Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Where I live people are not very accepting. Ive been called Poof many times and other names. It's where I grew up and considering Ive always come back to this area you'd think people would be used to me by now.. I mean Im only getting hair removal and im on H.R.T. Is it that hard to accept. I will leave to get more oppurtunities. But most girls do.
I heard a statistic that 1 in 3 boys hits girls where I live. So I guess a lot of us girls are getting hurt here.
I have done Martial Arts. So I dont get hit because I can block.
There are really nice people here as well but they dont seem to like Trans people even when we have nothing to do with them. It's like they are the ones that are paranoid not me! It's beautiful here and that helps but some people here really need to be informed. Emeyle said it sounds like they are un-informed here and we live in the Dark Ages.

Where I live it is a non issue.  There are some that have nothing to do with me.  And then there is the rest of the world, they just accept me as a woman.  Oregon is pretty progressive when it comes to trans issues.

Janet

Nice new pic. Janet....Lookin' good  :laugh:

The area I live in is very religious. So although they are generally nice, I can still sense the non-acceptance.
In there eyes I'm a sinner and pervert.
But at least most are nice about it. Some seem genuinely accepting at times, even glad because they don't feel threatened. Some see me as a woman. I notice guys will open doors for me. Some guys even chat me up. I've been growing my boobs the last six months and they recently went into a major growth spurt. I wonder if this has something to do with the recent degree of tolerance and/or acceptance  :laugh:

HOSTILE. I will qualify that by saying that my town is quite wide spread in area and not as densely populated as other small towns so by simply going to another district, I am unknown by sight and have no trouble at all. 

In the crowded town centre, dominated by the shopping mall, I become anonymous, get treated like a lady, doors held open etc., but it is once back within my own neighbourhood, it is the usual suspects that create the heartache and misery. It is only a small number but they tend to be the gossips, the yobs and the uneducated. 

I live in conservative Republican territory but it's just on the outskirts of Chicago where you will find places like Boystown.  We go out to dinner a lot locally and have probably caused more than a few neck snaps when we kiss in public but they will just have to get used to the fact there are lesbians amongst them.

Julie

i live in the State of Transphobia, better known as Ohio, even though it voted Democrat in the last election the whole side of the state i'm on is MAINLY Republican, better known as The Bible Belt, and they ABHOR ANYTHING that is outside the biblical norm. my service manager told me that the city sued a family video store because they wanted it to not be able to have its customers rent porn, thats how accepting they are of anything not "Biblically normal". i seriously wonder how they would act if they found out the Bible was really fiction or never existed to begin with??/ ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? ???

Ive been researching the Bible and it's opinion on trans. Its not so bad it says it one part-"Those who seek Transgression, seeketh love."
I looked up Transgression and it's meaning:-
'The action of going beyond or stepping over some boundary or limit.'
I see this as similiar to transition.

Quote from: Julie Marie on February 21, 2009, 10:16:33 AM
I live in conservative Republican territory but it's just on the outskirts of Chicago where you will find places like Boystown.  We go out to dinner a lot locally and have probably caused more than a few neck snaps when we kiss in public but they will just have to get used to the fact there are lesbians amongst them.

Julie

Going to school in Chicago allowed me to come to terms with my transition. I'd say this is two-sided because people are more "->-bleeped-<--aware" so its very hard to just blend in as one of the girls.

I live in Oregon too. There are places, in Oregon, that are not so welcoming, so I've heard. I have not found any, yet. I have been to a few places outside of Oregon and none have been un welcoming, even in some remote places in Northern California.

My area of South London is rough and pretty homophobic but it has it's share of Gay and Fetish clubs so can't be too bad.

Only real danger is teenage gangs but they mainly have it out between each other. We get a few shootings, one guy was shot dead on the ice at the local ice rink so as I said it's a bit rough...

Have faith and you will be safe.

I live in Virginia and for the most part it isn't very accepting where I live.  There are 4 naval bases, 2 army bases, and one air force base all within a half hour drive.  On top of that I live 5 minutes away from Regent University, the home of the family channel, and the reverend Pat Robertson.   Amazingly enough however, I am finding out that there is a large TG community here.  Granted I work with a bunch of ex military gung ho manly men types so I hear a lot of bashing.

I live in south Texas. Just between Houston and Galveston. Its more tolerant than I figured it might be. But in turn, the grand hooha of the kkk lives across the street from me!

I imagine the area I live in is very transphobic, but the only ones who know me as trans are members of my old church, and some of the people I work with.  If they represent the general population here, then def transphobic.  It's been long enough now, the church folk can't recognize me. I even have ocassional conversations with women who used to know me as Mike, and have no clue.....just another pleasant conversation.  The people I work with , I've outlasted, and now their memory is blurred, and who they knew, just doesn't exist.
Otherwise, yeah, I'm taken for female everywhere else, always.


Bev

Ky. is very transphobic I get along ok becose no one know I trans or not willing to say enything about it

I guess passing is one of the reasons I get hassled. If I pass with most people it's ok. But sometimes I dont pass amongst people I meet. They figure it out and then ask me questions. Other than that it's ok here I think. But up on the Gold Caost in Queensland the environment is warmer and I can show my curves more. In Tasmania I rely on my breasts and female face to pass. It has a lot to do with looking at my body I suppose as to whether or not I pass amongst strangers or not. Teenages seem to hassle me down here when they are Yobbbo's.Other than that when it's rough in an area it isnt fun being there regardless of whether I'm trans or not.

I live in Oklahoma. A.K.A. the center of the Bible Belt. I hate this state with a passion and would give anything to move to somewhere like Maine.

As for how people are accepting... I believe I've just luckily made the best choices in friends to have. I would be scared to go out in public presenting, though. I do not trust this place at all.

People that I haven't told consistently make trans jokes, but the weird thing is you can't tell whether they'd be accepting or not from that. =/

I may not have seen a lot of homophobia or transphobia, but it is a guarantee that it's out there. I'm not even out to a lot of people, so it's obvious that I haven't really seen nothing. However as I said earlier, I would be scared to present around here.

Ashland Oregon is O.K. as far as I've heard. I know of at least one trans woman who does fine, and I've heard of other transpeople in the region who get along quite well. Ashland is known as the gay town because it has a lot of hippies and lesbians (the gay population is pretty small), but really that's a small sample of the population.

I live in Marion, Indiana, a city of 33,000 located between Fort Wayne and Indianapolis, and is not among the Indiana municipalities that don't discriminate as far as gender identity.

When I first transitioned, I did not think there would be anyone who accepts me as a woman. Five years later, a majority (89 percent) of Marion, or almost 28,500 residents see me as a woman.

The other 4,500 do not.

There are four other M2F's (besides yours truly) in Marion.

Usually those people don't understand or are trans-phobic. Usually, I let those individuals confront their transphobia by watching "Dirty Sexy Money", "Queen of the Willis," or the movie "Transamerica."

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Since I occasionally go out to nearby Van Buren and Gas City (mostly on gift runs,) usually I run into someone (who has either lived in my Van Buren neighborhood, went to Eastbrook High School with my late brother, or a fellow Mississinewa alumnus who have not seen me since high school graduation) and most of the time they are surprised that the person didn't really see me as a guy, but more feminine (ala Peggy Hill of "King of the Hill," unattractive and less shapely)

In fact only 32 of the 132 Mississinewa Class of 2001 have already recognized me as a woman. The 100 others will probably have no idea come 2011 in my high school reunion.

Ogden, Utah. Cindi Jones is a better judge of the area than I. I moved here form the Rep. of Panama. It's not too bad in Utah. An occasional insult. The weather is horrible. But I dislike anywhere more than 1500 miles from the equator. Utah has changed some in the last few years. The federal government does not allow some of the previous activities of the predominant religion. Some may not like the way I am but they'll get over it. I did.

I'm sure they are not very accepting in Jackson, Mississippi either.  I've never had a problem here, but I know of several gay and lesbian people who have. 

I read these replies with great interest and I am struck by the diversity of the United States of America and thus the prejudices within each of them as if 50 independant nations had a unique view of transsexualism.  Clearrly some states retain a historical link to the pilgrims that initially travelled from Europe and the resultant links to traditional teachings of Rome or wherever, some states are heavily linked to the Spanish/Mexican influences whilst other may just be a melting pot of the planet in miniature as is New York City.

I live within the United Kingdom of Great Britain, this is a group of 4 'nations' i.e England, Scotland, Wales and with the addition of Northern Ireland.  Britain is the first three nations alone but with Northern Irelend we form the UK.  Forget the history lesson, my point is that this small union also has views unique to their own regards to our little community.  Without doubt, I find extreme hostility when in the company of Irish folk. Sad really because I myself am half Irish.  The Welsh generally cannot be bothered. The Scots can be difficult but often, in my experience, only if they have demolished a bottle of whisky.  The English are generally an uptight race, unable to comprehend diffferences in their fellow man or woman and in many cases, remain in the world of Queen Victoria.

OKAY, I am generalising with perhaps a dash of humour thrown into the mixture but this is my experience.  It is not much easier here than it is in the USA.  I have not yet given much thought to how other regions think, Asia, Africa, Australasia, South America...even Los Angeles!!

I am not sure if I care about acceptance anymore. They do or they don't.  Live and let live is a commonly quoted sayinng here, and in most instances, this is how it is here in UK.  It is those isolated cases that hit us hard and then everything I have just written becomes toilet paper.......

as a foriegner in the united kindom i have not really ever seen this uptightness and unable to comprehend differences. everyone who knew me as i began transition was more than undertstanding and accepting with many kind comments.

maybe is where you live again i guess

Quote from: Ms Delgado on March 15, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
as a foriegner in the united kindom i have not really ever seen this uptightness and unable to comprehend differences. everyone who knew me as i began transition was more than undertstanding and accepting with many kind comments.

maybe is where you live again i guess

Yes, in my locale this is the way of life for me. Many old people that retain the values of the pre-war era of the Monarchy, standards, dressing for dinner, servants down stairs and out of sight, the empire etc......these are the souls that give me hell.

I am a resident citizen and can only relate to how life is in my locale, it would be nice if you could enlighten us  further your views as a 'foriegner'....it may just give me an edge against the enemy !!

Quote from: Genevieve Swann on March 15, 2009, 02:54:41 PM
Ogden, Utah. Cindi Jones is a better judge of the area than I. I moved here form the Rep. of Panama. It's not too bad in Utah. An occasional insult. The weather is horrible. But I dislike anywhere more than 1500 miles from the equator. Utah has changed some in the last few years. The federal government does not allow some of the previous activities of the predominant religion. Some may not like the way I am but they'll get over it. I did.

Oh my GOD. I grew up in Evanston, Wyoming... just a stone's throw away from Ogden. I can remember being horrified at the prospect of having to live there one day.

But then I moved to South Carolina, quite possibly the worst state in the US to live in for anybody in the GLBT crowd.

Quote from: luna on March 15, 2009, 07:11:42 PM
Oh my GOD. I grew up in Evanston, Wyoming... just a stone's throw away from Ogden. I can remember being horrified at the prospect of having to live there one day.

But then I moved to South Carolina, quite possibly the worst state in the US to live in for anybody in the GLBT crowd.

Might be beat by certain areas of upstate NY. NY is really two states in one, the City and all points surrounding it, and upstate, which is more conservative than liberal. Needless to say, that's where I live.

Quote from: naomijester on March 15, 2009, 07:59:10 PM
Might be beat by certain areas of upstate NY. NY is really two states in one, the City and all points surrounding it, and upstate, which is more conservative than liberal. Needless to say, that's where I live.

I've heard that, but I don't believe it's worse than here by any means... and SC is the state that tried to legalize GLBT discrimination.

 :-\ ow... not cool.

I don't think it matters much, hate is hate, intolerance is intolerance, and bigotry is bigotry. If I were still in Wyoming, I doubt I'd live through transition.

I feel like SC is terrible and the worst place ever, but then I remember how scary people in Wyoming can be about people who are different.

Vancouver, BC in Canada is one of the most accepting places in the world. In our country to the north this province also happened to be the first in the country for medial to cover SRS. My legal name change took a month. A simple note from my Psychologist resulted in my Driver's License reading Female. People are really friendly here. For those unlike me who are straight, you will have no problem finding a date. So, you can pretty much live a completely normal life.

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Post Merge: March 15, 2009, 09:48:49 PM

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Quote from: Ms Delgado on March 15, 2009, 04:57:35 PM
as a foriegner in the united kindom i have not really ever seen this uptightness and unable to comprehend differences. everyone who knew me as i began transition was more than undertstanding and accepting with many kind comments.

maybe is where you live again i guess

I had the same kind of experience. I also think there is a generational difference. The younger the Transgendered that I encounter the easier it is for them to come and have normal lives. All my friends were completely accepting when I came out last year.

I live in a "purple" state in the West. Many religious conservatives; many tree-hugging hippies. I've had virtually no problems.

I think that has to do partly with the Western attitude that you should mind your own business, and partly because of my confident yet non-confrontational attitude. It's hardly a paradise for trans people (nowhere is) but I have virtually always been treated with a perfectly normal level of respect and dignity.

I think Utah and other Mormon areas are something of an exception due to the close-knit nature of Mormon culture where personal business is much more public; it's more like the Southeast.

I live in Iowa, but in a college town... it is surprising the level of support in Iowa for as conservative as most in the state tend to be...

Not sure I fully agree with England being uptight... :) I live in London and would certainly say that London in general is fairly tolerant. Wales which I know fairly well is certainly less tolerant although being English is probably a greater sin than being transexual in their eyes!

As for Northern Ireland and Scotland - God Forbid I shall ever have to go there!

I've lived in UK, Italy, West Africa and Indonesia and would say the UK is the most tolerant. Indonesia is pretty homophobic but as a generally very polite people (I'm talking Java here) they tend not to express it blatantly like the Italians do. West Africa, what can I say? Some places are safe, others not.

diversity of the United States of America and thus the prejudices within each of them as if 50 independant nations had a unique view of transsexualism.

Very true, and within that there are still differences, like Austin Texas, very liberal, but surrounded by Texas nonetheless.  And no matter how darn tootin liberal Austin gets, it continues to have no effect on the surrounding areas.

And the size is a big deal too.  California is a lot larger than England and Wales (93K sq. mi. vs. 164K sq. mi) but with only half the population of England and Wales (about 30 million, vs, 60 million) so you have some pretty liberal areas like the Bay Area, but the big valley is farmland, and pretty midwestern in outlook. 

I am also in Portland OR, N.E. up by Alberta st. (if you are familiar with the area) an "Alternative Art District" aka the hood. It is a very understanding accepting area, I am not the only FTM in my neighborhood.
Myles

My one kid and ex live in Portland, and my other kid goes to Eugene and graduaded from Cleaveland High, I like Portland myself.  But while Portland and Eugene are pretty liberal, other areas of Oregon, not so much.

Where I live it depends on what it is you're expecting them to accept.

TG/TS doesn't seem to be a huge problem. Far as I know no one's been lynched or beat up yet. -- Well, not in the burbs, in Philly some have been murdered.

If you're talking about child molesters or people that sneak in purple loosestrife then they don't look kindly very often to those things. And we seemed to all vote pretty forcefully against Republicans and John McCain back in November. Yep, even here in the former north-eastern-part-of-the-wall-around-Philly 'pub-burb. So it goes, minds change. I suppose about whether what we thought we wanted 8 years ago we still want today.

And, of course, no one wants prices or rents or unemployment or mortgages to go up.

Nichole

I've gone out numerous times, Once dressed en femme sans hairpiece and makeup, but with a purse. The only derogatory comment was by a couple of old ladies: "I can't believe they'd let a guy wearing women's clothes in here". Everyone else treated me like a lady. Including a gas station attendant who called me "miss" and helped me pump gas....Central Ma. is VERY trans-friendly.

I'm also in counsiling at the local rape crisis center. Their first transgender client. They are also very supportive :)

Though I'm no big fan of universal sweeping declarations I do think that the places that are more trans-friendly, or open, or don't care have some common characteristics they share.

They tend to urban, not rural.
They tend to coastal places, and port cities in particular (there is a reason for this, but it's way too involved to get into here).

They tend to have major liberal arts colleges.  Places with Ag/Tech, or Bible Colleges, not so much.

They tend to have both a thriving arts deal, and a more new line economy.  Their economies tend above the average.

And, be that as it may, a lot of this has to do with the individuals involved.  Nothing is written in stone.

Must agree with Tekla, the individuals have a bearing on it.

But I think where I live is very accepting of the LGB society (Trans doesn't come into it coz there arent enough of us to be spotted by the general public). People will talk bout you behind your back but are never incredibly rude to your face, unless they're brainless skangers, but they would probably have a go at me for having long(ish) hair and not drinking dutch gold on the bus at 12 in the afternoon :P

I've also lived in Warrington in Northern England and even though i was much younger at the time I felt it was rougher than Dublin in general.

Claire xoxo

Warrington is rough!

Not at all  :-\

I'm out everywhere except my hometown, I wouldn't dare present female here. Looking for a house closer to the city rather than try to make a stand against the rednecks  :P

I've been back to Warrington once since I left and it was so rough. It kind of changes my perception of my time there as a child, especially when i learned that my neighbour (local bully) who was my friends brother got done for class A and violent assault.
Makes Finglas seem fun and carefree :P

Claire xoxo

How accepting is my area? Let's just say McCain won the vote here.

Edit: This is what happens when you click the link to the thread off the front page and don't realize what section it's in..


Never mind me ladies. :D

I have noticed references to Warrington, England and although initially I had no comment to make, perhaps I might offer one observation.

Is it the smell of the soap factory near the Warrington Bank rail station or the town's proximity to Liverpool that gives the feeling of walking into the camp of the enemy?  I had thought the fact that the town lying south of the M62 motorway helped it but now I have my doubts.  I have been to both places many times with my work in the past, Warrington at the time of the IRA attack and Liverpool at the time of the football holiganism and the death of a child by other children.

I am not going to make a judgment of the people involved nor the people that live there today or of those with a connection to those places but I do recall a very oppressive atmosphere towards outsiders and to any one that was different in any way or form.  Oh, I was living and working as a male when I last lent my prescence to those domains.........just to make things clear etc., personally, I have no plans to go back to those places until well after SRS if at all and as for Ireland?     

Quote from: Osiris on March 19, 2009, 02:04:30 PM
Never mind me ladies. :D

I didn't even notice until you mentioned it! ;)

I live in Western Canada and I think that my city (Edmonton) is quite laid-back but I don't think I would go flaunting the fact that I'm trans around. Most of my friends and their families have been ok with me, but I also think I'm luckier than most.

However, Canada does own the USA when it comes to GLBT rights.

Chrissi

and as for Ireland?

And as for ireland what exactly? don't know what your experiance of it was or what part but Dulin is by and large very accepting.

If you meant the north it has more issues than i can mention here

Claire xoxo

Quote from: Claire on March 20, 2009, 09:36:50 AM
and as for Ireland?

And as for ireland what exactly? don't know what your experiance of it was or what part but Dulin is by and large very accepting.

If you meant the north it has more issues than i can mention here

Claire xoxo

I refer mainly to the North, that part within the UK.  I have not been to the Republic but know of a few that have and they say that they disliked the place.  I am half Irish myself, been to Belfast many times since leaving when a youngster during the bad days and just don't feel comfortable there.  A gay friend ( former, now no longer a friend, hostile to transfolk ) went to both parts of the island and had an aweful time there. Obviously this is heresay but it seems to ring bells that sadly alarm me.

I'm sorry your friend (former) had a bad time but that is one case and seems unfair to me to judge a place or it's people entirely on the experiance of one person, especially if that person is very judgemental themselves. Personally i only mentioned Warrington because I lived there for some time and experianced different sides of the place and Ireland because I live there now and have a good knowledge of what it's like.
Sorry if my last post seemed reactionary and angry but i do't like it when people make broad sweeping judgement with seemingly no reason for or explanation of them.

Claire xoxo

I too am sorry Claire but my thoughts were based on opinions of others and my own history of living in the north, my part Irish bloodline and a 'feeling' of not feeling comfortable about the place.  That said, I still have to visit the Republic before I can offer my own views.

Maybe I wasn't clear in my earlier remarks for which I apologise.

Why would you care about acceptance?

If you pass as a women, than stay stealth.

And avoiding company with negative people.

Personally, I could give two living ->-bleeped-<-s if family or friends object.

Big deal, they sucked anyway if they are that narrow minded.

I live in Oregon during the summer and Massachusetts when I'm in college. Wow, there sure are a lot of Oregonians here! Portland is possibly the most trans-friendly city ever, at least in the States. Though I don't live there, I go there as often as I can. Totally amazing place. I think it might be the new San Francisco...!

Quote from: Tanya1 on March 20, 2009, 03:56:36 PM
Why would you care about acceptance?

If you pass as a women, than stay stealth.

And avoiding company with negative people.

Personally, I could give two living s***s if family or friends object.

Big deal, they sucked anyway if they are that narrow minded.

Agreed. I do the same.

I don't get how people can say that it doesn't matter if people are accepting.

Supposing you are living stealth. Then being outed is like a sword of Damocles if you are in a hostile area. Supposing you're not stealth, it's nice not to have to deal with harrassment or worse from people who don't see you as a valid person.

I don't like living around a lot of people who "suck." I like having friends. I like being treated like a human being in stores, restaurants, and other public places. I don't like being treated like an object of ridicule and scorn. Maybe I can handle it, but I'd be fooling myself to say I don't care.

~Alyssa

I live in a village on the outskirts of Altrincham which is itself about 15 miles south of Manchester, UK.
I'm 54, 6 foot with broad shoulders and a big nose so don't pass most of the time especially if standing.
Manchester in general is probably the most trans-friendly place in the UK although there are still some areas that are more hostile.
Around Altrincham I very rarely have any problem at all, occasionally a teenager will shout the usual sort of abuse.
In my village, although I haven't socialised much in 30 years I've lived here, most people knew me by sight at least.
Apart from a bit of heckling by local teenagers when I first transitioned 18 months ago I've had no problems here at all. I did front up to a couple of the local young louts and they chose to back down (fortunately)  The rest, I went over to and had a quiet and sensible chat with, educated them a little and these days I have no problems locally at all - many say hi as they pass or chat to me a little if we happen to be at the bus-stop together etc.
One curious thing - several of the old ladies who are my neighbours have become very friendly indeed, without asking me any questions about trans. A couple in particular have taken it upon themselves to be my champions! - e.g. some workmen came to erect scaffolding and catcalled etc as I walked past them on the way to the shop. I found out later that one of the old ladies had overheard and when I had gone she went out and gave them a right good telling off.  Likewise, I heard that another one had shut down a couple of women who started making negative comments when I walked past them at the bus-stop. She told them that I was really nice person and that they should talk to me and judge for themselves instead of making assumptions. As a result of that incident they made the effort to talk to me and have now become people who stop and have a brief chat when we do pass in the street.
How cool is that for a local attitude?

All in all I'm very lucky indeed. I transitioned because I had to, but went into it fully expecting that I would be constantly insulted and ridiculed for the rest of my life.
I'm so very grateful that despite my obvious shortcomings, that has not been the case.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on March 27, 2009, 06:52:56 PM
I don't get how people can say that it doesn't matter if people are accepting.

Supposing you are living stealth. Then being outed is like a sword of Damocles if you are in a hostile area. Supposing you're not stealth, it's nice not to have to deal with harrassment or worse from people who don't see you as a valid person.

I don't like living around a lot of people who "suck." I like having friends. I like being treated like a human being in stores, restaurants, and other public places. I don't like being treated like an object of ridicule and scorn. Maybe I can handle it, but I'd be fooling myself to say I don't care.

~Alyssa

I agree.  When I finally decided to do this, I decided I could accept scorn, rejection, even violence if I had to in order to be who I've always wanted to be.  But I wouldn't want to live with only that.  My friends have been very supportive.  Being able to be open to them helps enormously.  Being treated as human is nice.  I can tough it out, but that doesn't mean that rejection doesn't hurt.

- Kate

Quote from: Steffi on March 27, 2009, 11:38:52 PM
All in all I'm very lucky indeed. I transitioned because I had to, but went into it fully expecting that I would be constantly insulted and ridiculed for the rest of my life.
I'm so very grateful that despite my obvious shortcomings, that has not been the case.

Wonderful.  I, too, have been very lucky.  All my friends have been very supportive.  One has decided to be my mentor.  I'm still very early in the process but have had no bad experiences yet.  (I will, I'm sure, especially when I start living fulltime.)  I am thankful every day for the kindeness of those around me.  Certainly there are some jerks out there, but most people are amazingly kind.

- Kate

I live on the west end in Atlanta and the people here are relatively nice about things. I get some laughter from a couple of guys down the street, more then probably because they used to hit on me from there front porch but they are uncomfortable with me now since they heard me talk (my voice is not so good) but the majority of people that can tell I'm not, for lack of a better word, average just seem confused about me. I'm sure It doesn't hurt that Im 15 minutes from midtown one of the most glbt(Is that the right order?) friendly areas in the south east.

My area is very accepting, actually it was my lesbian friend who made me comfortable enough to finally admit to everyone I know of being transgender, ever since then shes been helpful, her girlfriend has adopted me as "little sis" and those two are letting and encouraging my female side and want to help me every step of the way to adjust to my new better life :) and not only them but my male friends as well, everyone around is helpful atleast my friends, my family is currently a whole different matter currently lol

It's somewhat accepting to gays....but it's more hush hush, conservative, and then to pansies stuff.

I don't even think there are transgenders in my area.... I don't even know one.  I think I only saw two in my life, and that's only a guess. I don't even know gay people, I hardly know anyone to begin with except those acquaintances at school (I'm talking about straight people; I just don't have real friends lol).

My family is not accepting to this or anything in the GLBT community- worse being transgenders. It will be the gossip of the family, and not good gossip at all.... I know for a fact that once I am out that whole family is going to reject me, and hopefully my mother/grandmother doesn't... hopefully.

I've no idea whereabouts you are, but there are a real lot of trans support groups around. If you make the correct inquiries, you can probably find one somewhere near you.
When you've been living alone with your secret, it can be very reassuring and comforting to go to such a group and meet up with others.

Just because you don't see them doesn't mean that there aren't any there  ;)

Re: How accepting is the area you live in?

They do not know my original origins therefor it's not a problem.

I'm in the same boat...very rural, economically depressed town.

Some may call us Rednecks? Actully, I'm sure many do.

Not exactly a warm and loving mecca for transexuals.

Quote from: Steffi on April 17, 2009, 09:40:02 PM
I've no idea whereabouts you are, but there are a real lot of trans support groups around. If you make the correct inquiries, you can probably find one somewhere near you.
When you've been living alone with your secret, it can be very reassuring and comforting to go to such a group and meet up with others.

Just because you don't see them doesn't mean that there aren't any there  ;)

I'm transsexual and do not want to know about transgendered support groups and does not relate to my RLT. My objective is and always has been to live as a female. So far I am percieved as female and not a transsexual which is comforting. Even long before transition I was usually percieved as female so people do not see any changes so it's not a problem to those around me.

I dont think it as very good. Most people I've ever known have always made negative remarks about transsexuality. My maybe best friend that I thought was quite open minded suddenly complained angrily a while back ago that a woman in his close family brought up her son as a girl. And she did it only because she wanted a daughter and that she destroyed him and he guaranteed was to change sex when he was 16 start being with boys. I was struck dumb. Tried to explain that maybe this was what the boy wanted, and that the mother was extraordinary for not caring what other people think. This went on for a while, I tried to explain these things. Suddenly he just shut down. In the evening when we where together again, and some other people arrived. I brought this up again, since I had not been able to let it go. Then he just told me firmly while the other listened. That i'd been totally ->-bleeped-<-ed up again, and so(to fingers together)close to getting a fist in my face. Then I was really struck dumb. So I just said, yeah, whatever.

So I suppose that is what I have to look forward to. The strange thing is that we have talked about sex switching before. And I said that I would like to do it. I wonder if he was just joking around. This was also a serious family issue. So maybe something more behind-or finally showed his true feelings. So, I don't know, I seriously hope not all people are like this. Then it is very important to really pass I think.

I live in Central PA, in Harrisburg (state capital) about 45 minutes north of Lancaster.

Harrisburg city is actually very progressive, it was one of the first cities in the country to include transgender people under its sexual discrimination cause (waaaay back in 1983). Pretty much we are accepted anywhere in the city, and our support group is actually sponsored by some downtown restaurants, and we openly frequent them with our business. On meeting nights or for holiday dinners, usually one of them will take our 16-20 member party (many of who are noticeably trans) without any problems with anything at all, and they have bumped other groups in order to make room for us because they like us as people.

Which is hilarious, because we are surrounded by "red-state" thinking otherwise. Our elections before 2008 went Bush by at least 10% in our county. Lancaster is of course "Amish territory" and things are kinda hard down there for my trans brethren. The few trans people I know down there come up here for the support meetings.

Leaving the city and going into the suburbs, it gets a little weirder. I think how one is accepted depends on appearance, unfortunately. If you look good, even if you get read, then people just accept it; if you look bad, then they get testier. I've also seen transpeople working in various stores (Pennys, Lowe's, Home Depot, Pier One, etc.)

The one bad place is the churches. Individuals will accept you, if they know you; but I don't feel particuarly welcome in many churches. I attend MCC right now because I know I am accepted there with open arms. I left my old church because I knew it would cause a huge rift (I was prominent in the worship ministry). The few people I truly valued there are actually non-judging and have invited me over to see them, but other people I know would raise the roof if I showed up there. Disappointing.

I've actually had good experiences at the bank(s) and other places where I had to "come out" inadvertently (i.e., had to show my ID for some reason) -- I actually received words of encouragement from tellers and others, which I think is so positive.  And at my workplace, despite all the religious people there, only 3-5 out of 80 or so have been "weird" around me, the rest were so accepting. So I inclined to think it's a few bad apples screwing up the community churches, while even most of the religious people -- if they know you and know you to be a decent person -- will try to accept you.

All in all, it has been far BETTER than I had ever hoped it would be.

In my village, although I haven't socialised much in 30 years I've lived here

Given that, what exactly do you lay claim to knowing?  Not much. I'm sure.

I live in a university town surrounded by a very conservative area in the American west.  I've found this place amazingly accepting.  I'm only on day four of living fulltime, but so far so good.

As an example, I got an email from a woman I barely know, asking for information related to some volunteer work.  I sent her the information and ended my email this way: I should have mentioned it when I was talking to you, but I am working on becoming a woman, which is what I've always wanted to be.  I have quite a ways to go, but I'm already starting to use the name Katherine (or Kate).  So...
Cheers,
Kate

Her reply: Thanks, Kate.

To me, those two words speak volumes.

- Kate

Quote from: teklaIn my village, although I haven't socialised much in 30 years I've lived here

Given that, what exactly do you lay claim to knowing?  Not much. I'm sure.

WTF is wrong with you and your attitude girl?
What makes you take one part of a line, quote it completely put of context and then make some smart assed remark???
Get a life.
Get an attitude adjustment.

The full line, even separated from the rest of the post was:-
In my village, although I haven't socialised much in 30 years I've lived here, most people knew me by sight at least.
The point being that "everybody" knew who I was as a male and now "everybody" sees me around the village presenting as female and they don't seem to have a problem with it.

Sheesh.....some people....... ::)

Quote from: Steffi on April 30, 2009, 12:07:01 AM
In my village, although I haven't socialised much in 30 years I've lived here, most people knew me by sight at least.

I'm transitioning in a small town, too.  I think it makes it harder and easier at the same time.  It is one thing to go where no one knows you and so assumes that what they see is what you've always been.  It's another to be where most of the people you see during the day recognize that you presented male last week or last month.  I certainly don't know everyone in town, but I have to assume that most people I see in town recognize me for what I am - someone who had been presenting male who is transitioning to being a woman.  There may be an awkwardness in it, but there is also a comfort in no longer having to lie to people.  :) 

I'm lucky to be here.

- Kate