Site News and Information => Introductions => Topic started by: KathleenD on July 15, 2009, 09:51:08 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Coming to terms
Post by: KathleenD on July 15, 2009, 09:51:08 PM
Post by: KathleenD on July 15, 2009, 09:51:08 PM
Kathleen isn't really my name, I hope you will all forgive me, but I have no one to talk to and a pseudonym feels safer. Earlier today I made a post or two on another site and it was so... liberating. I appreciate the chance to join up here.
I'm a girl. It's taken years, decades, to say that, but that's me inside. I'm not a sicko as far as I can tell. I'm just not a boy.
I have no adam's apple. When I reach to the left with my right arm, or vice versa, I feel my arm press against my breast because I've always had full hips and breasts just big enough to jiggle. Sweating in a tee shirt produces embarrassing patterns.
There are other physical signs.
The one time I showered in Jr. High gym class three or four guys came up to me and asked if I was the kid with no, um, parts.
But it's OK. I saw posts in one of the forums here about using a 'gaff', which I'd never heard of. Wow, that looks like pain, and as of now, after all these years, I appreciate that part of my form. For me a pair of properly fitting bikini undies works well, so I guess I'm lucky! ;)
Time for me to keep things in perspective, though. I can't let a little positive self-adjustment go to my head. After work today I went shopping. I can't pass as a woman, so this was as a guy, although it's hard for me to pass as a guy, either.. After I got a pair of leggings and a couple of pair of hose, I switched from my tennis shoes to a pair of open-toe sandals.
I should admit I was dressed like in that old Joni Mitchell song, nylons under my cowboy jeans.
Driving past a drug store I thought about getting nail polish, turned into the parking lot, and thought I can't really go in without changing shoes again. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I got out of my car and walked towards the door. Then I was in the store, brightly lit. I know I could get mugged doing that but nothing felt out of place. The display of something feminine was just part of my personal landscape.
Anyway, thanks for the chance to come clean about a strange (and wonderful) part of my life.
Hugs to all.
I'm a girl. It's taken years, decades, to say that, but that's me inside. I'm not a sicko as far as I can tell. I'm just not a boy.
I have no adam's apple. When I reach to the left with my right arm, or vice versa, I feel my arm press against my breast because I've always had full hips and breasts just big enough to jiggle. Sweating in a tee shirt produces embarrassing patterns.
There are other physical signs.
The one time I showered in Jr. High gym class three or four guys came up to me and asked if I was the kid with no, um, parts.
But it's OK. I saw posts in one of the forums here about using a 'gaff', which I'd never heard of. Wow, that looks like pain, and as of now, after all these years, I appreciate that part of my form. For me a pair of properly fitting bikini undies works well, so I guess I'm lucky! ;)
Time for me to keep things in perspective, though. I can't let a little positive self-adjustment go to my head. After work today I went shopping. I can't pass as a woman, so this was as a guy, although it's hard for me to pass as a guy, either.. After I got a pair of leggings and a couple of pair of hose, I switched from my tennis shoes to a pair of open-toe sandals.
I should admit I was dressed like in that old Joni Mitchell song, nylons under my cowboy jeans.
Driving past a drug store I thought about getting nail polish, turned into the parking lot, and thought I can't really go in without changing shoes again. I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I got out of my car and walked towards the door. Then I was in the store, brightly lit. I know I could get mugged doing that but nothing felt out of place. The display of something feminine was just part of my personal landscape.
Anyway, thanks for the chance to come clean about a strange (and wonderful) part of my life.
Hugs to all.
Title: Re: Coming to terms
Post by: Janet_Girl on July 15, 2009, 10:43:19 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on July 15, 2009, 10:43:19 PM
Hi Kathleen, :icon_wave:
Welcome to our little family. Over 2700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out
A gaff is a special kind of panties. Used to hold the boy parts in a position that appears flatter. I use one from time to time. It is no more unconfortable that a pair of panties.
Janet
Welcome to our little family. Over 2700 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.
Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams. Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.
But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister. :icon_hug:
And be sure to check out
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
A gaff is a special kind of panties. Used to hold the boy parts in a position that appears flatter. I use one from time to time. It is no more unconfortable that a pair of panties.
Janet
Title: Re: Coming to terms
Post by: bernii on July 15, 2009, 11:00:39 PM
Post by: bernii on July 15, 2009, 11:00:39 PM
Welcome Kathleen!!!
Welcome to Susan's. You are already aware of your femininity and that is good!! Shopping for makeup and clothes is easy. I have found that cashiers and other people in line don't even give it a second thought :)
Anyway, honey, your new here, so please do come in and be welcomed in our newcomers lounge. I have got some really good cocoa and cookies for you hon. Relax and read the forums hon, and most of all POST, POST, POST sweetie!!! You will learn so much more about yourself as you read what others have to say and as you respond to posts with your feelings.
Welcome Kathleen!!
I have got a flower for you
--{---@
ren
Welcome to Susan's. You are already aware of your femininity and that is good!! Shopping for makeup and clothes is easy. I have found that cashiers and other people in line don't even give it a second thought :)
Anyway, honey, your new here, so please do come in and be welcomed in our newcomers lounge. I have got some really good cocoa and cookies for you hon. Relax and read the forums hon, and most of all POST, POST, POST sweetie!!! You will learn so much more about yourself as you read what others have to say and as you respond to posts with your feelings.
Welcome Kathleen!!
I have got a flower for you
--{---@
ren
Title: Re: Coming to terms
Post by: PinkSunshine on July 16, 2009, 05:35:13 AM
Post by: PinkSunshine on July 16, 2009, 05:35:13 AM
Hey girl! Welcome to the forums. None of what you describe comes across as strange, weird, or wrong, and totally doesn't make you a sicko! :P Many of us has had that point in our lives where our recognition of our gender becomes so overwhelming, we have to do something about it, even if it 'feels' embarassing at first. I know I was the same way when I first started. Just remember that it isn't anything to be embarassed about. You are who you are, and noone will change that. So sit back, feel good about being who you really are, and join in on the fun here at Susans :). Big hug!