Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: stacyB on May 07, 2009, 01:19:37 AM Return to Full Version
Title: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: stacyB on May 07, 2009, 01:19:37 AM
Post by: stacyB on May 07, 2009, 01:19:37 AM
To start with, it almost seems a bit surreal being back on this side of the introduction posts... so used to starting with:
Hi {fill in name here}, welcome to the forum! ;D etc... but i think this intro will be different than those I written in the past...
To start with I knew I was different since I could remember (at least age 5) and while I didnt know how to handle the overwhelming feelings I did my best to cope with a world I didnt understand. Been dressing since age 9, but by teen years dressing didnt help fill the empty feeling. Information was difficult to come by (late 70s, early 80s) and the best source of information was from a local rag only read by the hip, the outcasts and of anyone else who fell through the cracks.
Was out and about in my college years, but on a spiraling downward path. I thought I was not normal, damaged... there was little real information then, no internet, no guidance for hormones and told transitioning was done in far away places by backroom doctors. Bad experience with the wrong therapist telling me I was sick for dressing and feeling trapped in the wrong body lead to almost disasterous consequences.
Did the purge and decided to be "normal" (whatever that is). Finished school with an engineering degree, moved halfway across the country, got married and a job. That didnt last long, now divorced over 10 years with a teenage son who knows nothing of Stacy.
It was post divorce that I re-emerged again only stronger than ever. I knew I could not continue on status quo. It wasnt until a couple years ago that I discovered other forums, and found I was not alone. It helped me to finally come to grips with who I am, and have since been out again and told a few close friends. Also made quite a few more on the sites. But as the TG forums there crumbled it didnt take long to realize that I had outgrown these places... and again felt that same feeling of being on the outside. I had gone as far as I could there, and to continue to grow needed a change.
Was a goodbye post by one of the last remaining post-op members there that suggested this place... and so here I am. I already recognize more than a few members here, and likely they will recognize me. I dont know what the next leg of this journey holds in store... I hope to both find answers.. and equally important... be able to help others at the same time.
I can tell
Theres no more time left to criticize
Ive seen what I could not recognize
Everthing in my life was leading me on
But I can be strong
-Stacy
Hi {fill in name here}, welcome to the forum! ;D etc... but i think this intro will be different than those I written in the past...
To start with I knew I was different since I could remember (at least age 5) and while I didnt know how to handle the overwhelming feelings I did my best to cope with a world I didnt understand. Been dressing since age 9, but by teen years dressing didnt help fill the empty feeling. Information was difficult to come by (late 70s, early 80s) and the best source of information was from a local rag only read by the hip, the outcasts and of anyone else who fell through the cracks.
Was out and about in my college years, but on a spiraling downward path. I thought I was not normal, damaged... there was little real information then, no internet, no guidance for hormones and told transitioning was done in far away places by backroom doctors. Bad experience with the wrong therapist telling me I was sick for dressing and feeling trapped in the wrong body lead to almost disasterous consequences.
Did the purge and decided to be "normal" (whatever that is). Finished school with an engineering degree, moved halfway across the country, got married and a job. That didnt last long, now divorced over 10 years with a teenage son who knows nothing of Stacy.
It was post divorce that I re-emerged again only stronger than ever. I knew I could not continue on status quo. It wasnt until a couple years ago that I discovered other forums, and found I was not alone. It helped me to finally come to grips with who I am, and have since been out again and told a few close friends. Also made quite a few more on the sites. But as the TG forums there crumbled it didnt take long to realize that I had outgrown these places... and again felt that same feeling of being on the outside. I had gone as far as I could there, and to continue to grow needed a change.
Was a goodbye post by one of the last remaining post-op members there that suggested this place... and so here I am. I already recognize more than a few members here, and likely they will recognize me. I dont know what the next leg of this journey holds in store... I hope to both find answers.. and equally important... be able to help others at the same time.
I can tell
Theres no more time left to criticize
Ive seen what I could not recognize
Everthing in my life was leading me on
But I can be strong
-Stacy
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: Cindy on May 07, 2009, 04:23:47 AM
Post by: Cindy on May 07, 2009, 04:23:47 AM
Hi Stacey
I'm pretty sure we haven't met. But we have walked the same path at times. SOoo welcome. To and aging Australian. Who is feeling her age this week with a horrible cold. Just a cold, I haven't kissed a pig since my last date.
:laugh:
Cindy James
I'm pretty sure we haven't met. But we have walked the same path at times. SOoo welcome. To and aging Australian. Who is feeling her age this week with a horrible cold. Just a cold, I haven't kissed a pig since my last date.
:laugh:
Cindy James
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: Sandy on May 07, 2009, 05:48:48 AM
Post by: Sandy on May 07, 2009, 05:48:48 AM
Stacy!
Welcome home, my sister!
It's great to see you! Check out the site rules and regs and post away. You'll find my blog in "Sandy's Transition".
You'll have to make fifteen posts before you will be able to PM anyone. But once you look around, and get your feet wet, I'm sure you won't have a problem being talkative with the rest of the girls and guys here!
Talk to you soon!
-Sandy
Welcome home, my sister!
It's great to see you! Check out the site rules and regs and post away. You'll find my blog in "Sandy's Transition".
You'll have to make fifteen posts before you will be able to PM anyone. But once you look around, and get your feet wet, I'm sure you won't have a problem being talkative with the rest of the girls and guys here!
Talk to you soon!
-Sandy
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: Genevieve Swann on May 07, 2009, 05:55:35 AM
Post by: Genevieve Swann on May 07, 2009, 05:55:35 AM
Hi Stacy and welcome. I can identify with the purging only to begin again later. After the last purge (involuntary) my need to dress became much stronger. Now I've come to accept who I really am and no one can change the true me. I'm very happy to have a new friend. Hugs, Genevieve.
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: paulault55 on May 07, 2009, 09:15:08 AM
Post by: paulault55 on May 07, 2009, 09:15:08 AM
Hello Stacy and welcome home, I'm 57 and purged many many times over the years but last year hit rock bottom and thanks to a wonderful therapist am now on my way to making the outside match the inside.
HUGS!
Paula
HUGS!
Paula
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: K8 on May 09, 2009, 06:58:04 AM
Post by: K8 on May 09, 2009, 06:58:04 AM
Hi, Stacy. Wlcome.
My story is much like yours except without the bad therapist, fortunately. I did go to the Johns Hopkins clinic in the mid-90s, hoping they would tell me either I was OK as a crossdresser or should look into transitioning. They were not helpful, puzzled why I was there if I wasn't destroying my life with drugs or alcohol. :P
Let us know how your journey goes.
- Kate
My story is much like yours except without the bad therapist, fortunately. I did go to the Johns Hopkins clinic in the mid-90s, hoping they would tell me either I was OK as a crossdresser or should look into transitioning. They were not helpful, puzzled why I was there if I wasn't destroying my life with drugs or alcohol. :P
Let us know how your journey goes.
- Kate
Title: Re: New here, but not new to this world, continuing on my journey
Post by: Wendy C on May 10, 2009, 11:26:14 AM
Post by: Wendy C on May 10, 2009, 11:26:14 AM
Hi Stacy, glad you found Susan's, I don't think it will be going away soon. You are not the only one that has had a lifetime of seeking and searching. Over thirty years of suppression after a failed attempt at transition in the 70's only to like you find the support sites later in life. It all finally came true and I now finally live as it should have been. I hope you finally find your path also. Hugs
~Wendy~
~Wendy~