Susan's Place Transgender Resources

September 05, 2006

Guy's night out can be a drag sometimes
http://www.lasvegassun.com/sunbin/stories/sun/2006/sep/05/566681198.html?tri-ess

Quotea 6-foot, 210-pound former hockey player sits with four friends, too nervous to reveal his real identity to a stranger. He goes by Mindy. He and his four male friends - who won't reveal their real names either - wear women's wigs, makeup and wardrobe.

By most counts, this is a city where almost anything goes. But not quite. These men live the reality for cross-dressers in Las Vegas. On this night they are attending a social gathering of Tri Ess, a support group for heterosexual cross-dressers. For these men, it's a typical guys' night out, right down to the earrings, press-on nails and tasteful handbags.

The group finds refuge every week at Suede, a restaurant in a gay-friendly section of town. But they are not gay. Each is married, and one of the wives even attends this meeting. She's married to Nora, the fellow wearing a dress, eye shadow and a gold woman's watch.

The wives feel different levels of acceptance or anguish about their husbands' shared fetish. Late in the meal, Nora's wife lays into the guys for their cross-dressing habits, adding a tension to an otherwise amiable evening. She barely tolerates his behavior.

The men defy cross-dressing stereotypes. They're not gay. They don't want to become women. But they feel compelled to dress in female attire, right down to the underwear and stuffed brassieres. They can't explain it, but as they've aged they've come to accept it.