Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: Valerie Elizabeth on March 09, 2009, 10:57:06 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: Valerie Elizabeth on March 09, 2009, 10:57:06 PM
Post by: Valerie Elizabeth on March 09, 2009, 10:57:06 PM
So, recently I started HRT. Right now, my plans are to go full time starting during the summer, maybe in the fall with the beginning of the school year. I am also looking at the possibility of FFS around August, but that is not set in stone. Just a thought because I know I will get some facial changes with HRT. I feel like I need to come out at work before I go full time because I plan on changing my name soon. With work, I assist on outdoor trips (hiking, climbing, camping, etc) which tend to get a little personal, and make it really hard to hide anything. I will be in my last year of school here before med school. I want to get the transition done before med school.
I work on campus right now, at a rock climbing gym and I assist with outdoor classes. I am friends with the entire staff (with the exception of one person). What is the best way to tell people at work. Should I start with my bosses, and then send out an email to the other employees? I am kind of lost on how to handle telling these people. I am pretty sure that my bosses will be ok with it, and that most of the people I work with will also be ok with it. How have some of you come out at work? What do you think is the best way going about it?
I guess this post also is in relation to coming out to friends. I have come out to two of my friends, but none of my other friends yet. Does anyone have any suggestions for coming out to friends that you aren't super close with, but still hang out with on a semi-regular basis?
This post feels kind of long winded and I think I may have started to ramble. Sorry.
I work on campus right now, at a rock climbing gym and I assist with outdoor classes. I am friends with the entire staff (with the exception of one person). What is the best way to tell people at work. Should I start with my bosses, and then send out an email to the other employees? I am kind of lost on how to handle telling these people. I am pretty sure that my bosses will be ok with it, and that most of the people I work with will also be ok with it. How have some of you come out at work? What do you think is the best way going about it?
I guess this post also is in relation to coming out to friends. I have come out to two of my friends, but none of my other friends yet. Does anyone have any suggestions for coming out to friends that you aren't super close with, but still hang out with on a semi-regular basis?
This post feels kind of long winded and I think I may have started to ramble. Sorry.
Title: Re: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: Cindy on March 10, 2009, 03:14:21 AM
Post by: Cindy on March 10, 2009, 03:14:21 AM
Hi,
I've come out to most of my friends and some of my students. (I'm an Assoc Prof in a teaching Hospital). No problems so far, but there are some real jerks out there. My family has been no problem. But I can't live full time at work too many people will bye pass me in allocating work. You are a lot younger and can establish a Med career as a women. Unless you live in a fundamentalist area of any sort friends to take it well.
If I may suggest a possible speaciality; try proctology, at least you'll get back at the ->-bleeped-<-s in society ;D. Meant to be funny ??? ???
Love and Best Wishes
Cindy James
Cindy James
I've come out to most of my friends and some of my students. (I'm an Assoc Prof in a teaching Hospital). No problems so far, but there are some real jerks out there. My family has been no problem. But I can't live full time at work too many people will bye pass me in allocating work. You are a lot younger and can establish a Med career as a women. Unless you live in a fundamentalist area of any sort friends to take it well.
If I may suggest a possible speaciality; try proctology, at least you'll get back at the ->-bleeped-<-s in society ;D. Meant to be funny ??? ???
Love and Best Wishes
Cindy James
Cindy James
Title: Re: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: sneakersjay on March 10, 2009, 10:36:04 AM
Post by: sneakersjay on March 10, 2009, 10:36:04 AM
I came out at work last October and they made the announcement in November. I'd go to your HR people; if you don't have them then your supervisor/manager. I put together a packet of info I gleaned from here and other places on the 'net regarding coming out at work (basic info on transsexualism, a personal letter, my state's law regarding trans people and non-discrimination, etc) and made mention of the physical changes, my legal name change, and the request for them to use male pronouns.
It was a non-event mostly and other than the occasional pronoun slipup I've had no issues with any coworkers regarding transition. Good luck!
Jay
It was a non-event mostly and other than the occasional pronoun slipup I've had no issues with any coworkers regarding transition. Good luck!
Jay
Title: Re: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: Wendy C on March 10, 2009, 06:32:10 PM
Post by: Wendy C on March 10, 2009, 06:32:10 PM
Hi Valerie, I think Jay pretty much summed it up. I just went FT last month and basically contacted my HR and also told my supervisor in a very heart to heart talk. I had all the materials I also gleaned from others and varius sites ready for my meeting with HR and was caught off guard when the HR director called an impromtu meeting that had all my materials at home and not at work with me. So I just just did my best and things went remakably well.
Although my coworkers had been guessing for a year period because of the hormonal, hair and slight attire changes, I did wait until the day after my name change to have a meeting with them. That way there was no mistaking that Wendy was no longer David and that I was to be refered to in the appropriate gender as a female.
It for me has been everything I dreamed of and I believe that my past raport with the other staff has benifited me greatly. I hope your comming out will be every bit as gratifying and comfortable as mine has been. Good luck and Hugs
Wendy
Although my coworkers had been guessing for a year period because of the hormonal, hair and slight attire changes, I did wait until the day after my name change to have a meeting with them. That way there was no mistaking that Wendy was no longer David and that I was to be refered to in the appropriate gender as a female.
It for me has been everything I dreamed of and I believe that my past raport with the other staff has benifited me greatly. I hope your comming out will be every bit as gratifying and comfortable as mine has been. Good luck and Hugs
Wendy
Title: Re: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: Randy on March 17, 2009, 10:28:25 AM
Post by: Randy on March 17, 2009, 10:28:25 AM
My coming out at work went pretty smoothly. I waited until I had set the name change process in motion. At that point I had already been on T for a few months, but hadn't found a good way to just go up to them and tell them I preferred male pronouns... Bringing up the name change helped to legitimize it a bit. I talked to some supervisors briefly about it, and then it sort of trickled down. I'm passing pretty well, so everyone who doesn't know my full name sees me as male, and my other co-workers are actually remembering remarkably well. :)
Title: Re: Coming out at work. Help.
Post by: Steph on March 17, 2009, 10:50:32 AM
Post by: Steph on March 17, 2009, 10:50:32 AM
Quote from: Valerie Elizabeth on March 09, 2009, 10:57:06 PM
So, recently I started HRT. Right now, my plans are to go full time starting during the summer, maybe in the fall with the beginning of the school year. I am also looking at the possibility of FFS around August, but that is not set in stone. Just a thought because I know I will get some facial changes with HRT. I feel like I need to come out at work before I go full time because I plan on changing my name soon. With work, I assist on outdoor trips (hiking, climbing, camping, etc) which tend to get a little personal, and make it really hard to hide anything. I will be in my last year of school here before med school. I want to get the transition done before med school.
I work on campus right now, at a rock climbing gym and I assist with outdoor classes. I am friends with the entire staff (with the exception of one person). What is the best way to tell people at work. Should I start with my bosses, and then send out an email to the other employees? I am kind of lost on how to handle telling these people. I am pretty sure that my bosses will be ok with it, and that most of the people I work with will also be ok with it. How have some of you come out at work? What do you think is the best way going about it?
I guess this post also is in relation to coming out to friends. I have come out to two of my friends, but none of my other friends yet. Does anyone have any suggestions for coming out to friends that you aren't super close with, but still hang out with on a semi-regular basis?
This post feels kind of long winded and I think I may have started to ramble. Sorry.
If you haven't already done so you may want to look at the articles dealing with "Coming Out" in our Wiki. You can find them here:
https://www.susans.org/wiki/The_Closet (https://www.susans.org/wiki/The_Closet)
It contains guide to:
Coming out at the Workplace; Coming out to friends; and Coming out to family.
Stephanie