Community Conversation => Significant Others talk => Topic started by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2009, 06:08:18 AM Return to Full Version
Title: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2009, 06:08:18 AM
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2009, 06:08:18 AM
In my last post to heart, I explained that things with me and Lex are "complicated." But I'm giving that up. No, they weren't. Lex and I were back together. He just wouldn't admit it. Because he wont admit it, I think it makes him feel like its okay for him to basically cheat on me and I hate it. We got into it again last night because he lied to me again and he kissed her a second time. I'm done. I'm at the point where it really is me or her and if he chooses her I'm not looking back. I won't take second place when I was here first.
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: Starr on May 19, 2009, 06:19:02 AM
Post by: Starr on May 19, 2009, 06:19:02 AM
I'm so sorry he's doing that. He's being totally selfish. I take back what I said before about him just needing space to sort out his transition. Even if that's part of it, it's certainly no excuse for his behavior. If, as you suspect, she won't accept him if he tells her, he'll realize that he lost someone who tried to be supportive and accepting.
You deserve better. :icon_hug:
You deserve better. :icon_hug:
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: NicholeW. on May 19, 2009, 07:31:39 AM
Post by: NicholeW. on May 19, 2009, 07:31:39 AM
Personally I've always preferred silver to gold. Moon metal to sun metal, goddesses to gods, etc. :)
Playin' is never fun for anyone but the playah! Perhaps, as Starr said he'll come to that realization. A bit late, but it may be helpful to him the next time.
Just in my experience type of thing: the playah seems in constant need of re-affirmation that he's (or she's) attractive and worthy of the attention he (or she) gets from the situation. Never quite confident that he (she) "measures-up."
At the same time they often want to play while maintaining a "steady" relationship as there's a measure of "cushioned support" in that. They think they'll not be left alone which may be the reason for playin' while "married."
Thing is, I'd say you're better off, Heartwood, although you prolly won't feel that way for a while. It's prolly impossible to match two people for self-confidence levels, but I imagine it's best when both have a good bit. That way you tend to choose a partner from a place of strength rather than a place of weakness. One isn't effectively more "needy" than the other.
That appears to work best. All the best as you move forward, dear. :icon_hug:
N~
Playin' is never fun for anyone but the playah! Perhaps, as Starr said he'll come to that realization. A bit late, but it may be helpful to him the next time.
Just in my experience type of thing: the playah seems in constant need of re-affirmation that he's (or she's) attractive and worthy of the attention he (or she) gets from the situation. Never quite confident that he (she) "measures-up."
At the same time they often want to play while maintaining a "steady" relationship as there's a measure of "cushioned support" in that. They think they'll not be left alone which may be the reason for playin' while "married."
Thing is, I'd say you're better off, Heartwood, although you prolly won't feel that way for a while. It's prolly impossible to match two people for self-confidence levels, but I imagine it's best when both have a good bit. That way you tend to choose a partner from a place of strength rather than a place of weakness. One isn't effectively more "needy" than the other.
That appears to work best. All the best as you move forward, dear. :icon_hug:
N~
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: Miniar on May 19, 2009, 09:03:02 AM
Post by: Miniar on May 19, 2009, 09:03:02 AM
I would have dropped him like a rock the first time around hun..
*hugs*
*hugs*
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2009, 02:03:38 PM
Post by: kisschittybangbang on May 19, 2009, 02:03:38 PM
I told him today its me or her and I'll support his transition, but from a distant and in a platonic manner as long as she is around and he has today and tomorrow to think about it. If he needs more time after this last chance, I won't look back because thats him proving that I don't matter enough to him. I love him and I've forgiven and given him all that I can, but I have my limits and I'm about to break.
Post Merge: May 19, 2009, 03:54:24 PM
He chose her.
Post Merge: May 19, 2009, 03:54:24 PM
He chose her.
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: NicholeW. on May 19, 2009, 04:48:13 PM
Post by: NicholeW. on May 19, 2009, 04:48:13 PM
Obviously you do care and did care. luv. I am so sorry he found his "cushioning" and wish there were something that I could say that would just totally soothe and heal you right this second.
I think I can safely speak for the staff and admins here though that we hope you stay here regardless your relationship or lack w/ Lex. You've become part of the family and we would like it if you stay with us.
O, I am sooo sorry. :icon_hug:
:) ~Earth Goddess~ :)
I think I can safely speak for the staff and admins here though that we hope you stay here regardless your relationship or lack w/ Lex. You've become part of the family and we would like it if you stay with us.
O, I am sooo sorry. :icon_hug:
:) ~Earth Goddess~ :)
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: Starr on May 19, 2009, 04:55:22 PM
Post by: Starr on May 19, 2009, 04:55:22 PM
I'm so sorry. He doesn't know what he lost. :icon_hug:
Title: Re: I may prefer silver but I deserve Gold.
Post by: Cindy on May 21, 2009, 04:29:12 AM
Post by: Cindy on May 21, 2009, 04:29:12 AM
I'm so sorry to hear that:
"He chose her"
You sound like a marvelous and loving person. He/she sounds like a fool.
I wish I had words of comfort, but your pain resonates.
LOve and Hugs
Cindy
"He chose her"
You sound like a marvelous and loving person. He/she sounds like a fool.
I wish I had words of comfort, but your pain resonates.
LOve and Hugs
Cindy