Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Have any of you experienced delusions of grandeur? that is to say, you have these amazing fantasies of how you will look post-transition, etc. only to realize that they are just that - fantasy, and that you are deluding yourself?

I think my story is quite funny in hindsight but also incredibly saddening. Ive had this fantasy ever since I dreamt of transitioning that Id be this beautiful girl in the end... specifically that Id look like Megan Fox. So much so that in my FFS consults ive requested surgery to look like her as much as possible.. I know, creepy.

Having said that, I think I had the best response ever today in an e-mail. One FFS surgeon pretty much told me to cut my ->-bleeped-<- out, and to accept that I will just in the end look like a feminized version of me, like the twin sister I never had.. not Megan Fox, damn it :(

He was nice about it though, telling me that he could do as much as possible to feminize me but that he can only do so much. My skeleton just is far too wide to look like Megan Fox who has a far narrower head and that features on her would look horrible on me and vice versa.

I think it's pretty normal early on to have to imagine what you'd look like as a woman/man. If your features, coloring, etc are close to Megan Fox makes sense you'd see something like her in your vision. I'm glad that your surgeon was straight with you.
I still think I'm going to look like Jackie Gleason.  :laugh:

Quote from: Nero on June 05, 2009, 08:36:41 PM
I think it's pretty normal early on to have to imagine what you'd look like as a woman/man. If your features, coloring, etc are close to Megan Fox makes sense you'd see something like her in your vision. I'm glad that your surgeon was straight with you.
I still think I'm going to look like Jackie Gleason.  :laugh:

the funny part is that i felt i looked like an obese version of her, and that all my excess face fat was just that fat. However my prospective surgeon disagrees. He considers us night and day and believes my head is just big haha. Otherwise, we have very similiar skin, hair, eyes, etc. As well as huge lips :)

Well, you may end up kind of like her then. However you end up, will be uniquely you and gorgeous in your own right.

As Nichole once said, using different but similar people, if you go into it looking like Warren Sapp you are not going to come out the other side looking like Shawn Johnson.

And if your going to be Jackie Gleason, you better save up, that guy was always dressed to the nines, maybe one of the best dressed guys in show biz ever.  In his day he made the best dressed list for a number of years.

I don't have any delusions of myself.  I will look as I do and that is fine.  My evil twin's sister?  Ok, but I still like I am pretty in my own right.

And I always though Jackie was sexy in his own right.  ;)

Janet

I think we all go through that at some phase.  It is nothing to worry about.  It is hard not to because out hopes get so high.  The problem is when we look in the mirror and see someone resembling a guy and it all falls apart.  I think the hardest part is just learning to be comfortable with who we are.  I had this odd fantasy of wanting to look like Olivia Newton John in Grease.  Well, needless to say, it did not happen.  But I just have to be content with passing most of the time.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

QuoteAnd if your going to be Jackie Gleason, you better save up, that guy was always dressed to the nines, maybe one of the best dressed guys in show biz ever.  In his day he made the best dressed list for a number of years.

Damn. Looks like I'm outta luck there. My bank account is hurting and I don't know the first thing about clothes. I'm still dressing like a kid in hoodies and khakis.

Oh yeah I did at the beginning. But then I had a cosmic reality check. My parents and such explained to me that I more than likely would never be passable or attractive. But I don't care to much about that anymore, kinda come to terms with it

The word always was that Jackie hated dressing in the bus driver outfit, but did love cashing the checks, but on his show in Miami, and on the train trips his company did, he was styling, right down to the ever present boutonniere.

As ZZ Top said:
Clean shirt, new shoes
and I don't know where I am goin' to.
Silk suit, black tie,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Gold watch, diamond ring,
I ain't missin' a single thing.
And cufflinks, stick pin,
when I step out I'm gonna do you in.
They come runnin' just as fast as they can
coz every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man.

Quote from: Nero on June 05, 2009, 09:27:30 PM
Damn. Looks like I'm outta luck there. My bank account is hurting and I don't know the first thing about clothes. I'm still dressing like a kid in hoodies and khakis.

I still dress like that, I guess I don't know much about dressing up all "fancy" like.  :o

Oh, yeah, well, you know, I think we all do that to an extent. ;)

I definitely have those issues too. Every time I hear that dysphoric voice kick in I remember it's responsible for the roller coaster I used to live on. It's about real beauty love. Pass to yourself (even if you still have stubble.) The world at large doesn't really matter when you love yourself girl. GG's aren't happy with all of their features either. It's not their resemblance to a celebrity, or lack thereof which defines their femininity.

Oh to practice what we preach ;D I get a little better at it every day.

Nero,
Hang out in a department store suits/men's collections dept. Those sales people are bored right now and have time to chat you up about sexy man clothes. They're full of useful info and it's free, unless you buy the suit!

Quote from: Nero on June 05, 2009, 09:27:30 PM
Damn. Looks like I'm outta luck there. My bank account is hurting and I don't know the first thing about clothes. I'm still dressing like a kid in hoodies and khakis.

Books on fashion, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Or spend about $10-15 dollars at Barnes and Noble on the title of your choice.

Little $$$$$ in the ol' checking account, eh?   Goodwill type stores or ebay. JCPenney fashionable yet "cheap," any Macy's mega sale.

Its all about GQ, always has been.

Used to be Woody Allen, now I'm Diane Keaton ::)

Not only does it happen to us, but the letdown increases as we get older. 25 years ago I easily passed, now age has caught up with me and sometimes I feel a bit self conscious. What I see in my eye and what I see in the mirror diverge over time. But the truth is we are our own harshest and worst critics. To the world around me I am just another chick passing by...

I never really wanted to look like a celebrity (besides Lohan) but the hottest woman version of myself. That's fine too.

Well yeah! Not that I realistically expect it but I do look for possible matches.

Along those lines - Kim Komando put up a link to a very fun site

http://www.morphthing.com/ (http://www.morphthing.com/)

I found a few celebrity women on there with facial shapes kinda like mine (albeit with a lot less fat!) and have some pics that kind of make me thing "best case scenario" if I won the lottery and could afford unlimited surgery lol.

I thought Elizabeth Montgomery worked out really well...

^^ Yeah I see it in the lips and the nose, and eyebrows.

Delusions? Why, of course not. I just tell myself:

And I shall be not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Strong as the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nightcharm.com%2Fimagesblog%2F2006%2F10%2F31-Galadrial-1.jpg&hash=a947cd416a6cd6b602862633c222646f2c304e7e)

At least when I steal stuff I cite the author.

I stopped using LSD a long time ago.

I think this is about the only influential substance that could ever even begin to make me believe I'm ever gonna look anything remotely close to a supermodel.

Paring our expectations down to reality can be tough. :D

My sister and I are almost identical in size - same height, same general build.  She has the advantage of never having had testosterone-poisoning, but other than that we're very similar.  I know I'll never be as pretty as she is, but I like to think that I have more world knowledge that shines out.

At this point in my life, I just want people not to gag when they see me. ;D

- Kate

Quote from: tekla on June 08, 2009, 03:11:35 AM
At least when I steal stuff I cite the author.

You troll, that wasn't stealing, that was an obvious humorous allusion* whose source is well known and which I expect would be widely recognized. What is your problem, anyway? Especially since you never have anything to contribute that is relevant to transgender. Your trolling has gotten a lot worse lately. Why don't you just back off?

*FYI:
al⋅lu⋅sion (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/allusion) 1: an implied or indirect reference especially in literature  ; also : the use of such references

I think the people here are smarter and more literate than you give them credit for.

I try not to assume anything, it always messes up in the end.  And not everyone reads that sword and sorcery stuff, even if most of the people you know do.  I grew up a very avid reader and never read that thing till well after college.

Second, the original, prime, and cardinal sin in the whole Delusions of Grandeur deal is thinking you are right, and if people disagree with you, they must be wrong.

Quote from: tekla on June 08, 2009, 09:11:36 PMSecond, the original, prime, and cardinal sin in the whole Delusions of Grandeur deal is thinking you are right, and if people disagree with you, they must be wrong.

Try telling yourself that for a change.

BTW, the Fellowship of the Ring movies, which the quote came from, have been seen by many millions far and wide. It's only the 15th highest grossing film (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_highest-grossing_films) of all time. It's a safe bet it would be recognized by many here. Again, the people here are quite literate and culturally aware, and The Lord of the Rings, which you dismiss as "that sword and sorcery stuff" is only "one of the most popular and influential works in 20th-century literature," whose "enduring popularity has led to numerous references in popular culture." (cite) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lord_of_the_Rings) Hardly an obscure source for a quote. In this case, your assumptions are clearly, demonstrably wrong.

As someone is hasn't began to transition, but planning to take the appropriate steps next month or the following month - I can't help but be curious what I will look like.

I suppose I can only speculate; this is going to bother me for the rest of the night   :-\

Oh I'm sure I am wrong.  I just know that if I used that quote with people I know it would be a 50-50 deal if people would get it or not.  Depends on the group I'm talking to.  Hence, I can't be sure, so I cite (its also a bad academic habit, but that's another story - hit a writers block, time for the block quote).  And I didn't dismiss it, I just called it what it is in genre form.  And I like the word stuff, a lot.  Everyone knows what it means, so I never have to explain it, and I'm one happy kitty kat when I don't have to explain.

Oh yeah, seeing the move is not literate, its seeing the movie.

Quote from: Kristi on June 05, 2009, 09:16:27 PM
I think we all go through that at some phase.  It is nothing to worry about.  It is hard not to because out hopes get so high.  The problem is when we look in the mirror and see someone resembling a guy and it all falls apart.  I think the hardest part is just learning to be comfortable with who we are.  I had this odd fantasy of wanting to look like Olivia Newton John in Grease.  Well, needless to say, it did not happen.  But I just have to be content with passing most of the time.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

I remember I saw the movie Grease when I was about 13 years old, and thought she was so much beautiful to be my ideal. But, nowadays, oops, No... No.... No.

My stereotype on ideal woman has changed so dramatically  :D.

Barbie~~

What is it about her?  I did too.  I even learned all her songs.

Janet

I think it was that she oozed femininity. She could pass as frilly and sweet and still achieve sultry and vampy.... but she never left you doubting that she was a woman! And unlike other celebrities she was never full of herself...

Quote from: barbie on June 09, 2009, 12:11:47 AM
I remember I saw the movie Grease when I was about 13 years old, and thought she was so much beautiful to be my ideal. But, nowadays, oops, No... No.... No.

My stereotype on ideal woman has changed so dramatically  :D.

Barbie~~

Oh my yes. At any age in my life I'd have very much wanted to look like ONJ at that age, right up to her current appearance.

I'm not sure if she'd be my first choice anymore but she's still really close to the top of the list.

Valarie Bertinelli is up there too.

It is not her problem, but mine: an image I want to look like.

When I was puberty, I did not like skinny women, but nowadays I admire them. Kate Moss would be one of my ideal images, but of course I was a little disappointed at her recent drug scandal. Nevertheless, her Calvin Klein Ads are still impressive to me.

http://www.theworldsbestever.com/kmoss23.jpg (http://www.theworldsbestever.com/kmoss23.jpg)

Barbie~~

I've often wished to look like or as pretty as various women. But at my age, I'm just glad to still get some compliments

Funny story...When I was much younger and doing music, I had my hair bleached and cut to look like Sting. Several people told me I looked like Brigitte Nielsen  :laugh:

and my ffs doctor joked about my ending up looking like ernest borgnine.....

is it better to endure the slings an arrows?  Or accept that one will never be accepted?

About 10 years ago, my first son played with a barbie doll, and it soon become worn out. One day, I looked at the naked doll, noticing that her body shape could be similar to mine, although at that time I did not clearly recognize my transsexualism. I thought that my body shape as a man is as much bizarre as the humble naked doll.

Anyway, my ideal image is like:
http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/images/b/barbie_and_friends-12263.jpg (http://images.paraorkut.com/img/pics/images/b/barbie_and_friends-12263.jpg)

Barbie~~

Personally i always convinced (sometimes still do) myself ill look like a few of my gg friends but i know deep down i never will. they are so so different to me.

Barbie i know wat ur saying but u reminded me of this thing i saw a while ago where it had wat the barbie doll would look like if she was a real woman and she would be close to 7" tall with legs and a neck far too long and thin to support her body.
I thought it was funny that the supposed "perfect female figure" is literally unatainable and freakish.

Claire xoxo

Quote from: Claire on June 10, 2009, 05:11:05 PM
Barbie i know wat ur saying but u reminded me of this thing i saw a while ago where it had wat the barbie doll would look like if she was a real woman and she would be close to 7" tall with legs and a neck far too long and thin to support her body.
I thought it was funny that the supposed "perfect female figure" is literally unatainable and freakish.

Claire xoxo

Claire,

It is true that the barbie dolls are unrealistic. Yesterday night, I happened to wach a TV program "Barbie fashion show": http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/2009/02/17/barbie-fashion-show-2009-collection-backstage/ (http://www.nitrolicious.com/blog/2009/02/17/barbie-fashion-show-2009-collection-backstage/)

There are some women who are claimed to be close to Barbie:

http://www.joetheprogrammer.net/images/barbie6big.jpg (http://www.joetheprogrammer.net/images/barbie6big.jpg)

And a korean version of barbie doll:
http://z.hubpages.com/u/402846_f520.jpg (http://z.hubpages.com/u/402846_f520.jpg)

In my country, the nickname of an actress is barbie doll:
http://popseoul.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/hanchaeyoung_080925_1.jpg (http://popseoul.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/hanchaeyoung_080925_1.jpg)

My son and daughter also loved barbie dolls. My daughter still loves Barbie things such as barbie toothpaste and PINK shoes  :angel:

Barbie~~

Quote from: tekla on June 08, 2009, 03:11:35 AM
At least when I steal stuff I cite the author.

Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.

---

Post Merge: June 11, 2009, 01:38:07 AM

---

To answer the question, yes, I definitely have moments of slight delusion. And greater delusion, when I think that I can look like Gisele Buendchen -- hey, look, she has middle brown slightly wavy hair and moderately dark eyes and full eyebrows and a light olive complexion and a few freckles and high cheekbones and a strong nose that turns down just a bit and a fairly strong jawline and chin just like me!!!

Okay, maybe not so much. Most of the time I'm fairly content with the look I can achieve now with a bit of work, and more content to know that letting the hrt do its work and the possibility of having ffs will make me look just fine, at least to my own reckoning. So my struggle is to be comfortable in my presentation, to reacquaint myself with the image in the mirror, and not swing wildly in the image I have in my mind of how others see me. So, basically teenage identity crisis stuff. I'm a lot more worried about how I sound than how I look. I have delusions of sounding like Frederica von Stade. :D (Those ones are really far-fetched!)

Wow i'd kill to look like any of those girls, but at the same time i'm ok with wat i got (will have, realistically).

Claire xoxo

Quote from: Alyssa M. on June 11, 2009, 01:16:54 AM
hey, look, she has middle brown slightly wavy hair and moderately dark eyes and full eyebrows and a light olive complexion and a few freckles and high cheekbones and a strong nose that turns down just a bit and a fairly strong jawline and chin just like me!!!

I absolutely agree with you that she looks just like you. To me, she looks androgynous.

Barbie~~

Thank you, my dear, but it's a little bit empty since I have never posted a picture of myself (except for one that is not exactly revealing) -- my profile picture is of Lynn Hill, a famous rock climber, one of the best in the world, whom I would love to resemble even more than I'd love to resemble Ms. Buendchen.

But she is indeed a bit androgynous -- which is often what makes a woman beautiful.

To Cassie09:

God, yes, Hon.  Do it ALL the time ... and end up really bumming out over it.  Just like Alyssa M. said above about dreaming about looking like Gisele Buendchen, heck, yes!  I'd transact "The Faustian Bargain" (selling your soul to The Devil) to look like Gisele Buendchen!!!

I'm just beginning the process of transitioning, and I certainly do have Delusions of Grandeur and Dreams of Gorgeousness ... and know full darned well that it just ain't gonna happen.   Sigh ... !

You're not the only one who does this kind of dreaming, Hon, by no means.  Cool topic to bring up, by the way.  Good luck to you in your transition.

Quote from: Kristi on June 05, 2009, 09:16:27 PM
I had this odd fantasy of wanting to look like Olivia Newton John in Grease. 

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Sandra Dee ( early in the movie ) or the one that goes "Hey Stud!!!!"

Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed till I'm legally wed, I can't, I'm Sandra Dee
Watch it, hey, I'm Doris Day, I was not brought up that way
Won't come across, even Rock
Hudson lost his heart to Doris Day
I don't drink or swear, I won't rat my hair,
I get ill from one cigarette
Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers.
Would you pull that crap with Annette?
As for you, Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do
You got your crust, I'm no object of lust,
I'm just plain Sandra Dee Elvis,
Elvis, let me be, keep that pelvis far from me
Just keep your cool, now you're starting to drool
Hey, fungu, I'm Sandra Dee

Quote from: Alyssa M. on June 11, 2009, 12:45:16 PM
Thank you, my dear, but it's a little bit empty since I have never posted a picture of myself (except for one that is not exactly revealing) -- my profile picture is of Lynn Hill, a famous rock climber, one of the best in the world, whom I would love to resemble even more than I'd love to resemble Ms. Buendchen.

I believe what you say  ;)

Barbie~~

I think sexuality itself is essentially delusional, except the purpose of reproduction. Most women are also delusional (women are more interested in my body shape than men).

Buddhism teaches us that everything in our world is delusional  :o.

Barbie~~

Quote from: daisybelle on June 11, 2009, 03:47:52 PM
Sandra Dee ( early in the movie ) or the one that goes "Hey Stud!!!!"

Oh I like the idea of being both.  I think that is one of the awesome things about Sandy.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi

Hormones make some individuals dilusional and the prediction is never quite the same as the reality. The longer you are in transition the more level headed you become and come to terms with the limitations.

I always knew I wouldn't be a size 4 or look like Angelina Jolie after transition.

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 14, 2009, 05:17:33 AM
Hormones make some individuals dilusional and the prediction is never quite the same as the reality. The longer you are in transition the more level headed you become and come to terms with the limitations.

I don't think it's just the hormones.  We want to be some unattainable ideal. :P  But don't lots of people?  Why do they sell so many magazines about celebreties?

I agree with your second statement, and that's why you don't get GRS on the second day of full-time.  It takes a while to learn to be the new you and to adjust your expectations.

- Kate

Quote from: Pia on June 14, 2009, 05:23:59 AM
I always knew I wouldn't be a size 4 or look like Angelina Jolie after transition.

In my case, even if I attained them, I would be stilll an imitation woman. Today I wore size 2 capris. While I exercised along a beach here, women watched me in awe and young men smiled at me.

What do I want? I am not quite sure, but I always try to wear bolder and bolder fashion items. My next step is to wear an athletic bra in the beach. Endless...

Barbie~~

Quote from: K8 on June 14, 2009, 07:41:21 AM
I don't think it's just the hormones.  We want to be some unattainable ideal. :P  But don't lots of people?  Why do they sell so many magazines about celebreties?

I agree with your second statement, and that's why you don't get GRS on the second day of full-time.  It takes a while to learn to be the new you and to adjust your expectations.

- Kate

I know this is going off topic but to reply to your post K8:

GRS on the second day of what? I've been FT for about 6 or 7 years and I complied with all the protocols and the HBSOC.  I was refused a GRS referral by a U.K's NHS Clinic without explanation. I then went to a different part of the NHS and got a referral the same afternoon as the appointment.

In the U.K they do not guage things on how passable you are and do not seem to have any criteria as to who they choose for referrals to matter what the circumstances.

I just wish that the USA had programs that would let us get GRS.  To raise the money, in this economy and with a limited income, is hard.  And the health care system still thinks that GRS is elective cosmetic surgery, despite the AMA resolution 122.

It is really the only thing that I have left.  Well except maybe an orchie in between.

Janet

I try to be hopeful with hrt results but at the same time realistic. I really try to not have any expectations at all and just be happy with anything I get that's in the right direction, but of course we are going to have some expectations. I'd like to think I've got this whole Emmylou Harris thing going on- I look nothing like her of course but I have similar hair and a slender build and love wearing long skirts. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to emulate someone whose looks you admire, as long as you don't really expect to get mistaken for him/her on the street (here in Nashville, that might actually be possible with Emmylou but it ain't gonna happen for me).

Quote from: Janet Lynn on June 15, 2009, 09:50:10 AM
I just wish that the USA had programs that would let us get GRS.  To raise the money, in this economy and with a limited income, is hard.  And the health care system still thinks that GRS is elective cosmetic surgery, despite the AMA resolution 122.

It is really the only thing that I have left.  Well except maybe an orchie in between.

Janet

AMA 122 huh? Well I bookmarked the pdf I found.

I used to work at Highmark Blue Shield- a really big medical insurance company over here- and I have a fair idea of what to do in order to convince them to change their coverage plans (or anyone else's plans for that matter). If I ever get around to getting health insurance, that is.  :laugh:

Quote from: Naturally Blonde on June 15, 2009, 09:07:30 AM
I know this is going off topic but to reply to your post K8:

GRS on the second day of what? I've been FT for about 6 or 7 years and I complied with all the protocols and the HBSOC.  I was refused a GRS referral by a U.K's NHS Clinic without explanation. I then went to a different part of the NHS and got a referral the same afternoon as the appointment.

In the U.K they do not guage things on how passable you are and do not seem to have any criteria as to who they choose for referrals to matter what the circumstances.

Dear Naturally Blonde,
I'm sorry I wasn't clear.  I was agreeing with your previous statement, that our expectations gradually become more realistic as we continue through transition.  Therefore, we need to spend more than two days transitioning.

I'm sorry you have been at this so long without resolution.  I don't understand the UK system.  (I don't even understand the American system that well. :P)  Don't you have to get a referral from your therapist?  Perhaps you can talk to your therapist to find out what was in the referral.  It is awful if you were turned down but were given no indication of why.

- Kate

And now, back to our regular programming...

Quote from: K8 on June 15, 2009, 03:54:01 PM
Dear Naturally Blonde,
I'm sorry I wasn't clear.  I was agreeing with your previous statement, that our expectations gradually become more realistic as we continue through transition.  Therefore, we need to spend more than two days transitioning.

I'm sorry you have been at this so long without resolution.  I don't understand the UK system.  (I don't even understand the American system that well. :P)  Don't you have to get a referral from your therapist?  Perhaps you can talk to your therapist to find out what was in the referral.  It is awful if you were turned down but were given no indication of why.

- Kate

And now, back to our regular programming...

Hi Kate, I don't understand the U.K system either and never will.  Over here we have psychiatrists and they pick and choose who they want to make a referral no matter if they comply with the HBSOC or not. In my case I was living full time for many years and did comply with the HBSOC but still refused a referral for GRS from a well known NHS london gender identity clinic despite the fact that I had attended for 6 years. But by going to a different psychiatrist at a different clinic I was able to get a referral without any problem on the same day.

In the U.K we are totally controled by the mental health psychiatrists (especially if you go the NHS route)  and it leads to many attempted or fatal suicide cases if they are refused referrals by the psychiatrists. I knew a girl who had a good job and looked like a babe and totally intergrated as a female who was refused a referral, she did attempt suicide but she is thankfully ok now. Then you get the one's who the psychiatrists do give referrals to who do not live Full time, don't intergrate and only socialise in safe selected T venue's and not in everyday situations. I will never understand the U.K system.

It sounds like some of the mental health people are playing god and doing it for their own benefit rather than for the benefit of their patients.  :(

I had to try three different therapists before I found one who could help me.  The first two were OK for a few sessions but we couldn't get further.  The one I have now is wonderful. :D

I'm glad you got a referral finally. ;)

*hugs*
Kate

Quote from: cassie09 on June 05, 2009, 08:24:48 PM
Have any of you experienced delusions of grandeur? that is to say, you have these amazing fantasies of how you will look post-transition, etc. only to realize that they are just that - fantasy, and that you are deluding yourself?

I have experienced full-blown psychotic delusions in which I was using the power of my mind to slowly reshape my body into a desirable female form, and the reason that nobody noticed this was that I had magically programmed their minds to believe that this is normal. At the time, I seemed to be perfectly normal on the surface. I was happy and highly motivated, and I had become a bit of a captain of industry for a while. What I didn't know at the time was that I had turned very selfish and arrogant, too. When the delusion broke down, I went into a very traumatic depressive episode, relapsing a few times into the delusions again, and I finally broke down and went to see a therapist. The entire thing nearly destroyed my relationship with my boyfriend, and I'm still trying to piece the thing back together. He never started hating me, thankfully, but he felt a little contempt toward me for a while, and earning back his respect is taking a LOT of work.

QuoteHaving said that, I think I had the best response ever today in an e-mail. One FFS surgeon pretty much told me to cut my ->-bleeped-<- out, and to accept that I will just in the end look like a feminized version of me, like the twin sister I never had.. not Megan Fox, damn it :(

I am very fortunate. I'm just going to look like a six-foot tall Amazon. Some guys dig that. Some guys dig it a LOT. Maybe I'll take up gymnastics, just so I can do like backflips and somersaults and stuff. I was already freakishly limber for a male. It works for me, and I can be happy with it. I LIKE it. I am a tigress, and part of what makes me that way is that I'm learning to MOVE like a tigress. That's where real beauty comes from, you know; it emerges from the way that your body moves more than just your superficial appearance. I still look terribly masculine when I pose for pictures, but a video recording of me just SCREAMS "female."

My advice: try to make YOURSELF look sexy, and attempt to bring out the best in your OWN appearance. Take the lead of attractive females who share your physical characteristics and personality, and try to model yourself after THEM, not Megan Fox. Megan Fox is attractive because she found something that WORKS for her, and she patiently cultivated it over the course of several YEARS. Doing something like that takes a lot of humility and WORK; at least in part, she has EARNED what she has. A fortunate roll of the genetic dice can't make you famous, and Megan Fox would tell you that herself. Follow her example, and find the special something that works for YOU. When you find it, bless it with the mysterious magic of experience. That's what created Megan Fox. Use it to create the new you.

Quote from: K8 on June 20, 2009, 07:49:27 AM
It sounds like some of the mental health people are playing god and doing it for their own benefit rather than for the benefit of their patients.  :(

I had to try three different therapists before I found one who could help me.  The first two were OK for a few sessions but we couldn't get further.  The one I have now is wonderful. :D

I'm glad you got a referral finally. ;)

*hugs*
Kate

Many thanks for your message Kate x

I have no delusions of grandeur and look at things with a completely realistic approach. I am fully aware of the limitations of HRT and FFS.

Cassie, You can still be delusional no matter who you look like. Trust me I know.
Nero, Maybe you should try the "Larry the Cable Guy" look. His attire you can get for about $4.99.