Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: Mazzle on April 04, 2009, 10:06:42 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: Mazzle on April 04, 2009, 10:06:42 PM
Post by: Mazzle on April 04, 2009, 10:06:42 PM
Hi all, I thought I would introduce myself on here...
My mother told myself and my brother a few years back that she wants to become FTM. Although we were both shocked, we generally accepted this and went on with our lives. Recently Mum had the chest surgery and this week starts on hormone injections.What was most shocking to me is that she has always known what she wanted, what she needed to do for her own happiness, but put it off for so so many years, so as not to upset the family.
I could not be more proud of my Mum...She has been so selfless in putting her life on hold for us, that now it is our turn to be there for her. As long as she is happy, I am happy. Whilst there have been some negative responses from certain close-minded family members, our immediate family is with her 100% (her husband is staying with her too!)
While I am completely behind her on this, I still occasionally have days where it's all a bit hard to deal with, and days where I feel a little down thinking about all the things that will change...so I was hoping coming on this forum will help me work through my issues without having to burden my mum with them!
By the way, I am aware that use of fem/masc pronouns is a sensitive issue...for the record, I currently live quite far away from my parents, but I will be moving back to my hometown in 3 months time. Mum and I made the decision that once I move back home, we will make a clean switch and I can start referring to her as 'he' and her chosen name, Ben :)
That's all from me right now...I really look forward to getting to know you all and hearing your stories
maz xxx
My mother told myself and my brother a few years back that she wants to become FTM. Although we were both shocked, we generally accepted this and went on with our lives. Recently Mum had the chest surgery and this week starts on hormone injections.What was most shocking to me is that she has always known what she wanted, what she needed to do for her own happiness, but put it off for so so many years, so as not to upset the family.
I could not be more proud of my Mum...She has been so selfless in putting her life on hold for us, that now it is our turn to be there for her. As long as she is happy, I am happy. Whilst there have been some negative responses from certain close-minded family members, our immediate family is with her 100% (her husband is staying with her too!)
While I am completely behind her on this, I still occasionally have days where it's all a bit hard to deal with, and days where I feel a little down thinking about all the things that will change...so I was hoping coming on this forum will help me work through my issues without having to burden my mum with them!
By the way, I am aware that use of fem/masc pronouns is a sensitive issue...for the record, I currently live quite far away from my parents, but I will be moving back to my hometown in 3 months time. Mum and I made the decision that once I move back home, we will make a clean switch and I can start referring to her as 'he' and her chosen name, Ben :)
That's all from me right now...I really look forward to getting to know you all and hearing your stories
maz xxx
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: Cindy on April 05, 2009, 02:42:51 AM
Post by: Cindy on April 05, 2009, 02:42:51 AM
Dear Maz
What a wonderful daughter you are for both your mother and his decisions.
Accepting a parent change in sexuality is very hard. The horror TG people go through and their attempts to be "nomal" is legend on this site. However it sounds that you have two wonderful parents and a loving and caring family. I do have some counsel for you. If you find the situation preying on your mind and feeling a bit low, talk to a doctor and ask her/him if you are showing signs of depression. Depression can exist in many ways and is treatable quite easily, in your circumstances.
Do be aware that situations might change. And be ready to face the challanges.
I wish you all the best and love and support
Cindy James
What a wonderful daughter you are for both your mother and his decisions.
Accepting a parent change in sexuality is very hard. The horror TG people go through and their attempts to be "nomal" is legend on this site. However it sounds that you have two wonderful parents and a loving and caring family. I do have some counsel for you. If you find the situation preying on your mind and feeling a bit low, talk to a doctor and ask her/him if you are showing signs of depression. Depression can exist in many ways and is treatable quite easily, in your circumstances.
Do be aware that situations might change. And be ready to face the challanges.
I wish you all the best and love and support
Cindy James
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: K8 on April 05, 2009, 07:28:09 AM
Post by: K8 on April 05, 2009, 07:28:09 AM
Hi Maz,
It's wonderful that your mum can finally be Ben and be accepted by his loving family. It is normal for you to be a little confused, Maz. Our language doesn't have the words for what your mum is doing. The pronouns are difficult because they assume an unchangeable binary of gender, which doesn't really exist.
I am MtF. My grown daughter is very supportive but asked if she could still call me Papa. I'm OK with that, but we don't live in the same town and I'm not living fulltime yet.
The point is, I think, that we are still the same people. Your mum will still be your mum and will just be a happier, more fulfilled version of the person you've always loved.
- Kate
It's wonderful that your mum can finally be Ben and be accepted by his loving family. It is normal for you to be a little confused, Maz. Our language doesn't have the words for what your mum is doing. The pronouns are difficult because they assume an unchangeable binary of gender, which doesn't really exist.
I am MtF. My grown daughter is very supportive but asked if she could still call me Papa. I'm OK with that, but we don't live in the same town and I'm not living fulltime yet.
The point is, I think, that we are still the same people. Your mum will still be your mum and will just be a happier, more fulfilled version of the person you've always loved.
- Kate
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: Janet_Girl on April 05, 2009, 08:48:19 AM
Post by: Janet_Girl on April 05, 2009, 08:48:19 AM
Hi Mazzie, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 2100 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another SO. :icon_hug:
And you may find that it comes easy to you, Because you are a caring daughter.
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 2100 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion. Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another SO. :icon_hug:
And you may find that it comes easy to you, Because you are a caring daughter.
Janet
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: imaz on April 05, 2009, 08:58:30 AM
Post by: imaz on April 05, 2009, 08:58:30 AM
Welcome Mazzie, both you and your parents sound cool.
People are people at the end of the day and gender is just a part of that. I have a son who is fine with me despite having had big issues with it to begin with.
Wish you and your family all the best. :)
People are people at the end of the day and gender is just a part of that. I have a son who is fine with me despite having had big issues with it to begin with.
Wish you and your family all the best. :)
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: gennee on April 05, 2009, 04:16:56 PM
Post by: gennee on April 05, 2009, 04:16:56 PM
Welcome to the site, Mazzle. I applaud you and your parents. You make us feel so proud. Cindy's advice is good. There will be some let down (which is natural). See a professional if you or your folks are grappling with depression. I wish you all the best.
Gennee
:)
Gennee
:)
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: paulault55 on April 05, 2009, 06:05:04 PM
Post by: paulault55 on April 05, 2009, 06:05:04 PM
Hi Maz and welcome, i assume you and your brother are grown. It's great that you and your family are supportive, Mum as you call her has always been a man all these years, and yes he, which is the correct pronoun to use now, has struggled with this all his life and sacrificed a great deal over the years. Although I'm MtF and 57 years old can relate because i too struggled with it all my life.
HUGS
Paula.
HUGS
Paula.
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: twospirits on April 05, 2009, 06:50:14 PM
Post by: twospirits on April 05, 2009, 06:50:14 PM
Hi Mazzle
For sure you are a wonderfull person.
Best wishes to you and your family.
For sure you are a wonderfull person.
Best wishes to you and your family.
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: Ms.Behavin on April 05, 2009, 10:46:11 PM
Post by: Ms.Behavin on April 05, 2009, 10:46:11 PM
Hi Mazzle,
It's quite understandable to sometimes be freeked out by all the changed your mother is going through. It's not easy for your mother either and he will need your support.
It was not always easy for my children either (I'm MtF), but They see that I'm far happier as my true self, yet still very much there for them. We're all in this together so please feel free to ask questions, rant, etc as you please.
take care
Beni
It's quite understandable to sometimes be freeked out by all the changed your mother is going through. It's not easy for your mother either and he will need your support.
It was not always easy for my children either (I'm MtF), but They see that I'm far happier as my true self, yet still very much there for them. We're all in this together so please feel free to ask questions, rant, etc as you please.
take care
Beni
Title: Re: Hi all - daughter of FTM here :)
Post by: Jay on April 06, 2009, 03:22:52 AM
Post by: Jay on April 06, 2009, 03:22:52 AM
Hi Maz,
Welcome To Susans :)
Its so nice to hear how you are supporting your mother "Ben" ;)
Jay
Welcome To Susans :)
Its so nice to hear how you are supporting your mother "Ben" ;)
Jay