to be told, however I am not sure what was said in that team. My manager called me at about quarter to 5 to tell me how it all went. The teams where made to sign a document to say that they had been told and how confidential the matter is. When the second team got back my friend Claire walked over and one of the women who work in the second team said to Claire "where's Lee?" and Claire said "he has gone home". The woman then said "Oh I will send him an email then, I just wanted Lee to know I support her/him (not sure what they used) 100%. Claire said oh that will make his day that will! Which it damn well did! ;D
I am happy with how it all went, I haven't got back to work as of yet. However I will be starting back tomorrow, hopefully some people will have picked up the pronouns and there aren't going to be many questions! I shall let you know how it all goes tomorrow!
Jay ;)
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: vanna on February 09, 2009, 11:40:50 AM
Post by: vanna on February 09, 2009, 11:40:50 AM
Just amazing
you sound like you work with a really good group of people Jay
im very glad it went so well.
"hug"
you sound like you work with a really good group of people Jay
im very glad it went so well.
"hug"
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: katherine on February 09, 2009, 12:00:02 PM
Post by: katherine on February 09, 2009, 12:00:02 PM
Congratulations Jay! I am very happy for you! It sounds like you have many supporters there, and that is so very important. Looking forward to seeing how it went. Take care.
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Janet_Girl on February 10, 2009, 12:37:11 AM
Post by: Janet_Girl on February 10, 2009, 12:37:11 AM
Good for you, Jay. I hope the surgery goes well.
Bunches of hugs.
Janet
Bunches of hugs.
Janet
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Christo on February 10, 2009, 01:53:00 AM
Post by: Christo on February 10, 2009, 01:53:00 AM
Way 2 go bro. congrats :laugh: :icon_drunk: :icon_dance: :icon_joy:
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Cindy on February 10, 2009, 03:25:23 AM
Post by: Cindy on February 10, 2009, 03:25:23 AM
Hi Jay
Fantastic, I hope it goes well, and you have a great work group. Do something for them, a card thanking them for understanding? Even if it isn't needed.
When it's over I'll send my address, I could use a hot bod to pamper me ;)
All my Love. I hope everything goes well, wiping a tear from my eye. I've only known you for a few months but I feel a strong friendship - brother.
Your sister
Cindy James
ps if you need really crap jokes to make the stiches pull, let me know!
Fantastic, I hope it goes well, and you have a great work group. Do something for them, a card thanking them for understanding? Even if it isn't needed.
When it's over I'll send my address, I could use a hot bod to pamper me ;)
All my Love. I hope everything goes well, wiping a tear from my eye. I've only known you for a few months but I feel a strong friendship - brother.
Your sister
Cindy James
ps if you need really crap jokes to make the stiches pull, let me know!
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: PolarBear on February 10, 2009, 05:32:48 AM
Post by: PolarBear on February 10, 2009, 05:32:48 AM
Wow, congrats with the coming out, and with having such great workmates!
Good luck when you're going back to work, though from the sound of it you won't need it.
Vincent
Good luck when you're going back to work, though from the sound of it you won't need it.
Vincent
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Jay on February 10, 2009, 09:33:26 AM
Post by: Jay on February 10, 2009, 09:33:26 AM
They are all great work mates seriously. I work with about 25 people. I came into day nervous and no one has said anything bad or good.. It hasn't even been brought up.
I think because my manager stressed how strightly confidental it is and how they could lose their jobs if they spoke out of turn.
I did recieve some feedback from two colleagues one saying -
and another one
Its so good! yay! ;D
I think because my manager stressed how strightly confidental it is and how they could lose their jobs if they spoke out of turn.
I did recieve some feedback from two colleagues one saying -
QuoteI think your so brave for doing this. It's very admirable :)
and another one
QuoteHello Lee - what a lovely word "transition" it sounds a bit like Harry Potter - I wish it were as simple as magic for you - no I didn't have any questions - I did however mention to *** privately that my first memory of you is when you first came to the Department and how haunted and unhappy you looked, and how happy you have seemed in the last few months, thats got to be good isn't it. Take care of yourself - we only have one life after all and we have to be true to ourselves.
Its so good! yay! ;D
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: katherine on February 10, 2009, 11:32:56 AM
Post by: katherine on February 10, 2009, 11:32:56 AM
Hi Jay! Sounds like your day went wonderfully! You are very fortunate to work with such a nice understanding group. Wish you the best sweetheart!
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Chrissty on February 10, 2009, 11:53:26 AM
Post by: Chrissty on February 10, 2009, 11:53:26 AM
Great News Jay! :icon_biggrin:
I'm really happy for you. ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
I'm really happy for you. ;)
:icon_hug:
Chrissty
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: myles on February 10, 2009, 02:33:08 PM
Post by: myles on February 10, 2009, 02:33:08 PM
I am so glad things are working out well for you!
Thats Great
Myles
Thats Great
Myles
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: tekla on February 10, 2009, 02:52:57 PM
Post by: tekla on February 10, 2009, 02:52:57 PM
You are a very lucky young man. So go with it. Confidentiality is a double edged sword. So if they are to say nothing about it, neither should you. Keep it out of the workplace.
Look, work gave me my life and has saved it on more than one occasion. And in part its because I (and most of the people around me) feel very strongly in the American sense, that "Nothing personal, its just business." I've had to fire people, or let them go. Nothing personal, it's just business. I've had the same happen to me, and again, nothing personal, it was just business.
It's a real big deal with me that I really don't want to know that much about you other than what affects the work. (Lucky for us, we're union brothers and sisters and union stuff can easily fill 8 hours a day of conversation) but I don't want to know if you have a BF, GF or wife. Or if they are sick or not. Or your troubles with your kids. Really, the best part of work is leaving all that behind for a few hours.
I've had girl scome up to me and say things like "Oh that Tom guy you work with is a hunk, does he have a GF?" And I say "I have no idea, we never talk about that kind of stuff." And we don't. There are people I've worked with for over two decades and I don't know if they have a GF, or are married or any of that. Nor do they know that about me. I like it that way.
So, like the day I was late for something my dad wanted me to do and he told me that 90% of any job was showing up. Like a little smart ass I said "So, what the other 10%?" And he said "Shut up and do the work." I thought he was kidding, but he was spot on. Show up, shut up, and do the work. It's the guy way.
Look, work gave me my life and has saved it on more than one occasion. And in part its because I (and most of the people around me) feel very strongly in the American sense, that "Nothing personal, its just business." I've had to fire people, or let them go. Nothing personal, it's just business. I've had the same happen to me, and again, nothing personal, it was just business.
It's a real big deal with me that I really don't want to know that much about you other than what affects the work. (Lucky for us, we're union brothers and sisters and union stuff can easily fill 8 hours a day of conversation) but I don't want to know if you have a BF, GF or wife. Or if they are sick or not. Or your troubles with your kids. Really, the best part of work is leaving all that behind for a few hours.
I've had girl scome up to me and say things like "Oh that Tom guy you work with is a hunk, does he have a GF?" And I say "I have no idea, we never talk about that kind of stuff." And we don't. There are people I've worked with for over two decades and I don't know if they have a GF, or are married or any of that. Nor do they know that about me. I like it that way.
So, like the day I was late for something my dad wanted me to do and he told me that 90% of any job was showing up. Like a little smart ass I said "So, what the other 10%?" And he said "Shut up and do the work." I thought he was kidding, but he was spot on. Show up, shut up, and do the work. It's the guy way.
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Ms.Behavin on February 12, 2009, 10:17:32 PM
Post by: Ms.Behavin on February 12, 2009, 10:17:32 PM
YES!!!!!. Gee most of the days from now on will be great days or even better. Congrats dear sir
Beni
Beni
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: alexkidd on February 13, 2009, 02:29:11 PM
Post by: alexkidd on February 13, 2009, 02:29:11 PM
thats awesome dude ;D
your luckly to be working with such good people, good luck!
your luckly to be working with such good people, good luck!
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Ellieka on February 13, 2009, 03:23:20 PM
Post by: Ellieka on February 13, 2009, 03:23:20 PM
Gotta offer my congratulations as well, Jay. I have a great respect for any one that comes out at all. Coming out at work is a huge challenge.
Title: Re: Came out at work!
Post by: Jay on February 16, 2009, 11:34:53 AM
Post by: Jay on February 16, 2009, 11:34:53 AM
Thanks for your support everyone! :)