Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Well pretty much what the title says.

How do/did you react to this unpleasantry? (gut reaction previous to "dealing with it")

How do/did you deal with it/make it more bearable? 

i went on testosterone.  problem solved.

chocolate.

Quote from: Mister on July 13, 2009, 01:07:40 PM
i went on testosterone.  problem solved.

ha, yea... I'm working on that (have an appt. to discuss it with a doctor in like a month... but til then  :P)

^ yeah going on T helped lol. but we all did have to deal with it. I didn't really do anything, I just kinda hated my life for those 5 days. I guess I'm not very helpful, but there's not really that much to do aside from going on T

I just deal with it until it passes.

It's not cramps, I feel sick enough that I feel like I need to vomit, and a heavy flow is rather annoying, but it's not like I can do much until T.

Tampons.

I've gotten so used to them I don't think much about it anymore. I look forward to T taking care of it.

I'm 26... I got my first period when I was 11.. 15 years is enough time to learn to deal with it on a simple "object" sort of level and ignore it's "connection" to me as a person.
I treat it as a mechanical issue.
I take a low-dose hormone pill, yasmine, to keep them regular and make sure they don't sneak up on me. I would take it every day and thus eliminate them completely but that means another 7 days per month that I put disgusting girl hormones into my body.
I'm hoping to be on T soon enough so I can stop taking those horrible, disgusting, things and be free of the monthly red death!

Quote from: Radar on July 13, 2009, 02:14:56 PM
Tampons.

I've gotten so used to them I don't think much about it anymore. I look forward to T taking care of it.

I can't use Tampons. It bothers me to have them up there. I'd rather bleed into a rag (sorry for the graphicness) and just treat it like a wound instead of put a tampon up there. And I'm not even particularly disphoric. But I guess this is one of the things I'm ick'd out by... In fact, until this discussion I hadn't realized that's how I felt about it. Which is weird, cuz I can put other stuff up there (like, in... "intimate" settings) but that's cuz other stuff feels good. I guess that's kind of contradictory though...

Quote from: Radar on July 13, 2009, 02:14:56 PM
Tampons.

I'll second this.  It gets rid of the "dead fish in my pants" constant reminder.  I also used Ibuprofen pretty liberally.  I would take up to 4 of them first thing in the morning to kill the cramps, then take 1 every 4 hours, whether I was in pain or not, to keep them at bay.

I have been trying so hard to get comfortable with tampons, I had my first experience with being on while at work last week and it was traumatizing, I kicked myself for using pads. I must have gone in to the bathroom about 50 times during the day to catch a time when nobody else was in there. There was no way I was gonna banish myself to the female bathroom although it was very very tempting. So much easier to deal with when I could lock myself in my room and sleep a lot :P

Tampons and painkillers.

Most of the time I forget the tampon is there and the painkillers stop the pain.

I do my best to forget about it.

Quote from: Braedon (formerly NES_junkie) on July 13, 2009, 04:43:16 PM
I can't use Tampons. It bothers me to have them up there. I'd rather bleed into a rag (sorry for the graphicness) and just treat it like a wound instead of put a tampon up there. And I'm not even particularly disphoric. But I guess this is one of the things I'm ick'd out by... In fact, until this discussion I hadn't realized that's how I felt about it. Which is weird, cuz I can put other stuff up there (like, in... "intimate" settings) but that's cuz other stuff feels good. I guess that's kind of contradictory though...

I use tampons because they're less noticeable to me and I feel like I'm wearing Depends or something with a pad. I guess it's sort of like "out of sight, out of mind" for me with tampons.

Quote from: Radar on July 14, 2009, 07:26:13 AM
I use tampons because they're less noticeable to me and I feel like I'm wearing Depends or something with a pad. I guess it's sort of like "out of sight, out of mind" for me with tampons.

Same idea for me, except I use the moon cup.
The tampons are too "dry" for me...

Quote from: Radar on July 14, 2009, 07:26:13 AM
I use tampons because they're less noticeable to me and I feel like I'm wearing Depends or something with a pad. I guess it's sort of like "out of sight, out of mind" for me with tampons.

Yeah. they feel like diapers.

Whenever the monthly problem comes along, I don't deal with it in a very healthy way. I usually become depressed and disassociative. Almost like I have no emotions.

I hate myself for those 3-5 days, and it's very painful, too, so it's like a constant reminder. I think that maybe if the cramping wasn't so bad then maybe I'd feel a bit better about it.

I have to use pads, as well. I have an overall fear of the the nether regions. Tampons would be traumatizing for me.

I agree with everyone who suggested tampons. I'd gone several years using pads but it bothered me worse and worse to have them there. I mean... with a tampon it stops the flow from coming out and drawing attention down there.

I like to use tampons, because I can try to ignore that it's happening. What sucks though, is that on days where I'm cramping something terrible, tampons just aren't an option. So in general, I become horribly depressed and disgusted until it goes away. It's awful.

Here we go:
The Menstrual BloodStopper (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDrvG5SVRtM#lq-hq)
But on a serious note, I don't know how to deal with that stuff. I'd just kinda quit life and curl up in a fetal position for the whole week. btw I also had a problem with tampons. Never even tried one in fact, the idea is sickening.

Because I couldn't handle the knowledge that I was bleeding down there and constantly felt like I had wet my pants (extremely squeamish just thinking about it), I use toilet paper rather than pads. Sort of gross, but I basically just stopper it up a little bit and... Well, it doesn't go up anywhere like a tampon and doesn't just let... everything get bloody and... disgusting.  So it works for me.  I feel far more human not feeling so...
:eusa_sick:

On the first day, I get upset and grossed out. Then I tend to mostly get over it. I rarely get cramps so I'm usually able to forget about it... thankfully.

As far as pads and tampons go, I usually use tampons. I can't really stand feeling the pad in my pants.

Quote from: Adrian on July 17, 2009, 05:08:45 AM
Because I couldn't handle the knowledge that I was bleeding down there and constantly felt like I had wet my pants (extremely squeamish just thinking about it), I use toilet paper rather than pads. Sort of gross, but I basically just stopper it up a little bit and... Well, it doesn't go up anywhere like a tampon and doesn't just let... everything get bloody and... disgusting.  So it works for me.  I feel far more human not feeling so...
:eusa_sick:

you must have a pretty light flow to be able to do that

Really?  Well, I don't have any experience to compare mine to others'... If it was any worse, I would be very upset, so I can only imagine how others feel.

Mine have always been ridiculously heavy. I've used that method once when I was round a friends house in the middle of the night and had no other option. It had soaked through the huge wad of paper and my jeans within an hour :'(

Oh, man, that's pretty terrible.  Mine never soaks through the wad itself.  I had no idea there was anything worse.  Are pads really any better?  If I had it that bad, I'd go nuts.   :(

I always use the "night" pads, which are huge. I have to change them so frequently that I even have to set an alarm to wake me up in the middle of the night otherwise I wake up with it everywhere :eusa_sick:

I can't help but pray for something to go horribly wrong with my girl parts so they have to be removed

I forget if you didn't already post something about this - but wouldn't going on T take care of that problem, and eventually open up opportunity for a hysterectomy?

Sure isn't... Doctors can be difficult.  So can money.  That is completely understandable.  I don't know whether a short term on birth control would be worth it, but if someone's symptoms are terrible enough, it may be.

Waiting (im)patiently for T. Waiting lists for clinics are a pain in the rear. I can't have the pill and the depo jab has messed me up enough from the 4 years I was on it. I thought hysterectomys were still difficult to get even if you're on T, doctors tend to be reluctant to remove healthy parts.

Quote from: Jeatyn on July 21, 2009, 07:58:59 AM
Waiting (im)patiently for T. Waiting lists for clinics are a pain in the rear. I can't have the pill and the depo jab has messed me up enough from the 4 years I was on it. I thought hysterectomys were still difficult to get even if you're on T, doctors tend to be reluctant to remove healthy parts.

I had my hysto about 15 months after starting T, with no objections from my GP or the surgeon. In the UK, the general thought is that a hysto should be performed within 5 years of starting T, and preferably within 2 years. Obviously, not every guy wants a hysto, but for those who do it generally isn't a problem.

:)

I thought hysto was a must becuase when your on T you can get cysts and stuff in those parts ???

orly? I have been misinformed it would seem. Awesome  ;D

How do I deal? I don't. I fall apart. I'll call in from work, stay home from school... sit around the house and be livid and utterly hopelessly depressed at the same time.

Quote from: Mister on July 13, 2009, 01:07:40 PM
i went on testosterone.  problem solved.

For you. At over 7 months that problem still isn't solved for me. >:(

Quote from: Randy on July 21, 2009, 11:15:17 PM
How do I deal? I don't. I fall apart. I'll call in from work, stay home from school... sit around the house and be livid and utterly hopelessly depressed at the same time.

For you. At over 7 months that problem still isn't solved for me. >:(

Pretty sure it depends on dose, and just the person of course. I had irregular ones my entire life, and it took right around 7-9 months for mine to completely disappear after starting 

I was hit with the monthly torture this morning.  Spent the whole night tossing and turning and knowing something was wrong.  I have a history of anxiety and it surfaces at this time of the month; I was terrified when I woke up between dreams, and even more so when I discovered that I was bleeding.  Ugh.  Panic ensues, and I decide I am going to hole up in my bedroom until I feel human.

Luckily, I can see a psychiatrist to talk about T this year, but it's probably going to be early next year before anything happens.  I finally got an exception to the rule (only over 18 can see this psychiatrist) because I expressed that a year growing more and more feminine was too much for me to bear.

Hang in there, everyone.  As hard as it is.  At least we won't have to live our whole lives with this.  I've spent more time with the monthly torture so far than I will by the time I start T, so I figure... I should be grateful.

Quote from: Randy on July 21, 2009, 11:15:17 PM
How do I deal? I don't. I fall apart. I'll call in from work, stay home from school... sit around the house and be livid and utterly hopelessly depressed at the same time.

For you. At over 7 months that problem still isn't solved for me. >:(

go to the gyno. something's amiss. unless you're on gel.

Quote from: Mister on July 23, 2009, 05:37:09 PM
go to the gyno. something's amiss. unless you're on gel.

Well, I started off at half the normal dose. I've called, and my endo (who also happens to be a gyno) is bumping up my dosage. She also suspects something being wrong in that area (my family does have a history of endometriosis), but the last time I was there and she wanted to do an exam we didn't because I was bleeding at the time.

Half the normal dose?  for seven months?  not surprising.

If it doesn't stop soon (i.e. in the next couple weeks), you might want to ask about getting on a small dose of Depo Provera (medroxyprogesterone acetate) to help stop your menstrual cycle.  Straight out of the FTM healthcare bible...

QuoteOccasionally, especially in patients with lower serum testosterone levels, the addition of a progestin such as medroxyprogesterone acetate 5 to 10 mg may be required to induce complete cessation of menses.

There's an FTM healthcare bible?? You know I'm all about overdosing on info... What's this resource?

Straight out of the FTM healthcare bible*...


*Source: Author's imagination


There, fixed it for all of you.

That's what i call it.  It's actually called Medical Therapy and Health Maintenance for Transgender Men: A Guide For Health Care Providers by Nick Gorton (i.e. the doctor i moved across the country to be treated by) Free PDF download at nickgorton.org

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Post Merge: July 23, 2009, 11:24:53 PM

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Quote from: tekla on July 23, 2009, 11:23:19 PM
Straight out of the FTM healthcare bible*...


*Source: Author's imagination


There, fixed it for all of you.

not so much, but thanks for giving it a shot.

Quote from: Mister on July 23, 2009, 11:24:09 PM
That's what i call it.  It's actually called Medical Therapy and Health Maintenance for Transgender Men: A Guide For Health Care Providers by Nick Gorton (i.e. the doctor i moved across the country to be treated by) Free PDF download at nickgorton.org

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Post Merge: July 24, 2009, 12:24:53 AM

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not so much, but thanks for giving it a shot.

Well I knew it wasn't actually *called* the FTM healthcare bible, lol. Thanks for the title, I'll add it to my list for calling bookstores tomorrow. You really are a great resource in and of yourself. Thanks!

That one's a freebie on the web.  Not published in hardcover.

Ah yes, you did mention that. Sorry, it's late here and I'm apparently too tired to be up "internetting". lol

... I need to learn to notice when I haven't read the whole thread before replying.. nvm my previous comment.

Wear the fattest most comfortable clothing I own, get a bucket of Ben & Jerry's, and watch horror movies.
I use pads myself. It's gross but tampons leak for me...

Fortunately I have an extremely irregular cycle. Sometimes I can go up to a year without a single period, it runs in my family. Weird, huh?

Quote from: Khrist on July 26, 2009, 12:32:53 AM
Wear the fattest most comfortable clothing I own, get a bucket of Ben & Jerry's, and watch horror movies.
I use pads myself. It's gross but tampons leak for me...

Fortunately I have an extremely irregular cycle. Sometimes I can go up to a year without a single period, it runs in my family. Weird, huh?

Weird, or lucky.  ;D

Quote from: Adrian on July 26, 2009, 03:00:46 AM
Weird, or lucky.  ;D

LOL. My mother actually tried to take me to the doctor, concerned. Wanted to start me on the pill to get it "evened out" and I'm just like "Why?!"

Ha ha ha... I wake up, possibly in a screaming fit or a panic attack; and take about 6 ibuprofin (not a good idea) and curl up with an electric heating pad on high (yes, I've gotten burns from it before). I can't use tampons, they've always made the pain noticeably worse; and I stay away from caffeine entirely for about three days (caffeine headaches. unyay). I use cloth cycle pads, because the store brand disposable ones always gave me terrible rashes. After the first three days, I use a diva-cup (cycle cup) for the next 4 or 5 to prevent ruined clothes. Sometimes I can't get myself to use it, in which case I just wear black and trash some undergarments.

Usually don't eat anything at all the first day, and stay at home from work the first two. Usually by the third day I can eat pretty normally and go to work again, so long as I don't have to look at anyone or move much. (I get nasty and violent, it seriously sucks.)

I also have endometriosis, which I really worry about when I do someday try to get a 'scrip for T; but for now usually results in explosive bloody diarrhea on the first two days (TMI, I know). I did try to take birth control for awhile to help with the pain because it's supposed to lessen symptoms; and ended up having a TIA (stroke) when I was 19. Not cool. (It is a rather rare side effect, but still. Not touching the stuff again.)

Now I just suffer and live through it. Ibuprofin, potassium, no caffeine, and a good heating pad. Sometimes dramamine or ny-quil so I can get to sleep.

I am much like you are, cody. burns from heating pad and all. Bowel probs too. I wish docs would just cut the stuff out and end the pain but they are idiots.

Quote from: LordKAT on July 26, 2009, 10:38:54 AM
I am much like you are, cody. burns from heating pad and all. Bowel probs too. I wish docs would just cut the stuff out and end the pain but they are idiots.

I hear you. I asked a doctor how much a hysterectomy might be, and he laughed in my face! He says to me, "You might change your mind later!" Says, "What if you decide to have children?" Says, "You'll just end up regretting it."
Frankly I can't stand it when a doctor who has never owned a uterus is telling me what I want to do with mine.

they didn't use that since i have 4 kids and 1 grandchild. Their reasoning is we don't remove anything til we do anything to get your  insurance money first like multiple D&C's and ultrasounds and the one in a doughnut with magnets.  I gave up after the hundredth time of another test.

Ugh. I remember asking about a hysto when I was like 14, and I got laughed at too. Laughed at! The nerve, honestly. I was also told that they wouldn't even consider taking out an organ there wasn't something wrong with. Tell me something that causes debilitating pain has nothing wrong with it  >:(

It's like being a werewolf without the chance to grow claws to maul people with.

when I asked as a kid, they said have 2 kids and be over 25 first. I did that and still no surgery. they said the pain was "all in my head". I can't help it if the brain is what registers the pain, it still hurts. My dad said it was because I didn't do enuff hard work. Funny because until I was 20, I was stronger than most guys I knew.

One would like to think that severe and debilitating endometriosis is a legitimate reason to have one's uterus and ovaries removed.  However, most people (and doctors) seem convinced that a woman will be 'absolutely devastated' if she cannot bear children and they will not take a statement of 'Yes, I have thought about it and no, I do not wish to bear children. Ever.' at face value.  I'm sure there's something in there about them not wanting to get sued if the patient does change their mind, but...  really, isn't that what medical release forms are for?

I also had issues with severe pain (when pain killers fail to even take the edge off and a heating pad actually makes the pain more acute and stabbing, there's probably an issue...) and bowel problems.  Endometriosis runs in the family.  Unfortunately, I also found that being taken seriously by medical professionals can be absurdly difficult, and even in the case of endometriosis they will fight tooth and nail to preserve those damnable organs.  (It was recommended that I take birth control and undergo laparoscopic surgery to remove only the endometrial adhesions, a surgery that will have to be repeated over one's lifetime because it cannot cure endometriosis, only prune back the offending growths.)  Fortunately, most of that bother has been taken care of by the T, with the exception of the occasional sharp twinge (where the ovaries should be... it's odd) and round of mild cramping. 

It's difficult to say why doctors, women and men alike, are adamant to think that a woman will be devastated without her reproductive organs.  It may be simply that, under normal circumstances, most cisgendered women would be devastated by the loss, should they have "perfectly good" organs removed before they bear any children.  This would likely put the doctors in danger of being sued.  In this case, it should be possible for the doctors to distinguish between a woman who will be unable to live without the organs and those who won't.  And at that, they should be able to distinguish between trans men and cisgendered women, but most simply aren't trained in that respect.  Oddly, even those who are still want to make sure, over a given amount of time, that the patient is absolutely sure.

It may just be that men sometimes envy the female ability to give birth, consider it almost sacred, and can hardly imagine why any woman would give it up.  All of this considered, they never try to understand how they would feel if they had the very same organs.  ;)

Nonetheless, just as removing a tumor, an infected, painful limb, is not only legitimate but encouraged, so should be removing a uterus and ovaries when they cause extreme pain that persists year after year.

Seriously, I hate it more than anything. I know when it's coming and I dread it. I have endometriosis too and it sucks. Luckily, the extreme pain only lasts for 2-3 days and then it's light and easy to deal with. Usually the only thing that helps is sleep.

Just like anything else when it comes to being trans, we're constantly tested it seems. Usually for endometriosis, a hysto is recommended, but it's harder to get when it's what you want. I look forward to the day when being trans is at least understood, if not accepted. 

Just a thought:  Have you tried consulting an OBGYN who frequently works with trans people?  You might have to travel, which is a pain in the butt, and may not be possible for you, but it's a thought.  I attended a lecture by Dr. Marcie Bowers a while back, and she indicated that she was quite willing to offer Hysto and go through insurance for those who have medical reasons to remove the organs. (And she hinted that she could be fairly liberal in assigning medical necessity.)  Another Gyno who comes to mind is Dr. Deborah Thorpe in Minneapolis.  I know she's booked several months out with local trans guys (which is the only reason I didn't go to her for hormones) but she does make a point of putting aside time for the trans community, understands our issues, and is highly regarded.

Quote from: Jamie-o on July 27, 2009, 11:03:22 PM
Just a thought:  Have you tried consulting an OBGYN who frequently works with trans people?

A good idea--trouble is finding the ones who are trans-aware (to those who have gender therapists: it's possible they may know of someone).  I don't believe any of the gynos I went to were trans-aware.  I probably should have brought it up, might have found one of them to be understanding and saved myself some pain.

Thanks for the heads-up on Dr. Thorpe in Minneapolis, Jamie-o.  I'm hoping I'll be able to find a job in Minneapolis (graduating in 5 months, civil engineering); I've visited before with some friends and it seems like a great place to live.

Quote from: Eryk on July 28, 2009, 12:32:00 AM
Thanks for the heads-up on Dr. Thorpe in Minneapolis, Jamie-o.  I'm hoping I'll be able to find a job in Minneapolis (graduating in 5 months, civil engineering); I've visited before with some friends and it seems like a great place to live.

I like it out here.  If you do end up in the Twin Cities contact me and I can send you some really helpful links.  (Other trans-friendly providers, and such.)