Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: K8 on May 12, 2009, 08:34:58 AM Return to Full Version
Title: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: K8 on May 12, 2009, 08:34:58 AM
Post by: K8 on May 12, 2009, 08:34:58 AM
In the last couple of days I've run into two people I hadn't seen since I started edging toward being Katherine.
When I approached the first one and didn't see immediate recognition, I said: "Do you recognize me? I used to be..." She said she recognized my voice. I took this as a negative, meaning I need to work on my voice.
When I approached the second one a couple of days later and didn't see immediate recognition, I said: "Do you recognize me?" He replied that he recognized my voice. This time I took it as a positive, meaning my appearance is not immediately recognizable as who I was in my male guise.
Has your voice changed a lot? Do people still recognize you from your voice? Is this a bad thing?
Stumbling through life,
Kate
When I approached the first one and didn't see immediate recognition, I said: "Do you recognize me? I used to be..." She said she recognized my voice. I took this as a negative, meaning I need to work on my voice.
When I approached the second one a couple of days later and didn't see immediate recognition, I said: "Do you recognize me?" He replied that he recognized my voice. This time I took it as a positive, meaning my appearance is not immediately recognizable as who I was in my male guise.
Has your voice changed a lot? Do people still recognize you from your voice? Is this a bad thing?
Stumbling through life,
Kate
Title: Re: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: FairyGirl on May 12, 2009, 09:05:12 AM
Post by: FairyGirl on May 12, 2009, 09:05:12 AM
My voice has always sounded somewhat feminine I guess, at least a lot of times in the past (before transitioning) people have just told me I sounded gay. ??? lol I have worked on my voice a lot though, and easily pass on the telephone now. I think also however a person's voice will always have that certain "je ne c'est quoi" that identifies you uniquely. It is your voice and the qualities that make it so are not necessarily the same qualities that make it sound feminine or masculine. That's my crackpot theory anyways :laugh:
Title: Re: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: Sandy on May 12, 2009, 09:37:55 AM
Post by: Sandy on May 12, 2009, 09:37:55 AM
My voice has changed a lot because I have to constantly remind myself to elevate my larynx to cut my male resonance and to speak in a higher timbre by a couple of notes. I sing in the alto range now as well. Also my speech mannerisms have become quite naturally feminine.
There have been people I have spoken with who didn't recognize my face didn't recognize my voice either. But those were few. Most did recognize my voice, though they did mention that it was less masculine.
Though I had an incident just the other day that really threw me for a loop.
Pat and I were at one of the local bars, and I excused myself to hit the ladies room. It was a small one with just a couple of stalls.
I had just got in one and I hear someone else come in. She says "Are all these stalls taken?"
I reply "This one is taken!"
"Oh my God! Is that a MAN!?"
"NO!"
Nothing more is said and when I come out, I mumble something and hold the door of the stall for her. She makes eye contact but says nothing.
She may have been a bit drunk, and I may have been a bit lazy, and sounded like Bea Arthur on a bad day, but it just reminds me that I must forever be vigilant about my voice. No amount of estrogen is ever going to make me sound feminine. I knew this, and I thought I was better at it, but it will be a lifelong effort.
-Sandy
There have been people I have spoken with who didn't recognize my face didn't recognize my voice either. But those were few. Most did recognize my voice, though they did mention that it was less masculine.
Though I had an incident just the other day that really threw me for a loop.
Pat and I were at one of the local bars, and I excused myself to hit the ladies room. It was a small one with just a couple of stalls.
I had just got in one and I hear someone else come in. She says "Are all these stalls taken?"
I reply "This one is taken!"
"Oh my God! Is that a MAN!?"
"NO!"
Nothing more is said and when I come out, I mumble something and hold the door of the stall for her. She makes eye contact but says nothing.
She may have been a bit drunk, and I may have been a bit lazy, and sounded like Bea Arthur on a bad day, but it just reminds me that I must forever be vigilant about my voice. No amount of estrogen is ever going to make me sound feminine. I knew this, and I thought I was better at it, but it will be a lifelong effort.
-Sandy
Title: Re: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: K8 on May 13, 2009, 07:55:48 AM
Post by: K8 on May 13, 2009, 07:55:48 AM
Quote from: Sandy on May 12, 2009, 09:37:55 AM
Though I had an incident just the other day that really threw me for a loop.
Pat and I were at one of the local bars, and I excused myself to hit the ladies room. It was a small one with just a couple of stalls.
I had just got in one and I hear someone else come in. She says "Are all these stalls taken?"
I reply "This one is taken!"
"Oh my God! Is that a MAN!?"
"NO!"
Nothing more is said and when I come out, I mumble something and hold the door of the stall for her. She makes eye contact but says nothing.
Oh Sandy! :o That certainly can pull you down a few notches! Sounds like you recovered all right, though.
I guess it is something we special girls will always have to deal with now and then. The other day I went into a public ladies' room and the 20-something girl at the sink gave me a startled look and quick head-to-toe sweep. Evidently my shoes were feminine enough because she didn't say anything. ::)
I have to keep working on my voice. I have to keep working on my voice. I have to keep working on my voice.
But I think you're both right in that our voice has certain recognizable qualities regardless of how we change the pitch and resonance.
- Kate
Title: Re: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 15, 2009, 11:57:25 AM
Post by: Alyssa M. on May 15, 2009, 11:57:25 AM
Kate, you've got some guts. I try very hard to avoid public restrooms.
Title: Re: "I recognized your voice."
Post by: Wendy C on May 23, 2009, 09:02:50 PM
Post by: Wendy C on May 23, 2009, 09:02:50 PM
Voice is hard and I believe that a lot has to with the vocal cords we were born with. For some the female voice comes very easy, but for most I think it is difficult. I struggle with mine. It is still inconsistent and to me seems to high and when I try to lower it goes into the male range. My wife tells me I have one of those annoying female voices, lol.
I also think the phone voice is a challenge. While I am passable in person, it sounds much different over a phone. I use a radio at work so I get to hear my voice a lot when another coworker is near. It kind of helps me and I think it is improving slowly. I do not fear public restrooms and have on several occasions met talkative women and conversed without any indication of them clocking me. Meeting talkative people happens a whole lot more in a woman's restroom than any men's room I was ever in.
Just keep working on it Kate, it will come. Hugs
~Wendy~
I also think the phone voice is a challenge. While I am passable in person, it sounds much different over a phone. I use a radio at work so I get to hear my voice a lot when another coworker is near. It kind of helps me and I think it is improving slowly. I do not fear public restrooms and have on several occasions met talkative women and conversed without any indication of them clocking me. Meeting talkative people happens a whole lot more in a woman's restroom than any men's room I was ever in.
Just keep working on it Kate, it will come. Hugs
~Wendy~