Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Leigh Ann Sparks was someone you respected, you might like her, you might not. But you always gave her the respect she was entitled to. I loved Leigh, I am sure that I was not alone in that. Leigh Ann Sparks passed away September 9th from the cancer which ravaged her body. She was 60 years old, and taken from us much too soon.

Leigh was admitted to OHSU on Monday, September 4, 2006. She was not feeling well. Subsequent testing indicated widespread cancer in everything from her brain down to her vital organs. She passed away peacefully at approximately 11:30am on Saturday, September 9, 2006."  She did not die alone, her leather Dad, Cyd Athens was there

There will be a memorial service a week from today, At the Egyptian room in Portland Oregon on Sunday, September 17th at 4pm PST. The Egyptian room is a local bar.

Some recollections about Leigh, please feel free to post your own also!

She said "I am sometimes too honest, almost to the point of rudeness.  If someone asks me a question,  I'll answer and if they don't like it, well they did ask."

In July 2005 she told Stephanie Craxford, "I am not strong at all.  I am just one determined bitch in boots an jeans who wasn't about to let some damn lil bug get in the way of me living my life"

She carried a key chain "Woman by birth, Bitch by choice"

Leigh was a 'card carrying lifetime member' of Bad Girls (http://www.pdxbadgirls.net/main.html), something she was very proud of.

Read a newspaper story (http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/index.ssf?/news/oregonian/00/12/lc_41trans13.frame) about Leigh

Here's a letter written by Leigh:
<blockquote>
Spelling in tolerance editorial divides
Letter to the editor
February 2, 2005

As a woman who is part Athabascan living in Oregon, I am compelled to ask why in part of this editorial (Empire editorial, Jan. 23), blacks was spelled with a lower case "b" but Natives was spelled using a capital letter? Why the use of the word blacks in the first place?

Gays and lesbians can be closed-minded and condescending about heterosexuals, just as blacks and Natives can be hateful toward whites. The idea is to eliminate intolerance from all directions.

Leigh Ann Sparks

Portland, Ore
</blockquote>
I am sure Leigh would do it one last time herself, if she could so here goes :whip: Be good, don't be sad, celebrate her life, She was a great person and will be missed.


* I personally wish to thank Dennis, Elleane, Emerald, Steph, Terri-Gene, and Valerie for helping me through the very hard job of writing an announcement on this sad occasion. I could not have done it by myself.

-----<------@

May the Creator carry you and nurture you into the Great Beyond. We will sorely miss you!

I noticed that Leigh hadn't been posting for a while and I had no idea that it was that serious!

Oh, I am so sad this happened.  Leigh was very tough sometimes, sometimes a little more than necessary I think, but I could always recognize her honesty and personal integrity in all her posts.

I've been missing her and I miss her more now. :'(

I wanted to write something special for Leigh and perhaps later I'll be able to do so.  Right now, my mind is dumbfounded and can't think clearly.  I did not know Leigh as well as some of the other members here.  We had a few brief interactions.

I wanted to write something special for Leigh and perhaps later I'll be able to do so.  Right now, my mind is dumbfounded and can't think clearly.  I did not know Leigh as well as some of the other members here.  We had a few brief interactions.

Leigh was a  self perceived "bad girl".  And it was through this thread that we connected.  I've never considered myself a "bad girl".  But I have always been able to press the buttons, push the limits, and test the boundaries of any social system.  She recognized that in me and shared a limited view into her life. 

Bad was the view she displayed, it wasn't in her heart to be bad.  She talked a tough line but had a tender heart. Her shell of black leather did not protect her from the barbs of life as she portrayed. Her obstinacy was her way of saying "check your hypocrisy at the door".

She was proud of her little happy face with a whip.... much to the chagrin of some members of the forum.  I believe her overt presentation was mostly in fun... a fashion statement of sorts.

I'm sure that Leigh would have loved to go... riding the road on a powerful machine... a grumbling engine throbbing between her legs.. tires screeching... rubber burning... absurd speed... and a theatrical crash... conflagration ... the earth rumbling, cracking ... grinning and facing the devil down at his own gate.

Ride the roads of heaven Leigh.  Wake up the neighbors.  Give 'em hell!

Cindi

               I am at a loss for words. Leigh was one of the reasons I am here at Susan's.  We shared one little bit of history together long ago in different lives. I had already been missing her. She was never too blunt or rough, she was just Leigh.

               Her name is no longer listed as a member, is there a way possible that it could be retired? I would not want someone else to use her name.


I hope things are lots better there hun, when I get there we can share another bit of history.

love

beth

I met Leigh on Susans a long time ago and thought she was a little rough and remember her and Elvira going at it all the time. I remember when she got her surgery too and then about a year later she had breast cancer. I know she was pretty rough at times, but she was very nice in person. I have met her a couple of times when her and Lori Buckwalter would come down to Eugene to help me with the Gender Identity cause. I didn't know she still had the cancer and this is really a shocker. I'm so sad that I didn't get another chance to be with her. I remember her sitting in the audience when I gave my speech and it was my coming out day too. That was the first time I met her. She was cute. I'm really going to miss her. She told me one day she was going to bring down a whole lot of dykes to clog up the restrooms down here in Eugene. I told her I didnt want any trouble.
Good bye Leigh, I will miss you a lot.
Love, your friend Sheila

 :'(

I frequently disagreed with Leigh but I always respected her opinions and her courage of
conviction in those opinions.  She was a strong woman who didn't tolerate fools, whose
words were often sharp, but also genuine.  I will miss her.

So long Leigh,

Dawn

tink :icon_chick:

^{*mourns the death of a friend and celibates the birth of a little baby girl named Leigh...*}

I will very much miss her tough, no-nonsense, no-bs style that was hiding a warm heart and a wonderful woman.

Hopefully next time around (for her sake, not ours) she gets the right body to match her mind. As for us, we were lucky she didn't, so we got her company over these too few years.

Dennis

My god... I had no idea. I'd been wondering why she wasn't posting.

I so appreciated her honesty... not just in what she said, or her opinions, but in just the way she WAS Leigh. No excuses. No apologies.

She was always such a source of strength and stability... it's hard to imagine her ever being gone :(

Being new in this group I find myself looking back and trying to get a feel of the person Leigh was.....all I know is she seemed to be someone who stood up for herself and her life and that, in itself, is something that I admire more than I can express.

Good bye Leigh......you leave with an integrity that can never be questioned.  I only wish I had known you longer as I believe I could have learned much from you.

Brandi

I'd very much hoped to meet Leigh in Portland.  Terri had spoken highly of her -- both the good and the 'bad'.  Terri told me that Leigh had gone from being a dragster driver to a pizza delivery driver due to her transition, and missed the drag strip but loved every minute of her post-SRS life.

Her loss will tinge the Portland gathering with melancoly.  I never knew her personally, but I will hoist a glass in her memory.

Karen

I am deeply saddened th hear this news. :'(

Kate Alice

NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I can't even finish reading this.  I am crying hard.  I met with her on several occasions and considered her a good friend.   :'( :'( :'(  Too much death.

Melissa :'( :'( :'(
Posted on: September 10, 2006, 10:33:34 PM

---

Ok, doing somewhat better now.  She has helped me more than she knew with my transition and she will never be forgotten.  I deeply miss her.  I've never had a closer friend to me die before, so this is very hard.

Melissa

Hey everyone,

I just had the strangest experience.  As I read of the passing of Leigh it made me cry. I don't know why, I didn't really know her and never PM'd her.  To be honest she kind of rubbed me the wrong way.  Despite that, I also had a deep respect for her.  I love people of conviction, even if I disagree with that conviction.  She is what my dad would have called "a smart ol broad", granted a term of endearment, however, I did not cry when my dad died.  Strange that the loss of a person I have never met moved me more than  the passing of my own father.  I guess it is a testiment to the kind of person she was and her ability to influence others around her.  I will miss her.

Love always,
Elizabeth

I am in shock.  She was always so full of life here, it is hard to imagine her gone now.  Plus she was the only other person in leather here.  She definitely will be missed and I am very glad to read that her leather Dad was there with her and that she was not alone.

I am so sorry to hear of her passing

Loss of family is especially hard, and Leigh was family.

Robyn

Leigh was a person I thought about often.  She helped me so much with transition that a lot of her information and/or her opinions were thought about.  We had met in a coffee shop several times and had the most wonderful chats that lasted for hours.  She gave me one of the books I used for coming out at work.  On one of the last occasions I had to see her, I brought along my daughter, so Leigh got a chance to meet her.  I felt like I was a her little sister. *Pauses to wipe tears away* We always got along.  I think we liked each other because neither of us liked dealing with BS and fluffing up stuff.  We hugged after each of our meetings and she told me she could see I'll do well as a woman.  I will miss her dearly.

Melissa

Leigh. I had breif incounters with her when I first came here. I would PM her, and she would get right back to be. That I appreciated since at the time I myself was looking for so many answers still. I have to admit I steered clear of her after reading some of her posts, seeing just how maybe sometimes she was overly blunt, but you know what? That was Leigh, and that is why I respected her and really was hoping to met her in Portland, so I would have been able to see for myself there was a softer side to her. Rest In Peace Leigh.

                                            Marco

I think that I have recovered enough from the shock of Leigh's passing to comment.  I have to say that I went to pieces when I received the email from Cyd, Leigh's leather dad, telling me of Leigh's passing, I had just been chatting with her last week.

How do you comment on a person such as Leigh...  I've know Leigh for quite a while now and like many here I looked to her as my big sister.  We spent many an hour chatting, sorting out the worlds problems passing advice back and forth, although the advice often passed was from Leigh to me.

We spoke in depth on her battle with cancer and she honestly thought that she had it licked, but then she went so fast.  She was a breath of fresh air, there was no BS from her or about her, she said what she meant and meant what she said, and I truly admired her for that.  I guess I would like to think that we were kindred spirits and we often joked about the spirit world, we poked fun at many things as she did have a very subtle sense of humor.

I'll miss her greeting to me on IM when she buzzed me to chat - "hey girly girl, want a cookie".  And I would always joke with her that I'm coming down to visit her and let her take me to the bars as her date, and how heads would turn when they saw her hanging with me.  But you know it wouldn't have phased her one bit, cause that was the type of woman she was.  , We had begun to plan getting together in January sometime, after my surgery in Dec, so we could "compare results" (her words) :).

People often thought that she was an opinionated, strong willed, rough around the edges type of girl, but to me she will always be my "nut bar", one of the sweetest women I have known, a friend and soul mate, my chocolate chip cookie.

Steph

Oh no!!!! :'( :'( :'(
Posted on: 2006-September-11, 11:46:23 AM

---

Quote from: Steph on September 11, 2006, 12:00:34 PMI'll miss her greeting to me on IM when she buzzed me to chat - "hey girly girl, want a cookie".

Heh, that's good! I'm really sorry now that I didn't get to know her better. :'( :'( :'(

All that time I was waiting for her to get back to me when I asked about the dark side icon and I never even realized that she was battling terminal illness.

Yeah, I believe it was throat cancer if I remember correctly what she told me.

Melissa

Quote from: Melissa on September 11, 2006, 02:19:12 PM
Yeah, I believe it was throat cancer if I remember correctly what she told me.

Melissa

It started out as cancer of the lymph nodes, and after the operation and many chemo treatments they though that they had it all and that she was in remission but cancer is one tough nut to beat.

Steph

Ok, according to the Wikipedia:

Quote from: Wikipedia
The term throat cancer is sometimes used as a layman's term for a cancer of the larynx or pharynx, a cancer that has metastasized to the lymph nodes of the neck, or even esophageal cancer.

So I guess I was right, but in a general sort of way.  Thanks for the specifics Steph.

Melissa

Rest In Peace Leigh.

May Flights of Angels Sing Thee to Thy Rest.

Jessica.

Dear, Lord...  I had no idea about the battle she fought.

I know, deep inside, that her spirit is reading what we are saying.  So excuse me for writing present tense.

Leigh, I have not always agreed with you, but I have always respected  and listened to what you had to say.  When you spoke, I tried to hear the meaning behind your words, not just the words themselves.

I have met a lot of tough, determined people in my life - several of them here at Susan's - but never anyone tougher and more determined.  I know that you met death with your eyes wide open.

Rest in peace here, Leigh.  I know that you are already creating a ruckus and whipping everyone into shape in the next life.

Qa'pla!

Chaunte

I am saddened to hear of Leigh's passing.  My memory will be of a strong willed woman who spoke her mind and I admired her for it.  Leigh lives in each of us in some manner I believe.

I'm reminded of a poem by T.S. Eliot, "Getting older, you refuse to fritter away your time on nonsense, you drop your masks, your little vanities and false ambitions."  This poem reminds me of Leigh.

Maya

It is a great loss that can never be filled. I will truly miss Leigh. It also makes me more sad to learn  that we had a lot of things in commend. I just wish we would have had a chance to meet in person.

Brandi

AH!  I wondered where all her posts were too!  I'm new here, but I thought she was hilarious and had that confidence and openness that always kinda makes me feel a bit reverential, like "That's the way to be"...  She reminded me a lot of someone I knew in person who died a couple years ago, also of widespread cancer.

*sigh* People always go before you realize how much you will miss them when they do.  I barely knew her but I will definitely miss her posts.

A friend of hers logged into the forum and deleted her account. they may have also deleted her posts. I do not know.

I must admit - I never knew Leigh. So I won't pretend to have any special insight into her life.

The think that strikes me about her story is that she lived 60 years, with all but two of them in the correct gender. And to me, that is very sad.

Let this be a lesson to all of us. Tommorow, you could be hit by a bus, or get cancer, or any number of things. Would you look back and say that you had wanted to live? Would you consider your life a success?

Or fears limit us so, and yet they are such a fickle thing.

Bree

Quote from: Brianna on September 13, 2006, 03:32:43 PM
Let this be a lesson to all of us. Tommorow, you could be hit by a bus, or get cancer, or any number of things. Would you look back and say that you had wanted to live? Would you consider your life a success?

Or fears limit us so, and yet they are such a fickle thing.

So very, VERY true.

Leigh's "never apologize" attitude and unwavering integrity keep reminding me of "Valerie's Note" from the movie "V for Vendetta":

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses, and apologized to no one.

I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it's all that we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free.

I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us.

What I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that though I do not know you and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you... I love you.

Kate, you seem to always post profound things like this at just the right times.

Melissa

I'm shocked. I haven't been around for a long time and had no idea what was going on, no idea that Leigh passed away.

Though I didn't talk to her much, I will miss her and her attitude. Her name still figures on my yahoo friends list, also already silent for a long time...

but the mere presence of Leigh, her uncompromising realness ...the kind of thing I would look to and draw courage from whenever society tries to push me into compromise of whatever sort.

People like Leigh challenge and therefore change the world, simply by being in it.

even the notice of her passing seems to raise the bar for me... to stay in touch better than I have with people who matter to me in whatever way, here and irl.

Leigh, rest in peace.

should I write that? one of her fav lines was 'no rest for the wicked', and I bet she's causing a riot up there!


Alex

PS: Thanks to Susan for the reference to the newspaper article.

i am so sorry for her friends and family
i didnt know her well
but her posts often made laugh
rest in peace leigh

Quote from: unicorn on September 14, 2006, 10:58:12 AM
Though I didn't talk to her much, I will miss her and her attitude. Her name still figures on my yahoo friends list, also already silent for a long time...

I know what you mean Alex.  Her name is still listed in my Yahoo, and other IM's, I just don't want to delete it.  I was staring at her name yesterday and for some reason I double clicked on it.  A window popped open and I "buzzed" her with "I miss you hon" half expecting that I would get a reply, but...  I don't know why I did it really, silly I know but she was special to me.

Silly humans

Steph

Yeah, I still had her name in my yahoo list as well.  I just removed it.  I felt it was a way of letting her go, because she was a wild horse and she was never meant to be captured.  I will always hold her in my heart and it will be a while before I find the strength to remove her from my phone as well.

Melissa

I just saw the announcement about Leigh Ann.  Whether you agreed with her or not, she always had something thoughtful to say.  She was true to her convictions and she lived what she believed.  Her life made us all richer; her passing leaves a hole in our hearts.  May she rest in peace. 

LOUISE

I haven't visited in a while, and this is a big shock.
I'm at a loss for words, I can only hope her friends and family find strength now that she's gone. She was a strong woman who always stood up for herself, and a wonderful member of our community here. :'(

As usual, the big things in life happen when I'm wrapped up in my own little world.  She passed away from cancer at about the same time I had a basal cell carcinoma surgically removed from my face (relatively trifling, perhaps, but my first cancer diagnosis).  I haven't been logging in much lately to very many of the various forums I've joined.  Just preoccupied.  This reminds me how preoccupied I've been. :icon_sadblinky:

-Celia

It's been like forever since I've last visited this forum and I actually came here to look for Leigh, so this news makes me terribly sad.

Leigh was born in the town I live in--in a house less than three blocks from where I currently live. She was the first transperson other than myself I ever met in person and I will never forget that very special occasion.

I'm gonna miss you Leigh. I'm just so sorry I didn't try to look you up sooner.  :'(

~Shannon