Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Kim on August 30, 2006, 09:40:29 AM Return to Full Version
Title: Finally Some Peace of Knowledge
Post by: Kim on August 30, 2006, 09:40:29 AM
Post by: Kim on August 30, 2006, 09:40:29 AM
I have read time and again posts form other TS' about how they knew since single digit ages of thir true selves. I know I am definitely TS but as I said in other posts a trauma left me without this bit of knowledge in my life as I mentally blocked my life from around age 16 back. Even my counsellor couldn't open my locked box, though he tried to the point I think he needed counselling!!lol
I talked to my mom and by applying a bit of trickery on her as one needs to catch her off guard, she let it slipped that on at least 2 occassions around age 7 or 8 she and my Dad caught me dressed and punished me. I know this may seem trivial but it was just a tid-bit I always wondered about and wish I knew. Since finding this out my wife and I have been filling in some blanks of things that happened in my life that I can remember and things make sense. I guess the biggest part I regret is that since I blocked my TSism and my past away inside me after my trauma and tried hard to keep it locked away (though I didn't know I was TS at that time for sure) that I shorted out my wife on giving her a proper choice before we married. But then maybe things happen for a reason we don't understand and this is just another mystery and it worked out great for us. I'm dreaming up more ways to get my mom to slip up more of my past so I can finish my puzzle, though embracing the woman I really am after all this time and living in the spotlight of accepting it is the greatest feeling now. My wife teases me in this manipulation of mom, but as we say we are finally getting the answers she won't tell otherwise (my Dad passed on so this is only option left since my brother won't talk either). It's just good to know this has been a part of my entire life.
I talked to my mom and by applying a bit of trickery on her as one needs to catch her off guard, she let it slipped that on at least 2 occassions around age 7 or 8 she and my Dad caught me dressed and punished me. I know this may seem trivial but it was just a tid-bit I always wondered about and wish I knew. Since finding this out my wife and I have been filling in some blanks of things that happened in my life that I can remember and things make sense. I guess the biggest part I regret is that since I blocked my TSism and my past away inside me after my trauma and tried hard to keep it locked away (though I didn't know I was TS at that time for sure) that I shorted out my wife on giving her a proper choice before we married. But then maybe things happen for a reason we don't understand and this is just another mystery and it worked out great for us. I'm dreaming up more ways to get my mom to slip up more of my past so I can finish my puzzle, though embracing the woman I really am after all this time and living in the spotlight of accepting it is the greatest feeling now. My wife teases me in this manipulation of mom, but as we say we are finally getting the answers she won't tell otherwise (my Dad passed on so this is only option left since my brother won't talk either). It's just good to know this has been a part of my entire life.
Title: Re: Finally Some Peace of Knowledge
Post by: Chaunte on August 30, 2006, 09:15:11 PM
Post by: Chaunte on August 30, 2006, 09:15:11 PM
Kim,
Peace of mind and peace of knowledge are wonderful things. I am really happy for you.
THe admissions by your mother are far from trivial. On the contrary, they are wondeful moments to help pry the lid off your box! I wish you discovery.
Chaunte
Peace of mind and peace of knowledge are wonderful things. I am really happy for you.
THe admissions by your mother are far from trivial. On the contrary, they are wondeful moments to help pry the lid off your box! I wish you discovery.
Chaunte
Title: Re: Finally Some Peace of Knowledge
Post by: sheila18 on September 08, 2006, 01:06:25 AM
Post by: sheila18 on September 08, 2006, 01:06:25 AM
kim:
I read your post several times and had a hard time relating to it until i came across : "that I shorted out my wife on giving her a proper choice before we married. ... But then maybe things happen for a reason we don't understand and this is just another mystery and it worked out great for us."
I felt that way with my first and only wife.
Kim thank you for your post, You have helped put another peice of the puzzle in my life on that is small but comes up often.
I have been reluctant to get married and I never have known why but your wordds sure resonate.
I am mostly by far atracted to women and I sure hate to put them through hell.
My mother is also one who won't talk about my not so straight as an arrow tendencies and i know she knows.
love no matter what, sheila18
I read your post several times and had a hard time relating to it until i came across : "that I shorted out my wife on giving her a proper choice before we married. ... But then maybe things happen for a reason we don't understand and this is just another mystery and it worked out great for us."
I felt that way with my first and only wife.
Kim thank you for your post, You have helped put another peice of the puzzle in my life on that is small but comes up often.
I have been reluctant to get married and I never have known why but your wordds sure resonate.
I am mostly by far atracted to women and I sure hate to put them through hell.
My mother is also one who won't talk about my not so straight as an arrow tendencies and i know she knows.
love no matter what, sheila18