Community Conversation => Non-binary talk => Topic started by: BlackRabbit on May 08, 2009, 04:52:24 PM Return to Full Version

Title: Need some social guidence.
Post by: BlackRabbit on May 08, 2009, 04:52:24 PM
Hey people, I haven't been on in forever. I got a job, and have been pretty busy with it. But I'm having this problem, and I think here's the best place to solve it, with the best advice.  ;) The mall/center where I work has a mtf named "Daisy" (I love that name.) she usually goes the center almost every day, there's alot of stuff to do here, the Cities biggest Library is in here and I've seen her in it a few times, and had small awkward chats with her. My boss told me how the government paid for her surgeries. (I'm not sure if it's just the top, or both.) I live in Canada BTW. How would one go about asking someone about something so personal when they barely know them? Everytime I see her in the library, I'm to chicken to ask. :< Last time I talked to her, the conversation just stopped with a pause, it was really awkward. I feel really nervous.  :embarrassed:
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Mister on May 08, 2009, 04:55:22 PM
At the very least, you need to tell her that your boss is freely distributing her medical information.
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Pica Pica on May 08, 2009, 04:58:00 PM
No idea I'm afraid, tend to do that kind of stuff by ear.

I spose calling out 'nice boobs, who paid for them' is out of the question.
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: BlackRabbit on May 08, 2009, 05:00:07 PM
Quote from: Mister on May 08, 2009, 04:55:22 PM
At the very least, you need to tell her that your boss is freely distributing her medical information.
Well my boss is a gossip so I think she probably knows about that.  :-\ But that would be a good place to start.

Post Merge: May 08, 2009, 05:03:13 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on May 08, 2009, 04:58:00 PM
No idea I'm afraid, tend to do that kind of stuff by ear.

I spose calling out 'nice boobs, who paid for them' is out of the question.
I lol'd. Yeah that would put me in the dog house. :D I just wanted to talk to her about it, you know, not that I want to be a man, I just don't want to look like a women. :< BTW I turned 18 today. :D I don't smoke or drink, so that doesn't matter, maybe I should go down to a sexshop, just for curiousity's sake.  :o
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Jaimey on May 08, 2009, 05:36:20 PM
Honestly, the easiest thing to do is to be direct.  I think she'll be a lot more comfortable telling you about her experience if she knows that you are in the same boat.  Just ask her if you can talk to her sometime and then explain your situation. 
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Pica Pica on May 08, 2009, 05:49:13 PM
happy birfday
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Jaimey on May 08, 2009, 05:55:37 PM
Oh yeah!  Happy Birthday!  I say celebrate with the sex shop.  Just be sure to take a shower afterword.  :P  If you don't feel dirty when you leave, it wasn't skeezy enough and you need to find another one.
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Pica Pica on May 08, 2009, 05:59:54 PM
i applied for a job in a soho sex shop
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: BlackRabbit on May 08, 2009, 09:25:48 PM
Quote from: Jaimey on May 08, 2009, 05:36:20 PM
Honestly, the easiest thing to do is to be direct.  I think she'll be a lot more comfortable telling you about her experience if she knows that you are in the same boat.  Just ask her if you can talk to her sometime and then explain your situation.
Yes, that sounds the most logical, I just have to kick the cowardly lion out of me. Thanks. :) Lulz Shower.

Post Merge: May 08, 2009, 09:26:32 PM

Quote from: Pica Pica on May 08, 2009, 05:49:13 PM
happy birfday
Thanks Pica. :D Do you think I should try getting a job there? If I find one that is. XD
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: noeleena on May 10, 2009, 05:28:02 AM
Hi... As an idear  i would write down those ??  that you have .  ask if she would mind having a talk with you .. if you write things down you dont for get what you wont to say . if she does then thats okay   if not then you know not to
   . for me i am out in the public.s eye    media 
    so yes i get asked as i am open its not a  problem  yet i know of a friend of mine who was put in a place like this . the lady concerned was very rude ...  so the time & place is some thing you need to be care full about .
she may of cause not be bothered at all . so a bit of tact  would be the best way . of going about your ??  for this lady .....  hope this helps 
     ...noeleena...
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Saraloop on May 10, 2009, 02:18:47 PM
I would just ask directly "Hey, I was wondering, are you comfortable talking about gender?" and maybe add that I'd be interested in discussing about such things. If she asks what kind of topics, then add 'transexuality'.

DON'T do like me, and ask "What are you", I got kicked out of a store for doing so. She followed with "Excuuuse you?" to then I added "I just mean your 'condition'" , which by my standards isn't rude, but I guess it was somehow rude enough to get me kicked out.. well, told to leave.
:-\
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Nicky on May 10, 2009, 04:00:01 PM
Unless they bring it up, I think it is rude to ask. There are so many transwomen out there who only want to fit in just as any other woman. I'm sure there are a lot that are happy to talk about it but some are not. For that reason I would just approach them as any other woman. Treat them as a person first.

If you are dying to talk about her experience, start by talking about your own and see if she reciprocates.
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Simone Louise on May 13, 2009, 10:01:18 AM
I found myself tongue tied this weekend, while participating in a Mother's Day peace rally. One of the other participants, who had long blondish hair and a beard, was topless for a while, exhibiting large pendulous breasts that bore the inscription: "Make boobs, not bombs".

Sometimes, I too need social guidance,
S
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Nicky on May 13, 2009, 04:14:47 PM
I think this is one occasion when it is ok to look Simone.  ;)
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Simone Louise on May 17, 2009, 12:06:51 PM
Quote from: Nicky on May 13, 2009, 04:14:47 PM
I think this is one occasion when it is ok to look Simone.  ;)

Looking was not the issue (and there are photos of this person and so online--fully clad). I am not adept at large gatherings and didn't know whether or how to introduce myself and make small talk or have a deep heart to heart with anybody there, including this person. So I sat on the ground, watched people, took a few photos, and listened, amused and annoyed by my own discomfort.

S
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Pica Pica on June 04, 2009, 09:52:14 AM
Make boobs not bombs - that the slogan of a new cosmetic surgery union?
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Autumn on June 07, 2009, 12:25:00 AM
Quote from: Pica Pica on June 04, 2009, 09:52:14 AM
Make boobs not bombs - that the slogan of a new cosmetic surgery union?

This really wrecks the whole 'blond bombshell' image.
Title: Re: Need some social guidence.
Post by: Cindy on June 07, 2009, 04:00:55 AM
Pica Pica
That's terrible. Made my day.
:laugh:

Thinking about Madonna's pointy ones, are they the eathbreaking type. So good, drop Madonna on Iran Nuclear Facility.
It's a joke

Cindy :laugh: