Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I wrote this in a dating site forum, but thought it would apply here also.

I have written a few guys that say they want a relationship and never so much as got a reply. Others I gave my number to and they never called. I know I'm no beauty queen! lol But I don't see myself as ugly.

From the looks of it I'm not alone here trying to find a guy.

What is it that they want? The young model type bombshells? Hey, I understand if someone doesn't feel attracted to me, but don't ignore me.

I, like many of the other girls here seem to have a lot too offer as far as long term relationships go.

Back in the year 2000 I didn't know I was a girl, though my life was torture wanting to be one. I knew even then the odds of finding a straight guy would be next to impossible! I shoved my feelings under the rug for seven years then they came back with violent force in 2008. That's when I started to read about transexuals. It was by accident that I tripped on a site that talks about what a tsgirl feels. It was then that my mind made the connection that I already am a girl! I always new I felt like and wanted to be a girl, I just never made the connection that I already am.

With that said, it renewed my interest in finding a straight guy and pursuing my transition!
I read that guys like tsgirls because they embody the best of what a genetic woman has without the hangups and we're more feminine. HEY! That's me!

Instead, I'm confronted with a lot of porn, players and perverts. I hope my account is not deleted for my candor. I'm not saying all men are like this, but if you talk to some that say they're respectable, they're not. To top it off, I offered help in a few forums as far as fighting for rights and asking what I can do for the ts community and get little to no response! Hey look, if no one cares I'll leave it alone and fight for myself. I said in a blog that I'm beginning to think being "bold" is a sin as far as the ts community goes, sort of feeling like an outcast on many sites that I'm leaving and will soon be leaving. I've been on my own my whole life with this and had no support. It seems the remainder of my life will be spent in the same manner.

I'm finding I'm back to where I was in 2000 as far as guys go, it's next to impossible to find a good guy that will love me for me. I'm not bitter though! I'm happy that I found myself and learned so much along the way.

I guess my question is, am I just conning myself that there are guys that look at the heart and soul rather than the parts you have, your age or whatever?
I'm one of the most self observant people in the world, I think I may tweak my mind a bit to go ahead and continue with my transition, but take the need for a man out of the picture...

Most heterosexual women feel the same about men, even my counsellor was moaning to me about men just two hours ago! It's perfectly normal.

When they say all good guys are either gay or taken, it's true.

Most guys all start off the same, in raw form, they just want a warm moist hole. They mostly only date for this reason. The trick is to find one that seems decent enough, then slowly make them into a man and want to be in a relationship. You don't simply find this guy unless you steal him.

I've said it many many times before....

Not a day goes by I don't thank God for making me a lesbian.

There are some good men out there it's not just a myth, but they seem to be few and far between unfortunately for those of you looking for one.

Men tend to be, by nature, more sexual beings.  As in, they put a lot more thought into getting sex rather than building a strong  bond with a single person.  Biologist would say it is their innate need to spread their seed around to as many women as possible to insure their genes are past on to the next generation.   Thus the "need" for sex in most men

Pizza. Guys want pizza.

Hell, I want pizza!!!!!! ;D ;D

SEX

as my grandmother would say: there's a lid for every pot.
there's someone for everyone.
ironically, you never find that person while you're trying.



i agree, though.
pizza and sex are pretty high on the priorities list.
but intelligence doesn't hurt.
nor does a nice rack. ;D

Different people have different needs, no one group is all alike.  And those needs, wants and desires change over time, what I look for now is almost the exact opposite of what I was looking for in my early 20s.  Though neither list is, or was, based on sex alone, I know the one now is much more detailed, much more exacting. 

Hope that i wont get much heat for this , but ..
I haven't seen many men that would say no to Claudia Schiffer or an equivalent before they turn 80yo , so you know what i think they always want.  On the other hand i haven't seen many women that would say no to a handsome billionaire that will treat them and their kids like royalty even if he is a smack in every other aspect . Biological programming i think, but it can be fooled easily by one thing only. Love.

I'd say no to the handsome billionaire no matter how he treated me... okay, well, I might drain his money first by making him think he had a chance with me.   >:-) >:-)

Sex, food, and lots of toys.  :P

kidding. I dunno. I've been thinking that myself.

Well, I don't know about other guys, but I'd want someone loyal, honest and loving.

Quote from: Monty on March 26, 2009, 11:42:19 PM
Well, I don't know about other guys, but I'd want someone loyal, honest and loving.

Agreed.  I don't care how beautiful on the outside she is if she's totally ugly on the inside.

I totally disagree on the subject of guys. I'm not going to speak for myself because I know I'm not a typical guy, but the guys I've dated have all been sweet, caring, and ready for commitment. And I don't think it's just gay guys, either. Maybe I just look in the right places -- I'm a student, and this might help.

My advice is to stay away from the internet and/or bars. It's possible that the reason you've been meeting jerks is that you're looking in places where creeps tend to congregate. Guys that go out for the sole purpose of picking up women generally don't have your best interest at heart. It's better to meet guys in places that aren't solely about picking people up or having sex. Social events, book clubs, colleges, etc. might give you a fighting chance at picking up a non-loser.

Sorry, I just re-read what I wrote, it was meant to be tongue in cheek with a little truth thrown in.

Being the ever so subtle creatures that they are, not, I'd have had to be pretty dim witted not to work out what guys seem to want from me, their problem is that I'm just not prepared to offer it.

Many guys will modify what they want in order to get to their ultimate goal. They don't really lie. It's not the whole truth. Things like, your the most attractive woman I know. I love for your inner self, etc.

hey maybe we should make a perfume that smells like pizza  :laugh:

and guys should wear cologne that smells like money..  ;D

THIS: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29897277/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29897277/)


8)

Quote from: FairyGirl on March 27, 2009, 08:57:56 AM
hey maybe we should make a perfume that smells like pizza  :laugh:

Then you have to check this out: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3797892/Burger-King-releases-meat-scented-cologne.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3797892/Burger-King-releases-meat-scented-cologne.html)

Who wouldnt go for someone who smelled like char-broiled beef? :P

Quote from: Andrew on March 27, 2009, 05:26:04 PM
Then you have to check this out: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3797892/Burger-King-releases-meat-scented-cologne.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3797892/Burger-King-releases-meat-scented-cologne.html)

Who wouldnt go for someone who smelled like char-broiled beef? :P

how gross. :P
maybe i'm just biased because i'm a vegetarian / abhor meat, but that's just... odd.

Right now I really just want sex. Thank you, 4 more weeks of testosterone shots.

That song is so much better when Manson sings it.   ;D

Quote from: Julie Wilson on April 02, 2009, 02:48:54 PM
I would suggest that if you really want to find a man who will love you for who you are inside that you get outside, participate and meet people in person, avoid bars and booze.  For most of us life is like the Battlestar Galactica series..  You struggle all your life only to end up dead.  Find the good in every moment and cherish it.

This, this, infinitely this. Definitely avoid bars and booze. A lot of men see booze as an opening.It's strange how open they can be about some rather despicable and predatory sexual habits. But regardless of that...

I've met several very great guys who, if I were into guys (and I may be one day), I'd not hesitate at all in dating. Hey, I talk to three of these guys on a daily basis, and they're straight... and not judgmental at all. So there are guys out there, they just have to get to know you.

I'm still glad to be a lesbian.  Not that women are any less complicating..  Probably more so actually.

I to would avoid bars and the such if I were so inclined to be looking for a guy. (though I don't see that happening)  Not that you couldn't stumble across a decent guy there, but the odds are not with you.  I'd look somewhere else, like..... I dunno, I'm not sure where guys hang out actually.  lol

Re: what do guys really want???

someone who makes us want to be a better man.

Quote from: Ashley315 on April 02, 2009, 11:20:28 PM
I'm still glad to be a lesbian.  Not that women are any less complicating..  Probably more so actually.

I to would avoid bars and the such if I were so inclined to be looking for a guy. (though I don't see that happening)  Not that you couldn't stumble across a decent guy there, but the odds are not with you.  I'd look somewhere else, like..... I dunno, I'm not sure where guys hang out actually.  lol

1) Me too. I hope it doesn't change when I start HRT like I hear it does for some. But I don't think it will.

2) I'm sure you can find some decent quiet types at the library.

Quote from: Nero on April 03, 2009, 02:12:05 AM
Re: what do guys really want???

someone who makes us want to be a better man.

This is beautiful, Nero. So it's not just a line some guys (not you) use? I have heard this from every guy I ever dated (or even almost dated). And none of them wanted sex from me. They seemed to think I was not to be "sullied" or something.

I mentioned to a friend how many times I've been told this, and she laughed at me. She said, "I love you to death, but you've never made me want to be a better person." It made me wonder if it was just a line they used, but I couldn't figure out what purpose it would serve if they weren't trying to get something from me.

Quote from: Ashley315 on April 02, 2009, 03:56:59 PM
That song is so much better when Manson sings it.   ;D

Blates.

I like to think that different men want different things, you know.

I think most men want something similar to what they are.  A person of equal education, income, background and all that, particularly when they are young. 

Quote from: Nero on April 03, 2009, 02:12:05 AM
Re: what do guys really want???

someone who makes us want to be a better man.

Great line :) And I do believe you when you say it BTW.

Trouble is when most men say that their motivation isn't exactly the right one!

Men tend to be like snowflakes, each snow flake is distinctly different and beautiful but they are all made of ice water and they all want to land on top of you and then evaporate :)

But I am generalizing and I am talking about men who were born with penises and testicles, whom had the full testosterone levels present during the typical times, etc.

My experience and the experience of other women (typically) is that men don't get better after you have sex with or marry them, they tend to relax and to not try as hard.  The trying harder to be a better man tends to be part of the courtship, not part of the relationship.

Quote from: Julie Wilson on April 03, 2009, 11:55:05 AM
Men tend to be like snowflakes, each snow flake is distinctly different and beautiful but they are all made of ice water and they all want to land on top of you and then evaporate :)

But I am generalizing and I am talking about men who were born with penises and testicles, whom had the full testosterone levels present during the typical times, etc.

My experience and the experience of other women (typically) is that men don't get better after you have sex with or marry them, they tend to relax and to not try as hard.  The trying harder to be a better man tends to be part of the courtship, not part of the relationship.

My experience too, that's why I stick to women now.

Okay, lets not turn this into man bashing hour please..  There really are some good men out there.

I really hope I don't have to turn in my lesbian pride badge since I just defended men.  :D

My wants are simple.
I want to be comfortable and content.
That is all.

I think most people want to be comfortable and content, the problem just is that we have different things we need in order to feel comfortable and content.

Asked my brother.
He wants money, sex, drugs(weed), and da beach where he can just have a laid back time. LOL.

I want someone who stimulates my mind and body.

Quote from: Jake Grimm on April 03, 2009, 05:11:58 PM
Asked my brother.
He wants money, sex, drugs(weed), and da beach where he can just have a laid back time. LOL.

that used to be me minus the beach, but i find i want so much more now.