Susan's Place Transgender Resources

As of this point in my life, I have not yet done much to go down the path of becoming a male. I'm still very much at the starting point and the most I have done is dress up in male clothing and because I act/talk like a guy, everyone always mistakens me as a guy (which I am very very very proud of and happy when they do :D )

However...because of that it brings up an issue which I find super confusing almost everyday of my life.

Which bathroom do I use?

I look like a guy, everyone thinks I'm a guy, I feel like a guy so do I use the guy's bathroom? Or do I use the woman's bathroom in fear that someone might find out?

It's confusing to me really. Especially now since when I go into the men's bathroom, no one either cares or notices but when I enter the women's bathroom, someone whispers or yells out that there's a "man" in the bathroom.

If I could simply just use the men's bathroom, life would be so much easier.

So does anyone else have this issue? If so, how do you decide?

If you're passing then it'd probably be a good idea to use the men's room since you won't get as much attention. If you're in a situation where you're not passing then use the women's. If you're not sure... hold it? Basically it's all a judgment call, really you just gotta figure out each time you go to use the loo.

And because when I saw this thread this is the first thing I thought of-
ESPN Sportscenter Commercial - Western Kentucky Mascot (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_BYO_6nvdI#lq-lq2-hq)

Hi
Been lots of threads on this.
If you are FtM and passing use the stalls in the mens

Or the ones in the back :laugh:

Cindy

Quote from: Crypt77 on June 25, 2009, 02:19:27 AMEspecially now since when I go into the men's bathroom, no one either cares or notices but when I enter the women's bathroom, someone whispers or yells out that there's a "man" in the bathroom.

I'd say the Men's. :D

Mens for sure if you're passing well.

Even if you didn't quite pass and were in that awkward inbetween stage, I'd still go for mens, a woman in the mens bathroom isn't going to cause any problems except maybe people giving you funny looks. A man in a womans bathroom is a whole different story.

Quote from: CindyJames on June 25, 2009, 04:40:02 AM
Been lots of threads on this.

Yeah sorry. The search tool didn't work for me at the time, so I couldn't find the other topics like these. My bad.

But thanks for all the replies you guys!

If you're passing and can piss standing up, there is no need to banish yourself to a stall like Cindy suggests.

When I was pre-T I did not pass.  I live in the northeast and we have our share of butch lesbians.  So I got read as butch.

I took my daughter to KY during that phase, still pre-T.  That time of the month.  Knowing I didn't pass, I used the ladies' room.  I did get a lot of funny looks.  Guess they don't have that many lesbians there!  But I didn't feel confident enough to try the men's room.

Now I'd get arrested if I tried to use the ladies' room.  That and my legal documentation says MALE.


Jay

Quote from: Mister on June 25, 2009, 10:33:13 AM
If you're passing and can piss standing up, there is no need to banish yourself to a stall like Cindy suggests.

Totally agree, didn't mean otherwise. BTW I've been to many gents and just didn't want to be even close to those at the urinal; and NOTHING to do with being TG. Retreat to stall. Retreat best form of defense sometimes
Cindy

I have the same problem.  I'm sure pretty much all the members on this site aren't strangers to funny looks, whispers, and questions when entering the restroom, and I'm no exception.  Pretty much every time I use the bathroom either people tell me I've gone in the wrong one and then I say "Nah I didn't" in the most female voice I can (ugh.. but the embarrassed looks are HILARIOUS) or they figure they've mistaken and check the sign on the door and walk back in with the oddest of expressions on their face. 

The biggest problem I have is the chance of running into someone I know.  It would be so incredibly awkward to run into someone in/coming out of the mens room when they know (or think they know) that I am not a man. 

When I was visiting my sister across the country (in SF actually.. so I felt a lil safer) I went to use the mens room... but the two stalls were taken and as I had no way to use the urinal I booked it outta there..... mostly awkward because I still had to pee REALLY bad and I couldn't really walk out of one and into the other as there were people around. 

I really don't think I'd get any funny looks in the mens room.  At worst people would assume I'm a 15 year old.  Which is whatever.  I'm ok with that. 

I just got 2 packys and plan on making at least one of them into an STP... maybe that'll give me the balls (literally ... sorta =p) to give it a shot again... I'd still head to a stall to start out with, but just in case they're full up I won't feel lame/awkward standing around the mens room waiting for a stall because I could really use the urinal.  I'm rather excited.  Hope I don't wimp out eh?

This is a really tough one.  I just hate this and when I am out I often find myself hovering.  You see I really, really want to use the mens bathroom obviously but i do not want to be stared at like I am some kind of a freak therefore sometimes just because it is easier I suck it up and use the womens.
Funnily enough in of all places gay bars I feel the most uncomfortable unless the toilets are unisex probably because the toilets in gay bars are very sexual environments oftentimes and I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable if they perceive me to be a woman.
I absolutely hate having to use public bathrooms though.  Bring on unisex bathrooms I say!!!!

Quote from: milliontoone on June 26, 2009, 01:02:53 PM
Bring on unisex bathrooms I say!!!!

Aye. So what if men and women are in the same bathroom doing business, I mean, that's what stalls are for...And the whole separation of genders to avoid getting raped in the bathroom, with all the gay people, that kinda doesn't work anymore.

I dare you to use the men's room.  :P Would be an enlightening experience for your changing mind.

Haha it's not like I haven't used the men's room before. It just gets confusing. But now I would look down at my chest first (since unfortunately I do not have the money to buy a binder yet  :( ) Make sure I look ok then choose the bathroom.

Though I'm trying to figure out if I really want to get a STP device yet.

Quote from: Asher on June 27, 2009, 02:15:25 PM
Aye. So what if men and women are in the same bathroom doing business, I mean, that's what stalls are for...And the whole separation of genders to avoid getting raped in the bathroom, with all the gay people, that kinda doesn't work anymore.

And dude! I totally agree. I realized this when I was trying to choose which bathrooms to go in. Not only that I have been to many places where the men would use the women's bathroom and some of the women would go into the men's bathroom...and they're not even LGBT. Interesting world we live in now.

I am tired to this bathroom debate. Those probably so called ''Great generation'' women must just accept my presence. I am not going to men's room with neovagina. Full stop.

Ah, Dark Lady, nobody is trying to get you to use the men's rooms.
The women's room is fine for you and your neo-vagina.
Me? I've got a paleo-vagina! >:-)

I have the same issue i get wierd looks no matter wich bathroom i go in i cant stand it

Quote from: chris1209 on June 30, 2009, 01:33:52 AM
I have the same issue i get wierd looks no matter wich bathroom i go in i cant stand it

Yeah, allot of folks trip on me either way also. I avoid public restrooms as much as possible   :P

I have noticed that women are much more chattier in the restroom. Some will even help you with your make up  :icon_chick:

Hahaha that reminds me. One of the reasons why I choose the men's bathroom from time to time is the long lines in front of the female bathroom. Hahah!

Virginia Marie mentioned chatty women in the restroom. I've noticed the same thing and it suddenly occurred to me men don't BS in the restroom. It must be some unspoken macho rule. Men will avoid even being in a restroom with another man in there.

If I'm stood next to a friend, at the bar or at the urinal, I'll chat away just fine.  I don't try to start conversations with strangers at urinals but then I don't try to engage strangers in conversations anywhere.

Unless you have a specific reason to talk to someone (asking for help, the time, directions, etc.) then I very rarely see any strangers interact in non-social public environments.  If I start talking to some random guy on the bus or in a queue at a supermarket, he'll think I'm a bit weird.  It's not really got anything to do with bathrooms except, maybe, that no guy thinks of a toilet as a social environment (except maybe the cottagers...hehe) :)

You guys just reminded me of a video I saw a few years ago:

Male Restroom Etiquette (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzO1mCAVyMw#lq-lq2-hq)

Haha, I hope you guys enjoy :D

this is making me want to try it out!

i get looks too.  but the reason i keep using the womens room, is that when women are shocked, they act embarrassed and apologetic. When men are shocked, they look at me like they want to rip my head off and drink the blood.

maybe it's where i live?

or maybe that's only because i almost tricked the guys into going into the girls room?

p.s. i love the hilltoppers espn commercial.

LOL on the restroom etiquette.  Though from my brief experiences there, crowded places like airports the urinal rules seem suspended.  I've gone in and had every urinal taken.  And Chicago has no dividers though many men's rooms do.


Jay

Hi Cryptt

Loved it.

Cindy

Quote from: GnomeKid on June 26, 2009, 05:59:13 AM
When I was visiting my sister across the country (in SF actually.. so I felt a lil safer) I went to use the mens room... but the two stalls were taken and as I had no way to use the urinal I booked it outta there..... mostly awkward because I still had to pee REALLY bad and I couldn't really walk out of one and into the other as there were people around.

I just wait for a stall.  If someone gives me sh~t about it, I'll tell them I have to take a dump. :P  Their fault for bringing it up.  Plus, of ALL the times I've waited for a stall (which is many), no one has EVER confronted me.