Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 10:30:46 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 10:30:46 AM
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 10:30:46 AM
For those counting, I am somewhere on the third rejection.
This time it was for not proving it was a medical reason. Basically it comes down to the person in that position not wanting me to resume my former name for whatever reason she may have and is using her power to make the univierse shape to her views.
My lawyer wanted to appeal but that would cost me $700 plus an expert witness. Since I had to have a friend buy me food last month so I could eat, I told her that the entire thing was dead.
After the initial contact, the ACLU never followed up. No big surprise there at all.
So now I am forced to leave everything behind and move. No idea when that will be yet. Until then I cannot change jobs, write checks, or even buy alcohol. Fun stuff.
Anyone in NC. You only get one shot, make sure you are truly ready before doing anything.
Anyone not in NC. Stay away. There should be warnings posted along the highways that this is still Jesse Helms country.
This time it was for not proving it was a medical reason. Basically it comes down to the person in that position not wanting me to resume my former name for whatever reason she may have and is using her power to make the univierse shape to her views.
My lawyer wanted to appeal but that would cost me $700 plus an expert witness. Since I had to have a friend buy me food last month so I could eat, I told her that the entire thing was dead.
After the initial contact, the ACLU never followed up. No big surprise there at all.
So now I am forced to leave everything behind and move. No idea when that will be yet. Until then I cannot change jobs, write checks, or even buy alcohol. Fun stuff.
Anyone in NC. You only get one shot, make sure you are truly ready before doing anything.
Anyone not in NC. Stay away. There should be warnings posted along the highways that this is still Jesse Helms country.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Melissa on August 21, 2006, 10:46:50 AM
Post by: Melissa on August 21, 2006, 10:46:50 AM
Good luck with that LIT. Any ideas where you plan to move to?
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Dennis on August 21, 2006, 11:48:23 AM
Post by: Dennis on August 21, 2006, 11:48:23 AM
That's appalling. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Dennis
Dennis
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Peggiann on August 21, 2006, 12:25:41 PM
Post by: Peggiann on August 21, 2006, 12:25:41 PM
So Sorry to hear of this hoop that the holding hand keeps raising as you leap to try to make it through was out of reach agin. Doesn't feel fair from my shoes either. So sorry you are having such a tough time of it. Try to keep your chin up and your mind set for the move to brighter and better tomorrows.
Smiles a bit crooked,
Peggiann
Smiles a bit crooked,
Peggiann
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Buffy on August 21, 2006, 12:55:06 PM
Post by: Buffy on August 21, 2006, 12:55:06 PM
So Sorry to read this post.
Never give up LIT......
Buffy
Never give up LIT......
Buffy
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 01:39:44 PM
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 01:39:44 PM
I just hate having to change my state of residence for something that should be a major non-issue. I would contact my reps but there is very little difference between Republicans and Democrats for most of the state and the county I am in is rather conservative. Looking forward to having everything changed sometime late next year. Then I will be able to prove I am who I say I am and look for a better paying job. Being in the land of two identities can really stink (the feds had no issue with me resuming my former name and so social security was changed as were all of my bank and employment records).
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Melissa on August 21, 2006, 02:10:44 PM
Post by: Melissa on August 21, 2006, 02:10:44 PM
Could a therapist write a letter to show that it's for a medical reason?
Melissa
Melissa
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 03:05:11 PM
Post by: LostInTime on August 21, 2006, 03:05:11 PM
Already have a notorised statement from my therapist. Even used the Aetna insurance policy. Also detailed the fact that I see multiple doctors for things like hormones.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: mefree on August 21, 2006, 03:26:23 PM
Post by: mefree on August 21, 2006, 03:26:23 PM
I am so sorry to hear that, that must be terrible to be inbetween LEGAL identities.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: BrandiOK on August 31, 2006, 09:53:28 PM
Post by: BrandiOK on August 31, 2006, 09:53:28 PM
Since I'm new to this forum I'm not sure of all your details or what you have tried and what you haven't. My suggestion would be to contact Lambda Legal and explain your problem (lambdalegal.org). They do not charge money for thier services and they specialize in GLBT issues.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on September 01, 2006, 09:21:31 AM
Post by: LostInTime on September 01, 2006, 09:21:31 AM
When this started a few years ago I contacted Lambda, the ACLU, one other I cannot think of right now, and one local group and never heard a word. The NC ACLU finally contacted me this year and then never followed up at all.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: BrandiOK on September 01, 2006, 09:35:02 AM
Post by: BrandiOK on September 01, 2006, 09:35:02 AM
Hmm...I would suggest trying to contact Lambda again. I do know that they are swamped, especially the attorney who deals with TG cases. It's possible your request got lost in the confusion. My roommate and I are using them and while they difficult to get ahold of because of case loads they swing a huge hammer in the legal arena. While this whole same sex marriage issue is a valid one, unfortunately it is tieing up a lot of legal resources that would normally be available to non-marriage issues. Wish I could be of more help :(
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: taylor on September 01, 2006, 11:28:05 PM
Post by: taylor on September 01, 2006, 11:28:05 PM
LT,
I agree 100% with Brandi, Lambda Legal is very pro active. I used them a few years ago for a situation and they were extremely effective!! Oh and they were fast on their feet too! I think they will tell you if this is not a case for them, but call them, just remember they are short staffed at their phone ( or they used to be) and you have to call within a certian hour or two. If they do assist you where you live is not an issue, they have attorney's all over the place and they will travel to your part of the state. The attorney that came out and took care of my situation came about 5 hrs or so away. He kicked butt and literally took names, in a matter of 30 minutes the problem was over!
Peace,
Taylor
I agree 100% with Brandi, Lambda Legal is very pro active. I used them a few years ago for a situation and they were extremely effective!! Oh and they were fast on their feet too! I think they will tell you if this is not a case for them, but call them, just remember they are short staffed at their phone ( or they used to be) and you have to call within a certian hour or two. If they do assist you where you live is not an issue, they have attorney's all over the place and they will travel to your part of the state. The attorney that came out and took care of my situation came about 5 hrs or so away. He kicked butt and literally took names, in a matter of 30 minutes the problem was over!
Peace,
Taylor
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Julie Marie on September 03, 2006, 02:26:49 PM
Post by: Julie Marie on September 03, 2006, 02:26:49 PM
I've never understood why it's so important to people who you will never socialize with or even live next door to that you live your life in a way that makes them happy. Obviously they have no regard for the personal happiness of others.
I wish you all the best in the future. If you're thinking of moving to Illinois, just be warned they won't change the gender on your birth certificate after SRS unless the surgeon who performed the surgery is licensed in the US. Another great and meaningful law created by narrow minded idiots!
I wish you all the best in the future. If you're thinking of moving to Illinois, just be warned they won't change the gender on your birth certificate after SRS unless the surgeon who performed the surgery is licensed in the US. Another great and meaningful law created by narrow minded idiots!
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: tinkerbell on September 03, 2006, 05:39:35 PM
Post by: tinkerbell on September 03, 2006, 05:39:35 PM
I am so sad that this is happening to you, LIT. If I may add my two cents here, I also think that you should contact Lambda Legal again. They may be extremely busy due to all the cases they have to take care of. Please read my PM.
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: umop ap!sdn on September 04, 2006, 12:00:15 AM
Post by: umop ap!sdn on September 04, 2006, 12:00:15 AM
Gosh that stinks. Why is it some people feel the need to ruin others' lives for no reason. I know AZ is so far from NC but the entire courthouse was friendly to me during my name change.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on September 05, 2006, 08:31:32 AM
Post by: LostInTime on September 05, 2006, 08:31:32 AM
Thanks everyone.
I contacted the NC-ACLU again and am waiting to hear back. If that does not happen by next week, I will try Lambda one more time. Oh they must have gotten the email I sent them because I have been on their mailing list ever since. Anytime they need money, I get a letter from them in the mailbox.
Julie, birth certificates are handled by the state one is born in. In my case I can have the name and gender changed, if I can afford surgery (which I cannot, not even over in Thailand).
Right now I am leaning towards taking up residence in another state and moving forward with the name change there with hopes of completely relocating in the near future.
I contacted the NC-ACLU again and am waiting to hear back. If that does not happen by next week, I will try Lambda one more time. Oh they must have gotten the email I sent them because I have been on their mailing list ever since. Anytime they need money, I get a letter from them in the mailbox.
Julie, birth certificates are handled by the state one is born in. In my case I can have the name and gender changed, if I can afford surgery (which I cannot, not even over in Thailand).
Right now I am leaning towards taking up residence in another state and moving forward with the name change there with hopes of completely relocating in the near future.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: veronica06 on September 21, 2006, 11:08:55 PM
Post by: veronica06 on September 21, 2006, 11:08:55 PM
I of course personally have no idea of the rings you have to jump through in the legal circus......
I just hope that some day...when it is my turn....I do not have too many tents to perform in.
please stay in there and keep up the hope.
I just hope that some day...when it is my turn....I do not have too many tents to perform in.
please stay in there and keep up the hope.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on September 22, 2006, 10:06:47 AM
Post by: LostInTime on September 22, 2006, 10:06:47 AM
Thanks Veronica.
Had I known this would happen I never would have backtracked. However, I never would have had the chance to change careers and make more money and have a variety of choices laid before me.
It is aggravating but I shall win the war.
Had I known this would happen I never would have backtracked. However, I never would have had the chance to change careers and make more money and have a variety of choices laid before me.
It is aggravating but I shall win the war.
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: Dennis on September 22, 2006, 08:47:42 PM
Post by: Dennis on September 22, 2006, 08:47:42 PM
You will, LiT, you will. With that attitude, you could conquer nations :)
Dennis
Dennis
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: tinkerbell on September 22, 2006, 10:57:22 PM
Post by: tinkerbell on September 22, 2006, 10:57:22 PM
Quote from: Lost In TimeI will try Lambda one more time
You know you can always send me a PM if you know what I mean.. ;)
tinkerbell :icon_chick:
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: taylor on September 22, 2006, 11:44:05 PM
Post by: taylor on September 22, 2006, 11:44:05 PM
LIT,
just wondering if you have heard back from anyone?
Hang in there!
Peace,
Taylor
just wondering if you have heard back from anyone?
Hang in there!
Peace,
Taylor
Title: Re: Name change denied----again
Post by: LostInTime on September 23, 2006, 06:59:50 AM
Post by: LostInTime on September 23, 2006, 06:59:50 AM
I still have not heard back from the ACLU. With a few things going on right now such as a wedding, I have not had time to call Lambda. Also starting to think why put myself back on the radar. It will mean taking this stupid law to the supreme court in my state and that would mean some sort of news coverage. Therefore, I am leaning towards taking up a residence in another state and moving forward from there. If I ended up not being able to completely relocate, I still have my house in NC. But it all requires money and I am kind of strapped for that right now.
Thanks everyone. :)
Thanks everyone. :)