Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Latley i have been really down and felt like i am hiden in my familt like no one care how i fill. But today things got so much worse my mum just went to the doc there is a strong chance she might have brest cancer. Last year was hard enough for me when  she brock up with my step dad and watching her cry every night now that shes back with him and life seemed like it was getting better now this. I dont now if i can deal with this and my probs i fill like in selfish

that sucks, man. sorry you're going through this. hope you mum's tests come back ok.

Hi,

   You don't have to feel selfish.  There is only so much you can do for other people and for yourself.  You seem to care and that shows you are not selfish. 

   I hope your mother's tests come out really good.


Rebis

I personally dont think you are selfish at all, you obviously care about your mother otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned her. How about trying to have a talk to her about you feel?

I hope her tests come back okay.

Chin up bro!

Jay

My mum does have breast cancer. So i dunno how will i deal with this i dont want to put what i have on hold but at the sametime i fill selfish if i dont can i deal with all this the  world is on my sholders

Quote from: Hazard on March 12, 2009, 11:30:59 AM
My mum does have breast cancer. So i dunno how will i deal with this i dont want to put what i have on hold but at the sametime i fill selfish if i dont can i deal with all this the  world is on my sholders

Aww sorry to hear that man. *Bear Hug*
Can you not deal with both? I understand when you say you feel like the whole is on your shoulders.

Jay

Yeh i prob  can deal with both but u dont now my mum everythink revoles around her im waiting for a letter to say if im going to charing cross or a local place and i now when i get that letter she will say what about me i have cancer. That all she thinks about is herself and i will help her all  the way with this but my mother is the kind of person that she wants everyone elses life to stop i love my mum i really do but that why im saying i dont now how to deal with this cuz  i now she will wannt me to stop

Hazard, I know this sounds really cold but Yes your mother does have cancer but you have accepted it and you need to get on with your life also. The world cant stop because she is ill. And an hour away from her wont harm her. I think you maybe need to speak to your mother once you get that letter through or don't tell her to prevent repercussions.

I am guessing you are in the UK yeah? Have you seen anyone as yet? As I heard that Charing Cross has a long waiting list.

Jay

My doc sent me a letter couple of weeks ago i think i posted it under seeing gp on here but im just waiting for aletter to see what she come up with she trying to get me into charing cross or a local place to see someone

Sounds good well let us know when you get into somewhere. You should press to see Dr Curtis! :)

May be different for you being FTM but personally I really couldn't stand Dr Curtis.

Perhaps Dr Reid was too nice but I found Dr Curtis very judgmental and non accepting of anything non binary.

Didn't like his camp assistant either to be honest.

Quote from: imaz on March 12, 2009, 01:58:57 PM
Didn't like his camp assistant either to be honest.

I don't like him either he is very rude and comes across aggressive..


Jay

She come back about 30mins ago its deff cancer and she has 2 lumps GOD

Quote from: Hazard on March 12, 2009, 03:30:40 PM
She come back about 30mins ago its deff cancer and she has 2 lumps GOD

Awww dude *Bear hug* I hope she gets it sorted quickly and gets better soon :)

Jay

Good luck, medicine has come a long way and cure rates are always improving. Try to stay positive for both of your sakes.

Hugs :)

Stay strong man. Breast cancer is such a scary thing, frankly it scares the crap outta me. But like Imaz said, medicine is improving.

I'm hoping for the best for you and your mom.

Quote from: Jay on March 12, 2009, 03:11:54 PM
I don't like him either he is very rude and comes across aggressive..


Jay

Frankly Curtis's paranoia of getting rid of any trace of masculinity extended even to the office furnishings and taking notes on some ridiculous electronic handwriting recognition tablet. We had an instant dislike for each other which I suspect is related to some of the TG vs. Binary discussions on here. I tried to be polite but it was no use as he just was unpleasently condescending, something he never dared do in Russell Reids's presence.

I'd never go back and as for that assistant, well as we say in South London... he needed a slap! ;D

Quote from: imaz on March 12, 2009, 06:08:20 PM
Frankly Curtis's paranoia of getting rid of any trace of masculinity extended even to the office furnishings and taking notes on some ridiculous electronic handwriting recognition tablet. We had an instant dislike for each other which I suspect is related to some of the TG vs. Binary discussions on here. I tried to be polite but it was no use as he just was unpleasently condescending, something he never dared do in Russell Reids's presence.

I'd never go back and as for that assistant, well as we say in South London... he needed a slap! ;D

So who do you see now then? Do you go to Charing Cross? He isn't really a people person.. I was about 20 minutes late for a half an hour session last time and he said you will have to wait.. and I said I dont really have anything to say except I brought my bloods.. he just doesn't seem to have people skills what so ever.

And I agree with the he needs a slap :P

Jay

Hi Hazard
Sorry about all the bad news. There have been tremendous advances in breast cancer therapy, with several new treatments and certainly avaiable in the UK. But it is still a terrible disease both medically and personally.
Support your Mum, she will need it. Even let her cry with you. Especially when chemo etc kicks in. BUT, you have to look for your future and desires. If you don't you will be a depressed mess, and maybe make poor decisions. If you get to that state your mum will be even worse off.

Remember we are here for you. Keep talking

All my love and support

Cindy James

Last night when mum came back from the docs.  the hole family pretty much cryed when she said she had cancer, My sister and her oldest son  were crying together and im not the kind of person to let my fillings out but i did, my mum just grabed my hand so tight and huged me, she told me she will be ok. and i said i cant have her leave me i cant deal with that i need her to say here and helkp me. she she new that it was hard for me to take this in with everythink that iv been though, she keeped hold of my hand for ages, that small simble told me she nows its hard for me to deal with with everythink iv been going though altho i now everyone else is the same, and we r all upset and scared, but she nows with everythink i had to put up with last year and now this she nows it gets me very very down and stressed and she showed me that. and this morning i need to show her i loved her and got her a card just to say i be there for her, she hugged me. the funny thing is she never does that, ever i now im a (guy) and to be true i dont always want it but i need it sometimes. and i think she starting to relise this, me my mum and younger sister all had a long talk last night and i told her im going to find this very diffecalt and hard with everythink thats going on with me and u its going to be stressful for me but i will do everythink i can to help u and be there for u, she didnt say anythink. but i think she new what i was saying. i didnt say much cuz i didnt want her to get upset and think all im thinking about is myself when it isnt. all thats going on in my head right now is her, altho im thinking of my life too. shes in my mind all the time. im so scared for her, well anyways. today was a ok dayaltho  we got some i dunno gd news bad news  we dunno yet. anyways she went for a managram (if i spelled that right) were ther scan a 3d image of her breast well thersaw the cancer lump but they said they want to cheack the other one. and she had 4 very very very very small dots in there they said it could be what they call calseum and thats just want the ody does sometimes. or it could be small signs of cancer, BUT they think cuz they saw it now it very very earley stayes if cancer (if thats what it is). anyways. besides that my mums been very strong. and craking lil jokes. showing she hasnt forgot about me. saying stuff like if they take my breats can i have urs.. LOL of course i said deffo. lol.but small things like that makes me fill like shes thinking about me. and hasnt forgot, anyways besides that im fillinf ok trying to stay porsertive for the both of us. i now this is of topic but its easyer to talk about it to anyone. so thanks guys, for all the helpful advice, even tho its nothing to do with the fourm. it still helps.

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear that. My mom had cancer, but she didn't tell us until it was over. Well, me at least. So I never had the chance to be there for her. Its good your mom is making jokes, though. Laughter is good for the soul. I hope the four tiny spots were just calcium.
Do they know if the larger lump is terminal or benine yet? I don't know much, just what I gathered from tv, so I'm not sure if it is possible for cancer to be benine. Also, do they know if they're going to do surgery or just treat it..?
I really hope she gets better soon. And I hope it isn't too hard on any of you. *hugs again*

<3

they dont now about the 4 tiny spots they will tell her on tusday. and she will be having her breast taken away. and maybe the 4 spots if they need. to she will find that out on tuesday too. after the opp she will go onto radio theripy and cemo. so she will be very ill with that, but its a gd thing she has older kids that can take care of themselfs really.

I wish her lots of luck for tuesday. Do you know how long she'll need cemo?

6mths i think

That's not too bad. My grandpa went for several years.

I'm sorry you're dealing with so much. I hope your mom will be okay. There are a lot of success stories out there.

Mum went to docs today i went with her. Cuz i wanted to ask about going to a local place since whats going on i thpught it would be alot easyer. Well before i even said anythink she told me she got  me into a local place in hampshire. Also me and mum had a talk she said she dont want me to stop what i was doing she want me to try and handle both she said that if i need to go anywere then i can. She told me she sees how depressed i get and anythink that will help i should try to deal with it.