Susan's Place Transgender Resources

is there anyone on here that has ocd unwanted thoughts. i remember someone telling me that they get overwhelmed by crossdressing thoughts, and i have the same problem

OCD as in obsessive compulsive disorder?

yes

I used to have OCD, not sure how thats related to crossdressing though, other than alphabetical coincidence

I skirt around the fringes of OCD.  Nothing to do with my gender or sexuality, though.

Quote from: TamTam on April 11, 2009, 07:41:56 PM
I skirt around the fringes of OCD.  Nothing to do with my gender or sexuality, though.

Mine is obliquely related -- my... genital dysphoria manifests as feeling like the area is always dirty, even if I just showered etc, so if I touch it, then anything else I touch after that becomes 'dirty' and I react to that 'dirt' in the typical OCD way.  The more I envision myself as female though, the less I feel that the area is 'dirty'.  Kinda weird.

i can't imagine femenine women dressing like men, or masculine men dressing like women. i feel like i'm ruining them

Quote from: Princess on April 11, 2009, 07:52:04 PM
i can't imagine femenine women dressing like men, or masculine men dressing like women. i feel like i'm ruining them

I don't understand -- how are you 'ruining' them?

Quote from: Vesper on April 11, 2009, 07:59:46 PM
I don't understand -- how are you 'ruining' them?

thats just the way i think.

Quote from: Princess on April 11, 2009, 08:01:33 PM
thats just the way i think.

No i just dont understand what you mean by the sentence?

Quote from: Vesper on April 11, 2009, 08:36:10 PM
No i just dont understand what you mean by the sentence?

i think i ruined a femenine woman by those thoughts. i admire femeninity, and i can't allow those thoughts. it mainly revolves around that, but other things go on.

Princess:

OCD has many forms.  All habits if taken to extreme can be disruptive.

If you aren't seeing a therapist now, perhaps you should.  Your issues of being Obsessive Compulsive may not go away even if you become more comfortable with your cross dressing issues.  It may just switch to something else.

-Sandy

The TV volume has to be on an even number, otherwise I can't concentrate enough to watch the program.

Right sock, then left sock... and yet it's left shoe, then right shoe... hmm...

I also have to check everything, particularly locks on doors.
I also tend to immaculately pack a suitcase, and then haul everything back out just to check for one thing I'm not sure is in there... it always is... and I never put any effort into re-packing, just goes in a big crumpled pile.

I really don't have the cleanliness thing though, or anything that relates to gender in any way that I'm aware of.

I have several OCD tendencies. I work hard at controlling them.

I used to be pretty badly obsessive, with strange patterns always imposing themselves. Everything had to be balanced, so something like folding my hands was irritating (because folding your hands breaks the left-right symmetry of the human body; either the left thumb is on top, or the right). I still have a lot of these tendencies -- just typing this, I have a compulsion to have my fingers rest in a particular symmetric way when I'm not typing a word.

This obsession with symmetry (as I would describe it) has actually been very helpful for things like programming (I never forget a semicolon, and my formatting and naming conventions are immaculate; I write the most readable code of anybody I know) and math (I never drop a negative sign or power of i).

It's a lot less intrusive on my thought process than it was when I was little, and I have come to deeply appreciate broken symmetries -- in fact, I've come to think that much of what we think of as beauty comes from symmetry breaking, whether in music or art or architecture or the natural environment -- or in quantum field theory! Perfect symmetries are trivial, but broken symmetries  are endlessly intriguing.

I do the even number volume thing when I notice, but I won't check if I haven't changed it.

I used to be really bad, somethings had to be odd (number of times washing hands), while some things had to be even (if I brushed my hair out of my eyes with my left hand I had to do it again with my right hand, and if I didn't do it in the same way I had to do it again in the same way, but then do the imperfect way again with my right hand to make it balanced, etc etc if I messed up, it got pretty complex sometimes).

It was pretty bad, and one day (in the middle of a cross country bike trip) I said F*** it and stopped.  Mostly.

I think its also a matter of life status... back then I didn't really do much of anything so my mind kind of occupied itself with all the meaningless counting and balancing.  Now that I've got crap to do every day, I have less time to muck around being OCD about stupid crap.

I have Social Anxiety via OCD, but I don't think it relates to my CD/TG issues.