Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: klodefm42 on February 10, 2009, 12:20:20 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: klodefm42 on February 10, 2009, 12:20:20 PM
Has anyone here had a tough time getting people to believe you when you came out to them? Like in terms of getting people to believe your tg/ts cause you dont act enough like the gender you were cheated out of being at birth?   Ive been having a hard time to get fellow tg/ts people to believe me and it so blows.  :icon_help:
Plus my condolences goes out to all those people who have lost some one in that horrible Australian brush fire. 
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Sephirah on February 10, 2009, 12:37:01 PM
But... do you have to get people to believe you? If you tell them, and they listen, then that's where your responsibilty should end, surely. Once they have the information then it's up to them what they do with it. Whether they believe you or not doesn't change who you are. The only people it seems you have to prove yourself to are those in a position to give you the means to progress in your transition. Everyone else... *shrugs* GID isn't like Fantasia in The Neverending Story, it doesn't suddenly disappear if people don't believe in it.

The overriding concern, in my view, is: do you believe you? If so, let other people think what they like. :)
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: klodefm42 on February 10, 2009, 12:56:08 PM
Your right. I dont expect anyone out side of having gid or whatever to believe cause it's sort of a given that they never will. Why should they anyways. It does bum me out that fellow tg/ts people dont.
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Sephirah on February 10, 2009, 12:59:29 PM
Why do you think they don't? Have they said so specifically?
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: vanna on February 10, 2009, 01:03:52 PM
Each situation is different for peoples but i can safely say once you let your inner gender out no-one will not believe you.
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: klodefm42 on February 10, 2009, 01:11:46 PM
Yes Leiandra they have told me so.
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Sephirah on February 10, 2009, 01:16:57 PM
Quote from: klodefm42 on February 10, 2009, 01:11:46 PM
Yes Leiandra they have told me so.

I find that rather puzzling, since it assumes they know you better than you know yourself. Which is hardly the case.

What did they say? I mean, how was it phrased?
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Hannah on February 10, 2009, 04:04:32 PM
Well, it is pretty far fetched if you really think about it. I mean, a girl born into a boys body, to those not living the experience it probably sounds almost like science fiction. So we're special  8)

I wouldn't blame them too much if I were you, and I wouldn't blame yourself. Something I've noticed as I have started associating with other Transexuals is in their effort to "act" feminine they overdo it and look absurd. If you start behaving that way in an effort to convince your people, I would imagine that will just increase their resistance. For me spending time with other women my age has really helped. Just be yourself and let it come. Nobody ever taught us how to be girls, we were taught that boys dont cry and boys are tough blah blah blah. The power and depth of socialisation is incredibly strong, and we have been socialised as boys, and they're used to you as such...give yourself, and them, time.
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Randy on February 11, 2009, 10:59:30 AM
I don't have trouble convincing people I'm trans, but I do have trouble sometimes getting them to believe I'm gay. I guess I'm just more internally fabulous.  ;D
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: Nicky on February 12, 2009, 06:17:22 PM
That sounds really odd. Unless it is from those ->-bleeped-<-r than thou type folks on the internet.

My advise is to just make it not a topic for discussion i.e. "I'm telling you this, it is not a discussion"

I think a lot of people get hung up on how you act. I think it must be tough trying to adjust their image of you with your self image, must be full o 'does not compute' errors. There are lots of reasons why people act the way they do. One is we are not born equal. You can ask back "How do all women act?". Another reason is you had to for survival, or it was expected.
Title: Re: Getting others to believe you!
Post by: chrysalis on February 17, 2009, 03:19:42 AM
I've had it happen twice. Once with someone who would not listen and jumped to conclusions and another time with someone who knows people VERY well and whose opinion I hold in very high regard.

The latter made me reconsider things because there was still a level of respect between us. The former only strengthened my resolve. I think ultimately the friend who approached it with respect helped me to get a better view on my situation and understand myself at a fundamentally deeper level. Before I thought of myself as pure TS but really that isn't entirely me.