Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well, graduation was today and almost all of my friends are now moving away.  I am staying in school for another year and having almost no one around anymore really sucks.  I am going to be really lonely and it made me really sad today that it has finally happened.  Today was the last day I will see a lot of these people for a long time.

Made me cry.

I just really needed to get this out.  Thanks for listening.

You need a hug darlin.

Sad, but the nature of college is to do it and move on.  Nothing sadder than people hanging out years after they finish.

Yea

I was so sad leaving University in the UK. In fact never caught up with those friends again, since I emigrated.
You just move on. :-*
Cindy

Branch out to things outside of school.

Quote from: tekla on May 24, 2009, 12:57:44 AM
Nothing sadder than people hanging out years after they finish.

Why do you say that?

Because I spend a considerable part of my life in college towns, and seen them, and even knew a few.  The point of college is to get what you need to get (a degree, skills, whatever) and get out of there.  Its supposed to be a stop, not a destination unless your goal is to teach or work at one.  Once you are finished, to keep on hanging out is only a way to postpone real life, which won't happen for long.  College is meant to prepare you for some sort of reality, not be a substitute for it.

I agree with most of that, but I don't understand why staying friends with people you meet in college is so bad?


Maybe I misunderstood.

Nothing wrong with staying friends with them, and in these times, with free long distance, email, BBs, Facebook and the other social nets its much easier to do.  I'm still friends with a lot of people I went to college with back so long ago.  But I also know that those first few years out of college are a hectic whirl - getting a new job, living a real life, putting all that stuff together and its easy to get lost in it, or at least run out of time, as reality has some pretty pressing concerns that college does not have.

Quote from: Valerie Elizabeth on May 24, 2009, 11:50:54 AM
I agree with most of that, but I don't understand why staying friends with people you meet in college is so bad?

It's not a bad thing, just in certain circumstances you end up loosing touch with those friends as they, and you, move on with your lives.  Granted, as Tekla said, using email and Facebook to stay in touch is an option, but in some instances you will loose touch with some people, as those mediums aren't a substitute for seeing people face-to-face.

I'm dealing with the same thing.  Some of my friends from college have moved away, in some instances, across the country or to other countries.  It happens to a lot of people after college.

I see it as the difference between maintaining a connection and living in the past.  I've seen living in the past and it isn't pretty.

One example I can recall offhand was a sports writer who had potential but couldn't resist including an unfavorable comparison to his high school team in everything he wrote.  He was still very much reliving his senior year of high school.  He ultimately got over that, but it probably cost him a decade of possible career progress first.

In response to tekla's comment and some of the responses. I returned to the UK 12 months after emigrating to Australia, for a holiday. I was also a bit homesick. I caught up with my closest friends, who were all living in the same area as they had. I couldn't believe how stagnant they were, and I don't mean that rudely. However, they still drank at the same pubs, did the same things on the weekend. Eat the same food. No one had moved on. Except me, I had totally different interests, and not just due to GID. I had experience of a different culture, I was ( and still am) completely self willed, while they were totally dependent upon the group opinion.

There is never a way to back. And once you have gone forward you really don't want to.


I have to admit, with some sorrow, that I never bothered to keep in touch with them once I returned to Australia. Of course, they all wanted to visit, we made plans. Nope. Too far out of the comfort zone.

Cindy James

Sometimes your friends move away, sometimes you move away. Some you keep in touch with, others you don't. Nearly half my friends are dead. Others just moved on with their lives or I did. I miss many of them. Luckily, the one thing this world will never run out of is new friends.  ;)

You'll be surprised how little you actually miss some people after a while...

Quote from: CindyJames on May 25, 2009, 03:41:21 AM
I caught up with my closest friends, who were all living in the same area as they had. I couldn't believe how stagnant they were, and I don't mean that rudely. However, they still drank at the same pubs, did the same things on the weekend. Eat the same food. No one had moved on. Except me, I had totally different interests, and not just due to GID. I had experience of a different culture, I was ( and still am) completely self willed, while they were totally dependent upon the group opinion.

I remember after I graduated high school, how many of my friends went to the same college so they could be together.  I remember so many of my friends went to college like an hour and a half away and would drive home every weekend to just hang out.  I moved about an hour and a half away and go home maybe once every two months (probably longer) to visit my parents.  I visit one or two friends a couple times a year.  I really miss them, but I have made completely new friends and have moved on.

I have one really really good friend who moved to North Carolina and is in the Army, and we stay in touch very regularly.

It's totally the same.  They all have the same interests and do the same things.  They still all meet at the same persons house to hang out or they go to the same skanky bars.

My interests have changed (not completely) but quite a bit.



After college I want to spend a year in Japan, hopefully make some friends there.  I want to experience a new culture, learn so many new things, and overall have a really amazing time in a really cool place.  I can't think of any of the people I knew from high school who are like that.  Some of my good friends in college are though.

Thanks for the responses from everyone.  I needed a lot of them.  Sometimes it just helps to talk things out.