Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hey guys and gals,
I'd like to share some of my thoughts on what predicts success during transition. 

The word "transition" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people.  In common usage, it means that an individual stops living as their currently assigned gender/sex, and takes steps to live as the opposite one or a different one, with the goal of living a more fulfilling lifestyle (and/or to permanently eliminate negative emotions stemming from gender conflict).

While it's easy to define transition, I feel that almost everybody has a unique concept of what it means and what it entails.  One ubiquitous problem is that our concept of transition is driven by a desire to change our outward appearance.  When we use the Internet to seek out those who have successfully transitioned, we have difficulty assessing the INTERNAL changes that have occurred, and there is very little information about how to bring about those desired internal changes (aside from "go see a gender therapist").

Therefore, I believe that the single most powerful predictor of success during transition is an individual's ability to ADAPT.  Synonyms for this are guile, craftiness, flexibility, and/or cleverness.  It means that an individual is good at solving problems.

What factors predict whether an individual will be good at solving problems?  I believe that previous life experiences unrealted to transitioning are the key. 

Emotional intelligence is HUGE.  Do you know what will and will not make you happy?  Will you carry around psychological baggage that makes it difficult to accept yourself?  Can you emotionally handle bringing your new self into a harsh, rejecting world? 

Emotional intelligence is typically gained via therapy.  Some transgender children display high levels of emotional intelligence when insist they aren't their assigned gender, despite anticipating a negative reaction from those around them.  They know what will/won't make them happy, and they act on it. As adults, though, we often LOSE emotional intelligence because we bottle ourselves off emotionally, never talking with others how we feel.  Therefore, the tools that we would otherwise have to tackle emotional problems have rusted.  Creating and refining a set of tools to guide oneself through rough emotional time are absolutely critical to coming out of transition a happier, more successful person. 

Another area of intelligence is what I call "analogical intelligence".  These intelligences help one accurately answer the question, "What is it like to transition?  What tools will I need to do it successfully?" 

Here are some examples:  1) Transitioning is like acting (at first).  A good actor can make another person genuinely believe what they are saying.  2) Moving like a female is a lot like ballet; ballerinas exemplify feminine grace.  3) Finding your female voice is a lot like playing an instrument; it takes years to master the technical skills, but once completed, allows an individual a completely new level of gender expression.

You can probably think of some other analogies I haven't included.  Analogies carry out a simple function, namely, to apply knowledge from an unrelated domain to the domain of interest. 

TG/TS children have less difficulty transitioning because childhood IS A TRANSITION.   Children readily accept the fact that they don't know anything, and show a keen willingness to learn and grow.  You never hear an adolescent say, "I just can't figure out how to speak like my assigned gender"...unless they're TG/TS. 

The later in life a person gets, the more difficult transition will seem.  I have personally accepted the fact that, if I choose to do HRT, I will have to go through a second puberty.  I will have to re-learn everything that was automatically handed to everybody else.  I DO NOT look at this as "work".  Transitioning to my target gender is a blessing and a privilege that is afforded to me by modern society.  When problems arise during transition (I know they will), I will do everything in my power to overcome them.  In my opinion, it's ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL that one accepts the reality that years were lost, and that one must "regress" to some degree in order to achieve a successful transition.  We must embody the best of what children have to offer: small egos, courage, an open mind, and willingness to make mistakes and learn from them.

Internet forums like this are a blessing, because those who have some kind of knowledge can share it with others.  This empowers our community, and allows us to adapt to a world that has always treated us harshly when we were less-well-informed pre-Internet.

Those are my thoughts.  What are yours?

What you say about different intelligences and survival tools rings true with me, but perhaps since you seem to be speaking to an MTF crowd, some of your other observations don't work for me at all. I have never known what to think when people say that transwomen have to learn a whole new set of skills and body language. I have mixed feelings when you say that early transition is like acting. Ideally, a person should be able to simply be himself or herself, and to heck with anyone who doesn't like it. Realistically, the situation is not so simple. Most people seem to recognize that there are different kinds of women in the world, but at some point the balance tips: if a transwoman doesn't have enough stereotypically female traits and behaviors, then she is clocked by others.

I guess FTMs have certain advantages over MTFs. Sure, I've heard transguys asking, "Do I have to stop gesturing with my hands? Should I stop hugging people? How can I appear more masculine?" But I think a lot more FTMs can simply transition without making any big changes to their usual habits and mannerisms.

I have no plans to change anything about myself during or after transition. I gesture with my hands a bit, but I'm bloody well not going to stop. In fact, I picked it up from my very male partner, who is straight. I'm a pretty good listener, and I see no reason to stop that. I do hug close friends sometimes, but I usually guard my personal space. I dress and walk in a way that I find comfortable and right. The way I look at it, I'm still going to be me--the me that's been coming out for months now--but the only real changes will be from T and probably surgery.

I'm middle-aged and don't expect to find transition all that difficult compared to younger guys' experiences. My decision to transition, yes, that was much more difficult, I think. After all, I've been fighting this for years, and I have a lot more baggage than most twenty-year-olds.

When you say that we need to regress in order to successfully transition, I also have mixed feelings. In the first place, I don't know whether that's true for many people. In the second place...well, I have always felt myself to be stuck at the age of thirteen anyway. If regression is needed, I don't need to regress because I'm already there. What I'm doing now is getting unstuck and moving forward.

These are one boy's observations, of course. Make of them what you will.

What Arch said.

@ Arch,

I'm glad you shared your experience.  I had a feeling the FtM experience would be somewhat "less involved" than MtF.

I already had a couple reasons in mind:
1. Genetic women are allowed to dip into the world of masculinity without too much trouble.
2. Testosterone lowers the voice, so very little if any vocal work is needed.  As one's voice is lowering, the male persona and changes to the inner voice will automatically occur.  As one begins to think in a lower voice (due to auditory feedback), one will begin to feel more masculine, and vice versa.  MtFs have to do ungodly amounts of work on their voice, and it's a massive struggle to get rid of that male inner voice that's been ->-bleeped-<-ing you up your whole life.
2b. Testosterone creates bone; MtF's have to get FFS to have their faces appear genetically normal.
3. Femininity is more complex.    Guys have a few simple rules they follow.  Guys spend 3 minutes on their appearance each day.  The female world is insanely complex from the perspective of someone who's been trying to breech it for more than 10 years.  (I'm overgeneralizing here, but you get the point).  Western women spend an average of 1 hour working on their appearance each day.  Appearing female is work...
4. It's more socially acceptable for a single loner female to socialize with a group of guys than it is for a single guy to socialize in a group of females.  "You're just one of the girls" implies that a guy is gay, and gay he can never be if he hopes to avoid a traumatic existence.  "You're just one of the guys" is a term of endearment used for women who are cool/chill.

I think MtF's have an easier time in certain cultures, where expressing femininity as a man isn't so closely associated with social inferiority, powerlessness, and degradation/humiliation.

Allow me to toss something else into the blender here:

My first gender therapist remarked that brain cross-gendering can happen at any IQ level, but the lower a person's IQ, the less likely they were to transition.  His take on that was that low-IQ folks were less likely to figure out or even notice that their feelings and reactions to the world at large were at odds with their assigned gender role.

Another tidbit - somewhere I read that the LGBT communities' average IQ is 130

FWIW;

=K

Quote from: Karen on February 22, 2009, 05:44:20 PM
Allow me to toss something else into the blender here:

My first gender therapist remarked that brain cross-gendering can happen at any IQ level, but the lower a person's IQ, the less likely they were to transition.  His take on that was that low-IQ folks were less likely to figure out or even notice that their feelings and reactions to the world at large were at odds with their assigned gender role.

Another tidbit - somewhere I read that the LGBT communities' average IQ is 130

FWIW;

=K

Interesting. Do you think the same could be said for the rest of the LGB? That the higher the IQ, the more likely someone is to come out as gay?

Quote from: Karen on February 22, 2009, 05:44:20 PM
Allow me to toss something else into the blender here:

My first gender therapist remarked that brain cross-gendering can happen at any IQ level, but the lower a person's IQ, the less likely they were to transition.  His take on that was that low-IQ folks were less likely to figure out or even notice that their feelings and reactions to the world at large were at odds with their assigned gender role.

Another tidbit - somewhere I read that the LGBT communities' average IQ is 130

FWIW;

=K

Is this documented anywhere?

IQ and self-awareness... hmmm... I'm not sure I'd agree with that. There are many types of intelligence, and the types of skills necessary to score well on an IQ test aren't really the same as the ability to be in touch with yourself and know your own feelings.

In fact, it could be argued the other way, that the lower a person's IQ, the more likely they are to feel things by instinct and intuition, less 'thinking things to death and trying to deconstruct everything'... more emotional than rational and analytical.

So... I don't know, personally I don't think it makes a great deal of difference what a person's IQ score is. High or lower may just be two paths to the same realisation.

You don't have to be a genius to be able to feel something is wrong.

Good points everyone has made here.

Karen, that is interesting about the average IQ's of GLBT people.  I've often thought to myself that we all as a whole seem to be rather intelligent people.

Quote from: Karen on February 22, 2009, 05:44:20 PM

My first gender therapist remarked that brain cross-gendering can happen at any IQ level, but the lower a person's IQ, the less likely they were to transition.  His take on that was that low-IQ folks were less likely to figure out or even notice that their feelings and reactions to the world at large were at odds with their assigned gender role.

So its apparent that there's a lot of skepticism to this position.

Here's my take:

1. IQ tests measure a specific sub-set of skills, such as analogical thinking, pattern matching, arithmetic, etc.  Computers can be programmed to do these tasks better than humans.  Therefore, it's quite clear that these tests are indicators of a limited subset of intelligence; symptoms of rather than causes of intelligence (for example, "speed of processing").

2. Intelligence is something that is difficult to measure.  I can have high emotional intelligence, low social intelligence, high book smarts, and low kinesthetic intelligence.  Therefore, I long ago abandoned using the word intelligence in the traditional sense.

3. Intelligence simply corresponds to the robustness of knowledge a person has in a particular domain.  INTELLIGENCE IS RELATIVE.  An intelligent doctor in 1700 would seem mentally retarded by today's standards.

I believe that TS/TG individuals who choose to transition have a much more robust set of problem solving skills than those who do not.  And I believe that people who transition end up happier, more fulfilled, and probably make A LOT of other positive changes to their life besides their gender identity.

Having solved a lot of life's other problems pre-transition is just good preparation for the hardship of transition.  And transition is preparation for the other hard parts of life. 

IQ tests were designed by eugenicists so that social planners could more effectively assign educational resources (which are typically limited in planned socialist/communist states due to lack of robust economy).  They are purposefully designed to measure things like "speed of processing", which are woefully inadequate to predict an individual's educational success.  (Personality is probably a stronger predictor).

In conclusion, I feel that IQ tests pick up somewhat on the "intelligence" of our community, but our collective intelligence runs SO MUCH DEEPER!!!

Damn...

I can't tease that bit of data out of Google (about LGBT subset having a mean IQ of 130) -- the noise is extremely difficult to filter out.  Anecdotally, I think there is some truth to it.  But until someone finds the attribution, it'll have to be 'some sources say'.

Ya win some, an' ya lose some...

=K

130 could be on the high end (2 standard deviations above the mean, which is top 10% of the population?), but it does seem plausible.

In my experience, trans-people are generally articulate, quick-witted, and generally seem more aware of their world than the "average" person. 

It makes sense, because in order to come out and transition, you HAVE to adapt, or you'll just go back into your depressed world and fare a far worse fate.  I believe the vast majority of depression is behavioral rather than biochemical; we just have to deal with our issues because they're so heavy and so dysphoria-inducing that it's deal or die

 

Quote from: Ashling on February 22, 2009, 02:17:51 PMWe must embody the best of what children have to offer: small egos, courage, an open mind, and willingness to make mistakes and learn from them.

Those are certainly not traits I tend to see in children. Most kids I know are incredibly egotistical, closed-minded, and timid. That's not to say I don't like children; I just don't believe they're terribly noble. Just think about your average fifth-grade recess period.

I'm not sure what goes into a successful transition, though I sure wish I did. But I imagine the most important things are a realistic outlook and support from friends and (ideally) family.

Quote from: Ashling on February 22, 2009, 02:17:51 PM


if I choose to do HRT, I will have to go through a second puberty. 

You seem to have a lot of opinions for somebody who is still obviously undecided with what you need/want to do with your life. 

Is there or not a section that is specifically for people who are pro-actively transitioning?  I don't have any problems with cross-dressers or transgendered people, but I would like a place to share my own personal feelings and thoughts with others who are actually dealing with the same issues I am.  Maybe this is the wrong place for me and I should go back to the porn forums.  This is supposed to be a place on this forum for M2F Transsexuals & I just don't feel comfortable opening up with so many people here who in my opinion might identify as transgendered but have yet not done anything to transition themselves. 

Edit:  I have made up my own mind and I think online support groups are a joke.  Nobody has to be real and it is far to fake.  I will do what I always have done and support myself.  Canceling my account as of now.

Quote from: Alyssa M. on February 22, 2009, 09:07:02 PMI'm not sure what goes into a successful transition, though I sure wish I did. But I imagine the most important things are a realistic outlook and support from friends and (ideally) family.

I imagined all the things that could go wrong, and all the hurdles I might possibly have to overcome.  Then I decided that; a) if everything I imagined came true, I still had to go through with transition, and b) that probably only 10% of the bad stuff I imagined would actually happen.

=K

Karen,

I guess that's part of what I mean by realistic. So far, the 10 percent figure seems about right, maybe even a bit high, mostly because of the friends I've found. :)

I struggled for a long time with questions about the potential costs and benefits, not really able to get a good grasp of either, much less the balance between them. Eventually I decided that I'd figure it out as I went along.

~Alyssa

Quote from: sabrina on February 22, 2009, 09:12:19 PM
You seem to have a lot of opinions for somebody who is still obviously undecided with what you need/want to do with your life. 

Is there or not a section that is specifically for people who are pro-actively transitioning?  I don't have any problems with cross-dressers or transgendered people, but I would like a place to share my own personal feelings and thoughts with others who are actually dealing with the same issues I am.  Maybe this is the wrong place for me and I should go back to the porn forums.  This is supposed to be a place on this forum for M2F Transsexuals & I just don't feel comfortable opening up with so many people here who in my opinion might identify as transgendered but have yet not done anything to transition themselves. 

Edit:  I have made up my own mind and I think online support groups are a joke.  Nobody has to be real and it is far to fake.  I will do what I always have done and support myself.  Canceling my account as of now.

The therapists are that way --->

I would never advocate online forums as a replacement for genuine social interaction.  If you're trying to deal with extreme emotional issues, therapists are a great thing for that. 

Crossdressers fall under the umbrella of transgender, and therefore anybody facing MtF related issues can post here. 

You (falsely) believe that I'm undecided about what I want to do with my life.  The fact is, I've decided to tackle my problems one day at a time rather than turning into a ->-bleeped-<- mess.

A lot of people just jump in and automatically assume that transitioning to full-time is right for them because they're depressed.  I think of my gender identity as something under MY control and not the control of my emotions.  Just because I suffer from gender dysphoria DOES NOT mean that transitioning to full-time female is automatically the right thing to do.  If I try to transition and somehow "fail", I could easily spiral into a deep depression.  Emotional issues MUST be worked out in advance of making big decisions.

It sounds like you're putting out a cry for attention here.  If you genuinely need help, I'm sorry, you're going to have to seek the services of a professional.  All I can do is offer my opinion on stuff via this anonymous forum. 

Also, before passing judgment, you'll have to keep in mind that each person is different.  I don't look at my gender identity the way most TG/TS people do.   

Quote from: Alyssa M. on February 22, 2009, 09:07:02 PM

I'm not sure what goes into a successful transition, though I sure wish I did. But I imagine the most important things are a realistic outlook and support from friends and (ideally) family.

I suppose the fact that none of us really know is why gender therapists aren't out of a job.

I think social support is good for depression (makes things easier), but unless everybody is SUPER supportive (sisters teaching you everything you wanted to know about being female) it may just bolster your resolve.

I agree, a realistic outlook is absolutely imperative.

Quote from: Karen on February 22, 2009, 09:28:41 PM
I imagined all the things that could go wrong, and all the hurdles I might possibly have to overcome.  Then I decided that; a) if everything I imagined came true, I still had to go through with transition, and b) that probably only 10% of the bad stuff I imagined would actually happen.

=K

EXCELLENT PERSPECTIVE.  Another way of stating this is that you have to have the willpower, courage, and resolve to transition.  If you don't have the courage to do it, then you're just going to continue to face depression, with all of the addiction, etc. that comes along with it. 

I think the risks temporarily scare a lot of people off who really are suffering from GID/GD.

Transition is not for the timid.   

Ashling

Are you writing a thesis for a doctorate or something. You just have sooo many questions and opinions on everything. Everyone has questions but IMO the answer does not reside in online forums as to whether to transition or not. This is up to the individual and it does not matter how many 'correct' or 'incorrect' answers there are to an individuals questions.

There is no logic or resoning to transition or not to. Its a personal decision.

Grow up and be the man or woman that you are

Quote from: Ashling on February 22, 2009, 08:22:57 PM
130 could be on the high end (2 standard deviations above the mean, which is top 10% of the population?), but it does seem plausible.

Folks, ever since I was a kid, the official stat has always been IQ 130 or higher = 2% of the population. Definitely not 10%.

Not to hijack the thread, but that seems to already have happened.

Quote from: Krissy_Australia on February 23, 2009, 01:46:20 AM
Ashling

Are you writing a thesis for a doctorate or something. You just have sooo many questions and opinions on everything. Everyone has questions but IMO the answer does not reside in online forums as to whether to transition or not. This is up to the individual and it does not matter how many 'correct' or 'incorrect' answers there are to an individuals questions.

There is no logic or resoning to transition or not to. Its a personal decision.

Grow up and be the man or woman that you are

ROFL, you'd think I was in the process of writing a dissertation about TG/TS issues.  But alas, no.

To be honest with you, gathering information is just my style.  I feel like a lot of people make big life decisions without properly understanding the risks, and/or having a realistic outlook.  I've known for a long time that transition is risky, and I"ve heard enough horror stories that I know better than to jump in unprepared.

Before I started seeing a therapist, I had a pretty unrealistic outlook on transitioning.  Spending time on these boards between therapy sessions has given me a MUCH more realistic outlook of what to expect.  I've learned way more here than I would have in months of support group meetings.

Example: Dr. Ousterhout is worshipped by so many in the trans community.  I always felt creeped out by Dr. Ousterhout, and I never cared much for his FFS outcomes.  After reading peoples' opinions on this god of surgery, I've come to understand precisely why i don't like his surgical methods, and I have a much clearer understanding of what kinds of surgical options are available.

My transition-related decisions are driven by therapy, not discussion boards.

Also, I have very mild gender dysphoria b/c of my personality, so the long-term outcome of transition has to outweigh the risks.  (Most people will disagree with me that gender dysphoria can't be mild, but that's their experience, not mine).

Finally, I share my opinions because I'm opinionated.  Through writing, I'm able to sort out my thoughts.  I don't care if people think I'm crazy for typing so much, I do it for myself, not them.

Quote from: Arch on February 23, 2009, 10:37:14 AM
Folks, ever since I was a kid, the official stat has always been IQ 130 or higher = 2% of the population. Definitely not 10%.

Not to hijack the thread, but that seems to already have happened.

If you go to Mensa.org and click on their information tab, they explain that each IQ tests have different scales.  The percentile rather than the raw score is what matters. 

Quote from: sabrina on February 22, 2009, 09:12:19 PM
This is supposed to be a place on this forum for M2F Transsexuals & I just don't feel comfortable opening up with so many people here who in my opinion might identify as transgendered but have yet not done anything to transition themselves. 

Quote from: Ashling on February 22, 2009, 11:22:58 PM

Crossdressers fall under the umbrella of transgender, and therefore anybody facing MtF related issues can post here. 

I agree with Sabrina that this forum is for those of us who have acknowledged who we really are and actively pursuing steps to correct things. Its true this is a public forum and any one can post here, but in the spirit of this site dont you think, as a crossdresser, that your questions would be better posted in the other forums provided for other forms of ->-bleeped-<-.

Quote from: Ashling on February 23, 2009, 09:49:42 PM
If you go to Mensa.org and click on their information tab, they explain that each IQ tests have different scales.  The percentile rather than the raw score is what matters.

I'm aware of Mensa's take on things, but I should have been more specific. I was referring to a standard Stanford-Binet. Mensa only accepts folks from the 98th percentile regardless of the test, so that's around a 130 IQ for the test I'm talking about.

Wow! I went back to the first page to read your first post Ashling, and I have on many occasions thought of the same thing. It would be very interesting to see how far this thread will evolve to.

Here is an essay I sent to a medical student, Dr Meghan, who was studying transsexuality. To a greater degree my essay is centered around preparation for SRS as well a transitioning from trance to becoming a woman.

Are you preparing for SRS? Then may I make a few more small points about why many post op TS-girls don't come back?  It is not just because of pride, nor is it being just unwilling to admit they are hurting and need help in some way or another. This hurting can be from different living pains. Problems adjusting to daily life, isolating, inability to make friends, problems with family, boy friends, girl friends, difficulties at work, or difficulties finding a job, resulting in money problems, etc.

Yes, some of the problems before SRS may not change all that much and can be carried over after SRS, unless dealt with prior to SRS. This is why it is also important that you learn to adjust to the circumstances and work on resolving possible problems beforehand, even if the full time experience has to be extended in order to do so. Be prepared and conditioned to live in the preferred gender, female in this case. Some actually make the error and neglect or wait for the last moment to prepare for this and as a result they are at a loss or in the dark as to how to live like a woman when they come out at the other end of transitioning.

There is a lot more to becoming a woman then just looking good in the physical image and body. Evolving physically as a passable woman is wonderful for your self-image and will be a great asset to your credibility. But evolving within, the inner self, is also very important. This growth I believe is both psychological and spiritual in nature and in this respect we have only begun the journey into womanhood.

This learning and growing will continue for the rest of our lives. I am 9 years full time and I am still discovering and learning different facets about the growing inner self. A GG on the other hand has grown-up or evolved to be who she is from early childhood to wherever she finds herself in her present life, then followed by all the experiences from teenage puberty to womanhood, to conceiving a child and childbirth. But then, even a GG still undergoes and experiences growth within throughout her whole life. It's much like preparing for a new job, like it is wise to learn what all are the different aspects and responsibilities of your job going to be before just jumping in
blindfolded.

Do you know what being a woman is and what living as a woman is like? The feelings, thoughts, and how she perceives the environment around her and other people she interacts with everyday? To be sure, there are physical differences between women and men and contemporary society has managed to blur them to the point that they are not easily seen.  Both genders can perform many of the same tasks and show little difference in other observable ways. But the greater difference between a woman and a man I believe would be inward. Now these ideas are only samples, not hard scientific fact. But it's not really as big a deal as it may seem. Just let instinct and intuition guide you. Estrogen will stimulate and awaken instinct and intuition to a fair degree.

I do know some post op TS-girls that have moved on with their lives and have done well for
themselves. They have good jobs and have even settled down with either a male or female partner. But unfortunately I have seen some end up alone and very lonely mostly because of fear of changing their circumstances for whatever their reason, real, imaginary, or self-imposed. That is something else about post ops. They are quite close-lipped about what is going on in their lives even if the return to the TS message boards to say something.

I will be back tomorrow and we can discuss more about after post op. Tomorrow is my day off so I will be here to check the boards. Sorry for getting back to you so late.

Part #2

Can transitioning have a happy end result? Can this really happen? It is possible for anyone to find contentment, peace, and happiness if they so desire and are willing to work and persevere for it. I mean if an old bat like me survived what I did and came out the other end smelling like roses, literally, anyone can do it.

Even regular people or cisgendered people, what ever, would be envious if not jealous of the way my apparent fairy tail life has progressed, from rags.....well not riches, reasonably well to do I suppose, I guess. Perhaps Cinderella and her glass slipper and her princess Wing Walker who came to the rescue. You know what? I deserve a good life after all the crap I had to bear getting here. If I had not chosen transition I may not be here to type out this story. I have only come here to try to share and impart what has been so freely given to me by Great Spirit.

I followed the call and found my journey to be filled with new discoveries and new things to learn about life and living.

So many wonderful things to see and experience, and so much beauty to enjoy. Like a young lady discovering her new role in life for the first time. If I would have stayed back there sitting on that fence I truly believe I would have stagnated and would have shriveled up into an empty dried out husk and blown away in the wind. But the shell was not empty, it was filled with the beautiful spirit of the girl child within. This beautiful child that would have been no more.

I gave her rebirth and allowed her to grow into her own being, the beautiful being that she has grown to be today. But the growth does not end, the girl child grows and matures into a lady and later she will become a wise, caring, and loving elder. It is the same process as any other genetic woman. The growth never ends, from child to crone. The growth and changes will continue until the time comes for me to relinquish the shell and take flight into the next existence.

Until then I will do what I can to continue to light the way for others to follow, The calling that has beckoned me since early childhood. This is what I *need* to do not want. I have overcome the disorder of GID, I have survived the streets and alcoholism and I am now at long last free to do what my heart desires most, to help those who were once the lot I was part of.

I do pray this was instrumental information for some

There are more of such ramblings in my Blog, Cindy's Rambling Blogs

With Love Cindy

Success for some people may be merely to survive transition and remain with a job, family and friends. For others it may to be to on a lead a new life away from the pressures of transition, be that stealth or not.

Interlect does play a major role in this as transition invariably needs cash to finance this or means to obtain loans etc. invariably the more interlectual someone is, the better the educational qualifications and hence the greater prospects of a well paid job before and after transition. We can not all have degrees or PhD's though and for many people success is based on just being able to transition.

But wether your IQ is above 130 or not, you still need great courage to transition and face the unknown and what that brings and you set your own success criteria as an individual based on what you hope to achieve.

Rebecca

Don't believe the IQ business at all!

IQ is very education and culture specific anyway and I suspect the results have been blurred by LGBTQI people's necessity to be smart to survive in this prejudiced world we live in.

i do not really care to post personal info but to be honest im of a low IQ but my transition has been highly sucessful.

I do not put that down to any intelligence i have or havent possessed but more the motivation to change any situation i require and perhaps thats is what really matters.

Quote from: Ms Delgado on February 24, 2009, 05:54:27 AM
i do not really care to post personal info but to be honest im of a low IQ but my transition has been highly sucessful.

I do not put that down to any intelligence i have or havent possessed but more the motivation to change any situation i require and perhaps thats is what really matters.

My point exactly, in real life so called EQ is probably just as important as IQ.

I know I am rather "odd" but in retrospect the factors that made it so easy and so successful for me were:

- being young (24 at SRS)
- being DUMB (I KNEW I was naive and knew nothing)
- being open to learning (knowing I was "under-socialized")
- ten years of living part time en femme  (so I had some idea what lay ahead)
- knowing I was NOT (and never had been) "a guy" (but I wasn't really sure I was a girl either because I had not lived it 24/7 with immunity)

.... but that's just me.

Thirty-five years later this spring and still having a ball!

Dictionary version
IQ = a measure of a person's intelligence as indicated by an intelligence test; the ratio of a person's mental age to their chronological age (multiplied by 100)

Dictionary version
Intelligence = capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, and similar forms of mental activity; aptitude in grasping truths, relationships, facts, meanings, etc.

IQ deals mostly with education
Intelligence, just to name a few cogitations,  deals with a combination having or showing quick intelligence or ready mental capability as well as determined by natural impulse or propensity; acting or produced without reasoning, deliberation, instruction, or experience; spontaneous.

I was 15 years old when I ran away from home, a grade 5 public school drop out. I survived and even thrived, I worked in factories washing dishes in restaurants, worked on farms, fruit picking in the orchards in Florida, dug ditches, worked as stock boy/girl in stores. inside always was a girl and I was quite aware of it, just didn't know waht to do about it at the time.

I drove in stock car races.

Racing hot rods,

Snow machines,

Flew bush planes,

Moped floors, painted houses, made my away around the better half of both eastern US and Canada.

Survived alcohol.

Survived life on the street.

Returned to school to get the necessary papers to secure employment as a Social Worker. worked twenty years as a social worker retired then went back to doing social work.

Then I finally arrived at the door step to transition.
So pardon my English but, for me it was a slam bam, thank you mama experiences compared to where I came from. In comparison transition was like falling off a log, just another journey, but a wonderful journey. I am so very thankful I didn't miss it. On this journey I discovered the girl child within and surrendered to her then gave her life.

I don't shy away from telling my story to any one if I think it can be of any help. I have a wealth of stories to tell out of 63 year kicking about this planet, both good and bad. I believe it's probably all over the internet by now anyway. Gee, that even beets The National Enquirer.  ;D

Cindy

   

Quote from: imaz on February 24, 2009, 06:35:46 AM
My point exactly, in real life so called EQ is probably just as important as IQ.

As though EQ isn't just as arbitrary and culture-based ...

You might not like what it tests, but it's not some big mystery. IQ, for adolescents and adults at least, is pretty similar to the SAT, which is to say that it measures how well you do in traditional western education.

--

Ashling,

You did say two standard deviations. You never have 10 percent above two sigma, even with a terribly pathalogical (non-gaussian) distribution. If you have something fairly gaussian (a.k.a. "normal," which is what you ought to try for if you want to understand your resluts, and which comes up naturally due to the Central Limit Theorem), about 2.3% fall above 2 sigma.

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_limit_theorem (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_limit_theorem) and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Normal_Distribution.svg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:The_Normal_Distribution.svg)

Quote from: Krissy_Australia on February 23, 2009, 10:56:32 PM
Its true this is a public forum and any one can post here, but in the spirit of this site dont you think, as a crossdresser, that your questions would be better posted in the other forums provided for other forms of ->-bleeped-<-.

Just a couple of things, first I am sorry for being a bratty b!tch, I am not seeking attention, I am going through somethings that have made me very emotional and for that I no excuse.

I do have people to confide in friends & my therapist; my problem is they are not TS, sometimes I think it would be good to speak with other women who are going through similar experiences as I.

So I re-activated my account, I have never been a quitter & I will try to be supportive and helpful as needed.

Quote from: sabrina on February 25, 2009, 12:25:20 AM
Just a couple of things, first I am sorry for being a bratty b!tch, I am not seeking attention, I am going through somethings that have made me very emotional and for that I no excuse.

I do have people to confide in friends & my therapist; my problem is they are not TS, sometimes I think it would be good to speak with other women who are going through similar experiences as I.

So I re-activated my account, I have never been a quitter & I will try to be supportive and helpful as needed.

Sabrina, for what it's worth it always drives me bonkers when I attempt to get the opinion of the post-transition guys and everyone (FTM, MTF and anywhere inbetween) replies to the thread.  I feel your pain.

Sabrina,

I hope you can find some support, and maybe lend some to others. I'd just point out that making the decision to transition is one of the most difficult parts of the whole process for many people. It was for me. Also, it takes all types, from people who are ridiculously stable and happy to complete basketcases, and so on.

I think you'll find that there are at least a few women here that you'll be able to relate to. It's tough to find IRL, since there's no real transsexual community just about anywhere, and no reason there really should be. Online communities, blogs, youtube and so on are some of the best things going to combat the feeling of isolation. At least, they have been for me.

~Alyssa